Just some of Leonard's thoughts
Still own nothing
Leonard was at the very least, perplexed at the position he found himself in. It seems that he was the one they wanted. It was unclear if that was by design or just happenstance on their part. Sure, the General had said Dennis was the original target, but when did they realize what his experience was? Was it his previous work with rocket fuels, a project that Joyce knew about but didn't get to see any details of thanks to, in a large part, Sheldon? Or was it his more current work with high energy lasers. This was a more dangerous prospect as his work was being watched by the Defense Department to see if there were any applications he would develop they could use for missile defense systems or worse, offensive systems. He was particularly worried about any offensive applications as this went against every fiber of his being.
This may have stemmed from the way he had been treated while growing up. He was held to a high value system that, while it did not reward good effort, it was inherently filled with rules regulations and proper protocols. One needed to follow the right rules to achieve the desired results.
He would rather have these feelings against offensive capabilities arise from his innate goodness, his dislike of conflict. He always shied away from conflict, sometimes appearing to cave in, to give up, and submit to the will of others.
He did know that his membership on the research team was not originally planned. As far as he knew, he had been picked because of his endorsement by Howard to Stephen Hawking. He certainly had no intent to be on the team until asked. He was a little surprised because of his, how did Sheldon classify it, "workaday career", that he was offered the position. He practically jumped at the opportunity, although he would have turned it all down in a heartbeat if Penny had asked him to stay.
This was weighing heavily on his mind, because the chances of him getting out of this particular situation were smaller now than he originally thought and had hoped for. He found himself thinking back to all that he had left behind. Although not particularly successful in his work, a point that Sheldon had no trouble in bringing up at any minute, he was one of only a few nationally recognized experts in high energy lasers. By the nature if his job, taking the theories of others, such as theorists like Sheldon, designing protocols and experiments and not proving the theories was not a failure on his part, more than it was a misdirected hypothesis on the part of the theorist. Science had to be proven after all. This was something Sheldon had yet to come to grips with. It was true that he was brilliant; however, none of his published theories had been experimentally proven. Leonard had accepted his role in the scientific world as well as his role in the Sheldonian world.
His happiest involvements by far, were his interactions with their little band of friends. It had even grown over the years with the addition of Bernadette and Amy. But, by far, the shining beacon of his universe had been Penny. Penny had been special right from the first time he had laid eyes on her. Love at first sight had always been in the same category as fate, astrology and psychics as far as he was concerned. However, it was as if he was truly struck by Cupid's arrow as he climbed that last step onto the fourth floor and his eyes fell upon her in her blue top, shorts and Ugg boots unpacking boxes. It was basically the same outfit she was wearing when he got the nerve to ask her out again, years later. Still the same beautiful Penny, a true beacon of loveliness. He couldn't resist any longer.
Early in their first relationship, things were so tentative, almost nervous. Things grew and got more comfortable. Leonard was always ahead in their relationship development because he knew he could do no better and never really wanted to try. He had tried to fill the void left behind when they broke up but never could. They were the yin to the others yang, the Elastigirl to Mr. Incredible, Lois Lane to Superman.
To Leonard, Penny was simply the most beautiful woman on earth, her golden hair, her flawless skin, her crooked little smile, the way she would bite her lower lip, and her green beautiful eyes. OH, those eyes. He could gaze into those eyes forever. They were mesmerizing, piercing and so seductive. He was powerless against them. He was powerless, against the wiles of this woman. Penny was, for a lack of a better term, his Kryptonite. She just needed to ask and he would obey. This was simply an undying love for Penny. He never wanted to have her hurt; he wanted her to succeed in all her wishes, hopes or wants.
The new relationship had grown over the last year. Things were so different now, so right. She had admitted whole heartedly she was in love with him. He loved being with her. She was bright, fun loving, effervescent. She had matured, her interests broadened to include taking courses at college. She had realized she was scared, had admitted to insecurities and commitment issues. None of her faults mattered to him. They were part of what made her, both good and bad. There was an inner resolve, she had to come out on top. He loved holding her, cuddling with her. They seemed to fit perfectly. He loved listening to her soft snoring as she slept, the warmth of her, lying close to him, the smell of her shampoo and moisturizer, he loved watching her sleep. She had a sweet angelic look to her face with the slightest inkling of a smile.
He steeled himself with these thoughts as a foundation. He would find his way back to her, back to the life with her and his friends, where he belonged. He would do this or he would dye trying.