The Mormfongs

Job trial went, ahem, er... yeah. It was appalling. I spent the whole day cleaning the kitchen, because there were only five orders. FIVE. For the WHOLE DAY. I got offered the job, but had to turn it down. Ah, well, at least I can save my baking skills for use on my family and friends! A batch of strawberry and white chocolate muffins for my lady on Valentines Day, and another for my dear co-workers! I really wish that I could send some to all of my lovely readers...

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, PRAISE HER.

Picture book, of people with each other, to prove they love each other, a long time ago

(-)

Remus was roused from his pleasant slumber by an insistent shake of his shoulder by an unidentified hand.

"Oi."

Eurgh. James.

Remus opened one eye, and found James's face not two inches from his own, with his spectacles hanging lower. James pushed them up impatiently.

"Remus? Are you awake?"

Remus opened his other eye. "Certainly."

"Tea?"

"It's 5 o'clock. Why are you up so early?"

"I thought we'd have a talk," said James, still hovering dangerously close.

"Mind backing up a foot or so?" Remus inquired, cautiously.

"Huh? Oh. Right. Dreadfully low ceiling, old chap. Join us out in a few, will you? And bring cushions." James retreated from Remus's tent, with a wink.

Remus blinked several times, before sitting up. He pulled a jumper on over his pyjamas, and ventured out into the cool dormitory.

Sirius was sat on the floor, lounging against one of his bedposts, looking bleary eyed. He grinned lazily at Remus as he came into view.

James was struggling into his robes in the corner, a toothbrush wedged firmly between his teeth.

Defiantly, Peter was still in bed.

"Tea?" Remus suggested, fetching his teapot.

"Do you have any biscuits?" Sirius inquired, helping Remus to gather the cups and saucers.

"I'm afraid not," admitted Remus.

"No worries; Mum sent us some," James announced, through a mouthful of toothpaste. He went to the bathroom, spat, rinsed, and located a tin of Ginger Newts. "PETER!"

Peter grumbled, and literally rolled out of bed, landing with an 'oof!' on the floor. He wrapped his blanket around himself, and shuffled over to where the others had congregated.

Remus poured out the tea.

"So... when did it happen?" James inquired, exchanging a biscuit for a cup of tea.

"When I was four," said Remus. "Sugar, Sirius?"

"No, thank you. My teeth aren't as sweet as yours, Rem."

"Do you know who did it?" James asked.

"No. But I can't blame him. I'm sure that he made every precaution to avoid it, but even the safest of us occasionally wriggle free." Remus added two lumps to his cup, and stirred.

Peter took a biscuit from James, and dunked it. "We should have morning tea parties more often."

Sirius spared him a sideways glance, which went unnoticed. "Does it hurt?"

"It's worse than... anything." Remus took a sip of tea.

"Where do you go to... you know?"

"A little house," said Remus. "In Hogsmeade. Via a secret tunnel. It's safe. Dumbledore organized it for me."

"So he does know? Good. Do any of the teachers?" James was curious.

"Madam Pomfrey-"

"Obviously," muttered Sirius.

"-and Professor McGonagall."

"Hmm."

"Another?" Remus offered, indicating James's empty cup.

"Please."

Remus refilled.

"Why did you keep this a secret?" Sirius asked, through a mouthful of biscuit.

"You all grew up in magical households. You know the prejudices."

"But you're our friend."

"And I didn't want to spoil that," replied Remus, with a sad little smile.

"I can understand that," said James, "but my family isn't the traditional pureblood family. We don't hold the same views as most. And you know that Sirius is nothing like the rest of his family."

"Besides," said Sirius, "it's only one day a month. For the rest of the time, you're completely normal. You keep photographs of hedgehogs, for Merlin's sake!"

"Speaking of which," said James, "can I stick them on the wall? I'm building up a montage."

"Of course," said Remus, locating a particular book. He took the two photographs out from inside the cover, and handed them to James.

"Still as adorable..." James almost cooed, clutching them to his chest.

"Blimey, Rem, you simply can't be a threat to humans. I mean..." Sirius waved towards the photographs. "I'm surprised that you aren't vegetarian."

Remus laughed. "No; the wolf craves blood, even if it has to be in the form of a ham and cucumber sandwich."

"Really? Is that your prey?"

"On occasion. You ought to be grateful."

"Oh, I am, you charming little werewolf."

"Who's a werewolf?" Peter demanded, nearly choking on his tea.

"Well.. Rem," said Sirius.

With a girlish shriek, Peter scrabbled around for something to defend himself from the bookish second year with. He settled on brandishing the teaspoon from his saucer at Remus, who peered at it, confused.

"What are you doing with that, Pete?" James inquired, pleasantly.

"It's silver!" Peter declared, his pale eyes wide.

"It's stainless steel," Remus murmured.

"Does silver even affect you?" asked Sirius, calmly.

"No."

"Garlic?" James suggested.

"That's vampires, dolt," muttered Sirius.

"I knew I should have had garlic bread for dinner last night..." Peter pouted.

"I'm really not afraid of a culinary herb," pointed out Remus.

"Crucifixes?" asked James.

"No."

"Holy Water?"

"No."

"What about-?"

"Is there a cure?" Sirius interrupted.

"Not that we know of," said Remus.

"We'll find one," James promised, with utter confidence.

"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Just you wait."

(-)

"Remus is right. There is no cure," announced James, throwing down the book he had been reading.

They were in the library -voluntarily- and Sirius was growing increasingly anxious under the penetrating gaze of Madam Pince.

"There must be! There's a cure to everything!" Peter protested.

"People invent stuff all the time; maybe we just need to hang on for that," suggested James.

"We could be the inventors!" Sirius declared.

James made a face. "I somehow doubt that Remus would appreciate us testing different unknown potions on him."

"Why not? He's a good sport!"

"You're twelve!"

"So are you!"

"BOYS! Quiet in the library!" Madam Pince snapped, glaring at them.

"Sorry, Madam," the boys muttered, and she left them.

"No," said James, "we shall try and make Remus as comfortable as possible for his... monthlies... and for now, that will have to suffice. Agreed?"

"Unless we find something," interjected Sirius.

"Quite."

(-)

The next morning, and normality was restored. They were almost late for first lesson, and James wasn't yet dressed correctly.

"Sirius, have you seen my Charms essay?" James asked, as he tugged on his Gryffindor tie.

"Why, yes, I set fire to it."

James paused, almost overbalancing as he tried to pull on his socks. "What?"

"Withhold secrets from me, and I will vandalize your homework!" Sirius declared.

"Are you still sour because I didn't tell you my suspicions?" James demanded.

"Yes," replied Sirius, simply. "Are you quite ready yet, Potter? Slughorn won't be impressed."

James huffed. "Well, why didn't Pete and Rem wake us up before they went for breakfast?"

"Remus did. You threw your shoe at him."

"Ah. Any idea where that went?"

"No. You'll have to go bare-foot."

"SIRIUS! You are so unhelpful today!"

"You withheld important information from me! We're supposed to be brothers-in-everything-but-blood!"

"Purebloods are all messed up. I'm sure there's blood in there somewhere," James muttered. "WHERE IS MY LEFT SHOE?"

(-)

Mormfongs: [Moony Wormtail Padfoot Prongs]

The Kinks; Picture Book

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Many thanks to my gorgeous reviewers: Narcissa Raie, it will always be a mystery, owl-eats-waffles, Kimmimaru, Pwwb, Meridas, GixieChic, WizardWay, Sparkling Soul, livi harkness, and Raven-of-the-forests. You are all lovely and wonderful and so bloomin' quick!

Any plans for Valentines Day peoples?

xxxx