Here we go again… Damnit Hamstadini, hurry up and finish your next chapter man!

… Kettle calling the oven black… Or something like that…

"Allright class, I'd like you all to say hello to our new student, Mana Kirishima," the teach of class 2-A stated boredly, as the girl in question nodded and smiled from the front of the classroom. Most of the guys in the class began talking excitedly amongst themselves, which naturally annoyed most of the girls.

"I'm Mana Kirishima. It's very nice to meet you all!" Mana giggled girlishly, making the boys gawk and whisper about her all the more. As well as making all the girls glare harder, hoping to make her combust.

Damnit! Not another new bitch! Hikari thought, frustrated. While Hikari truly did consider Asuka a friend, and did admire her, she had to admit she was difficult sometimes.

"Why are all the boys gawking at her? I've got bigger boobs!" Asuka gloated quietly. Hikari rolled her eyes.

Okay, difficult a lot of the time.

"Oh great, now she's sitting next to Baka Shinji and Officer Dumbass," Asuka sneered, as Mana took her seat and winked at both Shinji and Andrew. The Third Child blushed embarrassedly, while Andrew, not understanding the significance of the gesture, shrugged and winked back. Mana giggled even more girlishly.

"Ooooh!" Hikari's pencil began moving of its own accord across her paper. Asuka snorted.

"She's such a ditz. She's been hanging off those two all the time she's been at NERV," the redhead grumbled. "Her laughter is really starting to piss me off."

"Wait, what?" Hikari asked, pausing in her doodling. Asuka shook her head at the inanity of it all.

"That Kirishima whore's always taking the Stooge's hands or arms, or 'accidentally' bumping her boobs against them or making stupid innuendos…" Asuka began ranting on Mana's numerous shortcomings, flaws, and fashion sense, before speculating upon her vaginal health and promiscuity. Many of the other girls in the classroom eagerly listened and nodded, while a number of the boys looked either disappointed or incredulous.

Damnit damnit damnit… That evil, man-stealing slut! Hikari thought furiously, pausing her doodling every few moments to shoot Mana a deathglare. The auburn-haired girl, having a spirited conversation with Shinji and Andrew, completely missed the class representative's dirty looks.

She's seducing them even now! But wait… Didn't I have a crush on Touji? Hikari pondered this, before looking over at said Eva pilot/Fourth Child. He was typing and grinning on his computer, in time with a few cheerleaders at the back of the classroom's giggles. Hikari's furor rose.

I don't need him! Jerk! Off banging the athletes… Her gaze, again, returned to Mana, laughing quietly at something Shinji had said and was now smiling slightly at. Andrew, too, was smiling in his oddly sad way.

Oh… I shouldn't do this! I'm lusting after two boys! A number of images flooded her brain at that, causing a small trickle of blood to emerge from her nose.

ACK! Why the hell am I thinking this kind of stuff?

Towards the back of the classroom, a platinum-blonde girl with eyes that were brilliant blue looked up from a yaoi fanfiction site. She smirked slightly, her eyes shifting color to yellow, before she resumed reading.

Damn, I bet she's making them her slaves this instance! You evil succubus! Hikari thought viciously.

"Hikari?"

That bitch… I'm going to kill her… Hikari's hand began to reach for a freshly-sharpened pencil.

"Hikari? Hello?"

I'll take her out… Be a martyr! Maybe Shinji and Andrew will have a threesome with me when I'm in juvie! Hikari thought, a manic gleam in her eyes.

"HIKARI!"

"WHAT!" Hikari shrieked. She then blinked. Asuka, the one who had yelled, blinked back… Along with the rest of the class. Hikari noticed that she was standing up, the pencil in her hand held like a throwing knife.

"Is there a problem, Class Representative?" The teacher asked flatly. Hikari blushed.

"Ah, er, no! No problem, really! Just, um… I'm feeling a bit under the weather, may I be excused?" The teacher shrugged, and pointed to the door. Hikari, still blushing furiously, hurriedly walked out into the hallway.

Asuka took this opportunity to grab Hikari's notebook and look over her doodles. The German girl's brows rose.

"'Mana being crushed by an Angel,'" Asuka read quietly, feeling a bit perturbed that her best friend had quite accurately drawn Kirishima being crushed to death by the foot of what appeared to be the twenty-first Angel. Not to mention labeled it.

"'Mana being raped to death by Eva Unit 1,'" Asuka read next, and shuddered. She was secretly glad the Angels hadn't switched to such tactics. Now morbidly curious, she flipped the page and looked over the smaller but still very detailed doodles: Mana being vaporized by a positron blast, Mana being chopped to pieces by a samurai, Mana being ground into fish paste and being fed to… Asuka looked more closely.

"… Is that the Prime Minister?" Asuka shuddered again, before turning the page again. Asuka frowned heavily.

This drawing was much more detailed than the previous ones, depicting Mana in a parka with a hood that obscured most of her face, just leaving her eyes visible. It looked as though she'd been shot repeatedly, her torso and chest gaping, bloody holes. Nearby, a caricature of Andrew, dressed in winter clothing said, "Oh My God, they killed Mana!" Next to him, a caricature of Shinji, also dressed for winter, replied, "You bastards!"

"… Um, Sensei? May I go to the nurse's office as well? My period's pretty bad right now," Asuka requested. Most of the boys in the class snickered.

"What's the difference?" Whispered Kensuke, who soon had Asuka's foot striking him right in the face.

"Shut your mouth, you fucking geek!" Asuka bellowed. She turned back to the teacher.

"As you can see, I really need some medication to help with my period," Asuka stated with a small smile. The teacher nodded.

"You're excused."

Asuka rushed out, leaving the entire class to stare after her.

"… So, what were we talking about?"

Shinji asked. Mana smiled sweetly.

"We were just discussing Andrew's group exercise idea," she supplied.

Shinji nodded.

"Oh! Right, right. So, uh, Andrew, how does it work?"

"Well, in the Air Force, groups of soldiers would exercise together to build unity and endurance. I think that such activities here would be very beneficial," Andrew explained. Shinji frowned.

"Why don't you just start it up yourself?"

"Because I'm just the Head Pilot. I need Major Misato's approval for such activities," Andrew said.

Shinji blinked.

"Why?"

Andrew shrugged.

"It's protocol. I'm in charge of leading the pilots in battle, helping Misato with paperwork, and keeping you guys together. I can come up with ideas, but require Misato's permission to execute them."

Mana smirked.

"The wonders of bureaucracy, huh Lieutenant?"

Andrew shrugged.

"We need it to administer and manage our operations. While sometimes slow, it's better to have it than no organization at all."

Mana pouted.

"You don't seem like the kind of guys to follow the rules," the Seventh Child observed in a sultry tone. Andrew and Shinji both blinked at eachother.

"Er… Sure we do," Shinji said at last.

"Yeah. They're there for a reason, after all," Andrew added.

Mana shook her head with a warm smile, while inside she felt like screaming.

God, are these guys neutered or something? Why aren't they getting any of this?

"Hikari, normally I'd support you being more assertive, but er…" Asuka held up her friend's notebook. "I'm not sure this kind of stuff helps."

Hikari blinked at Asuka, shifting on the cot she sat on. "I can't help it! That Mana girl… For some reason, whenever I see her, I feel this overwhelming urge to kill her, then take Shinji and Andrew as my sex slaves." Asuka blinked. Hikari blinked.

"… Hikari? When was the last time you masturbated?"

The class representative blushed furiously.

"Asuka!"

"Hikari, I think you're all nutty because you're sexually frustrated," Asuka continued blithely. "Especially if you're fantasizing about those two."

"But aren't you fantasizing about Shinji too?" Hikari asked.

Asuka flushed.

"That's-! That's completely different! Shinji's my bitch! He does whatever the hell I tell him to do! I don't give a damn about some girl trying to entice him, because I'll kick his ass if he tries anything! He's a wuss!"

"What about Andrew?"

Hikari asked.

Asuka snorted.

"He doesn't even know what sex is!"

Hikari gasped.

"What? How?"

"His brain got scrambled by his Eva, so now he's like some bizarre, sheltered Catholic kid or something," Asuka huffed. "He doesn't blush when he goes out and gets tampons for us!" Hikari's eyes widened.

"He… He doesn't?"

"No. It's the creepiest thing I've ever seen. It's like he's a robot! But anyway, Hikari, we need to help you with your homicidal sexual tendencies. It's not good for you," Asuka sniffed, completely missing Hikari's sweatdrop at the irony.

"Er, right Asuka…"

"By the way… What's with this last one?" Asuka asked, pointing at the cartoon of Mana dying in a parka with Shinji and Andrew as witnesses. Hikari shrugged helplessly.

"I don't know… It just came to me…"

The platinum-blonde girl back in the classroom sneezed.

Dun dun, dah dah dun dunnnn!

Next Time: The new Angel continues to manipulate the children of Tokyo-3, and drop more South Park references into the story. Can our heroes defeat this mood-eye menace? Guess we'll have to wait and see…