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Chapter 11

"All packed?"

"All packed... I think?" She looked around the room that had been hers for six happy months.

Now it was time for her to go home. Back to Charles. Back to a bit of an uncertain future, and a lot of explaining to do, but she was going back and that's what mattered the most to both of them.

"This time next week Molly." Charles interrupted her thoughts. "You, me, and our baby will be all together again."

She laughed. "Steady on mate. Our baby, as you call it, still a little bump in my tummy. We haven't even had the first scan yet."

"You know what I mean." He laughed back. "Besides we'll have the scan by this time next week." Happiness still his constant friend about their news.

Molly didn't answer back and Charles knew why. So far they had told no one. Suspicious until that first twelve week scan, and also concerned about how some would take the news. Namely her family! Jacqui of course knew, the only one, Molly had poured her heart out to on her return after her very brief reunion with Charles. She was worried about what people would think. Jacqui, sad to be losing her friend was truly delighted at the news.

Other's reactions were not expected to be as positive as Jacqui's which caused Molly and Charles to have their first disagreement about her plans over the next few days. She be UK side in 48 hrs but begged Charles to let her do it her way. Her family wanted to meet her, they hadn't known she'd be home for that week's sick leave and so hadn't seen her for the whole six months. They certainly didn't know she was pregnant. They had missed her and wanted to see her. So Molly agreed to their loving demands, and planned a few days at her parents before traveling to see Charles. Charles reluctantly agreed, it was going to feel like a lifetime, not just five more days. Molly promising that when she did tell them the news, he most certainly would be alongside her to take his share of the inevitable fall out.

Her stay however with her family though was shorter than even that. Her family's negativity towards Charles as soon as Molly got back was difficult to endure. However she defended him, whatever she said it was never enough. Molly started to struggled to hide her symptoms, as well as to keep a civil tongue in her head, and so she cut short her visit. Missing him too much. Unsurprisingly her family also disapproved of this.

It was something she never thought she'd do, not again, not for anyone. Yet here she was doing it for Charles. She decided to surprise him. Not wanting to explain herself on the phone and not trusting that she wouldn't break down telling him, her hormones all over the place. They had only managed brief conversations since she arrived back, and they simply weren't enough to settle her longing for him.

Anxiously she stood there waiting, quite aware that the young Private in the guardhouse was scrutinising her as well as her passport. Her booking into the camp was long, as there was no record of a Molly Dawes ever visiting the camp before, so she had to endure the obligatory photos being taken and questions to answer. It may have been a surprise visit but security still needed to be followed. The romance of it all just lost on the military.

Waiting in that cold impersonal office, she started to feel that this was a dreadful mistake, foolishly thinking her spontaneity would have been fun for them. Wishing now, after half an hour of waiting that she had called him, had arranged a time to meet. Yet here she was waiting, with no one able to find him, true she had no idea where he was but the British Army should have, and she was getting pissed off that they couldn't find him.

Eventually though the Private informed her that someone from Major James' section would come and take her to his office, he was now finally free to see her, and so when Lance Corporal Green arrived to be her guide Molly felt like a naughty school kid waiting to be taken to the head master's office, rather than a lover waiting to be reunited.

The Lance Corporal was young, pretty, professional and desperate to find out exactly who Molly was. Leading her through the maze of corridors to Charles' office she asked as many open questions as she deemed polite. Molly skilfully play then down and gave little away. She felt old, and crumpled next to this crisp perfectly dress young thing, something that she was sure the young solider was all too aware of. The walk to his office was short but filled with sights, smells and memories of her past life. Every step she made towards him she felt as step back towards her old life. The life that had been taken away from her, and a life she was so desperate not infect this new one with, this new one they were starting together. She was distracted, and nervous, making her a poor subject for Green to interrogate, who was confident in these surroundings, whereas Molly was not.

Eventually she was shown into Charles' office, he rose politely from his chair as he would any guest, and thanked Green. He came across strict and totally professional with her, and as he dismissed her Molly notice a small blush from Green as she offered her good byes to them both. Molly noticing that Green's eyes had briefly fallen on his desk photo, one of her and Sam taken many years ago, and she had realised exactly who his visitor was. There was a small look of regret as she left, and Molly wondered just how many other young soldiers had secret crushes on her Major. It thrilled her slightly, that she had this man, but also made her uncomfortable, that no matter what happened in their life Charles would always have admirers for her to have secret worries about.

On entering his office he was cold, direct and showed no signs of emotion. The Charles she had fallen in love with all those years ago, the one who believed in keeping church and state separate. It gave her a brief glimpse of the Charles who she had loved but had left them all those years ago, and a small vein of fear past through her heart. However as soon as the door was closed, as soon as they were alone, he became Charles again. He became the Charles she loved and recognised, his other persona forgotten as he stepped forward and held her tightly.

"Hello you. I'm so sorry... been in a bloody meeting. No one told me you were here." He didn't give her time to reply instead he claimed her mouth as she stared up at him. The kiss was everything she had dreamt it would be during the very long broken journey that had given her plenty of time to think. She'd had to depend on trains and taxis to get her this far, leaving her parent's house in such a determined manner, her travel plans had not been well thought out. All she knew she needed him, and that was the one thought in her head as the long hours passed and the nausea impeded her. Now in his welcoming arms, being held by him she knew it was all worth it, every second, though she wished she wasn't quite so disappointing to look at. The stress of travelling and the pregnancy making her feel as though she was a poor welcome back present for Charles.

Eventually they broke apart. Again Molly attempted to speak but Charles rushed on. His delight in seeing her obviously shining out from his eyes. Looking up into those brown orbs she stopped for a while doubting herself, feeling as though all he saw was her, her beauty, and her love for him shining right back out of her eyes into his.

"What are you doing here? Thought I was picking you up tomorrow?" He moved her back slightly, one hand holding her to him, the other unconsciously sort out her belly and began to stroke it. This made her smile, her heart flutter, and everything else seem surmountable, as long as they had each other's love.

"I couldn't wait could I?" She replied honestly, but he could see that there was also something else she didn't say, he didn't push her though. She seemed too fragile for that. "It's good to be back." She mumbled into his scratchy uniform top, breathing in the scent of her man at work. The remains of his shower gel, lingering, but it was the smell of his raw energy, hours of anxiety and sweat that pervaded her senses. This was the smell of her man, the soldier at work, and she realised then she had interrupted his day.

She felt guilty, not considering him in her actions, all she had known at the time was she needed to see him, and she need to escape from her family's persecution of him. Looking up at him she saw how he was torn. He was still very much in military mode, but so desperately wanted to spend time with Molly, time that she quickly realised he didn't have to give at this very moment.

"Sorry I shouldn't have just turned up." She apologised, her hormone fed doubts starting to surface again.

"Don't ever saw sorry for that." He spoke sharply, but it was just the right tone for her to hear him, to believe him. "These past three days have driven me crazy, you being home and us not together."

She was grateful for his words, and briefly gained some security from them, but just too soon he released her. Turning on his heels and walked over to his desk covering over some files, and maps, that lay there. He looked at her sadly when he caught her staring at his actions.

He attempted an explanation, pulling, in the childlike way he always had, the short curls on the back of his neck. A sure sign of self-doubt.

"Sorry...but yeah I'm busy. Really busy. I'd planned to get this all done today and be free from tomorrow, and for our leave."

She grabbed her bag.

"It's ok I should have called. I'll go back to yours if that ok? I'm knackered actually."

He strode over to her.

"I'm sorry Molly. I won't be home until late either. Had it all planned you see. You're just a beautiful surprise a day early." He returned back to her and held her. "Can't even leave camp to drive you home either. I'm senior on call today, can't leave until after eight.

She pulled away feeling very much as though she was about to be dismissed. The environment, the secrecy were all little points that started to make her feel uncomfortable. She was back in a world she'd had ran from, actively chosen to leave behind, and here it was starting to make her feel uncomfortable.

It was dark when he got home. His day had been a stressful one, a day where an outcome had been agreed but one he was desperately unhappy about. An outcome that he would stall telling Molly about until absolutely necessary.

He was surprised to find the house in darkness as he drove up his drive, fearful for a moment that she wasn't there, that she'd gone again. But his fears were quashed when he saw her shoes and bag abandoned, Molly style, across his hallway. He smiled at the small pile of chaos that she had caused in such a small amount of time, and so finding no signs of her in his darkened downstairs he quietly climbed the stairs.

As he pushed open his bedroom door, the light from the en-suite was dim enough for him to find her outline under his duvet. She was burrowed into it like some small woodland creature, with only the tip of her nose and hair spilled out from underneath. He marvelled at how right it looked, her in his bed once again.

He glanced at the time and sighed. It was late, hours since he'd last seen her, and he was desperate to wake her, draw her into him and love her. He wanted to rediscover her body and admire the changes the past six weeks would have made to this woman carrying his child. But he didn't. He let her sleep, sneaking off downstairs to feed and water himself before returning an hour or so later to slumber next to her.

She woke suddenly as though someone had shook her, but instantly relaxed as she felt his arms clinging to her curled up framed. The need to empty her bladder screaming out to her, interrupted the peace she felt just lying there, so she slid quickly moved from him and regretted it instantly.

Woken by the noise of her retching, he was instantly alert, instantly by her side holding her hair, stroking her back as he always used to do. They stayed there for a while until she felt better, offering her soothing reassurances and water to rinse her mouth out, then slowly he walked her back to the bed.

"Sorry." She half sobbed into her pillow as she again curled herself up. She lay with her back to him, as though she was protecting herself from seeing his displeasure.

He stroked her back and tried to roll her towards him, but she resisted, instead curling herself tighter into a ball.

"Molly? What wrong?" He asked.

"What apart from redecorating your toilet?" She reverted back to her old defence of humour to throw him off. It didn't work, never did with this man who knew her soul like no one else.

"That doesn't matter Molly. You know that right?" And then seeing her shake her head, he leaned over and gently unwound her so she rolled over and lay half across him. Slowly he stroked her hair. "Talk to me Molly." He purred into her ear.

"I'm a mess. Feel awful. Look awful. Can't stop being sick, and I messed up my home coming with you didn't I?" The tears were now falling fast.

"You did no such thing." He laughed. Then hearing her sob added. "And you don't look anything apart from wonderful. God I've missed you. Missed you both." He planted a very hard desperate kiss to her head.

She dared to raise her head, despite the wave of nausea it brought on.

"I look fat." She pouted out.

He chuckled at this.

"No you don't, not from what I've seen anyway. You just look beautiful." Sliding himself carefully down the bed, now lying facing her.

For Molly, for her emotional state he'd said the magic words and she smiled.

"Don't feel it though. Feel awful. And my tits itch something rotten."

At this he burst out laughing and received a playful smack on his arms, along with a very childlike. "It's not funny." From Molly, who to his utter thanks started to smile and laugh again.

Their pillow talk remained soft and gentle throughout the night, both expressing their happiness and the plans for their next few weeks leave. Her nausea quelled enough to try some soup and water, and they spent the next couple of hours snuggled into one another watching the sunrise on a new day in their new future. Everything was so new for them both, and Molly's delicate health meaning that holding each other was all they could do for now. A peace settling on them both, no definite plans for their future made, only the utter belief that their future was together. There was time enough to make those plans. For now they just needed each other.

Eventually the day came, and Charles could not contain his excitement. To begin with, Molly laughed at how he bounced around the house with expectations of the day, but soon found all this energy he had was annoying. Her full bladder and nausea made her poor company for him as he drove them for her first scan. He'd had Sam so long ago, and was so disconnected, much to his shame, with Rebecca's whole pregnancy, that everything about Molly's was new to him. She couldn't fault his care for her, or his involvement in their new adventure, but just felt at times her really needed to rein it in for everyone's sake.

He constantly looked at the scan photos, declaring it was definitely a girl, looking up to find himself alone watching Molly hurry off down the corridor to the Ladies. The concern etched on his face until she returned by his side once gain.

"Everything ok?" He asked, genuine concern across his face, which quickly turned to relief and embarrassment when she explained her urgent need to empty her strained bladder.

"So?" He asked as he led her to the car, his hand cradling the small of her back protectively. "Who is first?"

She knew he wouldn't wait, she knew he'd want to tell the world now she was twelve weeks and all was well, but she still wanted a bit more time. The disappointment that flashed across his face instantly disappeared as she offered him an alternative. It had all happened so fast, it had all changed too quickly, she still needed time to sort everything out, to have some answers before she told everyone, and this was what she had planned to do.

She had booked them in for a short break miles from either of their lives, but close to her hill, her spot that he had found her at a year ago when she ran from Georgie's visit. It was here she wished for the two of them to sort their worlds and everything in it out. For this place of her past to be the place where her new future began.

The day was bright and sunny, but still he fussed. He brought blankets and coats for her, not wanting her to feel the chill. He'd also organised food from their B and B to keep her fed and the waves of nausea down. It was like de ja'vu as he turned and looked down on her sleeping form. Lying there in the grass, peaceful, content, holding on to his hand as he lay as close as he possibly could to her. His other hand splayed out on her just starting to round belly. The early summer morning breeze taking her hair and dancing with it. She had never looked so beautiful.

He knew things had moved at a pace neither of them had been prepared for, but he also knew that it had never felt so right. This second chance, this second go at living both precious for both of them.

"Molly." He whispered carefully, sudden movements on waking were still not a thing she welcomed. "Molly my love, wake up."

She rolled her head towards him, smiling at his voice well before she opened her eyes.

"Don't want to." She teased. "Not unless there's cake."

He laughed at this and kissed her on the nose, her eyes still firmly shut. He knew her game, hoping he'd leave her alone to drift off again, but he couldn't not this time, plans were afoot, and he needed her awake.

"Molly, are you going to wake up?"

"I told you, I'm only going to if there's cake." She laughed back out at him, but slowly rolled over onto her side so there faces almost touched. "You ok?" She asked as she saw his face. He looked unwell.

"I love you." He replied "You know that, don't you. I'll never hurt you again?"

"Charles, I know…." She sensed his worries, she knew it was time, she knew he was about to firm up their relationship, that he was to ask her the question he asked her once before and she had undeniably said yes to.

Yet this time she didn't want that. She didn't want him to ask her again.

Last time it was the natural thing to do. The order of things, what society expected from them, but that wasn't them anymore.

Despite it all, despite the years in between, they had kept on loving each other, and still would even if he never asked her the question. Even if she changed the order of things.

She stalled him.

"Cake?" She offered as she sat up, and began to rummage in the bag she herself had packed.

"No Molly, that's not what I want." He sat up too and pulled her around to face him, taking her left hand.

"Molly…." He began nervously.

She couldn't let him do it, she didn't want him to do it. This wasn't the way. Her mind frantically searched for ways to stop him.

"No Charles. Please. Don't. No" She stood, above him and watched as he recovered himself enough to follow her up.

"Molly? You know what I'm going to ask. I thought it's what you wanted? What we wanted." His voice cracked but he held his face neutral. His heart not believing that she was refusing his proposal before he'd even spoke it.

"I want cake." Was all she replied, and he watched her kneel down to the hamper to get it. His eyes never leaving her.

He stood still, dazed at her actions, taking moments to realise what she was doing.

Her kneeling stance in front of him was no longer that of his love hunting for cake, but was of her on one knee, kneeling in front of him, taking his hand.

"Charles." She almost whispered the words out, he only caught them because he saw her lips move. Her eyes were alight, dancing as she took in the whole of his shocked face.

She reached for his hand, that seemed to refuse to move on their own accord. He towered above her, him standing, her kneeling, yet she'd never felt so mighty in his company before.

"Charles." She whispered again, though this time slightly stronger.

"Will you marry me?"