Truth, Lies, and Sirius Black

Chapter 11

xxx

Remus wrapped his heavy coat around his shoulders and pulled on his hat and gloves, before snaking a scarf around his neck. This February was colder than most, and Remus found himself dreading exiting any building. He would simply prefer to cuddle up in bed with a cup of cocoa and a nice book – one that had nothing to do with medicine or science. He sighed, noticing through the glass doors of the Chemistry building that it was snowing outside. He shuddered, wishing that summer would come faster.

He glanced at his watch – eleven twenty, which meant he had ten minutes to get to the coffee shop to meet Severus. Moving quickly, for reasons other than the time crunch, Remus power-walked through campus. Finally, when the coffee shop was in sight, Remus couldn't help but break into a run, excited for the warmth. He wrenched the door open and ran straight into Severus, who was shivering on the other side.

"H-Hey, R-r-remus," he said, teeth chattering. Remus nodded to him jerkily and hurried up to the counter. The employee knew him by now and quickly rang up his usual, saving Remus from what would have been an embarrassing attempt at speaking. When he got his coffee, he held it tightly in his has, glad simply to have something warm to touch.

He and Severus sat silently at their usual table for a few moments, their bodies adjusting to the significant change in temperature. When Remus found that his hands were no longer twitching, he brought the paper cup to his mouth and sipped, happy to find that his coffee was just the right temperature. He let out a breath and leaned back into his chair, relaxing.

"It's a bit nippy out," he commented, severely understating the weather. Severus raised a skeptical eyebrow, but did not comment; instead, he changed the topic.

"How are your chemistry classes coming along?" asked Severus. "Now that they aren't just basic classes, how are you faring?"

"Better than I would've thought," said Remus happily. "I suppose it's all finally sinking in. I'm definitely happy that I've stuck it out. This is what I want to do with my life, research and find cures." Severus was grinning.

"I'm glad I could help you realize that dream," he said, lifting his paper cup of coffee in a toast. "And you know, of course, the door is always open for you to come crawling back, begging for my guidance."

"Ha ha," said Remus. "Although it's very likely that I will, so thanks." Severus inclined his head and took a sip of his coffee. Remus continued: "So, have you made your final decision? I mean, it's halfway through sophomore year of college. I know you were having trouble deciding between chemical engineering and computer engineering."

"I'm decided now. I'm majoring in chemical engineering, and minoring in – wait for it! – English!" Remus choked on his coffee in surprise. Severus was waggling his eyebrows at Remus, an amused expression on his face. He'd guessed about how Remus would react, and apparently he'd been right.

"English? Really? Did my prowess at tutoring make you see how beneficial literary analysis is to everyday life?" asked Remus, chuckling. Severus laughed as well.

"Hardly," he said. "Rather, I enjoy these classes that are more about discussion and opinion rather than hard fact. Analysis in terms of literature is all interpretation, whereas analysis in chemical engineering had a solid answer, a yes or a no. I like diversity in my life."

"Sounds reasonable," said Remus. "And as you know, I am officially Biomedical Research, with a minor in Renaissance literature. I'm sure my knowledge of Shakespeare and Marlow will be impressive to the other scientists researching cures for cancer."

"Undoubtedly," agreed Severus, his face straight, but his eyes glimmering with amusement. Remus took a swig of coffee from his cup. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, trying to absorb all of the warmth from the heating unit nearby.

"I must say, I cannot stand this cold," said Remus. "This winter is about a thousand times worse than last year."

"No question," said Severus sadly. "It's depressing that even I don't enjoy this winter. I usually love it. But this winter is all cold and no snow – the worst kind." Remus nodded emphatically.

"It's downright miserable," he said. "If my place didn't have heating, I'd die."

"How are you and…?" asked Severus curiously.

"We're great," said Remus, a light smile gracing his features. "I mean, it's… well, you know. But he's been a real gentleman. Moreso than I ever imagined he could be, after everything from before." Severus nodded, but did not ask further. Remus turned and looked out the window at the snow falling. "It's snowing today," he commented.

"First time in a long time," said Severus. "I'm glad though. If it's going to be this cold, it better snow!" Remus chuckled.

"Agreed," he said. He looked at his watch and sighed. "Well, I'm afraid I've got to go. The bus comes at twelve twenty, and it's already twelve ten. But this has been fun! I never really see you since I moved out."

"I know," said Severus sadly. "My club has gotten really busy, and of course there's school. But we need to do this again soon. I can't believe we haven't seen each other in person for nearly two months!"

"The wonders of technology keep us in touch without us really seeing each other," said Severus. "I can't decide if technology is really so wonderful when things like that happen." Remus nodded.

"Let's not wait another two months to spend time, alright?" said Remus. Severus agreed, and Remus left the coffee shop, waving goodbye.

He walked through the snow, shivering almost immediately. The flakes fell around him like little puffs of freezing cotton, and Remus saw his breath in front of him as he walked. Moaning, he felt a shiver of cold go up his spine. It was highly unpleasant. He found himself longing for a pair of strong arms to be wrapped around him, warming him. Just imagining it, Remus felt a bit warmer, and managed to get to the bus stop just in time. He hopped onto the bus and sat towards the back – he had a long ride.

The bus made its rounds about campus, where students entered and exited all over the place, but Remus simply sat in the back, waiting. Usually, Remus read on his rides on the bus, but today was different. He'd forgotten his book on his bedside table in the morning. He sighed, bored, but finally the bus exited campus, much to the relief of the several commuters to Hogwarts University who lived off-campus. Slowly, each of the commuters that Remus had grown to know so intimately got off at the usual stops. First it was Kid With The Weird Hat, then Blue Haired Girl, and finally Braces, and then it was Remus' turn. He jumped reluctantly from the bus and hurried down the street to the apartment he shared.

He heard the lock click as he turned the key in the gold handle and he pushed the door open, eager to feel warm again. He slammed the door shut behind him, letting out a chilly breath of relief. He threw off his coat, scarf, gloves and hat and hurried into his bedroom and grabbing a hooded sweatshirt, which he then pulled over his head. Still shivering, Remus headed back towards the door to pick up his book bag, keys, and discarded clothing. He picked up each item and put them in their proper respective places.

Keys in hand, Remus hung his coat on a hanger in the closet, and as he shut the door, Remus actually noticed his apartment. His eyes widened a bit as he took in details he hadn't noticed for nearly two months. The white walls had little specks of black in them Remus hadn't initially noticed. The wooden chairs were angled strangely at their table, two angled toward each other, indicating how the two occupants liked to face each other when they spoke. The other two were angled perfectly, as though no one had ever touched them.

Remus blinked. The apartment seemed so sharp in his view for a moment. The cream colored carpet had footprints in it. Remus went back into the bedroom, trying not to notice the details, as it was a bit uncomfortable, but couldn't help it. The right side of the navy-and-pastel blue comforter of the queen-sized bed was folded back, though the left side was pulled up beneath the pillows. The black desk chair and the black desk lamp were two different shades of black, as the chair was old and worn. The poster of KISS above the bed was crooked, but only slightly. Remus shook himself, determined not to look at these details. It was unsettling to notice every little thing about the apartment he shared.

He walked back out into the kitchen and opened his book bag, grabbing one of his books at random. He'd decided long ago that that was the way he liked to study – randomly. Today he would start with – Hamlet. He sighed in relief. He'd just gone through an hour and a half of chemical compositions. He needed to think of anything else. He sat down in one of the wooden chairs and opened Hamlet to the beginning of Act Two and began reading.

Three hours later, Remus awoke with a start, his head pillowed in Scene Two of Act Two of Hamlet. Sitting up groggily, Remus became aware of a stiff pain in his neck and groaned. He'd fallen asleep. He checked his watch and groaned again. He was late for class, too late to even bother going. He'd have to pick up the notes later from someone. He stood stretching, moving to go check the mail.

He reached into the slot backwards – a way he'd discovered not long after moving in, which made leaving the apartment unnecessary – and found a rather large number of letters in his fist. Surprised, Remus headed back into the kitchen to look through it, quickly throwing on the kettle to make himself some tea.

He shuffled through the letters, counting. There were ten! He was surprised. A usual day consisted of no mail at all. Remus flipped through the first six, all of which were daunting bills, before the kettle whistled loudly. Remus hurried back to it and then returned to his pile of mail, tea in hand.

Two of the letters were from Remus' family; one from his aunt, and one from his parents. He shoved them off to the side, deciding to open them later. One more was from his roommate's family, and the final one, which was addressed to Remus, had no return address. Confused, Remus slid the envelope open.

You are cordially invited to the union of:

James Harold Potter

To

Lily Marie Evans

Remus choked on his tea. Spluttering, he fumbled for his phone and quickly dialed Lily's number.

"Lily!" he practically screamed into the phone once she picked up. "Why didn't you call me and tell me James proposed? Why am I finding it out through an invitation to your wedding, you bleeding sod!"

"Hi, Remus," said James. Remus felt himself blushing, and he heard the wide grin in James' voice.

"Hi," said Remus slowly. He looked at his phone. He had dialed Lily's number… So why was James answering?

"Lily couldn't reach the phone in time, and I noticed it was you, so I figured I should pick up, since you never call." Remus squirmed guiltily.

"Yes," he said. "Could I, uh, speak with her, please?"

"Certainly my good friend Moony!" said James, chuckling. "Lily! Remus called you!" Remus heard a surprised shriek from Lily in the background. He felt a bit hurt. Was it really that monumental that he called?

'Yes,' the guilty part of his brain said immediately. 'You kind of ditched them, and you know it. You deserve this very awkward feeling.' Remus glowered at the phone, but then Lily was there, and he was no longer annoyed.

"Remus!" she gasped happily. "Hi! How are you? What's up?"

"Hey," said Remus, calmer now. "Why didn't you call me and tell me when James proposed?"

"Well, you hardly ever pick up anymore, and I never see you, and you never check your email, so I figured I may as well use the only method of communication left to me – the mail!" Remus heard himself huff.

"If you'd left me a voicemail, I would've listened to it!" he said. "But whatever, I suppose it isn't important. You have to tell me what happened. I can't just not know, you know." Lily laughed, and Remus' gut twisted. He had missed Lily more than he'd realized. He hadn't actually seen her… since maybe October? He bit his lip, uncomfortable. "Want to get dinner this evening? Just you and me?"

"Oh, Remus, I'd love to!" she gushed. "This is perfect, because James and Si – and a friend of his are going to some football game, and I'm going to be all lonely!" Remus stiffened, but didn't acknowledge the name she'd almost said.

"That sounds fantastic," he said. "What time, where? You choose! My treat."

"You are too sweet," she said, laughing again. "How about the pizza place, at six?"

"Sounds great," said Remus. "Meet you then!"

"Alright, bye!" Remus hung up and leaned forward onto his hands.

Lily was getting married. She was twenty years old, and she was getting married. Remus felt like a terrible friend. He and Lily had been the closest and best of friends for two years, and now he hadn't spoken to her in over a month or seen her in much longer. He knew why he couldn't stand to be near her. It was a danger. He might run into…

But it was all right tonight. It would be just the two of them, and they would talk about James and wedding plans and other girly things that Remus wouldn't talk about with anyone but Lily.

Something soft rubbed against Remus' leg, and Remus felt a smile spread across his face. He looked down and saw the curly-haired black dog at his feet, rubbing against his leg in an almost comforting manner.

"Hey, Padfoot," he said, reaching down to pet the dog. The dog panted happily in response, then licked its chops and whined softly. Remus chuckled. Sometimes he thought the dog was actually a human. It always knew when he was distressed, and always knew just what to do to make him feel better.

"I know, I know," he said. "It's alright. Just some bad memories." Padfoot yipped and rubbed his head against Remus' knee. Remus smiled. "Don't worry," he said. "I promise it's all okay. It's dinner with Lily. It's safe." At this, the dog seemed satisfied, though he followed Remus around as he got ready for his outing with Lily.

Remus remembered that Lily had always been a stickler for looking fashionable. He dressed cautiously, and then finally, it was time to leave to catch the bus to campus. He scrawled a quick note, explaining where he was, for his mate –

Out to dinner with Lily. Be back before ten.

He looked at the note, unsure of whether or not to add more, and then left it, hurrying to the bus stop.

xxx

Remus entered the pizza shop huffing and puffing, rubbing his hands together, and generally cold. He looked around for Lily's telltale hair, and found her seated not far from the door. He slid into the booth at which she was seated, and she squealed as she realized whom she was with.

"Remus!" she said happily. "I was thinking maybe it was a prank, that you weren't really coming, but here you are!"

"Why wouldn't I come?" asked Remus, hoping that Lily would realize that his question was rhetorical. "I mean, I definitely need to find out what happened when James Potter proposed to my best friend! Details, woman!"

Lily giggled, blushing. "It was all very romantic," she said, but before she could delve into her story, the waiter was there, pen and paper in hand to collect their order. As the waiter shuffled away, Lily turned her gleaming green eyes to Remus again and began.

"So," she said, "he said that we needed to have a real date, because he hadn't actually had one in a while. We spent most nights at home, doing homework or, you know." She blushed and waggled her eyebrows. Remus snorted. "So of course I agreed! He said he'd plan the whole thing, and to keep my plans open. A few days later, he came home from class and said that that night was our date, and it was going to be, and I quote, 'Killer.' He said we were going to a really nice place, and to look all dressy. I wore that dark green dress, you know, the one I got for the Christmas party our last year of high school?"

"Oh, you look great in that dress," said Remus, grinning and feeling like a ponce. He was sitting in a pizza shop discussing marriage proposals and dress colors.

"Yes, James thought so, too," said Lily with a small, smug smile. "Anyway, we went out to this beautiful restaurant, and he said to spend like crazy if I wanted. Obviously, I didn't, but it was a nice gesture." She laughed. "The weird thing is that I didn't even see it coming! Even though it was the classic proposal date, I wasn't even thinking about it!"

"Wow," said Remus, surprised. "I thought for sure you were going to end this story by taking the ring out of James' pocket and proposing to him." Lily laughed and swatted at Remus across the table.

"No, silly!" she said. "But it was great. We had dinner, and just talked about school and stuff. Looking back on it, he made a ton of vague hints about the future. He mentioned kids once, and I wasn't even fazed. I think he was testing the waters. Talked about getting a house and having kids and having careers and stuff, but only in a vague 'maybe' sort of way. I guess my reactions were good, because as soon as my cheesecake came, he was on one knee and shouting as loud as he could about his un-ending love for me." Lily's voice sounded annoyed, but Remus knew it wasn't true. The enormous smile and telltale blush creeping onto her cheeks told him otherwise.

"Exact words," said Remus. "I know you memorized them, so just tell me."

"You know me well," she said, sighing and giggling. "So the waiter walks away after giving us our deserts, and he just stands up. So I figure he's going to go to the loo or something, but he just starts shouting! Raises his hands up and yells, 'Excuse me! Hey, can the band shut up for a minute? HEY!' Obviously, I'm horribly embarrassed at this point, but before I could get upset, James turns back to me – and the entire restaurant is staring at him now – and he gets down on one knee, and I swear, every old lady in the place said 'aww.' And then he grabs my face and forces me to look at him and pulls out the classic little black box, and holds it out for me. And he said…" Lily looked as though she was about to cry. "He said that he never wanted to live a day without me, and that I'd taught him how to be a man and what love really was. He said he wanted us to grow old together, and have kids and grandkids, and always be together."

"And?"

"And would I please make him the happiest man on the planet, and please marry him." Lily sniffed and wiped at her eyes. "You can obviously guess that I cried. But it… it was sort of something I never expected to happen to me."

"Why?" asked Remus, surprised.

"Because I'm so difficult!" she exclaimed. "I argue so much, and I have these stupid anger problems, and I… I used to think that no guy could ever love me, because I was so strange."

"Don't be ridiculous," said Remus, putting one of his hands over one of hers. "I swear, if I weren't into guys, I'd have jumped on you the moment I could." Lily laughed and hiccupped, wiping her eyes with her free hand.

"Thanks, Remus," she said. "But I'm… I'm just so happy. I don't know what to do with myself because I'm so happy. I mean, I thought I was happy before, and this is like a whole new level of happy."

"Practically joyous," said Remus, raising an eyebrow. Lily smiled.

"Exactly," she said.

Suddenly, the waiter appeared with pizza and drinks in hand, and they quickly pulled pieces of pizza from the tray. They were silent for a moment, munching happily on pizza, and Remus was struck with the sensation of familiar camaraderie that he hadn't felt in a long time.

"So, what's up with you?" asked Lily. "I mean, I haven't heard from you in ages. I started to worry that you'd died."

"Very funny," said Remus. "But I've just been doing all the normal things. Going to class, eating, variously becoming more ill than usual, and, y'know, hanging out."

"With who?"

"Other… people…" said Remus awkwardly. Lily said nothing, but took another bite of pizza and looked at him expectantly. He sighed. "Okay, so lately I've been staying in. But you know I was never much of a partier anyway. Sometimes I hang out with Severus Snape - "

"I like Severus Snape," she said. "I met him in class. Last year, I think. He was very nice. Offered to help me out if I needed any. But James laughed at me when I told him about Snape. Snape's been in a couple of my classes, but we haven't established a very close relationship or anything. Sort of, casual acquaintances."

"Ah," said Remus. "Yes, Severus told me he knew you, some time… But yes, we're quite close friends, though we haven't had much time to do anything lately. He's in this club, and they're getting very busy. I think it's a service club. And between that and my schedule with work and class, we haven't had much time to spend with each other. Although, we did earlier today. We got coffee."

"Good," said Lily. "I'm glad you've… got some people. You know, you're always welcome to come and hang out with us."

"Of course," said Remus hesitantly, knowing he would never take her up on the offer. It was far too likely that he would run into – No. He hadn't thought about that in a good long time, and he certainly never wanted to remember it again. But whenever he was with Lily, all the memories resurfaced, and he remembered why he had put distance between himself and Lily in the first place.

"Listen, Remus," said Lily, repeating his gesture and placing her hand on top of his, "I know that what – what happened is still affecting you. And I understand why you don't want to come over to James and my place, but… but please, stay in touch. I really miss you. You're going to come to the wedding, right?" She looked at him pleadingly, as thought she really didn't know the answer, as if she feared she would have to sit here again, and explain to him what had happened at her wedding.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, you know that," he said. "You could invite the devil himself and I would still come."

'They have invited the devil himself,' he thought, a lump rising in his throat. But Lily looked relieved, and that was all it took for Remus to feel better.

"Good," she said. "Petunia is my maid of honor. She's so snooty about the whole thing. I think she's just mad that her younger sister is getting married first. She keeps telling me that I'd better not put her in a hideous dress. It makes me want to, just to annoy her."

"Why is she your maid of honor?"

"Because she's my sister, and I have to. I'm fairly certain Mum would kill me if I asked someone else. Luckily, that means I get to be her maid of honor as well." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm. "She'll probably make me wear orange or something. Something that looks god-awful with my hair." Remus chuckled.

"Well, you can always make her look terrible first," he said.

"I'm thinking I might make her look nice to guilt her into making me look nice," she said thoughtfully. "She's probably going to marry the guy she'd been dating. Tuney's four years older than me, and she's been dating this Vernon guy for like three years. It's really only a matter of time. Luckily, I'm first." She looked smug, and Remus laughed.

"Is everything a competition between you two?" asked Remus.

"Pretty much," said Lily. "I think my anger issues have something to do with it, honestly. Poor Petunia. I must have been so annoying to grow up with."

"I doubt it," said Remus. "Are you having any other bridesmaids?"

"No," said Lily. "Too expensive. James doesn't have any siblings, so isn't required to have anyone be in the wedding party. His best man is… I mean, never mind." Remus stiffened, but tried to play the moment off as though it didn't matter.

"So, what's the date?" he asked.

"April seventeenth," said Lily. "It's a Saturday, so no one will be busy with class or anything, and finals are a good couple weeks off."

"That's great," said Remus through gritted teeth. He grabbed a piece of pizza and took an enormous bite, chewing a little harder than was necessary. This was precisely why he couldn't be around Lily anymore! He hadn't been with her two hours and already she'd brought up Black, twice!

"Look, Lily," he said once he'd swallowed, "I've got to be going."

"Oh, wait, no!" she said pleadingly. "I thought maybe we could go to a movie or something! Or maybe rent one. Please, Remus, don't go." Her pleading made his certainty waver. Maybe she wouldn't mention Black again. Maybe it would be alright, and it would be just like it was before.

Then, the image that he hadn't seen behind his eyelids in over a month burned in his mind, and he physically flinched at the remembered pain. No, no, no. He couldn't do this anymore, ever again. He would go to Lily's wedding, but he couldn't be close to her again. She was too close to that bastard.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he said. "I'll see you around." He dropped some money on the table for the pizza before he left. He walked out of the pizza shop and headed back for the main walkway of campus, which was the quickest route to the bus stop. He looked down, biting his lip, and noticed that his hand was green from the neon of a certain pub to his left.

A cold anger seeped down his spine, and his feet sped up, realizing with horror that it was Thursday. No, this wasn't happening, this wasn't happening. He heard the door of the pub open and close, heard someone calling goodbye to coworkers, and Remus felt himself breaking into a run. No. No. No.

Wait. No! He breathed a sigh of relief – the monster was out with James. He slowed only slightly. He was still eager to get out of the area, eager to get home to be encircled by loving arms and comforted by soothing words. He reached the bus stop a full twenty minutes earlier than expected, and hopped onto the bus, which had luckily just stopped.

xxx

He slammed the door behind him and sat in the entranceway. He took a deep breath and sighed with relief. He was home, and there was no danger from bad memories here.

"I'm home!" he called.

"Hey!" a familiar voice called back. "You're earlier than I expected! By almost an hour, Jesus. You have a good time?" Remus shrugged and opened his arms, begging silently for a hug. A smile split across the taller man's face, and he opened his own arms. Remus snuggled into them, breathing in the scent of the man he'd slowly learned to care for.

"It was fun," he mumbled against Lyon's chest, "but… bad memories, you know."

"I know," said Lyon soothingly, petting Remus' hair. "Don't worry though. You're home now, and you've got me, right?"

Remus smiled and looked up at him. "Yes, I do." Lyon lowered his head and kissed Remus lightly on the lips, turning around and led Remus into the kitchen.

"I saw you got an invite to a wedding," said Lyon, casually seating himself in his usual seat. "Whose? Anyone important? Are you planning on going?"

"It's Lily's wedding; yes, it is important; and yes, I'm going," replied Remus. "I was hoping you'd go with me, because… Black will be there, and he's the last person I want to be around. I'm going to need some support, otherwise I might tear him to shreds." Lyon chuckled.

"You know I'm there for you, tiger," he said, winking. He then stood and moved over to the stove. "D'you want some hot cocoa? It's as cold as a freezer out there, and you're still shivering."

"Hot cocoa would be nice," said Remus, smiling. "Well, keep your schedule clear on April seventeenth, yeah? That's the wedding date. Lily Evans and James Potter. Damn. They're twenty years old."

"Bloody insanity to marry that young," said Lyon, looking up from the kettle. "And I'd know – I'm twenty-three. How old are you again, Remus?"

"I'm nineteen," said Remus. "But I'm twenty in March."

"Ah," said Lyon. "Good, I turned twenty-three in January."

"I know," said Remus, raising his eyebrows. "Remember your gift?" Lyon grinned at him widely.

"How could I forget?" he asked, winking again. "Best one of my life, I swear."

"Naturally," said Remus, also grinning.

"And for your birthday," said Lyon, "you'll get one that's even better."

"I dare to dream," said Remus.

"Hush, you," said Lyon, handing Remus a mug of cocoa. "Now – here's the scoop. Severus told me that he wants to take me to one of his club's meetings or something. Apparently he wants me to be initiated. It sounds kind of creepy. I want to know what you think. Should I go? I mean, he's been going on and on about this club for ages. I would find out what it's all about, but I have this feeling that if I go, I have to join."

The hairs on the back of Remus' neck prickled. The topic of Severus' club was rarely discussed, but Remus often felt a prick of nerves whenever it was mentioned. He'd met a few of the people in the club with Severus, and they were all rather creepy. Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange had married even earlier than James and Lily by nearly two years, and Rodolphus' younger brother, Rabastan, in Remus' opinion, was a bit of a sadist. He talked very often about destroying or demolishing or disemboweling small animals, and it made Remus' stomach churn uncomfortably.

He'd also met Lucius Malfoy and his fiancée, Narcissa – whose last name he did not know – and they were the most sociable of the rest, except for Severus. Lucius enjoyed talking about himself, in a loud pompous drawl, and Narcissa often stared off into space with a vapid look. The only times she exited her reverie were moments when someone complimented her on her truthfully exquisite looks.

Along with them came several men that Remus didn't know too well, and had no interest in becoming friendly with – Mulciber, Avery, Rookwood, Crabbe, Goyle, and twins by the name of Carrow. They were all highly unpleasant and – if Remus was honest – downright slobs. Luckily, Remus had only been forced into their presence once or twice.

"I… don't think you should go," said Remus. "If it's all or nothing, I'd prefer nothing, personally. I wish Severus wasn't in it, to be honest." Lyon considered Remus for a moment, taking a sip of cocoa from his own mug.

"Alrighty then," he said as he lowered the mug from his lips. "I suppose I'll just say thanks but no thanks." Remus sighed with relief. Severus' club was too mysterious for its own good.

xxx

Remus yawned as he awoke, rolling over, reaching for Lyon's body heat, only to find the space vacated. Remus sighed. Of course, it was Friday – Lyon's early shift was today, so they could spend time together in the evening. Remus sat up in one, large, quite graceless movement and moaned, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. When he pulled them back, there were colors blossoming in front of him.

He slowly got himself out of bed. He glanced at the clock, and registered that he still had several hours before his only class. He ambled into the kitchen lazily and switched on the television before heading to the cupboard to get the ingredients for oatmeal.

" – coldest winter in nearly twenty years!" the meteorologist was saying. Remus snorted, unsurprised. Of course, he was twenty years old this year, and it was the coldest one of his life. "And now, over to Julie Bologna with your official weather forecast."

Remus stared at the screen stupidly while the microwave heated up his breakfast, his mouth agape.

"Well, it's going to be another cold one, but that's no surprise! But don't worry, hold out everybody! It'll be up between three and four degrees Celsius next week!" Remus gave a silent, sleepy cheer. "But today, no such luck. It's going to be solidly below zero until this time next week. Get your scarves ready!" Remus nodded to the screen as the microwave beeped, indicating that it had finished its job. He shuffled over to it and pulled his scalding hot oatmeal from it and sat back down, staring at the screen again.

"And with that," said Julie Bologna, "it's back to you, Craig, for the news!"

"Thanks, Julie," said Craig Mortenson, the newscaster. "Now, on a much more serious note, I'm sorry to report that the vicious killings of the serial killer known as Voldemort have escalated yet again. There have been several more murders of Jews in the London area. I'd like to pause for a moment of silence for the families of the victims." Remus froze with his spoon comically halfway to his mouth. He stared at the screen in horror as Craig Mortenson paused with a properly mournful expression.

He felt Padfoot's fur against his leg and let out a breath, suddenly remembering he needed to breathe. Craig looked up from his notes and continued with a somber tone. "The killer known as Voldemort is steadily rising to power, and unfortunately, as of yet, we have no picture of him to warn the public with. The police are supposedly searching for him, but he has sadly left no trace. His followers, many of whom are just as vicious as their leader, have been dubbed by the media as 'the Death Eaters.' According to witnesses, they are identifiable by their dark clothes and white masks. I would like to urge the general public not to go out at night, and if you must, bring a defensive weapon. These are becoming very dangerous times indeed."

Padfoot rubbed his head against Remus' shin, and Remus felt his heartbeat slow a bit. This man – Voldemort – was becoming more powerful each day! Every week, there was a new death, or worse, deaths. Remus pushed his oatmeal away from him, his appetite quite vanished. He shut the television off quickly and headed into the bathroom, fearing that he might puke, something he had happily stopped doing around early October. He stood over the toilet, the image bringing back those horrible memories along with the terrifying newscast.

His oatmeal came up again in a dizzying spurt. Remus heaved, breathing deeply as he allowed himself to collapse onto the floor. He curled up, whimpering pathetically and silently begging to Lyon to come home and fix him again.

'You are still broken, you stupid, sorry sod,' he thought miserably to himself. 'He never really fixed you. He just kept you from totally breaking.' Remus let out a moan, feeling pricks in the back of his eyes.

Remus pushed himself up off the floor. No. He would not let himself become a puddle of misery on the floor of his bathroom for that piece of shit. He stood, stumbling into the wall briefly before getting his balance and taking another deep breath. He brushed his teeth quickly and headed back into the kitchen and finished his oatmeal.

xxx

Remus gloried in the heat. It was so warm that he didn't even need to wear a scarf. He held several heavy grocery bags in his hands, and he was headed for the bus stop, a new bounce in his step thanks to the weather.

It was, all in all, a very good day. The sun was peeking through the clouds randomly, occasionally exposing Remus to the first sun in months. Valentine's Day was mere days away, and he and Lyon had a very good, special time planned – some dinner, and some classy sex. Remus felt confident about his science classes, and enjoyed his Shakespeare classes. He and Lily had spoken again, over the phone, and they'd had a wonderful conversation about chocolate, James, the weather, and the next time they could possibly get together. Indeed, nothing could go wrong about today. It was simply too perfect.

And then, the bag of Remus' plastic grocery bag split, and the eggs tumbled to the ground and broke, the carton of milk rolled away, and the plastic bag around the bread was covered in egg yolk.

"Damn," said Remus, annoyed, stooping down to clean up.

"Need any help?" Someone squatted down to help Remus, and he looked up appreciatively to thank him or her.

Piercing gray eyes, black hair swooping down to lay awkwardly just above the nose. Light stubble on the chin. A radiant, helpful smile that twisted when gray met amber. And then the most confused, terrified expression Remus had ever seen. He was sure his own expression mirrored it.

Black didn't move, but Remus snatched up the milk and the bread, ignoring the yolk-covered bag as is slid in his hand. He stood quickly and turned to walk away.

"Hi, Remus," said Black behind him, a hopeful edge to his voice that Remus did not miss. He flinched involuntarily at the greeting. He didn't reply, but walked away as quickly as he could with his arms laden with groceries.

He knew that he would never cross this street, at this time ever again. He checked his watch and the street signs just to make sure. He would never, ever run into that backstabbing, cheating, motherfucking bastard ever again. He would make sure of it. If he had to move to China, he'd get away from him.

It didn't matter how beautiful the stupid jerk was. It didn't matter that Remus had thought he'd known what love was with him. All that mattered was that Remus was as far away from him as possible, at all times. He shuddered as he sat on the bus. He replayed the incident in his mind, concluding that he'd acted just right for his sanity.

It was the first time in who knew how long that he'd seen Black. Since August, was it?

'If only it could've lasted longer,' he thought wistfully. For he'd known that he couldn't avoid the bastard forever, not if they lived in the same place and attended the same school and had a few of the same friends. No, it was impossible to avoid him completely forever, but he had every intention of avoiding him as much as possible.

For the second time in a week, the image from Fletcher's pub burned into his retinas, just as painful and vivid as that first moment. He saw the exact curve of Black's arm, the exact sound that stranger was eliciting due to Black's ministrations.

Remus realized that his breath was coming in short, painful gasps, and he breathed slowly through his nose, trying not to vomit again.

'You are over this,' he said to himself. 'It has been six months. You have hated him for six solid months, and you've stopped puking for four! I absolutely do not accept this from you, Remus John Lupin! Do you understand me? You threw up last week from the whole Voldemort thing, not because of Black! Now get your shit together!'

Standing and exiting the bus, Remus felt more confident. He no longer felt ill, and the image was gone from his mind. Instead, he was thinking of Lyon. His cute, funny Lyon, who tried so hard to be exactly what Remus needed. And he really was what Remus needed. A safety net that would never abandon him or break him, someone who looked at Remus and thought that he'd found Jesus Christ wandering about the Hogwarts University campus. Black had never thought that way about Remus. Black had considered their entire relationship a joke. He'd tricked Remus, just to hurt him. But Lyon? Lyon was faithful. Lyon was attractive and strong. Lyon was wonderful, despite being flawed.

And that was what Remus needed. He needed someone flawed, because if he had what he thought was perfection, he would get far too wrapped up in it to see the hideousness and evil on the other side.

Remus opened the door to see Lyon seated at the kitchen table. He beamed at Remus and stood up.

"Welcome home, love," said Lyon, opening his arms invitingly.

xxx

A/N: I'm sorry it's so short. But there really isn't much else to say in this chapter. It's like chapter one all over again. It's just… all rising action again, you know? I have to set up the plot. Gasp.

Anyway, whoever is lolling heartily about Remus and Lyon, I applaud you. Whoever is flipping shit about it, screaming at me about 'wtf am I thinking, Lyon is a total tool, omg not as cool as Sirius ever omg!' I love you. You're SO right. :P

Sidenote, Julie Bologna is a real person. She does the weather for my hometown local news, and I've always found her name a trifle hilarious. I mean, seriously? Bologna? Although it's not pronounced 'boloney.' She's classy and calls it 'bo-lown-ya.' Riiiight. Suuuure, Julie. :D

So, I hope you enjoyed chapter 11. I loved your responses to chapter 10, by the by, it really made me happy. Turns out destroying the happiness of beloved characters is the ticket to some seriously awesome reviews. Too bad it's all uphill from here. Sigh. Reviews plz? Big Padfoot-puppy dog eyes? 8(

Also, I am now moved into college and have started classes. Do not expect much for a long ass time, and praise the lord that I was nice and updated before I began.

Love and kisses.

K