CHAPTER 11 : FEAR

Henry took another glance at the empty spot beside Regina. The one that was Astrid's. She hadn't come to work for a week now and he had given up on coming up with reasons why.

He had gone to her house a week ago and met her husband, her terrifying husband who kept him up all night worrying about what might have happened to her since he messed things up. He had called, texted and spammed her mail box with worry messages but it was like she was out of existence.

What exactly happened to her? Why would she miss work for an entire week? Her points were definitely low and Gobber had said she didn't take a leave of absence.

Few more days of absence and she'll be fired from work. She was just an intern and still had a lot to prove as a future full-time employee.

Henry had thought of going back to check up on her, but that would just make things worse. It caused her absence in the first place.

He thought of sending Regina, but she wasn't down for it either. She wasn't the one to pry into people's problems.

Henry caught Gobber's death stare and turned his glance back to his work. He just couldn't focus on anything for the past week. It was like his meeting with Astrid's husband had traumatized him and he hadn't been himself ever since.

Gobber definitely noticed that.

Five more minutes...five more minutes and today's work would be done, working on sunday's was clearly not his cup of tea. He had to get back home early because Heather's parents were coming over for dinner. Once again, he had to face the pressure of being the perfect future son-in-law and being a hiccup was definitely out of the picture. He needed act strong, like he has definitely capable of protecting their daughter when he obviously wasn't man enough for that.

The bellwoods are well known and respected and wouldn't let their daughter settle for less. He had to prove he's not less...even if he was.

A little more countdown and work was over. He had to rush down home to be there for dinner before Heather's parents.

His dad had said it was a sign of courtesy and respect.

Henry stood up pushing his files into his bag.

"Are you going somewhere?" Freddie asked still on his work.

"Dinner with Heather's parents, I can't be late."

"Oh..well...say hi to Heather for me."

"Sure. see you tomorrow."

"Bye."

Henry walked out hastily from the office, down the hallway and out of the building. He glanced through his phone, Heather had already sent three messages reminding him he needed to be home really early. He put a ring on her finger and now has to deal with whatever comes next. Having dinner with the Bellwoods means he would have to use double cutlery, eat stake and stop picking his peas. Ugh! this was why his dad never took him along for formal dinner parties. He was like an all round 'disappointment' being the son of the Gerald Haddock. Still walking, he sent a quick text to Heather.

'I'm on my way home.'

Henry dropped his phone in his leather bag and accidentally bumped into someone...

"I'm so sorry I..." Henry trailed off when he saw the face of the person standing before him.

Astrid.

She was in a black sweatshirt and blue jean. Her hair fell loose over her shoulders covering every visible skin between her head and body. She was so pale and looked like she had been up for days. He stared blankly at her while she looked up at him with an expression of both irritation and anger.

"Astrid, are you okay? where have you been? I've been trying to call and..."

"Is this a habit of yours? Prying into people's lives?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You picked me up from the club and took me your home instead of mine."

"I thought we've been over that before? You didn't want to go home. I had to take care of you somehow."

"That's exactly my point! Stop trying to take care of me! I'm a twenty five year old woman who doesn't need you looking out for me! That's my husband's job!"

Sure. That street gangster didn't look like someone who even knows what the roles of a husband are, let alone play them.

"I just wanted to check up on you and return your..."

"Stop! just stop! I don't care about how much of a softie you are, but you're making my life miserable! You think you're trying to help, but you're really not! Stop playing the hero

because I am not a victim! I am married and spending a night out is against the code, didn't you think about that?!"

"Astrid, I'm sorry...I just..."

"Stay away from me! It's a shame Haddock aviation is going to have a hiccup running it in the future. Maybe its better off with your Dad as the CEO."

Henry felt a strong jab through his chest. Did worrying and caring backfire this much? He hadn't done anything wrong, so why did caring rile her up this much?

Was this how she really felt about him?

A coward? A failure? A...hiccup?

The fact that this was Astrid Hofferson, the girl who had been in his head for days made his heart sink. There was clearly no explanation for her coldness towards him.

Instead of hurt, he saw anger and pain. Pain she was now trying to instill in him, to keep pushing him away.

Henry blinked, fighting tears so hard. "I know you don't mean that...you're just angry. The Astrid I know...would never say that."

"That's your problem Henry. You don't know people as well as you think you do! What makes you think you know me so well?"

Henry gave a faint smile, those words echoing repeatedly in his head. "You're right I don't...but your eyes reflect your true feelings."

"What?"

"I don't even see anger Astrid." Henry said with his eyes locked on hers. "I see fear."

With that, he walked down to the parking lot and drove away.

Astrid froze desperately wishing for a chance to take back every single word she uttered a while ago. Henry was right, he did know her so well.

She was afraid.

She was afraid of involving him in her miserable life and that fear drove her into hurting him.

Ugh! why did she have to involve his personal life and father into this? Just telling him to stay away would have worked right? He had always been so sensitive about being the man his father wants him to be. It even led to that suicide attempt he told her about and she shouldn't have said that. Henry had been a great friend, a friend she didn't even deserve but she had just hurt him and he didn't deserve that.

Astrid pushed her hair backwards and looked at her call history, going through the missed calls from Henry.

He really did care about her, the way no one has before and she didn't appreciate that.

Eric had caged her in fear with all his threats and it made her hurt other people around her.

To be free from fear...she had to be free from Eric.

Henry pulled his gear to a stop in front of the third garage gate of the Haddock mansion and took in a deep breath. His meeting with Astrid had completely messed him up for this dinner and he could still feel her words piercing through him.

He should be used to it by now right? Everyone was worried about him running the company in the future and it was something he has been living with for ten years now, but Astrid? He hadn't expected to ever hear this coming from Astrid. She had said she believed in him, when he told her about his insecurities, being the son of Gerald Haddock.

Something led to this anger and he couldn't be riled up about it. Something might happened as a result of his visit to her apartment that drove her into saying those words. Her husband might have hurt her, or even done worse to make her miss an entire week of work.

This was all his fault.

She was right. He was making her life miserable even if he was trying to help. No matter how he tried, he just couldn't stop worrying about her.

Henry opened the door of his car and stepped out. He just hoped he wouldn't blank out in thoughts during dinner, or Heather's crazy suspicions would start up again.

Pushing the main door open, he took off his shoes. "I'm home!...if anyone cares."

"Hi babe!" Heather exclaimed pointing to the spot she wanted one of the chefs to place the dish.

"I came home early today. I hope I get a point for this."

"How about not getting killed by your dad?"

"I could have lived with that." Henry walked up to her and looked at the already set dinner table. This was going to be more formal than he thought. "Wow."

"I know right? This was all your dad's idea. I couldn't object."

His dad just loved showing off to the bell-woods like they were rivals, instead of close friends. Henry couldn't blame him. They were hardly-impressed perfectionists.

One quality Heather definitely got from them.

"Remember, fork on the left, knife on the right. You can't mess this up."

"Sounds like a serious etiquette session...Hope I survive this."

Heather kissed his right cheek."You might. You're the future son-in-law after all."

"Do I also need a tux for this?"

Heather rolled her eyes. "You're not funny Henry. Just freshen up, I'll finish things down here."

"Alright." Henry climbed upstairs to his bedroom. Well...the bedroom he partly shared with Heather.

Although she had her own apartment, she spent most of her time off work here and had almost taken over his closet. A few of her clothes were neatly stacked on his bed and shoes placed in a corner. His room was really tidy and more organised than it was when he left this morning. She had even picked out a navy blue t-shirt and camouflage khaki shorts for him for the dinner. She was so perfect that he couldn't stop questioning if he really deserved her.

Astrid came into his mind again. She never actually did leave his mind. She looked so pale and ill when he saw her and worrying about her then, would have fueled her anger. She had every right to be mad at him. For some reason, he still stayed with her husband despite the abuse and even kept lying about him being the perfect husband.

Maybe she really did love him to still be with him.

Or did she?

"Babe! hurry up! they'll be here soon...your dad too!" Henry heard Heather call from downstairs.

Henry pulled off his jacket and walked into the bathroom, washing his face with cold water, that should keep him up through the long formal dinner. He took his hair brush, pushing his brunette hair away from his face. something he did every three minutes. He pushed the brush towards the base of his skull and it got stuck in the braid Astrid had put in his hair weeks ago. He just realized he still hadn't taken it off.

He smiled as he gently pulled the brush out and felt the very loose braid in his hair. He remembered when she helped him brush his hair, back when they were good friends...back when she was Astrid. Looking at their current situation, their friendship was lost and things would never be the same between them.

He had missed her. He had missed their friendship, getting to ride her home and having hot chocolate and peppermint tea before work.

Seeing her at work everyday always made waking up early worth it, but not this week.

There was something different about this past week.

For some reason...he had felt...empty.

Henry brushed his hair and put his shirt on. He had to focus at dinner tonight. Spacing out in thoughts about Astrid was going to make him loose points before Heather's parents and another girl shouldn't even be on his mind when he had a fiancee. He splashed more water on his face to kick those thoughts from his head.

The glass door opened and Heather walked into the bedroom. "Henry? are you okay? You're really taking too long."

"I'm ready...I guess." Henry put his jacket back on. "A little exhausted."

"I'm sorry about this, maybe I'll try talking them into letting you go to bed early."

"No It's fine...I can stay through it."

Heather was struggling with the hook of her bra. "Little help here please?"

Henry picked the two ends of her bra and hooked them in place, then zipped up the back of her strapless gown. "I've never seen you in this before."

"I shop everyday genius. do you like it?"

Henry placed his hands on her shoulder and turned her around to face him. "I love it. I feel a little under dressed for this."

"You look fine." Heather said turned her back on him, raising her hair up.

Henry placed her necklace on her, hooking it gently behind her. "Good enough to impress your parents?"

Heather let down her dark curls and turned back to face him."You don't need to impress them Henry. They love you already."

"Your parents are perfectionists Heather. Maybe I should..."

Heather kissed him, slipping her arms around his shoulder and pulling him closer. "Just be you Henry."

Henry deepened the kiss, hands trailing her sides. "That wasn't what you said a while ago."

She smiled in the kiss."Okay, be you with a little etiquette."

His hands moved to the small of her back as she moaned a little in his mouth, messing up his hair.

"Henry!"

The both of them pulled away from each other, breathing harshly. "They're here."

"You've just messed up my hair."

"Just fix it quickly. I'll get down first...don't be late." Heather left the bedroom.

Henry looked into the mirrored doors of the closet at re brushed his hair. He hadn't been with Heather's parents since he proposed to her and he hoped this dinner would turn out fine and as long as he focused on Heather, Astrid words wouldn't pop into his mind again.

Henry went downstairs and everyone was at the table. His dad, Heather's parents and Gobber. This was going to be one awkward dinner and he hoped he wouldn't be the subject of all the discussions.

"Good evening sir...ma'am." Henry greeted Heather's parents with a bow.

"Henry! How have you been? hardly visit these days, is work at the board too stressful?"

"Definitely, honey...he's probably the youngest member of the board. He has a lot to live up to."

Great. more people, with more expectations...they just keep coming!

Henry turned to Heather with a confused look. She kissed his cheek with assurance to reduce the tension. "Just sit down."

"Actually, Henry isn't part of the board yet, but he would be, in a few days." Gerald chirped in, slicing the roasted turkey.

Henry looked up at his father with a glare of both anger and frustration. They never agreed on him joining the board, not anytime soon. Gerald Haddock just loved pulling his strings

and Henry had started considering renouncing the Haddock name.

"I'm not joining the board anytime soon sir. If I'm going to lead Haddock aviation one day, I have to start from the bottom. I'm currently in the post-internship program. Learning the basics." Henry said still glaring at his father.

Heather nudged him. Her parents were watching. He couldn't pick a fight with his dad now, even if he was definitely asking for it.

"So how long would that take? to um...learn the basics?" Mr. Bell-wood asked.

Heather sighed. "Dad! we just started dinner and Henry just came home from work. Give him a break!"

"Um...Henry is a little unsure of himself, but he has been training with Gobber all his life. I think he is ready and would be a part of the board very soon...More progress when both Haddocks are running the company right?" Gerald spoke up.

"Absolutely...with knowledge and talent like yours Henry, you have to start facing the responsibilities on your shoulders." Mr Haddock added to that.

Henry ran his fingers through his hair. One more word from his dad and he was going to loose it.

He didn't ask to be Gerald Haddock's son. In fact, in his second life, he wouldn't choose to be a part of this family.

Heather squeezed his hand gently to stop him from walking out. He needed to endure all this...for Heather.

Sitting at the table with a bunch of self centered elders discussing his future and deciding his path was really infuriating but he had to keep his cool.

He wouldn't be able to marry her without their approval.

He glanced at Heather and she kissed his shoulder. It wasn't her fault her dad was acting this way. He was in love with her and not them.

"So how has the internship program been Henry?" Heather's mother who had been silent finally spoke up.

"Ask Gobber, he's their tutor." His dad interrupted...again!

"The program has been good so far." Henry completely ignored his dad."We'll begin practicals in two weeks."

"Are you planning on being a pilot first?" Mr Bell-wood asked in a confused tone.

"We are still discussing that." Henry's father budged in the third time and Henry's palms turned into a fist."He has flown planes a number of times, so we don't think that would be necessary."

"I agree." Heather's dad spoke. "Time is running out...Haddock aviation needs to see Stoic's boy."

'Stoic's boy', the identity he desperately so wanted to run away from. The identity that messed with his freedom to decide for himself, freedom to love who he really was, the identity that drained every inch of happiness from his life.

Astrid's words returned again. 'It's a shame Haddock aviation is going to have a hiccup running it in the future. Maybe its better off with your Dad as the CEO'.

Even if the world saw him this way, not Astrid Hofferson. She was the one person he didn't have to prove himself to. She was the one person who saw him perfect as being a skinny green-eyed hiccup and she was the one person who made him feel like it was okay to be different, to make his own decisions...to be true to himself...to be free.

What if he never would amount to what his dad achieved as the CEO of Haddock aviation?

What if he fails the expectations of everyone around him?

What if he's not going to be the perfect son in law after all?

So many 'what ifs' came in a basket of fear and his hands shivered, lips dry and eyes frozen.

The last time he felt this way, he was in his bedroom with dangerous pills in his hands.

Ready to end the identity of 'Stoic's boy'.