Familiar Fire: The Embers of the Past Chapter 10, a zootopia fanfic

Chapter 10:

Brittany woke up slowly, on what she sadly remembered to be the last full day of their break. They'd be landing back in the city late at night, and she and her family would be going separate ways once again the next morning.

She paused, shaking her head at that thought.

They'd still be seeing each other and keeping in touch, just like they'd been before leaving for the holiday. The only difference was that, this time, there'd be no bad feelings holding her back.

It wasn't like those six long years…

It wasn't.

Ever since that first tentative olive branch, where she chose to try and let them back into her life, they'd been visiting often. It had been one of her conditions, back when she was still very wary and cautious. At least one of them would visit once a week, and if they couldn't come before hand they'd phone her up, explain why, and give solid proof.

Otherwise, it was all off.

Her parents had agreed and more than delivered. Her mother had been able to move to a shift pattern that gave her weekends off just like her father, all helped by a letter from Bogo that explained the very basics of the situation and gave her request solid backing when she took it to her boss. As a result, the whole family went to visit her once a week, the contact back to the levels they'd been during her first four years at the ZED. Given how she could fly across the city, she also visited them at their apartment on the other day of the weekend. Calls and muzzletime also became far more prominent features even if it very little was said, happening on the majority of the remaining days. She pushed for them to use this contact option, which ironically she'd always had but never used.

A month in, just after she'd started as an assistor and just before the sudden deal on the cruise holiday came up, she'd begun to mentally kick herself for not doing far more of it during those six long years.

For not even trying to have a long phone conversation every week or so. Or look into muzzletime, even if her isolation meant she wasn't really aware of the option until she was sixteen.

She could have called often and talked, rather than simply stick with the occasional text, couldn't she?

That was why she'd been given a phone, was it not?

Then again, she reminded herself, she'd craved their visits. Them being with her. Their touch and the real sounds of their voices.

She'd expected them to come and had grown used to it when their visits tapered off before almost stopping. While she'd asked and pressed, she'd been happy at the ZED, and any lingering resentment at staying there had long gone. It was her home, her old one half burnt out and ruined at her own paws, and she wasn't going to kick a fuss or get angry about staying there. While ambitious, wilful and independent, she'd learnt to behave too, and accepted her parents brushing offs and non-committal at face value. They had important responsibilities, maybe the result of her actions, and badgering them continually wouldn't have made things any better. Potentially it could even work the other way, delaying them in finding the time for those few short and precious visits. Either that or give them less reason to visit in the first place.

But…

Couldn't she have asked to visit home for the weekends. Or holidays. Or her birthday… Or just… just something? With the exception of some school trips and the very rare excursion with Judy looking after her, she'd been kept within the confines of the ZED campus up until her sixteenth due to legal reasons, receiving the legal right to go out by herself, or maybe even getting her own place if she had the means, on that birthday just as every child in the city was. But she hadn't used that to pay a surprise visit to her parents, had she? She didn't ask if Judy could take her to them either. The few times she did pondered it, she'd shaken it out of her mind, telling herself her parents were likely too busy.

Before then, especially in her first year, she asked if she could leave the ZED entirely and return home, and given time she sort of got why the answer was no. Looking back, she wouldn't want to have returned, leaving her friends and new family.

But couldn't she have asked, before or after Kinsey, and pushed? Either made them more comfortable around her, or push them to admit the news much earlier? When so little of the damage had been done?

Then again, she reminded herself, there was that whole court case thing. Her parents, still trying to sort things out, had been sued, the council thinking that they were responsible in some way for the damage. Bellwether, who could become mayor very soon, pushed the narrative that their daughter, she herself, was a danger. A ticking timebomb with a bad attitude that they were responsible for.

Their defender had defended them by saying that they'd done the right thing, sending the lunatic to the asylum, and even letting her out for a bit would show that they were untrustworthy or reckless or…

She sighed, gritting her teeth and squinting her eyes. There had to of been a way for her to stop this, or…

'NO,' She ordered herself.

'NO…'

It wasn't her fault, and she knew it.

She'd been here before. Back when she had started kicking herself for not phoning or texting. She'd been moody and grumpy, and Skye had picked her up on that. Asked her about it. She'd told her and then discussed it with Clawhauser and, together, they talked her through it. She didn't know why she was blaming herself after previously being so fixed on the guilt of her parents in this. Why she was putting the pressure on herself, taking on so much of the blame, when she was clearly not at fault in any of it given that they so obviously were.

She vented it all out, the only breaks being quick checks on her powers, making sure they weren't seeping out. A common skill she had to develop, but one she wasn't sure she could ever fully master. Could you ever trust yourself not to shout when you were angry? Oddly enough, the only time something got through it was the cold. From her insecurities, her doubt, her emptiness…

Clawhauser, one of the few mammals who she could entirely trust and love unconditionally, had taken her paws and stroked them gently. He'd smiled and explained a simple truth. Every child grows up thinking their parents are perfect but would eventually learn that they weren't. She'd been convinced of that until she was fifteen, when the lack of contact, stemming from what she'd presumed was honest issues, had built up too much for her. She'd dissociated herself with them, laying everything into her friends in the ZED. Skye became her sister, Clawhauser (much to his self-amusement) his mother, and Bogo, originally a teacher or mentor figure, into a replacement father. By no means a good one, given that his duty was with the main ZED, he naturally held back after his experiences with Jack, and he hadn't got nearly enough time to spend with her, but it was better than nothing. So she'd latched on, and latched on hard.

And that's why she took the news that he'd kept her ice powers from her and treated her as if she had the potential to become a monster like Jack so hard. Because a father would tell her and encourage her and teach her. The ZED had given her an afternoon every month or so where they'd practice stuff, getting her more used to the powers she knew she had, but she wasn't supposed to do anything other than the littlest things outside of that, was she? It was to make sure she was safe and in control throughout the puberty years in which things could go crazy.

They never did though…

The purpose for her confinement in the ZED never occurred.

In a way, the whole arrangement was pointless...

As for the whole lack of practice, after officially becoming an assistor that had changed and she'd started regularly practicing in the lab, making leaps of progress with helps and tip from the staff. But if she had a father figure who believed in her, that would have happened a decade ago or so…

In any case, Bogo had shown himself to not be what she needed and she'd snapped back to her parents, returning home and believing things could be fine and perfect. She'd gone expecting a heroic return and had been met with solid evidence of years of abandonment, lies, neglect and betrayal, all wrapped up in a little sister who was everything that every child feared most. A replacement.

Lost, confused and scared, she'd snapped back to the ZED. The illusion broken, she'd doubled down on everything, all to defend herself. Defend herself from the pain and the rage and the misery. She'd chosen righteous and cathartic anger against her parents, seeking eye for an eye justice, all so she didn't have to wallow in pain or misery. It had been her defence system. How she'd rationalised everything. Like before, she clung onto it tight, and trying to take it down would only flare it up.

Clawhauser had said that he pushed her gently to not break contact, given that he knew how much she'd loved her parents in the past and how much she could in the future. Any harder though, and he knew that the raw wound would flare up painfully, as it did when he brought the whole thing up. Had she chosen to go no contact he'd have totally understood and respected that, given that her parents had completely betrayed her and taken so much that couldn't be truly given back, even if they wished too. Now that she was trying to get into contact and heal those scars, things had changed.

She had the desire to mend this but was naturally wary, given the amount of pain caused in the past. It was natural to be wary of things that could or had caused you pain, and it would be a long road until it was gone, if it ever went at all. Still, that love and bonding was coming back in, and that push and tug was painful and confusing and so many other things.

And in that, Clawhauser had explained, holding her frosty hands as she pulled her powers back in again, she desired peace of mind or a level of control. All mammals wished for control. Family issues had come up because her parents had been scared of her, and the ZED wasn't truly set up or meant to replace them. Her father figures in life had all shown neglect and a lack of trust to some degree or other, and while they all had their reasons it was natural for her mind to stray to the one common denominator. The one that she had the most control over.

Herself.

He explained that she blamed herself to some degree because, through her hindsight, she saw ways of trying to fix a situation that so many others had caused for her by screwing up. She'd seen ways out that couldn't be seen at the time. She was hurt and wanted control and, in many ways, it was better to feel that she could have given herself a happy destiny, but failed due to her own mistakes, than that destiny and fate had chosen unhappiness and pain for her.

"So," she'd whispered. "I'm blaming myself because I want to?"

"Because you're trying to rationalise a whole load of things which are inherently irrational," he'd explained, leaning over to hug her. She felt warmth and comfort in his embrace, the only embrace she'd really had for a decade or so, at least until Skye was better. "But you don't have to. You don't blame yourself if you get dealt a bad hand of cards, do you? You didn't even get that, a number of mammals made mistakes that made your bad card even worse. Remember, however guilty you feel, it's not, and never was, your fault."

She chuckled, saying that this sounded like instructions to hate her parents again, just as she felt she was starting to make progress. She was confused and unsure, and he'd told her that that was okay, and that everyone was there to catch her when she fell. A few days later the call had come in, with her mother talking about this sudden excellent deal she'd found and how she had to decide on it quickly. She'd breathed in and out and told herself that, if anything, it was a free holiday. She'd called Bogo, who interrupted partway through to say that it, and anything with her family, was okay.

One month later, and here she was.

Still blaming herself a few times, but knowing that it was stupid to do so.

…Except with the whole business with Sam that was, she noted, rolling her eyes as she did so. She'd been inexperienced and madly in love and had screwed up.

…

Then again…

He would always be a friend, and by accident she'd given him a way to change his outlook on life and self-confidence. Even though she thought it was stupid and self-defeating, running away from himself, she had, in a way, helped him. As he said himself, he'd always remember her. Be friends with her. Thank her…

And, even if it had seemed perfect to begin with, it turned out that they may well have been doomed from the start as a couple.

She sighed, gritting her teeth. That feeling of someone big and strong, a real daddy to guard her and protect her and love her and encourage her, had, for the few moments she'd tasted it, been the best thing in the world. She hoped that one day, hopefully soon, she'd feel it again, and this time she wouldn't screw it up and would make it last.

With a yawn, she untucked herself from the duvet that covered her and placed her feet at the top of the bunk ladder. She began to step down, only to pause as a quiet voice spoke up.

"Brittany?"

"Yes Kinsey," she replied, smiling.

She saw the little kit sit up and give her eyes some big rubs, before furrowing her brow and staring at her. "I think you can be a real big meany sometimes."

Her eyes widened slightly, and she slipped down the rest of the ladder before walking over, planting herself at the edge of the bed. "Says the girl who was always mean to Sam," she chided. "He was really hurt from that, you know?"

"He did dump you, didn't he," she pointed out.

Brittany sighed, before shaking her head. "We… We decided that while we worked well as friends, we wouldn't get along as girlfriend and boyfriend." She frowned slightly, before going on. "If anything, I was at fault."

…

"So you ARE a big meany then!" she chirped proudly.

Brittany couldn't help but chuckle. "Is this about the prank last night?" She said it happily, but near the end her voice began to trail off, a worrying thought in her mind. "Did I…" she began nervously. "Did I really scare you?"

Kinsey turned, scratching her head, before looking back and shrugging. "I was a little scared, but I knew my big sister could save us."

"Good," Brittany said, with a sigh of relief. "That was…"

"-But it was still mean!" she interrupted, all but lecturing her.

The older sister chuckled. "I just felt you were being really mean to Sam, and really silly about that no power thing, so I wanted to get back at you. We did get you, didn't we? You were most certainly got…" As she said it, she saw her sister turn away and grumble, but carried on. "I think it's a bit of karma, don't you think?"

"I suppose. Sorry, Brittany."

"Thank you," Brittany replied, smiling. "And sorry too."

"Thanks…"

Looking on, the older vixen smiled, before stepping up to exit the cabin. However she was interrupted as she began the short walk over there.

"Brittany!"

"Yes," she replied, turning around.

"Can you stay please?" Kinsey asked, scooting over and pulling up a side of her bedsheet. Brittany, seeing the invitation, scooted in, and they snuggled up together. She watched as the little vixen curiously felt and explored her long blonde locks of hair fur, running her fingers through them.

"I wish I had hair like yours," she said, Brittany smiling as she did so. She leant over in response and ran her claws through the red furred head of her sister, before gently kissing it.

"Your head looks lovely just as it is."

Kinsey smiled, clinging to her tighter, before pausing for thought.

"… Can I have the hot water sister?"

Brittany frowned and shook her head, Kinsey's eyes beginning to tremble at the response.

"But… But why!?"

"You didn't ask nicely," Brittany chided, before booping her sister's nose with her claw.

Kinsey frowned back in response, before rolling her eyes. "Can I have the hot water sister, pretty please with sugar on top?"

Brittany didn't respond, instead taking the comfort and security she was feeling and using it to fuel her powers, which she directed into herself. Kinsey giggled slightly and snuggled up tight, only fuelling it further. "I'm sorry about Sam," she said. "I didn't want to lose you."

"You weren't going to lose me," Brittany comforted. "Not now, not when I get my next boyfriend."

"As long as he isn't a really really really really big bad wolf, then it's okay," Kinsey responded.

The older sister rolled her eyes, before picturing a big bad wolf, smiling at what she saw. She shook her head though, remembering the others things that mammals needed for a physical attraction, before turning back. "I quite like the sound of that actually," she teased, smiling as she saw her sister's eyes widen in alarm. "But I'll probably find that the scent is right off or something when compared to a todd," she added, watching as Kinsey relaxed. "But it's not up to you to decide who I want to be friends or more with." She gave her sister a boop on the nose, before adding in a gentle kiss. "-And if turns out I am an inter, and I do find a big bad wolf, you're just going to have to accept it."

"I know…" she whined. She fussed about a bit, before speaking. "It's just I thought I lost you before and I don't like that."

Brittany paused, turning to face her sister. "When was this?"

"Well, I remember the night I learned I had a sister." Kinsey began. "And it was normal, with Mum and Dad doing stuff and Mum upset and Dad trying to comfort her, and I didn't know why. I heard something about a birthday from Mum, and I later learned it was yours, and that was why she was upset. So, anyway, a bit later on I saw Dad get a call, and I listened in a lot, and he looked worried. He said everything was fine, and he needed to talk with Mum, and they did. Afterwards, they said that someone very important was coming around, who didn't know that they had me, and they might act real upset when they learned so they had to talk to them and introduce me before I could meet them. Until then, when they came, I had to stay in their room, which I did when there was a knock on the door and they told me it was this person."

Brittany nodded. "That was me."

"Right," Kinsey continued. "And I listened in, and I was worried as there was a lot of shouting and this new voice from someone called Brittany who was telling my parents to stop lying to her. She said that they sent her off to the government, so they could have a normal child, and I was curious as you sounded like they were your parents. So I opened the door and saw you, a red fox with pretty blonde hair and with fire around her, and she seemed scared to see me."

"It was… It was a shock," Brittany replied coldly, the conversation putting her in the wrong mood to carry on the hot water sister.

"I went back into my room when told," the little vixen carried on, "and you were talking about being my sister and your parents not forgiving or loving you, and I was getting worried as things were getting warm. And then it stopped, and I heard you race out and Mum crying." Kinsey's face saddened. "I went to hug her, to make her feel better, and I asked if she was a sister they hadn't told me about. Dad said that they'd kept me a secret from her, and treated her very unfairly, and asked me lots of times to not be mad at you, because it was all their fault. And I… I was worried, but then happy that I had a new sister. I asked if I could go out and hug her to make her feel better… And Dad said that she was running off, and we may never see you again." There was a sniff, as Kinsey shed a tear. "And I was sad as I wanted to meet you. I wanted to meet my sister."

Brittany looked on silently, not sure what to think but only feeling sad. Just sad.

Kinsey looked away, then continued. "Then my parents said that they had a daughter before me, who was empowered and could control fire. One day, when you were a bit older than me, you brought a fireball home and there was an accident and the apartment burned. Mammals from the ZED came, and said that they could look after you and help you with it, meaning that if things went crazy later on there wouldn't be any bad damage. You didn't want to go, but they thought it was a good thing, so they sent you. You didn't like it, but then you liked it, and they visited when they could. Then they learned that they were having me, and Dad was scared you might explode or…"

Brittany coughed, half laughing at the statement.

"Uh… -accidentally explode!" Kinsey clarified. "And he thought that if he didn't tell you they could look after me, and keep visiting you, but by the time they realised it wouldn't work it was too late. They had to look after me, so they saw you less and less. So little that it really really hurted you, and all they did was lie. They said you became so upset that you sort of stopped loving them, and it was super super painful."

Brittany nodded, before her sister carried on.

"And it was your eighteenth birthday, and you could do whatever you wanted, and they thought you'd be staying and become an enforcer. Instead there was an argument with the head of the ZED, which was mainly his fault, and you decided to come home. You saw me, and you thought that Mum and Dad didn't love you and hated you, and were happy lying and making you really sad so that they could spend time with a daughter with no powers, who was their favourite. You were super hurt and upset… and didn't feel loved by anyone."

…

Brittany softly nodded, waiting for Kinsey to continue.

"I wanted to hug you and say that I loved you then, to make you feel better. But no-one knew where you were. I thought I lost you then. All I had was a photo album, which was in a big case in a room that didn't get burned, and I saw these pictures of you. With my parents and at the ZED place… Then I heard that you were back there and safe, and Dad said he'd try to text you. Try and arrange a meeting, so that they could say sorry. I was so happy. I hadn't lost you! But you never replied, and I thought I lost you again..."

"I just…" Brittany began. "I felt that they'd abandoned me for so long that they didn't deserve to be back in my life. I saw no reason to let them in… I felt that my friends at the ZED were my real family."

"In the end, Dad said they'd turn up and try to talk to you. We went over, and this big bull came in and told my Mum and Dad that they were six years late, but it was about time they were here. He said that you did hate them, and he understood why, but he'd try and make you talk to us. Dad said that if you didn't want to talk to them at least tell her that I wanted to meet her, and she could see just me and not them. He said he'd do that last and then went off. Dad said that you'd be very angry, and may not have time for me, instead just shouting at them. At first, you did just shout at them, talking about weird things. But it got quiet for a bit, so I then said that you were pretty because I wanted you to feel better."

"I then showed you my powers," Brittany replied, smiling.

"You did, and it was cool, and I was happy that I might get to see you," she replied, before her lips began quivering. "But then… but then we had to go into this basement, and mammals were kind and played hide and seek. I then heard them say that the bad guy was gone, and that someone should come up first."

"That was Ben, the big cheetah," Brittany replied. "He was my teacher and does therapy, and Bogo wanted him up to comfort me after what happened. I… -I wasn't supposed to be up there, but I got left behind. I ended up being the one to kill the bad guy."

"I know," Kinsey said, nodding her head sadly. "But mammals began to move out, and we were told that we would be the last ones out. But over the radio the big bull said that we needed to come to his office and it was about you…" She trailed off, before sniffing. "Mum… Mum began to think that you were dead, and I thought it too! I'd just got you back, but I'd lost you again!"

Brittany's heart trembled at this news, and she dove in to hug her sister. "Oh Kinsey… I didn't…"

"-and when we finally got up, he was waiting for us, and Mum broke down crying, saying she'd never get to make it right. And I was crying too as I thought you were gone, but he told us all that you were alive! That you were to be the last to go down and got caught in the fight, and you were almost killed but then killed the monster with your powers but were really upset. We went into a room, and you were hugging this big cheetah who was just petting you… -and I just ran to you and hugged you, and I didn't want to lose you ever again!"

Brittany pulled in a tear. "Thanks. I remember just crying into him, saying that I thought I was going to die. I thought he was going to kill everyone, and then I used my powers to kill him. I was scared that he'd kill you, Kinsey, once he'd finished with everyone. I just hugged Ben, and he said it would be okay, and I remember first realising that you were hugging me, and… -and it just felt good, just like Ben and I hugging was."

"Well," Kinsey said, smiling proudly as she boasted. "I am a good hugger!"

Brittany chuckled. "You are, and when I'd calmed down my parents were there, asking if they could hug me to make it feel better. A little bit of me wanted it, but most of me didn't trust them. I asked them about those responsibilities they needed to do, as they were going to leave before we had to evacuate. They said that they had a giant one, more important than anything else, and that was why they were here. Ben said that it would be good for them to turn up the next day, and I think Mum asked if he could call her boss to clear it, him saying that Bogo would… I stayed a long time in there and ended up holding paws with them, before deciding to go back to my room." She paused, turning down and smiling. "But you kept on hugging me through all of that, didn't you?"

"You needed a hug," Kinsey said. "And I thought I lost you three times, so I didn't wanna let go!"

Brittany let out a guffaw, and then leant in to hug and kiss her sister. "I remember you being so upset when I decided to go back to my room. We all had to promise that you could see me tomorrow, and we did."

"You did," Kinsey replied, nodding her head.

"And…" Brittany said, breathing in and out. "There, we had some talks with Ben and Bogo helping, and I laid down my terms to my parents. Beforehand, I was nervous going in again, as I was going to see them… -But I was looking forwards to seeing you."

Kinsey nodded, and snuggled up close, Brittany returning the gesture by turning up the hot water sister high. "How about we spend this day together. Just sister and sister."

"Sister power!" Kinsey replied, raising a fist into the air, before they snuggled up some more, enjoying the start of the day in each other's arms.

After telling her parents their intentions and texting a quick explanation to Sam, Brittany and Kinsey settled down for some quality together time. Like all of the best quality together time, it was spent in their nightwear. Brittany had one of her nighties on while Kinsey had a pair of dark blue and silver pyjamas, a big cartoon character on the top.

"And who is she?" Brittany asked, as they snuggled up with a blanket on the bed, the hot water sister slowly warming up.

"You don't know who Luna the moon princess is?" Kinsey asked, gasping in shock. She turned down to the picture on her chest, of a white and grey she-wolf on top of a black, star filled, background, a silver and moonstone tiara on her head. "She's Luna the moon princess!"

"Well I know that," the older sister sassed.

"-And she is from a pack of wolves who the moon decided to save, as back in the old times in the mountains they lived in, howling was banned but they always howled to the moon. So evil soldiers came to send them all to jail but they still howled, so the moon brought them up and made them the kings and queens of the moon. That was hundreds of years ago, and Luna's daddy is the king now…"

"So, if hundreds of years had passed," Brittany interrupted, wiggling her eyebrows. "Who did everyone in the pack marry and have kids with?"

Kinsey frowned for a bit, looking up at her grumpily. "A lot of wolves got brought up! All the ones in the mountains! But Luna's pack is king and queen!"

"Just checking…" came the waved off response, before the talk carried on.

"-and there's the wolves in tranquillity castle and tranquillity town she rules over, and she likes to sail her moon-yacht on the sea of tranquillity…"

Wiggling eyebrows, and then a sassy question, interrupted. "How can you sail when there's no air or wind?"

"HA!" Kinsey immediately shouted, the sound distracting her parents. There was a clatter of a spoon flying off a table and bouncing to the ground, drawing them away from their girls, before the younger one continued. "Solar sails!" A very smug look grew on her face, and she crossed her arms and pushed them down in triumph.

"… I see the writers thought of everything."

"And you have the mice astronauts in mouse base one, along with a few larger mammal astronauts, then there's Desmond the moon bear... and the moon men who hide on the dark side of the moon as the are shy. And it's so awesome and the songs are great to sing along to!"

Thinking back to the cartoons she'd previously watched with her, Brittany couldn't remember this one. She shrugged, before grabbing the remote. "It can't be that bad," she said happily, as her parents scooted quickly by to enjoy their drinks on the balcony.

…

By the time they'd finished their drinks, Nigel and Delilah were feeling more relaxed. They were so happy that this holiday had done so much to fix the scars that they'd created, though a slight nagging sense of guilt still hung over them, Nigel especially. He looked over to his eldest daughter, up and dancing happily with his youngest, as if they'd known each other from birth.

…

He huffed.

It was, and forever would be, his greatest regret. Even with what went on previously in their break, he still feared that he might screw up, or accidentally do something that would permanently destroy the rebuilt trust.

A soft touch lifted his head up, and he smiled as he looked at his wife.

"I was thinking they might enjoy some hot chocolates. Want to make them with me?"

He nodded, and they opened the door and walked back in. He looked over at the pair, currently in the middle of the room, side by side, singing and jumping up and down as they parroted the dance on screen.

'And we do the best, best, Prance!

What do we call it, it's the moon-moon Dance!

Lunar surface shimmering…

Eclipse time nearing…

So come on over, borrow a rover!

And do the best, best, Prance!

The moon-moon Dance!'

The song ended, and Nigel watched Kinsey burst into laughter, Brittany smiling by her side. The older vixen scooped her up and spun around, before jumping back onto the sofa. They laughed and giggled, and a smile grew on his lips. His ears and lips did tremble slightly as he picked up the spoon he'd dropped before, looking back at his youngest as he did so, but he shrugged it off. Some things were plain to see. Some things obvious. And, while nervous as always, he felt that given time and care things would be alright.

…

"We have karaoke?"

"It seems like it," Brittany noted, as she searched through the entertainment system. She sipped at her hot chocolate, pausing as her father caught her ears.

"Maybe you could give it a go?" he asked, smiling. "Even if it's only so a dumb old fox can hear more of your beautiful voice."

Brittany put down her mug and grinned, before searching through the songs available. "I could sing my favourite," she said, smiling as she saw two versions appear. The sloths' original, and the fast version for mainstream audiences.

"Bit retro," her mother observed, making her chuckle.

"I thought you'd say it was corny," Brittany joked back. "Anyway, I heard Skye singing it once, as it's the kind of music she likes, and said it suited me in more ways than one."

Delilah chuckled, before bringing out her phone. "Mind if I?" she asked, smiling happily as she received a nod in return. Standing up, Brittany pressed play and, as the acoustic guitar intro began melodically strumming, she held up the small microphone provided and took a deep breath in.

"Well, you've got your diamonds…

And you've got your pretty clothes,

And the chauffeur drives your car,

you let… -everybody know…

But don't play… With… ME, 'cause-you're-playing with fire….."

Taking a deep breath in, Brittany stayed herself for the next verse. Her voice was mid-ranged, though it tended to trail up a bit when she got excited or angry. But now she pushed it deeper, almost starting to build a growl in her throat, channelling into it the glowing embers of resentment and scorn that lay in the songs vocals and made it so good.

"Your mother… she's a beta,

owns a block in Hy-ena-Hurst

And your Alpha'd be there with her…

…If there's nothing worse,

But don't play… With… ME, 'cause-you're-playing with fire…."

Another short break, the lead acoustic guitar doing a slight variation on the backing tune. It gave her a chance to swallow down some saliva and steady herself, focussing on keeping her voice in tune.

"Your Alpha took her diamonds…

and collars by the score,

Now she gets her kicks in Pack-street,

Not in -Rodentia anymore,

So don't you play… With… ME, 'cause-you're-playing with fire…."

A quick breath in, steadying herself for the final verse.

"Now you've got some diamonds…

and you will have some others,

But you'd better watch your step, girl

Or start living with your omega,

So don't you play… With… ME, 'cause-you're-playing with fire….

So don't you play… With… ME, 'cause-you're-playing with fire…."

The guitar rattled to an end with the song and Brittany, placing the microphone down, took a bow. She rose to three rounds of applause and looked over to her father to see him wiping a tear from his eye. "What did I say about your voice being beautiful dear?" he asked.

She just swooned, only for Kinsey to butt in. "It would be even more beautiful if she wasn't singing a boring song! Can I pick next!"

Nigel looked to Brittany, who smiled. "Go on then, trouble," he said, as he and Delilah walked over to enjoy the fun with them.

So the day carried on. Lunch came around early and, afterwards, they chose to spend much of the rest of the day in the waterparks. Brittany didn't run into Sam or any of his friends, and while she was a little disappointed, she was also a bit relieved. She instead played with her family, the afternoon merging in a sequence of flume rides and water games, going on and on and on…

It was tiring, especially given that she was still a very weak swimmer. It was a relief then when it was time for dinner. They chose to go back to the fancy restaurant where she had her panic attack, something which seemed to have occurred far longer ago than it actually had. Not worried, and feeling none of the tension or apprehension she'd had before, she enjoyed the food and the company, along with the performance routines that went on below. She joked and chuckled, helped along with one or two glasses of wine, before, together, the family retreated back to their cabin. It was still earlyish so, rather than going to bed, they settled down for a film.

Scenes fluttered past, and characters were introduced and did their thing. Brittany, snuggled up under a blanket between her sister and mother, looked on happily. It was getting a bit late, and the soft creep of tiredness was pulling at her, making her eyes flutter and close on occasions. She embraced it, pulling her legs up and snuggling closer to her mother. Her head moved up against hers, their cheek fur intermingling, and she smiled as a kiss was planted on the end of her nose.

It was so simple, but felt so glorious.

As if it had stirred a craving, Brittany burrowed in some more, feeling the warmth of the mammal who had given birth to her against her cheek. An arm going around her, she felt herself being hugged, and began purring as the other paw began softly stroking around her nape.

It was bliss…

Bliss…

As she experienced it, a tiny whisper of thought passed through her mind.

How long…

How long since she'd felt as good as this?

Brittany shook it off, remembering that Skye and Ben and Bogo had always been there for her…

But…

It was an odd nag of a thought, but it drew her in. She loved Ben, she really did. He was kind and sweet and knew what to say, and he'd always been a beacon of passion or comfort. Whenever she'd been frustrated, either at her parents distance or other stuff, he'd been there to help. To hug. To care. It had always made her feel good and better. It was glorious. Amazing. Irreplaceable...

But it wasn't this…

A gentle tongue preen, the wonderful feeling spreading from it and pushing aside those thoughts for a second or two, hammered it home.

It was love. But a different kind of love.

…

The same for Skye. Hugging her when she was finally better was the happiest she had ever felt, and there was no way she'd hold the inability to do so earlier against her. She had been a true companion, and more than a friend. She was an honorary sister.

But however filling the love she'd given was, it could never fill the hole being filled now.

More strokes, along her top and head, and the feeling of being held tighter. Being protected. She felt it double up, and she saw her father through blurring eyes. He was by her, holding her too. Speaking works of concern and compassion…

After her short-lived hatred had rubbed off, she'd learnt to admire Bogo. Admire him, respect him… Look up to him. He was a mentor. A friendly mentor… At her lowest, she'd run to him for comfort and he'd responded. She loved him...

… But it was never the strongest of loves… Not like this...

Her eyes were closing and opening more often, the whole world becoming a blur.

When had she ever felt this kind of love?

This kind of completeness?

When…

When…?

…

She remembered a day, two days before her thirteenth. She'd been getting moody and upset. Her father hadn't visited for two months, her mother four, and her questions of when had been met with responses about being too busy and trying to find the time.

She'd been in a mood and looking out of the round window in her room. Rain poured down it, and the clouds outside were a dark and mottled grey.

She'd been wondering about the possibility of thunder, when a knock had come on the door. She'd said 'come in…'

…

'Happy early Birthday Sweetie'

In that moment, the gloom from before had been swept away and she'd turned, racing and almost leaping into her mother's arms. They'd hugged tight, and she'd felt this beautiful bliss wash over her…

…

The last time she'd feel it for over five years…

…

"-tany please… what's wrong? What's wrong darling…"

There was a sniff, and her blurry eyes opened, and she suddenly felt that bliss replaced with despair and sadness. She sniffed in and sobbed out, realising that her eyes were crusted up with ice as she did so. Looking down, she saw her paws covered in frost, and sheds of snow coming off of her where the members of her family held on.

She pulled in her powers, the ice and frost leaving, before pulling in her parents closer.

"I missed this…"

…

"I missed it so much… -I, -I thought… I -thought I was okay without it, but…"

"Brittany," her father comforted. "However many times we have to say it, we'll be sorry forever for how we…"

"-I know," she interrupted, before wiping and eye, clearing away the tears that were flowing from it. She turned to him and leant in, wrapping her arms around her father and holding him tight, drawing strength from his returned embrace. "And I… -I forgave you a few days ago… Don't… -don't you remember?"

"I do," he replied.

"But…. -but I thought I was happy at the ZED," she carried on. "And I was… I really was. But I still missed you…"

She tugged them in closer, and they all hugged her, and slowly she cried out her tears.

"As I said, I loved them, but I still missed you."

Brittany had finished crying, and then cleaned herself off before going out onto the balcony. The cool air helped clear her mind, while the sounds of the ocean were relaxing. The pounding of waves on the ship was frequent, deep and power.

Like a heartbeat.

Somehow, some way, it reassured her.

…

She turned down and rubbed her face, trying to pull her thoughts into view. "The ZED were fantastic," she continued. "Mammals in there are my closest friends, and one is even an honorary sister. They… they treated me well, and with kindness, and in many cases love. But…"

…

"But they could never replace you," she sighed, turning to look at the three other foxes who were out by her.

"I know," Nigel began. "And I was…"

He was cut off as Brittany pulled up her palm, before carrying on herself. "They were kind mammals working for the government, and having to run through certain rules and ideas and such, and I get that they had to do that," she replied, remembering things such as how Bogo wouldn't help train her powers beyond safe control until she'd matured and signed on. How, bar the odd field trip, she'd been kept inside until she was sixteen… All things that were understandable looking back, but at the time…

"I wish I'd had both them and you," she said sadly, looking out. She stared at the moon, deep in thought.

"And I wish I hadn't of been a coward," Nigel began. "Or an idiot. Even if it had taken me being in a secure room or something to push up the guts, I should have just…"

"And did they offer to help?"

…

"Pardon?"

"Did they offer to help?" Brittany asked again, looking at him.

He sighed. "Bogo was mainly very angry, and then telling me that it was my duty to tell you, before he'd have to take action. I…"

"So no," she noted. She looked down at her feet and scratched the side of her cheek. "I remember when he came in and offered the student placement. You were… you were against it, and he mentioned how my powers might go crazy in puberty." She looked away, and chuckled. "The only time they did anything like that was right after I aged out of the scheme. Because OF COURSE it would come then…"

…

She breathed in and out, steadying herself.

"They could have helped too… couldn't they?" she pondered out loud. "They could have set it up so they had me during the week, and you at weekends, and at least paid for the taxi or something, given how long it takes to get to and from the campus. Or… or just put me on a summer long training course, to get the basics of my powers! I didn't even spend that much time practicing them in the grand scheme of things… Far less than if I'd have been free and out in the city, able to do it on my own… I wasn't allowed to do it unless I was in the test chambers, and whenever I was doing it, it was just doing it to test and practice my control. Those… those sessions could have easily fitted into a summer. Or maybe they could have pushed and helped get some summer holidays with you or something, so we could go together and not drift apart! And… and if I was in danger of going crazy in puberty… If they really did feel that once I was there, I should stay there all the time and not have gone back for short trips or so… why couldn't you have moved in too!"

She turned to look at them, her arms out. "You were homeless. They could have given you some housing in there, and helped you move jobs or… or something!"

…

Her parents looked at her sadly, before her father nodded. "It felt like it was all or nothing, and Bogo said that it was set up that way. It was a painful decision at first… To send you away… But I convinced myself it was the safest thing."

"It really did seem unfair," her mother added in, quietly. "I was against it, but he convinced me. I'm sorry I…"

Brittany grunted loudly, waving her arms up in the air to stop them. "If you're going to apologise, do it for apologising too much. Please…"

…

They turned to each other and nodded before turning back, speaking out in unison. "Sorry."

Brittany chuckled slightly and, turning towards them, smiled. It was brushed away with a sigh though, as she looked back over the ocean. There were lights up ahead, a glowing spire pushing up into the sky.

Zootopia.

Her home…

"The ZED are so many great things," she said. "But there are some things they are not… Some things they can't do…. -And it doesn't have to be one or the other. There's no reason it needs to be all or nothing!"

The last of the tears dried off her, and her parents noticed a hint of warmth among the cool breeze. They watched as Brittany looked out over the sea, back towards home, her body hardening with resolve.

"The ZED are great… But they can be so much better. When I return, I'm going to make it my mission! I'm going to work hard and help it improve! I'm going to reform it from the inside out, so that no-one will ever have to go through what I did ever, ever again!"

AN: And so we get to the end of chapter ten, and the first arc… As I said before, Brittany making this statement was supposed to be the end of chapter 2… However, the holiday arc and all the emotions just gave too much to write about (more than the original Familiar fire!)

I'll likely be taking a decent sized break soon, getting some other projects done and doing the prep work for the next arc of this fic. I only have half to one-third of the next chapter done, and November will be spent trying to work on a seperate project of mine. I do intend to come back and finish this though. I'd like to thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this.