eh heh!! So I'm updating a wee bit faster now, the reviews are inspiring guys!! Keep em coming.. I wuv them soooo much

and as much as I love hearing yer comments, lol, telling me you want certain people to end up together won't sway me. -heart- I'm only saying this because I got a review telling me not to do gaaxdei because dei went with Sasori.. See.. I hate Sasori, just because I can.. and another review (which got deleted..) telling me the person would quit reading if Gaara didn't end up with Naruto.. Don't dare tell me that, or you'll get blocked from reviewing.. and I'll have to turn off anonymas reviews...

Okay, now that I'm done complaining about bitchy reviews, ON WITH THE FIC!!

Alright, now one reviewer I think just pushed the envelope.. Do not, not, not, not, send me death threats via reviews.. if you want to send me death threats, email to me, not review it.. my email is narutonoob66 (at) yahoo . com without the spaces and the (at) is the at sign..

there? happy? Don't review me death threats, and if you don't like my fics, flame me through email also, I don't want your shit reviews in my quota...

Thanks for your cooperation, and please, no smoking in the lobby.

Note for CHERRYCOLALOLA!!!!: EVEN THOUGH YOU SAID DEDICATIONS WEARN'T NECCESARY, THIS CHAPTER GOES OUT TO YOU!! THANKS FOR THE AWESOME REVIEWS, I LOVE THEM!!

This chapter is where things start to get really messed up, note the title. this are about to take a turn for the worse

It hurts more than you think: Chapter 11: Paint my mistakes into a pretty picture

Sasuke felt so warm, he didn't want to move. The body curled up against him felt so good, he hadn't been this comfortable in months. But he wanted to get lost in the blue eyes, like he used to, he wanted to kiss the tan lips, like he used to. He was about to wake the other, and do something else he used to do only in the mornings, when a sratching noise from the other side of the room distracted him.

He looked over, seeing his roommate seated on a stool with a canvas in front of him. Sasuke watched as the shorter-haired teen moved his charcoal across the blank plain, occasionaly smudging his fingers over the dark lines.

Steadily, Sasuke had drifted back to sleep, Naruto's breathing lulling him into slumber. The next time he woke, Naruto was gone, and his roommate was in the shower. The pale teen sat up, the first thing catching his eye was that picture his roommate was working on last time he'd been awake.

The finished piece was what appeared to be a glass heart shattered to pieces on the floor, a pale, faceless figure was sitting in the corner with a piece of the broke glass held do his arm. Blood poured from a wound the glass had created.

He furrowed his brows, and as he was about to climb from the bed, Naruto pushed open the bedroom door, waltzing in as if him and Sasuke hadn't made up only a few hours ago.

"I'm not going to class today." Naruto announced, climbing to the other side of Sasuke's bed and laying down.

"..Okay?"

"And neither are you."

The Uchiha's brow twitched out of habit. "Why not?"

"Because.. I wanna stay in here with you all day." The blonde answered. He lowered his voice. "Like we used to.. when we skipped days just to sleep, or make out.. or.. do other stuff." Naruto blushed, and Sasuke wondered if the blonde had always blushed when sex was mentioned. Even if it was indirectly.

"I'll call him today."

The blush dissappeared, and Naruto slowly nodded. He understood what the dark-haired boy meant.

Indirect. Sasuke didn't know what it meant, but he knew that's what he was. He was indirect about things, because he liked to smirk when people didn't quite catch what he meant. And he wanted to kiss the blonde when he blushed.

Sasuke didn't know what he was doing, but his hands were in blonde hair, turning so he could hover over the other teen. His lips pressed against tan ones, his dark eyes shut. He bit the blonde's bottom lip hard, his knee slipping in between Naruto's legs to knudge and hopefully arouse him.

A soft whimper escaped the other, and Sasuke felt blood trickle into his mouth. He pulled back, this thumb gently rubbing over the small wound on the blonde's lip. "I'm sorry.. sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."

Naruto smiled, the kind of 'its okay' smile, cupping Sasuke's hand in his own and kissing his palm.

Sasuke wondered when he'd became so much more dominate. He hadn't used to be like that, he used to be the one that blushed, he used to the the one smiling at apologies, and he used to be so.. submissive. He wondered if Gaara had done this to him, he wondered if Naruto would expect him to be the same, he wondered if being filled like he had used to be when they were lovers would feel as good. Maybe he'd be the one doing the filling this time, he'd done if before, and had blushed like a school girl about it. But he'd dominated Gaara, and it had felt good. Would Naruto want to switch roles in their relationship? God, it was all so confusing..

Gently, Sasuke pulled his hand away, using his other to pull the blankets over them. Still hovering over the blonde, the pale teen let his hand slip into the band of Naruto's pants, pushing his way past the boxers to teasingly brush the other's length. "I can do this, huh?"

"Go ahead.." Naruto mumbled, wiggling his legs apart to give his love better access. It had been forever since he'd been touched, and it have actual meaning on both parts. He felt himself begin to harden under the Uchiha's gentle caresses, and he couldn't help but lift his hips in encouragement.

Sasuke took a deep breath, he felt shy again.. Like he used to feel. Maybe that should have told him that there was something about Naruto, if he could make him feel so blushy about something he'd done a hundred times before. But he ignored his blush and shyness, smoothing his thumb over the forming arousal.

He let his fingers wrap around the length, gently moving his hand up and down a few times, earning himself a throaty groan from the blonde. He missed the sounds Naruto used to make in his ear while slamming into him, he missed the furrow of the others brows when he was concentrated on getting his job done, he missed how cuddly the blonde was after sex and how he used to bury his face in his pale neck.

Sasuke watched the thin blonde brows furrow, and he watched as Naruto tried to press his back further into the mattress. He liked to watch Naruto, just his expression made the Uchiha aroused. The pale teen pumped the hard member a little roughly a few times, just to watch the reaction.

Naruto pressed his hips upward, thrusting into Sasuke's smooth hand; his eyes closed as he bit his lip. "Sasuke.." He panted, his voice urging the other to move faster.

And Sasuke was going to comply, until the bathroom door opened. Rolling his eyes and sending Naruto an apologetic glance, Sasuke carefully extracted his hand from the other's pants.

Sai seemed to have notice, and quirked a brow at the scene. "Were you two... doing something?" He smirked, a perverted gleam in his eye.

"Yes.." Naruto started, glaring at his friend. "We were, and I was enjoying it.. so, if you'de kindly leave..."

"Oh, by all means, continue. I'll barely notice."

The blonde glared harder. "Pervert.."

Sasuke glared too, before leaning down to whisper into Naruto's ear. "We'll finish when he leaves, okay?" His breath tickled the younger teen's tan ear, and the blonde nodded a few times.

-

Gaara absently rolled his lip ring into his mouth, huffing a bit of air out of his lips to get the bit of pink bangs out of his eyes. He'd gotten bored the other day, and decided he'd remake himself. He'd gotten the opposite corner of his lip pierced, and had finally bought a new ring for the other corner, instead of that damned retainer. And some stupid voice in his head had convinced him to dye his bangs pink. What a shocker.. Blood red hair, and hot pink bangs. He could already hear what Sasuke would say..

But he wasn't too worried about that, what he was worried about however, was if the woman in the office would give him a visitors pass or not. He felt like going to visit all his old teachers, and 'Ruka too. Iruka had been a shoulder for him the last month he'd gone there.

Finally, the woman handed him the pass, and without a thank you, Gaara made his way down the halls and towards the brunette man's office, entering that without knocking.

"Hey, you got a few minutes?"

Iruka looked up, preparing to tell a student he was busy, and he'd be avalible in an hour, though he quickly smiled when he noticed who it was. "Of course I do. How have you been?"

"Pretty good. I applied for another job yesterday.. Didn't get it."

"I'm sorry, did they tell you why?"

Gaara sighed. "No, but I have an idea its my pink and red hair.. and my tattoe.." (1)

"I see.. Maybe you could die it a natural color."

The red-head shrugged, finally choosing to flop into that stupid squishy chair he vaugly remembered sitting in once a year or so back, when Sasuke had first moved in. "I do love, Sasuke though.." Gaara stated, randomly, remembering how he'd requested a new roommate, and how he'd just slept with Deidara. "I didn't sleep with Deidara because I loved him.. It just happened."

If Iruka hadn't been a therapist, he would have thought this kid was unusually random. But this type of conversation was normal, coming from Gaara at least. Something small could trigger a memory, and the boy would be spilling every detail of what was bothering him. "Go on.."

"It was a party, we we're both drunk.. I didn't have the nerve to tell him no." Gaara paused, he couldn't tell Sasuke.. And Sasuke would hate him when he found out.. Because he would eventually, that was just how things worked. "I think I wanted to tell him no.. I mean, I've know Deidara for less than a week, and I've already slept with him. It took me and Sasuke a year or more.." The pale teen picked up the same teddy bear he'd picked up that one time, and hugged it tight to his chest. Gaara choked on a sob he hadn't known had built up into his throat, only now did he feel the tears burning their way down his cheeks. "I've probably just fucked up the only good thing I had going.."

"Whose to say its messed up already? Maybe Sasuke will forgive you.."

The pale teen shook his head, blinking out tears in his eyes. "He won't forgive me.. I know him, he'll hate me forever and he'll go back to Naruto.." He drew his knees up to his chest, squishing the bear slightly. In a way, Gaara felt like this bear, squished with a decision. He could tell Sasuke, and only hope his lover would be forgiving. Or he could keep it a secret, and only hope Sasuke wouldn't find out. "And I won't.. I won't have him anymore.. and it'll be just like it was before. I'll be by myself, and nobody will care about me.. and I'll be stupid again... And I'll really stupid again, and quit at life.. and.." He stopped, sniffing hard and pushing the bear out from between his chest and knees. Violently wiping the tears from his face, Gaara growled in frustration. "Can I go talk to him now? And come back here later?"

"Sure, let me write you a pass.. er. Nevermind, I forgot you graduated. I'll see you later, I guess."

Gaara pushed himself up from the squishy chair, wiping his face again. "Thanks Iruka.. I'll be back in a few hours." The boy turned and left the office, again his palm running over his cheeks. He wondered if his encounter with Sasuke would be this emotionally taxing.

Before he knew it, he was standing in front of Sasuke's door, his fingers were touching cold metal, and the door was open. He peeked inside, seeing his lover sitting in front of his computer, fingers working swiftly across the keyboard. (2) (3)

"Sasuke.." And again, before he knew it, he was seated on the younger teen's lap, their lips pressed together and hands roaming.

Sasuke couldn't stop himself from kissing Gaara, and he didn't stop the stirring in his stomach. That same damned stirring that sprung up when he kissed Naruto.. He didn't know why it stirred, but he hated it.. He only really wanted to stir for Gaara, now at least. God, he was so confused..! He loved kissing Naruto, but.. he loved kissing Gaara.. Both brought out such a different side in him, why couldn't he just make up his mind? Maybe he should dump the both of them and look for someone else.. Or maybe he should just become asexual..

But.. "Gaara, I think.. Do you think we're working out?.."

The red-head frowned, his hands falling limp in their laps. "Of course.. Why do you ask?" He could already feel his heart sinking, he just knew they were going to break up now. And all these years would have been a waste. He'd be crushed.. "No, wait.. Can I tell you something?"

Sasuke didn't verbally answer, just turned his head to the side to look down at the carpet. He hoped Gaara wasn't going to say how much he loved him, his heart would shatter knowing he'd been touching Naruto if he had to hear that.. But maybe it would be good for him.

The older teen went ahead and decided it would be easier just to blurt it out, it would be easier for both of them, he figured. "I slept with someone else.. But I was drunk, and I don't love him."

Sasuke's lids closed. "I kissed Naruto.. a few times.. was going to sleep with him.. Sai was in here, though.." The pale teen was a little sorry he didn't sleep with Naruto, now.. And he wasn't so sure it would be so hard to break up with Gaara now.

"No, but listen to me.. I love you, Sasuke.. I don't care if you kissed him, if you don't care that I slept with Diedara."

'Diedara..' The Uchiha opened his eyes, turning back to Gaara. "Diedara, huh? That's my brother's boyfriend.. still together, for all I know." Sasuke pushed his chair back, giving his lover a light tap, gesturing for him to get up. Once free from the chair, the pale teen made his way over to his bed, the other trailing not too far behind him. And they laid down together, as if they hadn't just confessed to each other their cheating.

And maybe they both wished they hadn't, and that they'de just kept it secret. But this wasn't about secrets.. It was about lies, and what not to do with them. The first thing being not to tell them. "I told Naruto I was going to break up with you today.." And the second being not to even think about telling one. "I don't wanna hurt either of you.."

"I understand.." Gaara drew in a deep, shakey breath. "Are you breaking up with me?"

"No." A pause, a really long one at that. "I'm not putting anyone else through this, I'll just tell Naruto I changed my mind.."

"But then you're hurting him.."

Sasuke couldn't understand why Gaara even cared if Naruto was hurting or not.. With what had happened at that one birthday party and all. But he wouldn't question it, Gaara was just that kind of person. "I know.. but.. just let me make my own decisions.."

He felt Gaara nod, and he didn't care that they both were falling asleep. Sleep would be good right now..

-

Naruto was jumping, screaming in Sai's ear about how cool it was that he'd finally won. Expecting Sai to make some excuse like 'my leg was sore' or something.. But the dark-haired boy didn't make to many excuses..

"I beat you, I beat you, hahaha-ha-haha!!"

"Big deal, Naruto.. Thats one versus what?... A million?"

"Do you have to stomp on my victory? Come on, Sai, be happy I won!!"

"Woohoo.. happy happy joy joy... Okay?"

Naruto frowned.. Sai was in a bad mood. He could tell.. "Talk to me.."

"No.."

"Over coffee?"

"I said 'no'.."

"I'll pay?"

Sai growled in frustration, already making his way out of the arcade. It wasn't fair for him to take out his bad mood on Naruto, but he couldn't help it. "Fine.. But I'm not drinking coffee.. I'll just talk on the ride home.."

Naruto shrugged, at least he was getting it out of him.. even if he didn't get to drink his coffee. But the problem would get out, Sai would feel better, and he could continue to brag about how he'd won. Even if he didn't get to drink his coffee.. again.

-

"Fired.. They fucking fired me.. Because I asked to work just five more hours a week.. I didn't even demand.. I asked.. fucking asked..!!"

Naruto was a bit scared for his life, he swore the car was on two wheels every turn the made. And the brakes screamed seemingly in pain every time the stopped. Naruto swore he could smell burned rubber. "I'm sorry.. Maybe we could both apply somewhere else. I could ask around and see where other people are working and what they get paid."

"Gee, thanks.. you'de do that for me?" Sarcasm overflowed from that sentence. "I don't want another fucking job.. No where else pays as good.. Dammit, my cars gonna get repo-ed to.."

"Why?"

The brakes where slammed, another stop light. "Jeez.. as if that doesn't fucking scream car notes right there, god dammit.. I have to pay for this thing yaknow.."

"Sorry, don't fucking scream at me.."

"Don't be such an idiot.. I'm still pissed off, too.. on a whole different fucking topic."

"And I'm still listening, dammit.."

Naruto didn't even notice they were in the parking lot of the school. Two in the morning, in a parking lot.. Boy, didn't that sound like a safe place to be..

"My flirting with you isn't mindless, you know.." Sai's voice was much less harsh, and a lot more quiet. Yet it still retained that same level of emotion, that same bit of pain. "I was hoping by now you would have noticed.."

And Naruto felt bad for this.. with what him and Sasuke had been doing.. The blonde was only just now noticing how much Sai really didn't flirt with him. And he just now noticed how he didn't mind it to much.. Damn, he was such a idiotic whore sometimes.. He knew Sai probably wanted a virgin.. But then again, the boy knew from the first day they met he wasn't a virgin, so if it had bothered him, he wouldn't have pursued.

Suddenly, Naruto felt lips press against his, he felt his seat belt being unfastened, and a weight settling on his thighs. Shit, Sasuke would have to get over himself. (4) His lips pressed back, and he didn't even stop Sai when he made to drag him into the back seat. Or when a palm pressed hard against his crotch and squeezed. In fact, he moaned a little.

"Please don't ask me to stop, Naruto.. I really need this.." The way he said it.. Naruto couldn't say no, he could hear the desperation in his voice. The need.. The hurt.

"I won't.. You can have me.." He whispered back, wiggling down into the seat a little. His legs spread open a bit, swallowing down his nerves as the other pulled down his zipper. He let himself be pulled up, his arms moving up over his head so his shirt could be removed.

(1) - Here, I was going to have Gaara tell Iruka about how he'd cut himself, instead of talking about his rejection to a job.. But, I didn't want to have to go through the same scene twice once we finally got down to Sasuke. I'm sure you understand how this makes the fic a little better. Iruka will also play a big part later in the mending of these relationships, I think.

(2) - Naruto had decided to go to class afterall, just until lunch though.

(3) - I took me hours to decide what I wanted to do with this part.. I was originally going to have Gaara walk in on Sasuke jerking Naruto off, like the two had planned. But I instead decided on this. Hope you guys are happy with my decision.

(4) Remember Naruto doesn't know about Gaara and Sasuke yet..

(A/N. Next chapter will have a lemon, I hope.. I mean, a really sour lemon. It should after all.. and when I get done with the fic, I'm thinking about rewriting it, doing the other things I had thought of, instead of what I did..)