Notes: After all the dialogue and big events in those last few chapters, I thought I'd have this chapter slow things down a bit. But even though it's mellow and quiet, it makes a quite significant turn in the plot. Enjoy! :)

Chapter #11: Thoughts

It was almost past midnight and James was still awake. Outside, a heavy thunderstorm seemed to be angrily shaking the entire castle. Every few moments, lightening would flash and turn the night into a hovering ghost, haunting the school grounds with its fierceness. Seconds after, thunder would come with a big bang! as though it was competing with the lightening for greatness.

However, James Potter was hearing and seeing none of this, and neither did anybody else in the Gryffindor boys' dormitory. He was lying in bed in his red-and-gold striped pajamas with the covers pulled tightly over his body. But, unlike everyone else snoring soundly in their beds, he had his eyes wide open and a smile curled between his lips. His muscular arms had been leisurely tossed underneath his head and he was staring up at the ceiling, imagining…

"Why don't…why don't we go down to Hogsmeade together?" I'd asked her quite nervously. It had felt very strange; nervousness isn't one of my daily emotions. "You know…catch a butterbeer and look at the shops and stuff."

Lily looked surprised for a moment; only seconds had passed but it felt like years before her eyebrow—beautiful, like every other part of her body—became raised and she smiled at me. It had been enough to make my heart leap all the way into my mouth.

"Why? You think just because you saved my magazine you get to go out with me?" Lily had challenged. Teased, almost.

I smiled my irresistible smile and shrugged the cool way. "Well, I did get detention for it." The guilt trip always works.

"Detention means nothing to you. You get detention all the time." Or not.

"Well, you do owe me now, no matter what." I grinned even wider, knowing that I'd trapped her with my logic. If only I could just trap Lily Evans in my arms… "I mean, you don't want everyone—especially not Slughorn—to know you're in debt to James Potter."

And, unexpectedly, my girl laughed a clear sound that seemed to vibrate through my ears and echo five times more afterward.

"Fair enough…"

James's grin widened, widened and widened a bit more until his whole face was sore as he replayed this scene during the Hogsmeade trip over and over again in his mind. Lily, he thought. She's so beautiful. And so funny…and smart and cool. She's so perfect. Just the thought of touching the small of her back and brushing his lips lightly over her long brown eyelashes made him quiver.

Oh, and how horrified her face had looked when that greasy son of a bitch had torn up her magazine! The second James had understood what was going on, a burning sensation had taken place inside the pit of his stomach and had spread throughout the rest of his body like a wildfire. He hadn't even known that he'd been talking smack at Lucius Malfoy until he finished talking.

James hadn't been afraid. Not at all. He talked smack all the time to kids; hell, he was the wizard nobody else dared to mess with or talk smack to. All he'd wanted was to get Malfoy away from Lily Evans and to show Lily that he deserved a chance. That he was all-around a pretty good guy.

Thank Merlin it had worked.

To be honest, James wasn't sure if Lily had considered today's date—yes, in his mind it certainly had been a date—to be her permission for him to prove himself to her from now on, but he certainly took it that way.

Ah, James thought now. Prongs, old man, you've done it. It would be some time now before he got the girl.

Lily…Lily Evans…

Lily Evans. James had never, ever liked one witch this much before. Even now, he still wasn't quite sure why he fancied her. Of course, she was hot. There was no doubt about that. Yet, so many girls at Hogwarts were cute and hot and many of them had expressed interest in James. But he'd only flirted shamelessly, egged some on and even given blind dates. But meeting the real Lily Evans now made him want to stop all of that and concentrate on one thing: just her.

A few days ago, Moony had had the nerve to ask whether or not his newfound infatuation with Lily Evans had anything to do with the fact that this witch was the only witch who had always expressed nothing but disgust towards him.

Wondered if she was just this week's "catch"?

Or was this perhaps a new sport of James's: to chase the best girls instead of

letting them do the chasing?

"What the hell is your problem, man?" I had asked, almost snapped. "You've never been on my case before when it came to witches."

"I've got no problem, James, so calm your stupid self down, please. Professor Merrythought is watching us," Remus grumbled back.

We were in Defense Against the Dark Arts, working on a research paper. Merrythought looked up at the sound of our whispers and said in a sonorous voice with a pitch that matched her elevated height, "Kindly continue working without talking!" She turned her back to continue writing, or rather swooping notes on the board with her wand.

"Your fault," Remus hissed through gritted teeth at me. But he scribbled on a spare piece of parchment, Don't get mad. I've just never seen you so into one girl before. There's nothing wrong with that, but you can't blame me for being baffled. What's got you interested in Evans, man?

He nudged me to read the note. I skimmed it and wrote three words underneath his message: I'm not sure.

Remus replied in a rather agitated fashion: Come on, Jay-Wiz. It's me, Moony the Marauder. I'm not some random idiot like Felip Gale or Bertram Aubrey. You can tell me whatever. And trust me, I'm also not about to steal your girl. You can have the Carrot. Then, he grinned at me to show that he was kidding. What a terrible joke.

Even so, I glared at Remus and popped his knuckle hard before quickly scrawling back in handwriting that would've made Merrythought give me a failing grade: You moron, Moony! Don't call Lily that anymore, I mean it. And I was being serious. I really am not sure.

Remus paused, making sure that Merrythought still had her back turned, then proceeded to read and write back.

So…think this is the real deal, mate?

He knew that I knew what he was talking about.

Yep.

No more Betty Mousse, Clarissa Bobbin, Mary-what's-her-face?

It's Mary Margaret. And that's right. No more. Just Lily Evans.

Wow…big step there. You must be serious this time. That sounds strange. You, being serious. Ha.

Yes, this is a big step, yet it feels so natural to me. I had begun to realize that there isn't anything, well, special about flirting with a stranger. Even if she does go to the same school as you and perhaps is even in the same class with you, you still don't know anything about her except the way her body curves and perhaps what she smells like.

Besides, from now on I don't want to smell anybody else but her…

James heaved a great big sigh, but none of the snoozing boys nearby stirred. He tossed over to one side and fixed his eyes on the blank wall. He didn't see it, however; he was only seeing and thinking of Lily Evans and anything and everything that had to do with her. Why couldn't he get her out of his mind? Just as well, did he want to get her out of his mind? In truth, no. He did not.

He smiled a small smile to himself. He'd always thought Lily was cute ever since they'd met on the Hogwarts Express train four years ago, but he never thought she would become his dream. And look at me now, he thought, trying to make this dream a damn reality. He was sorry now that he'd ever made fun of her.

Yes, James loved her now. He loved Lily Evans. What a strange feeling, for it felt nothing like crushing or harmlessly flirting. On the contrary, it seemed almost dangerous. Lily didn't act normally—that is, how every other witch acted—around James, and James's priorities had now changed entirely. Every new day in the future all now looked like a big fat question mark. Will she? Won't she?

And suddenly, James found his very-awake mind forming plans on how to win Lily's heart. Funny how that sounded to him; it'd always been the other way with other girls. But then again, Lily Evans was different from other girls, in more ways than one.

Why Lily Evans, Remus had asked? Because she was who she was. It was true. Her bright red mane, her passion for Potions, her curves, her vibrant laughter, her spunkiness…he truly loved it all. But he knew that really wasn't all. There was so much more he didn't know about her; so much more that was a mystery.

James had a queer look on his face, almost as if he were high. His grin was slightly lopsided as he readjusted his position on the bed. His continuous blinking gradually slowed until his eyes drooped and finally closed.

Lily…she's so beautiful…

Lily Evans…Lily Potter.

Lily…

"Lily." As his lips mouthed this single name silently and lovingly, the sound that matched the name was uttered out loud. But it wasn't from his vocal cords.

James opened his eyes abruptly and blinked several times. Though he'd been on the brink of sleep, his lips had still been mouthing the name Lily several times to himself. But he could've sworn that he hadn't been talking out loud. Yet, he'd heard Lily's name quite clearly.

He sat up and squinted in the darkness. Barefooted, James climbed quietly out of bed and skimmed the room over for a moment. It was very late and the storm had finally subsided. All was quiet except for Remus's constant snores and an occasional tap, tap of drizzling rain outside. Maybe he'd imagined it.

James turned to get back into his cozy nook. If he really was intent on pulling off all his grand plans tomorrow, he needed a good night's sleep. Not a bunch of hallucinations.

"Lily."

James Potter wheeled around, certain that he'd heard it this time, and started

towards the direction he thought it had come from. His eyes were beginning to adjust to the primitive milieu and he could now make out the lumpy shapes of his fellow roommates.

"Lily Evans." A gruff voice muttered almost restlessly. "Lil'."

The last murmur was the loudest as James came closer. He trembled as he bent down to identify the sleep-talker. Black shaggy hair covered the culprit's entire face.

James lowered his head to get closer, turning it dubiously to one side.

"Oh, Lily," the voice sighed all the more louder.

James jumped back, startled. But he didn't move away at all. He stared.

It was Sirius Black.