CHAPTER 11

On the fifth day after the woodland picnic, filming began. The time between one and the other had gone by in a flash, mixing lines and horse riding with costume fittings and character development. But the best part of those days, and nights, was the time Santana spent with Brittany. Whether it was merely a touch in passing or spending an entire day in bed (which happened on the Friday) Santana felt herself falling deeper and deeper in love. The start of principal photography on the shoot didn't change that. It was dreamlike, the love of the Lioness surrounding and saturating her. She felt like a totally different person. She was discovering things about herself that she'd not realized before - about her capacity for romance, for adventure, for shaping her life as she chose rather than bending to the influence of those around her.

During a break in filming, Santana took the time to visit the bridge where she had talked to Maria. It was one of those rare days when the blue sky had clouded over and the smell of rain was in the air. It wasn't threatening, like it had been when she'd fallen from Rigel and had been swept into the world of the Lioness, but more delicate and melancholy than that. Brittany had committed to a trip into Robinsville so the Latina was alone for the time being. She didn't mind it. It give her time to slow down, to breathe after the avalanche of experiences of the past few weeks.

"Hello."

The curious tones drew her gaze to the right and down. There she found Maya staring up at her with an innocent smile on her face. It felt like such a long time since she had seen the girl and she was suddenly flooded with a simple happiness. Glancing around, she noticed Maria standing a little way off, watching the two and talking to Quinn who stood beside her. Santana looked back at Maya, taking in the gleam in her eyes, the straight chocolate-colored hair and the small hands that were raised in supplication. She crouched and enfolded the girl in her arms for an affectionate hug.

Drawing back, she said, "Hello, Maya. Have you come to visit me?"

The girl nodded. "Is B with you?"

Santana shook her head with a smile. "No, she's in town this morning. Will you and your mom eat lunch with me?"

For an answer, Maya took the Latina's hand and walked them both over to where Maria and Quinn stood. As they went the first drops of water began to fall.

"We should get inside," Quinn encouraged, leading the way.

The four of them entered a building Santana had not been in before. The room they were in was large, with several comfortable couches and chairs spread out and clustered in small groups. Several other people were already there, talking quietly, playing pool or just watching the flames lick at wood in a large fireplace set into the far wall.

Santana sat in a large armchair and pulled Maya into her lap, stroking her soft hair. From that position the little girl began to play a hand game with Quinn who sat close by, while Maria sat on Santana's other side and struck up a quiet conversation.

"How's the shoot going?"

"It's good, I think. We haven't run into any problems so far and we're turning out some quality footage."

"The ankle's better?"

"Yeah." Santana pushed out her foot slightly and rotated the ankle. "I've got almost full use of it back now. Doesn't keep me from doing most things and I can ride again."

Maria looked at Maya and smiled. "She likes you, you know."

"The feeling's mutual…but I don't know why. I've only ever talked to her a couple of times. But she feels like family somehow."

Maria smiled again. "That doesn't surprise me. She's naturally very open, so that helps, but I think it's more than that. She's connected to the Lioness and so are you. So I suppose it's natural that Maya should connect with you too."

Santana nodded in agreement. "You might be right." She hugged the girl a little closer and looked at her mother. "Do you mind it? I really don't want to be crossing any lines I shouldn't."

Maria shrugged. "It's just different, that's all. I'm her mother - nothing will change that. The relationship is different. Besides," she said with a small smile, "I'm hoping some of that acting talent will rub off on her."

Santana grinned back. "Aren't all kids natural actors?"

The other woman sighed. "I suppose you're right."

"Well this is a beautiful sight."

Santana raised her head and her heart started beating faster, as it always did when she looked at Brittany.

"How did the four most gorgeous women on the ranch end up in one room? Seriously, the windows should be steamed up from all that hotness."

Santana and Maria blushed furiously, Quinn just smirked knowingly, and Maya threw herself at the blonde.

"B, B, B! I missed you!"

"I missed you too, kiddo." Brittany chuckled and threw the girl into the air, catching her again as she squealed with delight.

"Well I don't know about y'all, but I'm starving. Let's get some lunch."

Quinn and Maria rose and exited the building first. Santana went to Brittany's side, feeling shy all of a sudden.

"San," the blonde greeted gently, brushing her thumb along the Latina's cheek before holding her jaw and drawing her in for a kiss.

As they drew apart they could see Maya pouting out of the corner of their vision. Brittany laughed and gave the little girl a peck.

"Now you can give that to my other love." She pointed to Santana and Maya obediently leaned out of Brittany's arms far enough to give the Latina a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Santana returned the favor before grabbing one of the Lioness's hands and entangling their fingers. Together, the three followed Maria and Quinn from the room.

XXXXX

It was the weekend. Brittany and Santana had spent the time lounging in bed or cooking at Santana's kitchenette, or watching movies and cuddling. At that moment, the women were in bed, Brittany resting her back against the pillows with Santana leaning into her, sitting contentedly between the blonde's long legs. Brittany's hands were stroking her stomach and side lazily while Santana used hers to draw shapes on the other woman's thighs. Music was playing softly in the background, creating a relaxed atmosphere.

Santana was almost asleep before she felt the blonde shift ever so slightly. She could hear the woman's heartbeat speed up a little in the chest her head rested on.

"San…I have to talk to you about something."

Dread crept over Santana at those words, so simple and innocent in themselves but heavy with some hidden meaning.

"Mm." It was a quiet response. She didn't want to hear any more, ask any more. Brittany swallowed hard.

"You remember when I had to go into Robinsville at short notice on Wednesday?"

Santana nodded. Brittany hesitated for the longest time, almost as though she had decided to drop the conversation entirely. But then she began again.

"Well I went to see a doctor…a specialist."

Silence fell. Santana's mind went numb, a similar paralysis in all her limbs. Her breathing nearly ceased and a buzzing filled her ears. She knew more was coming. Worse was coming.

"San?" Brittany's voice pleaded.

"Why?" It sounded more like a croak than an actual word.

"I…I've been having tests done."

"And?"

Again that silence. It was like the opposite to nails being dragged down a blackboard, but with the same effect on the listener. Santana wanted to scream just to release the tension building up.

"I have lung cancer."

Neither of them moved an inch.

"It's fairly advanced."

Brittany's breath was coming in gasps now, her chest heaving. Santana was sure that the change was purely the result of the woman's nerves, her anxiousness, but she couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand being near her and feeling that…hearing that. It just reminded her of what she couldn't see.

She yanked her body out of Brittany's arms and lurched to her feet, moving to dress herself as quickly as she could. As she did, she muttered, "How long?"

Brittany was confused. "I…I don't understand," she stammered.

"HOW LONG?" Santana was yelling now, the first furious tears starting to fall. "How long have you known there was something wrong?"

"A few months." Brittany spoke so quietly Santana had to strain to hear her. "Before I ever met you."

The Latina released a strangled cry and flung open the cabin door, striding into the too-bright daylight outside. She ignored Brittany calling after her, pleading for Santana to stay, to listen. She also ignored the people who stopped to stare as she ran past them.

She was blind, deaf to everything except her moving feet and the blood pumping frantically through her body.

Had she really thought she could escape this? That Brittany's fate would be any different to the Lionesses who had come before her, just because it was Santana who loved her? Had she fooled herself into thinking that love was enough?

She fell to her knees, bending over and clutching her stomach. The pain was building, building until it was too much to bear. This time she really did scream.

XXXXX

How long she stayed there, in that pose, so light-headed, she didn't know. But when she heard Jack's voice saying something, she couldn't face it. She couldn't face him, or anyone, so she ran again.

Her flight didn't end until she found herself at the stables, and specifically in front of the stall where her horse, Rigel, was housed. She hadn't seen him since he had thrown her in the forest, instead riding other mounts for filming and practice sessions. But now she let herself into the stall and crammed herself in a corner away from where the animal lay, staring at her. There she let the full force of her grief, her despair, overtake her. Floods of tears rained down her cheeks and she groaned helplessly, hopelessly.

The next thing she became aware of was something nibbling at her slacks. Raising her head off of her knees Santana saw that Rigel had moved and was now lying beside her, obviously trying to comfort her with his body heat. She allowed her own body to fall against his side and rest there while she drew in deep breaths in an effort to calm down. No one had disturbed her; she didn't think anyone would have dared.

Tears filled her eyes again but didn't fall.

Brittany.

She was beyond furious at the woman, at the fact that she hadn't told her what was going on. But she was equally mad at herself for having let her guard down and forgetting that this was a possibility. What would she do now? What could she do?

And one word came to her, dropped into the pool of her mind and rippling out until it was all she could think about.

Isabel.