Shout out to Stephenie Meyer who creates wonderful stories with wonderful characters that inspire me to write. These are hers with my own little twist.
Chapter 11
"I'm so glad that you are okay!" I held her tightly to me.
"Just a little shaken up." She sounded tired. "Dad? Did you call the forest rangers yet?" She pulled out of my arms and sat down. I winced.
"Ya," Byron handed us each a mug of hot chocolate. "They should be here in a minute."
"Why did you call the rangers?" I asked innocently.
"They're coming to look for that wolf I saw." Edyn's face paled and she shuddered involuntarily. "It was easily as tall as me. It was a strange reddish color, and it had piercing black eyes…" She stopped for a moment scrutinizing my face. "The strange thing is…it didn't even try to come at me." She paused again as if remembering something. "It almost looked…sad… I was scared and yet…I wasn't. I knew that it wouldn't hurt me, but then when it moved towards me…I screamed and ran." Again her gaze returned to my face. "I wonder why he didn't follow me?" I found myself fidgeting under her intense stare. Why was she staring at me like that? Had she noticed some similarity between the two parts of me?
"So it wasn't looking for food I guess," Byron surmised. "I wonder what it was doing this close to us?"
"Have there ever been wolves that close before?" I was curious. It wasn't like we were in a city or something where it would be totally abnormal.
"Oh, there have been plenty of wolves around here." He stroked his chin as he thought. "Never as close as this one was tonight though. They usually give us a wide berth, and we usually respect it as much as possible."
"Edyn," I walked over to her. I wanted to take her hand, but she tucked them deeply under her arms. I sighed. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes," she nodded. "I'm fine. Are you okay Jacob?"
I wanted to scream! How could she ask me if I was okay? I was not okay and it was her fault. It was her fault for being mad at me. It was her fault for going out in the woods alone. It was her fault for making me love her and then making me crazy for thinking that she didn't love me anymore. I was not okay, but I couldn't tell her that…not right now.
"Sure, sure." I looked at the floor so she couldn't see the anguish in my eyes. "I'm good."
When the rangers showed up, I left. I didn't know if I could handle hearing Edyn describe the wolf again. I walked slowly back to my cabin. It had felt good to have her in my arms for that fleeting moment, but it stung when she pulled away. Apparently I hadn't been forgiven yet. I wondered as I walked if I should head home. I had had a near miss in front of Byron, and I had scared Edyn. I saw the look in her eyes when she saw me. I heard the terror in her scream. Why did it seem like she was trying to convince herself that she hadn't been scared?
On top of everything else, I was concerned with what was going on back home too. I knew something was up even if they wouldn't tell me. If it was serious enough they would've had me come home… right? Maybe my emotions and the stress of fighting with Edyn were getting to me. Maybe it was nothing. I still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong though. I decided that I would call the first chance I got. I didn't want to have to leave with things the way they were between Edyn and me, but if they needed me at home, I'd go.
The next morning dawned bright and beautiful but extremely cold. I called Sam and again he assured me that I wasn't needed at home. It didn't take away the odd feeling in my stomach. I was irritating. Edyn didn't want me here, and they didn't want me there. I guess I just wasn't wanted. I made my way slowly to the lodge, not in any hurry to get there. I didn't want to be in Edyn's way. I was trying to give her space. She didn't even glance my way as I sat down at the counter. To Hell with waiting, I'd had enough.
"How long is this going to last?" I asked.
"What?" She acted innocent.
"This!" I pointed back and forth between the two of us. "You not talking to me. Acting like I don't exist!" Her face never changed. "If I don't exist then…maybe I should leave."
I pushed away from the counter and walked out into the frigid air. I was going home. I couldn't stay here any longer. I was just reopening wounds that had begun to heal. I had let a girl break me once, I wasn't about to let it happen again.
I was packing when it hit me…I was running away…again. When Bella had chosen Edward over me, I ran. Now, Edyn was angry with me…but I wasn't going to run. Not this time. I laid back and stared at the ceiling. I wanted to run. I wanted to run far away where no one could hurt me or vice versa.
I was hoping that Edyn would've come after me, tried to stop me or something. She had done nothing. Maybe the damage my "little" secret was causing was beyond repair. If I had been in her shoes, I would've chased her down and begged her to stay. If I were in her shoes…there was a novel idea. I tried to picture what I would feel like if I were her. I knew that I would feel exactly the same way…hurt and betrayed. What would I want me to do to make it better? I had given her flowers and that hadn't worked. I had tried to talk to her, but, she didn't want that. What was I supposed to do?
I knew what she wanted, but I couldn't do it. I had gotten around the injunction once. I knew there was no way to do that again without severe repercussions. Sam would kill me, literally, if I did that again. What was a guy to do? Byron said to give her time, but I was wondering if time wasn't a bad idea. It felt like the more time she had, the farther away from me she grew.
"AUGH!" I yelled out loud to the room. I kicked my bag to the floor in anger, its contents spilling on the floor. I bent to pick up the mess when I spotted an envelope under my door. I hadn't seen it when I came in, and I hadn't heard anyone at the door…
I tore it open in one fluid movement. It was simple: "I need to see you, Edyn."
My heart hammered in my chest. She finally wanted to see me! What if this wasn't what I thought it was? What if she was going to tell me goodbye? The sudden ache in my chest was debilitating. Could I handle what she was going to tell me…good…or bad? There was only one way to find out. I walked quickly to the lodge hoping that I could handle whatever waited for me.
"Hey," I smiled nervously. "You wanted to see me?"
"That was fast!" She laughed nervously. "Do you mind if we take a walk?"
This couldn't be good. "Sure." I tried to smile.
We walked in silence on the path that led to Jacob's Lake. With every step we took my heart plummeted. Edyn was deep in thought and so I waited. I was totally unprepared for what happened next.
"Jake!" She stopped and threw her arms around me. Her body trembled as she pulled me closer to her. I reached down and touched her face drawing it up to look at me. I looked carefully into her deep blue eyes gauging her mood. Tears spilled down her cheeks and she laughed nervously. "Do you think that I am a total jerk?" She tried to look down.
"No," my breath came out in a gush. "I'm so sorry Edyn."
She blushed deeply. "I threw your flowers away…"
"I know," I pulled her close to me.
"You know?" She stepped back to look at my face.
"I was there," I smiled, enjoying the shock on her face. "I was watching you through the window waiting to come in and sweep you off your feet and then…" She moaned, burying her face in my chest.
"Are you really leaving?" She looked up with sad eyes.
"I don't know," I shrugged. "I guess that depends on you…"
She looked at me with pursed lips. I could see the battle raging in her eyes. Part of her wanted me to leave the angry, hurt part. The other part, the part that loved me, wanted me to stay. I hoped I could play on the part that loved me. I leaned down and gently pressed my lips to hers. I felt her soften under my hands.
"Jake," she whispered. "I want you to stay but…" I kissed her again. If this is what it took then I would keep kissing her until she caved. "Jake, please. I can't do this…"
"Edyn," I kept my face close to hers. "There is something we have to get straight." She nodded. "I Jacob Black love you. Do you understand that?" Again she nodded. "It will always be you! I want you to love me too, but if that isn't possible…"
"Jake," she pulled free of my grasp looking at me cautiously. "We can't have a relationship if there are secrets between us."
"Edyn," I looked deep into those beautiful eyes. "Haven't you ever had a secret that you couldn't tell anyone?" She looked down at her hands. I took that as a yes. "Please understand that I want to tell you…but there are…rules…I have a loyalty to my tribe. I was sworn to secrecy even before I was born."
"But," her voice was barely audible. "Bella knows."
How was I going to make her understand? "Well when I told Bella, I didn't know it was true. I thought that it was just superstitious nonsense." I watched her face carefully. "I got into a lot of trouble over that and Bella nearly got killed herself for knowing…" I stared out past Edyn remembering the day Paul found out Bella knew. I shivered despite myself. I looked down to see Edyn staring up at me eyes wide and burning with curiosity. "When the time is right, I will tell you…I promise."
"Jake," she spoke quietly. "I trust you. If you think that eventually you can trust me," she sighed. "Then I will try patiently to wait."
"You don't want me to leave?" I was nearly breathless.
"No." She smiled slyly. "What I do want is for you to get over here and kiss me…now!"
"Enough said!" I grabbed her and kissed her not ever wanting to let go.
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