This chapter marks the end of Part 1. Chapters 12-18 are Part 2 and Chapters 19-23 is the final part.
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The usual disclaimer applies. Phenixgirl - rainbows.
Final Heat by Oldest Man
Chapter 11
Beckett gazed around the 'cottage' and sighed. This lifestyle was so alien to anything she'd known and if she was really honest with herself, it was intimidating.
Alexis nudged her and pointed to a hallway going off the main room and whispered, "My room is down there. He insisted that I take the master bedroom since I'll 'soon be living in Spartan drabness' at Princeton and he wanted me to know a little luxury before then."
They both snickered at how typically 'Castle' a gesture it was.
"Dad's is down the other hallway. The guest bedroom is beside his. Each bedroom has a bath and it's fully stocked. He's out on the porch. Kate, we talked about this while we were eating – well, he talked and pushed his salad around – and you're going to have to be very careful and very explicit with your explanation. I'm going to bed. Good luck."
Kate was surprised and grateful when Alexis pulled her into a one-armed hug and then walked quietly to her room. Sometimes she wondered who had raised whom in the Castle household and just how he would cope with being alone once Alexis went off to college and Martha now had her own place across town.
'He won't be alone if I can help it.' The thought gave her strength to do what she had to do. As with Josh, she was very uncomfortable with confrontation on a personal level and these would be the most personal and confrontational moments of her life.
She took a few steps and stopped. The noise her sandals made on the sanded hardwood floors sounded loud even to her so she toed them off and walked barefoot across the room to the large open French doors and stopped to survey the battleground before stepping out onto the porch.
The 'porch' was larger than her apartment and was more like a Victorian idea of an outdoor sitting room furnished with wicker furniture and large comfortable cushions and pillows. He hadn't turned on any of the lamps, preferring to sit in the comfortable darkness and watch the surf.
He was sitting in the corner of a large loveseat and she could tell by the nodding of his head that he was fighting off sleep. It had been a stressful day for the both of them and she considered just leaving him as she found him and slipping away to the guest bedroom and dealing with the mess in the morning after a night's sleep but dismissed it as cowardice.
She quietly walked up behind him and bent and put her arms around his neck and whispered "Rick, I'm so sorry about everything that's happened today and I want to explain things and take away all the hurt you must be feeling. Can we just talk, please?" Her lips found his scar and she allowed her lips to rest lightly at its edge near his eye.
She felt the muscles bunch up in his shoulders as he was preparing to get up and Kate whispered almost fiercely, "No, Rick. We're done running away from this. I have to explain what happened. I won't try and justify what was done, just explain it and then either we'll talk or I'll leave in the morning and you can get on with your life. Please give us a chance?"
"Ha! I told ya she'd show up somehow. So stick that in your ear, ya blue ape, and go join the other gorillas of my past in the mists."
"Castle, are you drunk? 'Blue ape? Gorillas of your past?' Maybe this had better wait until you sober up a bit – a lot – c'mon, let's get you to your room. We'll talk in the morning."
She was secretly thrilled by his comment to the figment of his imagination. Maybe things would work out.
"No, Katherine Beckett, Detective, NYPD, we'll talk now. Well, okay, you talk, I listen – for a change."
He stood up and grabbed her hand and dragger her from around the loveseat and into a loose embrace. "I want to walk on the beach. The sea air will help clear my head. Join me, Kate, please?"
He looked 5 years old for a second and then the age rushed back over him when she didn't respond immediately.
"Can we just stay here, like this, for a few more seconds? I've been Jonesing all day without my fix and this is what I need. Just a few more seconds and then we'll walk and talk. Don't promise to be quiet, Rick. It's not in your nature."
"Ah, Kate, is there something you're not telling me? Jonesing? A fix?"
"Yeah, I'm an addict, Rick, and I need my stuff like I need air. I've become addicted to you, Castle, and incredible as it is, it's the damned truth. I've never needed people around me before but you and your family are like a narcotic and you're the most addictive of them all."
"Oh. Good. I mean, that you're not – I'll shut up. Go ahead, take what you need, Kate."
A few minutes later she sighed and then giggled. "I'm good. Let's take that walk. I have a lot of explaining to do so you'll have to be patient and not interrupt – "
"I can do that."
"Yeah, I can see that already. C'mon, Castle, it's been ages since I strolled on the beach in the moonlight with a man I love. Come to think of it, I've never – "
"Quit procrastinating, Beckett, or I'll start off alone and allow my vivid and lurid imagination to conjure up all kinds of juicy reasons why you've suddenly fled the Big Apple. Um, what about Doctor Do-Gooder? I was serious, Kate. If you're still engaged, if you haven't broken it off with him, you might as well hit the guest room right now and leave in the morning."
"Is that a threat, Castle? After I've flown how many miles, gone through customs AND been groped by a uniformed TSA woman with tattoos and – "
"Cut to the chase, Kate. Yes or no. Are you still engaged and does he know his new status of 'single'? Yes or no."
"Yeah, he knows. There's no way he could have mistaken what I said for anything else but what it was. Now, if you're finally through interrupting me, Castle, let's walk and I'll talk and you'll listen, okay?"
The sky was a mix of reds and yellows when the couple walked back into the cottage, holding hands and looking tired but happy. Kate's story had taken almost an hour and a half to tell, peppered with interruptions and questions. Surprisingly, Castle had gotten quieter and quieter as her tale unfolded and towards the end he said nothing at all.
"You're awfully quiet, Castle. I can hear the gears in your head whirring and clicking. What's going on in that head of yours?"
"I'm trying to come to grips with my own fears and anxieties. I've been courting you for 3 years and it's always been one baby step forward and a huge couple of steps back. I want this so badly, Kate, and I'm afraid to say anything or do anything because I might screw it up."
"Hey, Rick, we're together and once the tour is over, I'll take leave and we can go away someplace together and get back on track. I understand why you have to do what you've planned and I respect it but I'm scared to death of you going into the combat areas. Can't you stay back in a base or fort or whatever they have and just visit the hospitals there?"
"Kate, my next series requires background I don't have. I want to write about real people and their struggles and triumphs. We owe these people so much and no one, well, okay, people who've been there do, pay more than lip service to 'support the troops'. It's one thing to read about it but if I'm going to write it, I have to know what they go through, what they do."
"Okay, but do you have to go out there with them? Can't you just buy a few rounds in the club and listen and take notes?"
"Kate, it's my job. It's what I do. I have to do this. I owe these people for keeping my family and you and me safe. Don't make it any harder on me than it already is, my love. I never tell you how to do your job – well, not really."
"I don't like it one bit. But I understand why you're going to do it. I just wish I could be there watching your back."
Castle snickered and she popped him on the arm. "What was that snicker for, buster?"
"I was just imagining you and I in a sleeping bag in the desert trying to make love quietly while surrounded by 20 or 30 soldiers. Sorry, my mind wanders when I get tired and I think of the most stupid things."
"I don't think the idea of us making love is stupid, Castle. Let's go to bed then, Rick. No handcuffs this time. No reason, right?"
"None at all. The guest bedroom is – oof! What the hell, Kate?"
"I didn't come all this way to sleep in another room. We're both tired and other than kissing like we did on the beach, neither of us is up for some serious loving. Tomorrow night, Castle, I'll rock your world. Tonight, er, this morning, all I want to do is crawl into bed beside you and be held until I wake up. Okay? And we have to be in the same damned room to do it."
"Beckett, how many days of vacation do you have accrued?"
"Why? Uh, I guess, maybe 65 or 70. I hardly ever go on vacation."
"Call Roy and take them all. The three of us can see Europe and then you and Alexis can fly back together. Mother will get her set up at Princeton and we'll all be back together at Christmas. What do you say?"
"I brought two days' clothes, Rick. I have a job, responsibilities, I can't just – oh, what the hell, yeah, I'll call the Captain first thing in the morning and see what I can work out. I just – Rick – you're rich and I feel like I'm a gold digger. I don't have the money – "
"Y'know, Kate, for a brilliant cop, you sure are stupid sometimes. Marry me and all this, all I have, will be yours. No prenup needed. This is your one and done and I want to share everything I have with you for the rest of my life. So no more talk of gold digging. You made me several million on the Heat series and Kate – I meant it. Courtship is over. Wooing is done. "
She kissed him gently and leisurely. "Castle, I like the way you think but no, I won't marry you 'on the fly'. I want it done right, in the City with all our friends and family. Nothing elaborate but it's what I want. Okay?"
"Anything you want, anything I have, it's all yours. Let's get to bed. Alexis will be pounding on the door demanding an update soon enough.
"Let's sleep and then talk. I want to include Alexis. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for her Castle stubbornness. You raised an amazing daughter. And she raised an amazing father, too. Sleep, Rick. We have all the time in the world to plan to perfection, remember?"