Heartless Gardener

The soft sound of boiling water filled the quiet room. With a dexterity earned from years of experience, Severus Snape deftly chopped the Chinese Aloe Vera strips. However, his swift and ordered movements belied his inner turmoil. Haunting memories slipped through his strong Occlumency shields, mocking him.

Severus kept himself to the shadows. His eyes roved over the myriad of familiar faces standing in front of him. Occasional sobs and mournful whispers punctuated the priest's sermon. A twinge of guilt swept through him at the sight of a catatonic Black, supported by an openly crying Lupin. He firmly held on his impassive mask as his eyes returned to the sobbing widow.

"…may their soul rest in peace," the priest ended his sermon. The first coffin was lowered in the grave, followed by the saddeningly small one.

"No!" Severus' heart froze at Lily's wail, "Not my son, not Harry! Not Harry!"

He averted his eyes, unable to watch her crumpled form held by a tearful Minerva. He couldn't turn away from those haunting whimpers though. His fists clenched at his sides. His mask shattered as tears pricked his eyes. The guilt he had felt earlier returned fiercer than ever. He quickly disapparated, fleeing away from the torment.

Years later, Lily's wails still followed him.

He carefully added the crushed spiders to the bubbling cauldron. The potion turned pearl white with its signature turquoise fumes.

Severus quietly strode along the corridor. His eyes swept over the mounted pictures – a laughing toddler zooming on a child's broomstick, the same green-eyed boy merrily clapping his hands as a blue-eyed rabbit hopped around, Potter cheering the child stricken with Dragon Pox. He could feel those familiar green eyes following him. He could hear the blame in those soundless laughs. Lit by the eerie glow of moonlight, the corridor felt suffocatingly enclosed. He turned his eyes away as he quickened his pace.

He finally found Lily in the small room – sitting on the floor, stroking a ragged plush toy Thestral. Wrinkles marred her young face. Unkempt red hair framed her unfocused eyes. The brillant Gryffindor he had known was no more. All that was left was this withered Lily, defeated by the loss of her husband and her child.

'But you saved her, didn't you?' a voice, that sounded eerily like Potter, taunted him.

He crouched in front of her. His dark eyes met her green ones. His heart sank at the lack of reaction. His hands yearned to comfort her, to tell her that everything was going to be fine. Instead, he forcefully kept them at his sides.

'She deserves better than the hands bathed in her son's blood,' he bitterly reminded himself, 'She doesn't need a traitor's hands!'

As the dull eyes went back to the plush toy, he silently promised himself to rekindle the lost spark in those eyes, no matter the cost.

Severus nodded to himself as he ended the last stir. He added the shrivelled seahorse tails, followed by a pinch of crushed Unicorn Horn. The bubbling potion changed from a bright orange to a deep blood red.

Severus briefly consulted the Mind Healer's record which was kept in the obsidian mirror by her bed shelf. Healer Smith's comments echoed in his ears as he ran his fingers along the green-tinged reflections. One year had passed since the Potters' deaths and Lily was still lost in her grief. No improvements were made. With a scowl, he tossed the mirror back to the shelf.

"Lily," he called softly, his earlier annoyance dissipating. The green eyes turned towards him. Doubts rose inside him but he stoically ignored them.

"There was something I had to tell you," Severus' mouth felt strangely dry as he continued, "I was the one who gave the prophecy to the Dark Lord, the prophecy which led him to Godric's Hollow. When I learnt about the attack, I asked him to spare you. I'm… I'm the reason you are here, Lily. I'm the reason you lost your husband and your son."

His hands shook as he spoke. His shame almost forced him to avert his eyes but he kept staring at her. He would have given anything to see a spark of life in her – be it her famous fury cursing and killing him or her Gryffindor righteousness spurning him once again. A small part of him even hoped for a flicker of forgiveness, one which he didn't deserve.

For a moment, joy flared inside him as a mild annoyance appeared on her face but it turned to horror when she spoke.

"Don't be silly, Severus. James and Harry have just gone to the Quidditch game. They will be back any minute now."

Severus leant back on his seat. The purple potion, stored in a vial, rested on the table counter. Part of him screamed to smash it to smithereens. Another part pleaded with him to simply leave it all behind. He did neither. Instead, with trembling hands, he grabbed the vial and rose.

Severus' silent steps left no whispers of his presence while he walked along the stark halls. He stopped in front of the solid gold suit of armour, which stood as a final defense, courtesy of Albus Dumbledore. Running his hand along the sharp golden sword, he barely glanced at the glistening blood or the metallic guard. He simply made his way through the newly-appeared door.

"Severus," Lily beamed at his sight. A small smile graced his lips, hiding his inner torment. Turning away, she continued picking up the stray toys and crayons. "Sorry for all this mess. Harry keeps grabbing everything he can reach and just hops around, leaving a trail of mess behind him. I swear he's going to be rabbit animagus, just like his godmother. Pandora used to drop everything around in the room too…"

Severus' heart clenched while Lily rambled on about her deceased son. He took the blue crayon from her hand and led her to the bed. Her words slowly trailed into silence while her eyes stared ahead unfocused.

"Lily?"

"Severus," the green eyes shifted uneasily and in a whisper, she added, "It has been so long since I saw them. I feel so worried. I mean, James will never let anything happen to Harry but what if… What if they need me? What if Harry falls sick? Can you lead me to them, please? You promised me, remember?"

Her eyes bore into his. His voice stuck in his throat. Gulping down his grief, he added with a shaky smile. "Yes, I remember."

He mentally fortified his Occlumency shields. He barred his emotions, tension and hesitation. He pulled the vial from his pocket and handed it to her. Through his impassive mask, he watched her gulp it down.

"I am really going to meet them, aren't I?"

No matter how much he pulled his mental shields, he no longer trusted his voice. He jerkily nodded.

"Thank you, Severus." She quietly lay down on the bed.

"Li-Lily," his voice broke, "Look at me."

The green eyes stared at him. More than three years later, life returned to them. He saw the Lily he had once known in her emaciated face. Gratitude and forgiveness glittered as unshed tears in her eyes. "All's going to be fine, Sev."

The rekindled life faded to nothing, taking along Severus' last remaining strength. His Occlumency shields crumbled to dust. The suppressed hopelessness and sheer grief engulfed him. Sobs wracked his body as he desperately held her warm corpse. A sudden hysterical laugh rose inside him as he bitterly realised that even in death, he had lost Lily to Potter.

Wordcount : 1272

Written for Weekly Elimination Weird Prompt Thing Competition

Mandatory Prompt:

Wordcount somewhere between 1000-3000

Include your exact wordcount (of only the story text, not including any titles/subtitles, "the end", disclaimers & A/Ns) when you submit.

Semi-Optional Prompts:

- glitter [can be used as a noun or verb]

- spiders

Bonus Prompts:

- seahorse (1pt)

- Dragon Pox (2pts)

- blue crayon (1pt)

- a plush toy Thestral (3pts)

- moonlight (1pt)

- an obsidian mirror (3pts)

- [character of your choice] is a bunny Animagus (4pts)

- aloe vera (1pt)

- a solid gold suit of armor (2pts)