Over the next few months Kendall and James gradually got closer, yet Kendall was still sensing some mystery about James. Like there was something James wasn't telling him.

Any time Kendall mentioned high school, college, parents, or really anything from the past James would get quiet and not offer any information about himself. Kendall was wondering about all these things, and of course he wanted to know everything about James, but he knew it was sensitive and didn't want to push it.

Kendall was babysitting Oliver one night while James worked. Kendall himself was working, so he sat Oliver on the floor of his office with a coloring book and endless crayons so he would keep busy.

Oliver hummed softly to himself as he colored, lying on his stomach in his dinosaur pajamas.

"What's that song?" Kendall asked, typing away on his latest article.

"I don't know. I maked it up."

"You made it up," Kendall corrected. James never corrected Oliver's grammar, but as an English major, Kendall figured he should be the one to do it.

"Yeah."

After about half an hour Oliver got bored and climbed up in Kendall's lap.

"What are you writing?" he asked curiously.

"Something for the newspaper," Kendall answered. He was finished now, and was about to send it.

"A story?"

"Kind of. I used to write stories all the time," Kendall explained.

"What kind of stories?"

"Mysteries," Kendall explained, but realized Oliver didn't know what that meant. "Kind of like, something happens and you have to figure out who did it."

"That's boring."

"Sure is, buddy," Kendall sighed.

There was a knock at the door and Kendall picked Oliver up to go answer it. He wondered who the heck it could be… It was kind of late.

When he answered the door, he was stunned to see James standing there in his coat and scarf, eyeliner framing his eyes and glitter in his hair and cheekbones. He grinned and stepped in.

"You know you don't have to knock," Kendall chuckled, stepping back to let him in. Oliver insisted on being transferred to his dad's arms.

"It just feels weird to just walk into someone else's place," James shrugged. "A lady had a heart attack… After that the mood was pretty much ruined so we closed shop."

"Did you cause the heart attack?" I half-joked. I know, heart attacks are no joking matter. Luckily he thought it was funny and grinned at me as he leaned against the back of the couch.

"Maybe. I sort of was giving her a lap dance," James winked. "So I thought I'd take this booger off your hands- I know you're busy."

"Actually, I already sent my work in," I said.

"So you're free," James said brightly. "How about we put this one to bed and put in a movie?"

"I wanna watch the movie," Oliver whined.

"I dunno, Ol. It's late."

"Let him watch. Look- he's not tired at all," Kendall winked, both he and James knowing that Oliver would be out like a light in minutes. Because of that, Kendall chose a more adult movie from his collection.

As a matter of fact, Oliver didn't even make it long enough to see any of the movie. He had some popcorn and fell asleep sprawled out on the couch before James and Kendall even sat down.

"Don't wake him up," Kendall said, stopping James from moving his sleeping son. "That's mean."

James rolled his eyes with a smirk, but pulled Kendall to the large armchair instead. They draped a blanket over them with the popcorn in Kendall's lap, James curled up with his back against Kendall's shoulder and his legs draped over the arm of the chair.

Within just twenty minutes James had decided the movie was lame and reclined across Kendall's lap in boredom.

"What does it take to entertain you Diamond's?" Kendall chuckled, smoothing down James's hairsprayed hair.

"It's a difficult task," James admitted. "Maybe if you kiss me, I won't be so bored."

Kendall bit his lip with a grin and James met his mouth in a kiss. One kiss led to two, led to five, led to many more, and Kendall's hand roamed beneath James's shirt, over his abs that he knew had to be covered in sparkles.

James broke the kiss before it could get too intimate, looking over to make sure Oliver was still asleep.

"Sorry," James whispered.

"We can take this to the bedroom," Kendall said flirtatiously, making James chuckle.

"Better stop while we're ahead," James smiled apologetically. Kendall smirked sadly and pulled his hand away from the man's abs.

"How does someone like you keep such a body?" he asked. "You're a single dad with a night job, who eats nothing but junk."

"I have a home gym."

"Of course you do," Kendall grinned. "Rich bitch."

Laughter bubbled out of James's lips and he laid his head on Kendall's chest. They sat in silence as they watched. Both thought the movie wasn't even worth watching, but they were too comfortable to say anything about it.

Kendall was just about to drift off into a light sleep when James shifted and sat up.

"That's about enough of this movie," he said, almost nervously. Confused, Kendall focused on the screen, seeing that the characters had done some kind of drug. One character was yelling with tears in his eyes, obviously high.

"Yeah, wouldn't want Oliver to wake up and see that," Kendall yawned, rubbing his eyes as James stopped the movie. The room lit up with the blue from the stop screen, showing that James was staring into space. "I think I bought that for a dollar. Never watched it."

James didn't say anything, just disappeared into the bathroom. Kendall switch the TV back to cable and took the empty popcorn bowl to the kitchen, draping a blanket over Oliver on the way.

As Kendall put the bowl into the sink, he felt a presence at the entrance to the kitchen.

"We're gonna go," James said softly, gruffly.

"Go?" Kendall pouted, turning around. He immediately saw that James's chipper and flirty mood had vanished, the man's eyes downcast and glassy. "Okay. What's going on? Are you sick?"

"No," James said simply. "I just think we should go."

"What's bothering you?"

James looked into Kendall's eyes, trying to decide whether he was ready to let it all out to Kendall or not. This would be the perfect time. Oliver was asleep and they had all the time in the world.

Kendall took a few swift steps toward him, reaching out to take James's hands in his, looking deep into his eyes.

"Is this about your past?" he asked. James's first instinct was to rip away in anger, accusing Kendall of thinking he knew James more than he really did. But then he realized… Maybe Kendall did. "Are you ever gonna tell me? I can help."

James turned his face away, pulling his hands gently from Kendall's. The blonde sighed irritably and walked away, switching off the kitchen light and leaving James in the dark, where he stood for a few moments, thinking.

He didn't want Kendall to feel closed off anymore. He wanted things to be real between them- he wanted Kendall to be his partner, his boyfriend. But Kendall wouldn't go for that if he didn't know what James was so secretive about.

Maybe it was time…

"Can you get Oliver's sippy cup from the counter?" Kendall called, obviously packing Oliver's things for them to leave like James wanted.

James snatched the cup up and headed to Kendall, who was kneeling beside the sleeping boy, about to wake him up.

"Kendall," James said, sounding sorry. Kendall stopped and looked up, standing to face James. "I grew up without a dad."

"Join the club," Kendall shrugged passively.

"But on Halloween when I was barely a teenager he came to my house and got me really into some bad shit. He ruined my life."

Realizing that James was opening up about his past, Kendall cocked his head in interest.

"What kind of bad shit?" he asked.

"Can we talk about this somewhere else?" James whispered, looking down at his sleeping son.

Kendall sat across from James on the bed, staring in horror as the whole story of James's life came tumbling out of the man's pink lips. Among the story were a few horrifying stories that really seemed to be big points in James's bad chapter of his life.

"I got into coke for a while… I got so strung up that I almost beat a guy to death. For no reason… I just started waling on the guy… Finally some guys pulled me back and I blacked out," James said, in a daze. "My dad convinced me to do coke the first time, and of course you can't do it just once. I mean, what kind of father introduces something like that to his kid? That ruins lives, you know? Dope is easy to give up… But cocaine is a monster."

There were times during the story that James would get emotional and Kendall would squeeze his hands in reassurance.

"My dad had me do a deal one time to a biker gang. Because he was too scared to do it. Of course he got me high as a kite beforehand, then he sent me in. The gang was positive I screwed them over by doing their drugs, and that's why I was high, and beat the living shit out of me. When I came home like that, still high… That was the point that my mom broke and kicked me out. My dad wouldn't let me live with him. Again… What kind of dad does that?"

Finally James paused and laid back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. Kendall followed suit, propping himself up on an elbow.

"Thank you," he said softly. "For letting me understand you."

"I'm not even done," James chuckled pitifully. He stared at Kendall with black-rimmed eyes and sighed. "I did a lot of sexual things for money and drugs. Everything from just doing little strip-teases to sex. With men and women. I did a guy's wife while he watched, when he beat the shit out of me when we were done, even though he asked me to do it…"

"My God," Kendall whispered.

"I pretty much lost all sense of self-worth… And I guess I never got it back," James finished quietly, averting his eyes.

Assuming that was the end of the story, Kendall sat up and stared at James, who was emotionless.

"But you got over the drugs," he finally said. "How?"

James looked up and chuckled a little.

"I met Val in jail. Her dad was a cop and she was there with him one day. Somehow she saw past my sickly looks and talked to me a whole night. We got together and she wiped me clean. Fixed me. Helped me get rid of my dad with the help of her own dad," he said. "I think her knowing my past really fueled her fire when I started stripping. She was scared I'd fall back off the deep end… But I was doing it knowing I had a kid on the way and we needed money. I guess I get it."

"I don't," Kendall said softly, catching James's attention. "I really don't. Seeing you now, I really don't believe you'll ever go back to that lifestyle. You're a sexual person, and you like dancing. It isn't that you don't have self-respect. If you had no self-respect, you'd be a whore. You dance because it's the best way to provide."

James smiled a little and sat up, looking at Kendall sincerely.

"I'm glad you get it," he said thankfully.

"If I had the body, I'd think about doing it myself."

"You have a hot body, Kendall," James assured. Kendall chuckled a little and the two fell into silence before James laid his head on Kendall's shoulder.

"It feels so good for someone else on this earth to know," he said softly. "About everything."

"You're the strongest person I know, James," Kendall answered, kissing his hair. "I know you're not proud of your past, but you should be proud of where you are now."

"Should I, though?"

"You have an adorable little boy, a job you love that pays well, an awesome apartment and car, and me," Kendall chuckled. "I'd say you're doing pretty well."

"It's not what I want."

"Why?"

"I want to get my GED and be a nurse."

Kendall stared at James in surprise, and James looked up with a little chuckle.

"Really?" Kendall asked.

"Really. I wanna be a pediatric nurse and just play with kids all day and help them out."

Ever since Oliver was born James knew this is what he wanted to do. He found that being with Oliver and playing with him came so easy, and he loved taking care of him when he was sick or needed a bath. He loved just being a dad, and being a pediatric nurse would almost be the same thing.

"James!" Kendall grinned. "That's adorable and awesome and completely plausible."

"Think so?"

"Yeah," Kendall nodded. "I can help."

James grinned and stood, pulling Kendall up with him and hugging him tight.

"I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want to tell anyone," he admitted. "But I trust you, Kendall."

"I'm glad you decided to tell me everything," Kendall said. "I'm so sorry about everything."

James really hadn't felt this connected to a person since he first met Val and told her everything. He knew that by spilling everything to Kendall, he had in theory just chosen Kendall. He twisted his neck and brushed his lips with Kendall's before kissing him.

Face still close, he touched Kendall's sideburn, feeling Kendall press closer to him, sensing some kind of change between them.

Their eyes met and they both understood. Kendall caressed James's sides with his fingertips, kissing him more passionately this time.

"I think this is the first time I've ever wished Oliver wasn't with me," James said against Kendall's lips, pressing their hips together. Kendall chuckled in frustration, knowing what that meant. No matter how much Kendall seduced him, James wasn't going to do anything with him with Oliver around.

Just knowing that James wsnted this too turned Kendall on even more and James knew it.

With an expert hand, James reached down between them and cupped Kendall through his jeans, hot breath moving to Kendall's cheek seductively.

"I hate to be a tease," he said.

"Then don't be," Kendall whispered needily. How could he not be practically drooling when this hot guy in eyeliner is seducing him, touching him?

Just as James's hand started to move the tiniest bit, a small cry that Kendall barely heard but James got loud and clear rang through the apartment.

"Daddy? Kendall?" Oliver called sleepily. Kendall threw his head back and groaned in frustration and James chuckled, kissing Kendall's throat before he was off to tend to his son.