August, 2015

"Just two weeks left!" Kurt exclaimed clearly not even trying to hide his excitement. His blue eyes were wide open and full of life while his hands kept flying in front of his face gesturing vividly.

Blaine took a sip of his hot tea and smiled brightly, still not quite able to believe than only in two short weeks he we was going to see Kurt face to face. Once again he was going to be able to breathe in his smell and feel his hair tickling his face during a hug. He would see the light flicker in his eyes and the wind mess up his hair.

"I'm already packed." Blaine said honestly looking over at his open suitcase which was lying on the bed. Everything was already set. There was even a bed for Robert at Kurt's apartment. It was a real miracle that Amanda wasn't mad at Kurt for bringing his friend with a child into their apartment.

Blaine just hoped that everything with the little boy was going to go smoothly and without any major problems. He didn't know if Robert was going to easily get used to the big city. He was also worried that he wouldn't be able to handle everything on his own. Of course Kurt kept saying that he was going to help Blaine with everything but the hazel-eyed boy didn't want to make his best friend deal with his problems. Despite that he had to admit that he would accept all the help he was going to receive. There was no way that he would survive without his help.

Blaine knew that he would have to find a job and start making money if he wanted to be able to support both himself and Robert. Of course Pamela promised that she would help him as much as she could but Blaine was an adult and he didn't want her to constantly pay for his expenses.

He had a lot of doubts about going to New York. He didn't know how his mother would deal with being constantly alone after living for year and a half with not only her son but also her grandchild who could make the whole house shake from all the noises. But Blaine was more than sure that Pamela was a strong woman and sooner or later she was going to adjust to living on her own again. Maybe she would even find herself a guy. Blaine could only hope for that.

He was happy that he got into the college again and this time Blaine was determined to graduate and make both his mother and son proud. He had to do something with his life and moving to New York was the first step on his way to achieve his dreams. Blaine knew that it was going to be awesome but also difficult and challenging. He was more than ready to face every obstacle that was going to stand on his way.

"I can't wait to see you again." Kurt said bouncing and grinning like an idiot. "We will have so much time together. I will show you all the places I've discovered during the last year and a half. I will show you all the clubs and introduce you to all the amazing people. You'll love it."

If Blaine could he would listen to Kurt for hours and hours without ever getting tired of it. Watching him being so excited about something felt like listening to the most beautiful music. "I'm sure I will." Blaine said even though he knew he wouldn't have enough time to do all of these things that Kurt was talking about. "It's going to be weird to see all these people at the university who are now two years ahead of me." Blaine knew that the students and professors that he had met during his short stay in New York were now going to look at him differently, as if he was a failure.

"You shouldn't care about them." Kurt said clearly sensing Blaine's dark thoughts. "You are important. Not them."

Blaine smiled softly. "I know. Thank you."

"For what?" Kurt asked furrowing his eyebrows in question and smiling at the same time.

"For everything." Blaine said shrugging. "It's nice to know that someone besides my mother still believes in me."

"Sebastian still believes in you as well." Kurt said cheerfully unaware that even the mere mention of his name was able to bring Blaine into a very dark place. He hadn't talked to Sebastian since Robert's birthday and despite the fact that Blaine still was mad at him for trying to force him into doing something against himself it was killing him that they weren't in touch anymore. Blaine would often hope that despite all the hurtful words and the silence Sebastian would appear out of nowhere as usual and spend an amazing day with him and Robert.

But once Blaine was in New York Sebastian's sudden visit would probably be out of question. Kurt seemed to notice that something was wrong as his smile faded and he raised his eyebrows in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Blaine lied smoothly not wanting his best friend to worry without a reason. He would tell him everything once he was in New York. "I just remembered that I promised my mom that I would make dinner for her and she's going to be home really soon so I've gotta go."

"Oh, alright." Kurt said smiling slightly. "I will call you tomorrow."

"Okay, see you soon."

Kurt's smile widened. "Very soon."

Blaine smiled at his best friend one more time and logged off the Skype. He closed shut his laptop and stood up from the bed to go downstairs. He looked over at the walls noting how bare they looked. There were still posters of Blaine's high school celebrity crushes but the pictures of Robert, Kurt and Sebastian were already gone. Everything had been packed packed since Blaine couldn't wait to leave so much that he kept thinking about his departure constantly.

If he could he would take Pamela with him but the woman loved this town too much and she would never agree to move to a big city no matter how much she loved her son and wanted to be with him. Luckily she understood that Lima was not the place where Blaine belonged and she wanted him to be just happy.

Blaine checked on Robert who was sleeping peacefully in his crib and walked downstairs to start making the dinner. He hadn't really promised to make it, but he figured that his mother would be happy to get home and find the dinner already made and waiting for her.

He decided to make Spaghetti, one of his mother's favorite dishes. The dinner was quickly ready so Blaine checked the time. He frowned upon realizing that Pamela should have been home twenty minutes ago. Blaine decided that she probably just went shopping so he sat down at the kitchen table and just wait for her.

When another thirty minutes passed Blaine dialed her number wanting to make sure that everything was alright. When the woman didn't answer Blaine started to get worried. What if something happened? What if there had been an accident? Blaine knew that his mother wasn't the best driver. He stood up from the chair and started pacing the kitchen back and forth not being able to stand still anymore. Minutes passed and she still wasn't home.

Blaine kept trying to explain to himself that his mom wasn't a child and she could take care of herself but he was scared and nervous nonetheless. His hands were cold and sweaty and his heart was beating loudly.

Only another hour later Blaine heard the sound of the key being turned in the lock. The door opened and Blaine heard his mother's soft footsteps. He sighed in relief feeling all the nervous energy leave his body making him feel tired but happy. Blaine walked into the hallway to greet his mother but when he saw her all the bad emotions came rushing back into his mind.

"Mom?" He questioned seeing her just stand in the middle of the room with her back straight and foggy eyes. When Blaine took a closer look he noticed that her eyes were puffy and full of unshed tears. "What's wrong?" He asked taking a few steps forward not really knowing how to act.

Pamela lifted up her gaze to meet Blaine's hazel eyes, so similar to her own. A sad smile appeared on her face as she walked over to him and wordlessly fell into her son's arms. Blaine embraced her tightly massaging her back in an attempt to make her feel at least a little bit better. To Blaine's horror his mother started sobbing. He didn't remember ever seeing his mother cry so much.

He led her into the living room and they sat down on the sofa next to each other. Blaine took her hand into his own massaging his thumb over her palm. "Mom? Could you explain to me what is going on?"

"I-I…" Pamela stuttered not meeting Blaine's gaze. "I went to the doctor today." She said softly. Blaine squeezed his mother's hand tightly hoping, praying and begging God that it wasn't what he feared it was. A few tears escaped her eyes but she quickly wiped them away with her free hand. "And it turned out that there is something wrong in my blood…something that is not supposed to be there." She paused for a moment. "So they ran some more tests and the results weren't good." She finally looked up at her son, looking like a small, lost child facing against the big, cruel world. "I have a cancer, Blaine." In that short moment his whole world fell apart. This short sentence caused a hurricane go through Blaine's body ripping a huge hole in his heart.

Blaine closed his eyes feeling the tears building up. But he couldn't show his mother how weak he was. He had to be strong for her. He gathered all his strength to look at his mother with determination and certainty. "This is not the end of the world, mom. I'm sure the doctors will give you the best treatment and everything will be alright." Blaine knew that his words were empty but he desperately needed them to come true.

"It's a brain cancer." Pamela whispered freezing the blood in Blaine's vines. "I need chemotherapy and if it works I will have a surgery." She paused for a moment. "But there is no guarantee that I will come out of this alive."

Blaine leaned forward and gathered his mother's tender body in his arms. "I will take care of you. Everything's going to be alright."

"But you're leaving in two weeks." She pointed out.

"I'm not." Blaine said instantly. "Do you seriously think that I would leave you here alone like this? No way. I would never forgive myself."

"Blaine, no." Pamela said but her voice was weak and sad. It looked like she had surrendered to the illness without any hope to get better. "New York has been your dream for as long as I can remember. You can't just let go of it for the second time. The third chance my never come."

"I don't care about New York. It's just a city." Blaine pointed out. "And I would never chose a city over my own mother. I'm staying. End of discussion. I need to make sure that you take care of yourself properly."

"What about Kurt though?" Pamela questioned turning her vulnerable eyes to him.

"He's an adult." Blaine said calmly. "He can take care of himself. Maybe he doesn't realize it yet but he really doesn't need to have me around to be happy."

"I don't know."

"But I do." Blaine said pulling away from her. "I love you, mom. We will get through it together."

An almost too small to notice smile appeared on Pamela's face as he studied her son's face. "I'm the luckiest woman alive to have such an amazing son. Thank you, Blaine."

"You have nothing to thank for." Blaine said taking both of her hands in his own. "It's just because I have such an awesome mother."

They just stared at each other for a couple of minutes, both scared but thankful for having each other.

Blaine spend the whole night lying awake in his bed and crying. He cried because there was a possibility that his mother was going to pass away sooner that she should but also because he wouldn't be reunited with Kurt. In that very moment be begged whatever higher force that could possibly be up there to send him Kurt and make him stay with him to get through everything together. Blaine craved his smile and touch. And the thought that he wouldn't be able to see him for at least another few months was burning him on the inside.

Why did it have to be like this? What had he done to deserve something like that? Why couldn't he just be happy for once? Why did his mother have to suffer since she was such a loving and compassionate woman? It was unfair. Blaine wanted to strangle with his bare hands whoever was responsible for this mess they were living.

In the morning, while Blaine was still lying in bed, not quite ready to face the reality, he grabbed his cell phone from the bedside table and dialed Kurt's number mentally preparing himself for what he was about to say. Kurt almost instantly answered the phone and greeted him cheerfully. "Hey, Blaine! What's up?"

Blaine's eyes filled with tears upon hearing that. He was jealous of Kurt because the blue-eyed boy didn't know what was going on yet. Blaine wanted to switch places with him and live without the knowledge that he had to now carry on his shoulders. "Kurt, I need to tell you something." Blaine began trying to remain calm and composed.

The other boy was quiet for a moment. "It doesn't sound good."

"It isn't good." Blaine said. He closed his eyes for a moment taking a deep breath and trying not to break down completely. "I am not going to New York."

"What? You can't do that to me right now! You pro-"

"Let me finish, Kurt." Blaine cut him off, scared that he might never say what he needed Kurt to know. "My mom's sick. I need to stay and take care of her."

"What?" Kurt's voice was now soft and flat. "What's wrong with her?"

"She has a brain cancer." He said quietly, as if saying these words out loud would make the situation seem too real. "It's not good and I am so scared."

"Oh, Blaine." Now Kurt sounded genuinely heartbroken. "I am so sorry. Do you want me to come to you?"

"No, stay there. I need to figure everything out on my own." Blaine lied. He didn't want anything more than to melt in Kurt's embrace but he also didn't want the other boy to carry something that was not his to carry.

"Can I do something to help then?" Kurt asked.

"Just…be there for me."