XII.
He drinks to be sober.
Wine, Whiskey, Rum. Anything that gets your head pounding and the world look like a kaleidoscope of tables and frames.
Anything that allowed him to forget his games, his name, himself.
All he ever saw behind his eyes were images of his games. He was intoxicated with his miseries and memories he didn't want to remember. Drunk on every single gruesome detail, every second of the day.
He could scarcely function.
That's why 5 years later, when he took a sip of white wine, he forced down another even though his throat was on fire and his eyes watered. He took another sip, then a gulp, and before long found the crystal bottle empty and hollow.
He thrashed and fell, tossed the tables, vomited all over himself, tipped a mirror over, and laughed without cause.
He was the most sober he's ever been in 10 years.
Because even as he thrashed about and was soaked in his own bile, he forgot. He forgot the candy pink birds, he forgot the flying axe, he forgot Maysilee Donner's screams.
Instead of feeling the grass underneath his feet from 5 years ago, he felt glass crudely cutting his skin.
And that was just damn fine.
He destroys half his house, but it's fine because it's the most sober he's ever been, the most sane he's ever been.
When he closes his eyes he sees colors whirling instead of that District 1 tribute missing an eye. Although his throat is a coursing fire and his head is alight with fireworks, but it's fine because for once he's at last sober. Sober from all the miseries and Cladius Templesmith's voice.
He falls and lands by the fallen mirror. He stares into the mirror, confused as to who is staring back, bewildered at his own reflection, not sure who this person, who looks very much like him, is.
Haymitch is glad.
AU: Thanks so much to Ellenka, guys she just awesome and awesome, it's crazy. Well, I have a bit of reviews, but a huge number of views so I know people read, so I guess that's good. All is well, I will continue. Well a little fact about me is that I'm an American 14 year old girl, very much enticed into the Hunger Games fandom! So sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, editing and revising are non existent to me, honestly.
I adore you all!