Hindsight is Twenty Twenty, Chapter 11

"I know that this is a little out of the blue, but I would like to officially welcome you to Hogwarts" The woman said, seemingly unaware of Scotland's violently twitching right eye and Minty's flabbergasted jaw-drop. "Typically we would have all been introduced during the last couple of Staff Meetings before the School year began in August, but seeing as you were absent for those meetings we're doing it now, very briefly." The Herbology Professor said with a kind smile. "Don't worry about that though, it's completely alright to take time off in case of an illness in the family."

It took Minty a moment before she realized what exactly Pomona Sprout meant by 'illness in the family'.

Apparently, that was the excuse Scotland and England came up with for their multiple extended trips to the hospital after England had decided that his most loyal and faithful magical companion would be a better teacher to all of the little impressionable children than he would be.

Over the course of August, Scotland had four different flower pots fall from three stories high and smash onto his head, and he had been hit by England's car no less than thirteen times. Minty was including when Wales backed his tractor over Scotland's foot because England bribed him with some Sheep stuffies. England on the other hand had been electrocuted via toaster plus bathtub six times, pushed into an angry hornets nest once, and stabbed hard enough with a spoon to land him in over night care in the hospital twice.

Minty covered her snort with her paw. An illness in the family indeed.

"Our Deputy Headmaster Minerva McGonagall would be in charge of introducing you to the staff and such" Pomona continued, "however she is preoccupied at the moment. You see there was an incident on the train that you may or may not have heard of involving a couple of her Lions…" The woman that had approached Scotland and Minty trailed off, as if she were too busy imagining the whole event that took place on the Hogwarts express rather than finishing her sentence.

"-Anyway," She continued before the silence got too long, "The Staff of Hogwarts would like to formally welcome you as the new History of Magic Professor. Please, Mr. Kirkland, Take a seat." She finished with a wave of her hand towards the Staff Table.

Scotland didn't budge or say a word. No matter how many times Minty pinched or squeezed his cheek in order to try to prompt Scotland into moving.

"You are Arthur Kirkland, aren't you?" The woman asked when Scotland didn't respond, awkwardness creeping into her tone.

"No." The Nation finally answered. "Do not call me by that name ever again." He pushed past the professor and took a seat down at the table, right next to one Remus Lupin.

"Hey Allistor-"

"I'm not in the mood." Scotland interrupted the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor as a metaphorical rain cloud began forming over his head.

Remus blinked his eyes in surprise, "Oh. Ok." He said, and backed off.

Minty cautiously turned her head back around where the woman who had mistaken Scotland for England stood, not quite comprehending what just happened. Minty winced in sympathy. The Flying Mint Bunny stretched her wings out and whirled off of her place on his shoulder. Not that Scotland noticed. He was too busy being angsty.

"I am so sorry about him," Minty apologized to the flabbergasted woman, "He just really doesn't react well to anyone calling him Arthur Kirkland. It's a pride thing."

To the woman's credit, he only seemed to stare at the Flying Mint Bunny a few more moments than strictly necessary before he straightened himself out again.

"Forgive me, We were told that a man named Arthur Kirkland was coming to take over the position of the History of Magic Professor. If he's not Mr. Kirkland, then who is he?"

Minty smiled sweetly, "That's his brother Allistor Kirkland."

Realization suddenly dawned on the small professor. "Ah, I see. I am terribly sorry, I didn't realize that you were the assistant professor." she said, apologizing to Scotland. Scotland just huffed in response and continued his angry silence.

"Don't worry," Minty reassured the distraught woman. "He won't take it personally. Come on, let's sit where we can talk more comfortably Mrs. Sprout"

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea," Pomona said as she beckoned Minty to follow her. "You know, I don't think I caught your name,"

"Oh," The Flying Mint Bunny giggled into her paw as the two sat down at the table. "My name is Minty! It's nice to meet you Mrs. Sprout!"

"Likewise Miss. Minty." The head of Hufflepuff smiled, but then her lips melted into a frown. "I hope I didn't make a bad first impression with Mr. Kirkland."

"Don't stress yourself about it." Minty said with an exuberant flap of her wings.

"That still doesn't clear up the issue," A tall, soft spoken man wearing a pitch black robe said as he loomed across the table.

Minty couldn't help but think that he had a sort of gothic vibe to him with all of that black.

As if reading her mind the man looked over at her with a scold marring his face, causing Minty to let out a small laugh. Yep, definitely an emo bean with a face like that.

"If this is Allistor Kirkland," the man said, his eyes shifting away from Minty and towards Scotland, "and not Arthur Kirkland, then where is the real History Professor."

"Severus!" Scolded another Staff member that Minty could not recognize from just a few seats away, "He's probably just a little late. I'm certain he'll be here soon."

"Um, actually," Minty spoke up bashfully, "Arthur's not coming. I'm supposed to take his place."

The entire table collectively fell silent and stared at the Flying Mint Bunny that hovered just above the seat in between Scotland and Pomona Sprout.

"Of course," The goth man, Severus, deadpanned, "The repulsive rabbit talks."

"You got that right Sir Emolotte, and she never shuts up." Scotland said, speaking up for the first time since his case of mistaken identity.

Severus looked about ready to throttle Scotland.

"Scottie…" Minty said in warning. "Don't be a meanie, be a beanie."

The Nation scoffed, "I don't even know what that's supposed to mean."

Before anyone could say anything else, a very very very short man suddenly walked passed the staff table carrying an old, worn hat.

Remus leaned over and whispered into Scotland's ear, "That's Flitwick over there. It looks like the Sorting Ceremony is about to begin."

Author's Note:

Yooooooo we get an introduction to the staff! Do you guys think that they were well enough in character? Because I am really not used to writing any of the professors (other than Professor McGonagall because she is a badass) so if you guys think that Professor Sprout or Snape were weird then please let me know and I'll fix it.

Question time! This is more of a maintenance based question for this story, but what days do you guys want this story to be updated? Right now I'm on a schedule of posting a new chapter every Tuesday and Friday until further notice, but do you guys want to change that so it's every Wednesday and Saturday? Or back to back updates on the weekends? Or any other combination? Or is the current schedule of every Tuesday and Friday fine? I will still be posting a new chapter on Tuesday August 1st regardless of public opinion, but after that I'm open to changes. I just want to make it a goal for myself to post a new chapter for this story twice a week at least until school starts for me (at that point it's going to be silent on my end until November).

Thank you all for reading my story and I strongly encourage you to leave a review if you liked it. Reviews are my motivation to get chapters written up after all! Have a good night (Or day, depending on when you are reading this :P)

Snowy-Maplette