A/N: Ok. So I took a break for NaNoWriMo, then life whooped by butt. Otherwise, I have no excuse. I never meant to leave this sitting for so long. I'm so sorry. Here's a long chapter to make up for the wait.
Chapter summary: In which Li reads a book, learns something new, old, and terrifying, meets a friend, and perhaps trouble as well.
11: Fire
Li slowed down when Zenko finally stopped, perched on a large book that protruded from the bookcase. Her tail swished as she regarded a book on the row just below her. Eventually, she opened her mouth, bit down on the book's leatherbound cover, and tugged it out of its slot. Satisfied, she hopped down into Li's waiting arms.
Li took the offered book in one hand while Zenko pawed her way up his shirt so she sat on his shoulder, her tails brushing his back. The leather binding was simple but sturdy with the words The Art of Glass pressed into the stiff, front cover. Glassblowing?
Frowning, Li looked at his companion incredulously. Zenko tossed her head and grinned, proud of her work. Li rolled his eyes and looked back down at the book, flipping it open and studying the pages. The letters were printed in rectangular sections more or less in the center of each page. Curious, continued to turn the pages. Each page was nearly identical to the last.
There was no wavering due to the author's aching muscles, no wandering or uneven lines of text, and each symbol was exactly the same every time it appeared. There was no uniqueness to the lettering from the writer's handwriting style. There was no handwriting style at all. It was almost as if someone had created each symbol before hand and simply placed them in any given order to make the words and sentences on the pages.
Perhaps they did. This was the Earth Kingdom after all. Who was to say earthbenders hadn't figured out how to create each symbol using their bending rather than skilled, artisan hands? Pity that. Bending was a useful tool, but that was all it was, in Li's opinion. A tool. It could be artful, but it was still a tool, a means to an end. To give up an entire art form for the sake of convenience was depressing.
Oh, pictures. At least these appeared to be hand drawn. This one was of a man blowing into a long pipe from which a bulb of hot glass grew from the other end. The attention to detail was impressive.
Still, why did Zenko get this particular book for him?
With a grimace, Li leaned against the bookcase and continued to skim the pages. He wasn't sure what he was looking for. Hopefully he would know it when he saw it. Otherwise, this would have been a completely wasted trip to the library.
A turned the page and another illustration caught his eye. A woman stood by what appeared to be a kiln or flaming stove of some sort and throwing fire into it. Firebending. She was firebending. Not very well, granted. Her form was off. Her hands were cupped rather than held flat with palms out and her stance was too grounded. Her feet were too far apart and she was too stiff. Although, that could be due to the art style less so with the woman's expertise but…
Li blinked, snagging those thoughts fiercely and clinging to them before they could slip away. Firebending. He knew it. He recognized it. He knew the form the woman was trying to use, but he knew the correct form. Could… Could he…?
He held out a hand and… What? What was he supposed to do? Did benders feel their element? Did they visualize it? Was it like blood pulsing through a bender's veins to the beat of their heart? Obviously a bender could manipulate their element, but how? Was Li a bender?
He couldn't feel anything. Maybe he wasn't a bender. But he knew the forms. He knew he knew the forms. He knew he could do the forms. Why would he know the forms but not be a bender?
Hesitantly, Li went over every single firebending form he could think of. It wasn't as many as he thought, unfortunately. He could only remember five full firebending forms, nothing else. But the more he thought about the forms, analyzing them, he realized that even with no fire involved, they were still effective for offense and defense. He could even approximate those five forms with his dao. Perhaps that was how and why he learned those forms in the first place.
But that would mean he was… That he was...
A wet nose pressed against his scarred temple, soft fur brushing his skin, and a low warbling purr rumbled right by his ear. He blinked, startled when he noticed his hands were shaking. He closed the book and clutched it to his chest, focusing his mind and body on breathing. In, hold, out. In, hold, out.
Zenko had said it before, more than once actually. Fire. She called his a child of Fire. He was Fire Nation. He was the enemy. Ying. Than. They knew. They knew. And they said nothing. Why?
They said nothing. They did nothing either. They didn't shun him or push him away. They didn't watch their step when he was near. They allowed him to stay close, be present for Hope's birth, and even watch Hope when they were busy. They trusted him. They trusted him even though he was Fire.
Why?
Why was he Fire? Why couldn't he remember being Fire? Why couldn't he remember his name? Why was he here in Ba Sing Se and no one was raising the alarm? Why was-
Blue.
:Fire.:
He flinched but couldn't look away from those endless eyes. When did Zenko leave his shoulder?
:Fire is what it is. It burns. That does not make it evil. It does not make you evil. You are Fire. :You are what you are. You burn, brightly.:
But… He didn't want to burn. He cared for Ying and Than and little Hope. Tiny, precious, helpless Hope. He never wanted to hurt them.
:What makes you think you will.:
Fire burns.
:It also warms, cooks, aids in art like glassblowing and pottery.:
It melted half of his face off.
Bushy tails swished suddenly, batting the bookcase Zenko sat on, raising a cloud of dust that made Li sneeze. He shook his head and caught pure, glowing blue eyes once more.
:Fire is life! It burns, it fights, it spreads, and it is essential. You are Fire, Li. You burn like a beacon in the dark. You gave me some of your Fire the night we met and returned to me that which is precious without question. What evil person would do that?:
Blue swallowed his vision. He was drowning. He couldn't blink or breathe or think. There was just the blue and Zenko's soothing presence and gentle, powerful voice in his mind, overwhelming his senses.
:You blaze, Li. Fire burns, it also destroys. It is the choice of the user how it will be used. Just Water heals and drowns, and Earth nurtures and crushes, and Air whistles and batters. All living things have pieces of every element within them. You just happen to have more Fire than the others. Just as I have more Spirit.:
Spirit?
He blinked, dumbfounded by the loss of the blue. He staggered, unsteady from the exchange. His head was pounding. Wincing, he pressed his free hand against his temple. It seemed he would have to suffer through yet another headache that would sap his strength. What he would give for a good cup of tea.
Amber eyes. Gray hair. Laughter. Affection. Red and black.
Gone.
Zenko whined, her wet tongue swiping up his uninjured cheek. Surprised, Li moved his hand from his temple to his cheek. While he was fond of Zenko's shows of affection, he wasn't fond of being slobbered on.
And he might have offended the fox spirit if the disdainful sniff was anything to go by. He didn't mean anything by it, honest. He just didn't particularly like getting wet. Water wasn't friendly.
Humming thoughtfully, Li considered the book in his hands once more. He knew the library wouldn't let him keep it. He was from the Lower Ring. They wouldn't trust him to bring it back.
He looked up at the empty gap where the book belonged and grimaced. It was high above his head and naturally Zenko was upset with him so she wasn't going to be any help. In fact, probably just to rub it in, the kitsune jumped daintily off the shelf and sat on the stone floor by his feet. Muttering to himself, Li looked down the aisle to his left and right. He was alone as far as he could see.
There was no ladder. Of course. Earthbenders probably just used the stone floor to move up and down the tall bookcases. Ugh. Heaving a sigh, Li set the book on the shelf in front of him, grabbed the shelf above that, and hauled his body up to the next level. It was easy, if a bit awkward. Grabbing the book, he pulled himself up and plopped it on its rightful shelf, nudging it back into place with his fingertips.
He landed lightly on the floor with a satisfied hum and glanced down at Zenko. She sniffed at him.
"You're so ornery," he mumbled.
She smacked his ankle with her tails. He did his best to bite back a snicker.
A shadow flashed in the corner of his good eye and he turned his head to catch it. Nothing. Frowning, Li studied the top of the bookcase. He may not have the best vision in his left eye, but his right was perfectly fine. He knew what he saw.
He was still staring fixedly at the place where he knew he'd seen something… when paws landed firmly on his left shoulder. He hunched forward out of habit so Zenko could sprawl across his shoulders, her head and front paws resting on his right shoulder and her back paws and tails twitching on his left. She licked his cheek again and he sighed, giving in to her urging and walking away. But not without one last glance at the spot above the bookcase.
He knew what he saw. People didn't normally walk on top of bookcases, after all.
They passed that student with the odd haircut and expensive glasses again. Li didn't bother hiding his smirk when the student's faced paled at the sight of Zenko on Li's shoulders. The girl was nowhere to be seen. He supposed that was a good thing.
A steady pulse thumped the inside of his head and Li's smirk slipped. He really would need to do something about these headaches soon. He didn't want to cause trouble for Ying and Than. They had enough to worry about with little Hope. Which meant he would have to find a healer and check their prices. Or indulge in a good cup of tea and hope that worked.
His purse wasn't full enough for both, so he would have to make a decision. He had the day off but that didn't mean he could afford to dawdle. It would take time to locate a tea shop or a medicinal shop, travel there either by foot or by train, then indulge. So it would be best if- UFF!
"Oh, um, sorry," he mumbled, ducking his head and moving around the person. Child. Oh. Oops.
"Hey, wait a sec."
Oh Agni. Why him?
He paused, looking back at the unfortunate person he'd stumbled into like an idiot and waited for the usual verbal dressing down. It never came. Instead, the child -a girl, he realized- stood staring in his general direction with an odd expression on her face. Why wasn't she looking at… oh. She was blind. Well, now he felt stupid and rude.
...and she still wasn't saying anything. Li shifted his feet awkwardly.
"Um, are you okay?" he asked. Probably not the best thing to say, but he was a little clueless right now.
The girl tilted her head, as if listening to something only she could hear. She probably was. After a moment, she pointed right at Li and said, "What's on your back?"
Li blinked, taken aback by the question. He glanced at Zenko, who looked sightlessly back at him, then back at the little girl. "How do you know there's something on my shoulders?" he asked, genuinely curious.
A bright grin spread across the girl's face as she crossed her arms and puffed up her chest. "I can feel the way you're leaning," she declared.
"What?" Intelligent, Li. Brilliant response. The girl wiggled her toes and huh, Li didn't notice she was barefoot before. She was probably an earthbender then.
"And I may have overheard a few of those guys," she gestured over her shoulder with her thumb at a bunch of students who were obviously staring at them, "talking about some weirdo who brought an animal," -Li tensed, keeping his frustrated anger in check with a tight grip- "into the library." She paused. "So what 'cha got on your shoulder, Short Fuse?"
Li bristled indignantly. "I'm not short," he grumbled, crossing his arms in annoyance. "And she's not an animal. Honestly, you'd think university students would know better."
"She?" the girl asked. "She's a girl?"
"Yeah." Li glanced at Zenko again. Hesitantly, he squatted down so the fox spirit on his shoulders was at the girl's eye level. "She's a kitsune," he said. "You can pet her, if you want. She doesn't bite. Usually."
Zenko chirped indignantly, nipping his ear in playful punishment, earning her a shy smile. She grinned, flashing her foxy teeth and leaned her head towards the girl, sniffing hopefully. Li waited patiently while the girl reached out and ran her hands over Zenko's gray-black fur.
"What's a kitsune?" the girl asked curiously. "It sounds like a Fire Nation word."
Lit stiffened. It did? 'Kitsune' was a… He gulped. All this time he'd been calling Zenko… And no one told him. Fire. He was Fire and no one told him!
Maybe they thought he knew. But he hadn't.
A sharp cackle from next to his ear jolted him out of his spiraling panic attack and back to the present. He swallowed over his dry throat and stuttered, "Uh, I guess so. It's… She's a fox spirit."
The girl's milky white, unseeing eyes grew wide.
"She's kind of like you, actually," Li added, hoping to dispel the girl's growing fear. Putting arrogant idiots in their place was one thing, scaring children was something else entirely. He had no desire to scare children. He did that already with his face. Biting back his discomfort, he offered a tentative smile. The girl may not be able to see it, but he had no doubt she could hear it in his voice when he said, "She doesn't see with her eyes either."
The girl's blind eyes bugged. It was… actually kind of adorable, in a weird sort of way.
"What does she 'see' with?" the girl asked.
Err. Well, Li kind of walked right into that one. He scratched his short black hair awkwardly. "I… don't actually know," he admitted. "I never asked. I figure, it's not my business. If she's fine the way she is, then I'm fine."
Zenko brushed her three tails against his cheek and pulled her snout away from the girl's hands to nuzzle him. Of course she was fine the way she was. She was perfection itself, didn't Li know?
Do not scoff.
"Huh. She really likes you."
Li turned back to the girl, feeling his cheeks warm. "Y-yeah. I like to think she does."
Zenko made a loud, cackling sound and Li had the distinct impression she was crowing her appreciation for him. Or laughing at him. Knowing Zenko, it could very well be both. He wouldn't put it passed her. Sly fox.
"I'm Toph Bei Fong," the girl declared, thrusting out her hand towards Li and holding it expectantly.
Caught off guard, Li blinked before hesitantly taking her hand in his and shaking it. "Li."
"Li what?" Toph asked.
…
"Just Li," he replied.
"It's nice to meet you, Li," Toph said, grinning proudly. That grin looked suspiciously like Zenko's. "So, what 'cha doing in Ba Sing Se?"
Li shrugged. "Escaping the w-"
He broke off abruptly when he felt Zenko tense, her hackles rising and a growl vibrating deep in her throat. He had never known her to act that way before. He took the warning seriously. He followed the kitsune's unseeing gaze to a strange woman dressed in green and cream, her long brown hair hanging freely from a simple, green wooden hair clip on the top of her head. Her eyes were light brown and her smile was terrifying.
"There you are!" the woman said, her eerie smile remaining undisturbed. "You should not wander off, Toph. You should stay with your group."
"I'm fine, by myself," Toph said, crossing her arms in what Li highly suspected was a huff.
"Be that as it may, you should come back with me and rejoin your friends," the woman said. "The library of Ba Sing Se is a wonderful place. So many books. I'm sure you can find something to enjoy."
"Eh," Toph waved her hand dismissively. "Never really liked books. Not my thing."
Did… Did Toph just… Li snorted before he could stop himself. And Toph heard it and grinned that foxy grin.
The strange woman turned her nerve-wracking smile on Li and he suddenly wanted badly to be anywhere else. Anywhere else. Zenko bared her teeth and folded her ears back, her growl sending chills down his spine. Li would rather have Zenko's chills any day. Anything but that Agni damned smile.
Something was wrong with that woman. Something about her made Li sick to his stomach. It was like she was all twisted up and-
As quickly as the smile locked on him, it returned to Toph.
"Come now," the woman said. "Let us join your friends."
Toph groaned dramatically. "This place is too stuffy for my taste," she grumbled. "Hey, Short Fuse-"
"I'm not short," Li said in a deadpan voice.
Toph hummed. "Yeah, not one of my best nicknames, I'll give you that," she said. "I'll think of a better one for when we meet again."
Li smiled wanly. "Ba Sing Se is huge," he said. "I doubt we'll see each other again."
"You doubt my abilities?" Toph gasped, smacking her chest. "I'll have you know, I'm the best earthbender in the world. I like you. And I like your friend there. I want to pet her again. So I'll find you, Li," she thrust out her finger, and ended up hitting Li right in the nose, not that she cared, "so yeah, I'll see you again."
With that, Toph waved and left with the creepy woman. Li stayed where he was, staring cross-eyed at his nose where Toph had smacked it. He rubbed it before standing and watching the girl leave.
He really didn't like seeing Toph walk next to that woman. She just… Everything about her made Li's insides scream and writhe in disgust.
Narrowing his eyes, Li tucked his hands into his sleeves and turned away. He should probably head back to the train station. He couldn't afford any medicinal or tea shops in the Middle Ring, but he might be able to in the Lower Ring. Besides, if he left now, he might be able to snag a treat for Zenko before returning to Ying and Than's apartment for the night.
Maybe he would even see Jet. Maybe Jet knew of a good tea shop. He stopped and mulled that thought over in his mind. Naw. No way.