Waking up wrapped around a boy is not something my mother had ever prepared me for. Hearing his heartbeat soothingly in his chest. Having his warmth cradling me so tightly I don't even need a blanket. The feeling of our ankles wrapped together as though someone has tied up a present with string. His fingers curled lightly through my hair. His breath soft against my collarbone.

I force myself to remember that this is Gale Hawthorne, not some character out of a book. He's actually here. I want to roll away, but I can't. This is so… peaceful. Calming.

"No nightmares," Gale murmurs, shifting in his spot. The sound of his voice startles me. I thought he was sleeping. I blink a few times, craning my neck to get a good view of his face. "Right?"

He blinks a few times as well, his gray eyes adjusting to the light before focusing on me. I'm left speechless. Why is he still here? Why hasn't he let go yet?

"Right," I finally answer. He stretches his hand and uncurls his fingers from my hair, reaching up and brushing my bangs away. "You're still here," I blurt.

Gale lifts an eyebrow. "So?"

"I—" I what? I don't know what to say.

We stay frozen like that for a few minutes. Our ankles still entwined, sharing the same breath. Gale must finally come to his senses because he moves in his spot. His grip had been the only thing keeping me so close, and with it gone I roll back onto my own blankets. I snatch back my ankle as though I've been burned and prop myself up on my elbows before sitting up completely.

Gale leans off of his blankets and pulls on his shoes, looking up toward the sky before shoving himself on his hands and marching away.

What?

I groan and drop my head into my hands, rubbing at my eyes. I don't get it and I'm not even sure I want to understand at this point. I sit like this for a long time, wondering what the hell is going on inside Gale Hawthorne's head and debating if I should get up to get breakfast or not. When I finally pull my face from my hands I see Posy marching over, an extra apple in her hand, and plopping down next to me.

"Good morning!" she cheers brightly

I force a smile, "Morning, Posy." She thrusts an apple in my direction and takes a bite of her own, frowning at the taste. "Sick of apples?"

"Yes," she frowns. "I want blueberry bread like Momma used to make." I swing my arm around her shoulder and give her a gentle squeeze. I'm not sure if we're ever going to have blueberry bread again. That sits hollow in my chest as I munch on my apple. As we eat she turns to me, "I didn't hear you yelling last night!"

"I didn't have a bad dream last night," I tell her.

Posy grins, "Is it because Gale is there? He always fights away the monsters in the woods when he stays with me. Maybe he does the same for you!" I choke on a bit of my apple and cough to make it not so obvious. Posy waits, grinning, for my answer. I can only lift my shoulders as I continue to dislodge the apple from my throat. Posy giggles a bit. "Are you and Gale going to get married?" she asks.

By now I've cleared my throat of apple and I thank God that I haven't taken another bite.

"No, Posy," I blurt.

"But you're sleeping like a mommy and a daddy do. Are you going to have a baby?"

"No," I say again. I desperately wish I had younger siblings so I knew how to explain this better. "Gale is um," my friend? Is he even my friend? "He's helping me get over my nightmares."

"So you snuggle?"

"Posy, we don't—" I sigh, not knowing how to answer her at all. Eventually I figure out how to respond. "Why don't you ask him, hm?"

"I did," she responds, crossing her teeny arms over her chest. "He said," Posy changes her voice, low and deep, "mind your own business Pose." She throws her hands up and I bite back my smile. Spot on impersonation if I do say so myself. "What a brat!"

"He is a brat," I nod. A very confusing mysterious brat that doesn't make any sense to me.

Mine and Gale's routine carries on for the next few days in silence. We don't talk during the day, but every night he holds me. When I wake screaming, he calms me. When I don't, he lets me sleep.

Eventually I find myself looking for him during the day, desperate to get just a simple glance of him. Sometimes his eyes meet mine, other times I watch him for a few moments before looking away. Gale finally gives me boots, strong hiking ones that are meant for rough terrain. He throws my sandals away and with it goes the last of my old life. I'm no longer the mayor's daughter. I'm a survivor, just like everyone else. When he goes on runs, I worry. When he gets back, I'm relieved.

And every morning I wake up in his arms, and every morning he walks away without a goodbye, only to return at night.

"Maybe he likes you," Delly offers. She's been in a much more upbeat mood after spending so much time with Proja, and I can't say I blame her. The two of them laugh at things that aren't funny and I really do believe that they're helping each other get over their losses. She's smiling again, that same Cartwright smile she's always had. "You're a catch, Madge."

"It's the end of the world, Del," I frown, "I don't need motivational dating advice." Delly giggles and nudges me with her arm. "Gale doesn't like me he's not allowed to like me."

"Well maybe he's just trying to cope with his losses then," she shrugs. "Oh," Delly catches herself and her cheeks run pink. "That made me sound as though I think he's using you! And I don't think that at all, Madge." I smile a bit to show her I hadn't assumed that's what she was saying, and she eases. "I think that maybe, in times like this, people just need other people to cling onto."

I drop my gaze down to the river that flows in front of us. Was Taftan clinging onto me as well? His face haunts my thoughts. His bright blue eyes and sunshine golden hair. The one dimple he always had on his left cheek when he smiled wide enough, but never on his right. I get a bitter taste in my mouth thinking about him. How different would things be right now? Would he have started to do what Gale has done, pulling me into his arms at night to quiet the screaming in my head? Would he still bring me gifts? Tell me stories?

"Madge," Delly waves her hand in front of my face. "Are you okay?"

It takes me a minute to blink away my tears but eventually I nod. "I just miss him," I whisper.

"Taftan?" she asks. I nod. "Hey, me too." Her hand reaches out and grabs mine.

And I feel guilty for all the time I've spent with Gale after his death, but I don't think I can tell Delly this. Taftan didn't like Gale, at least I don't think. Not very much if at all. And I'm so willingly getting over his death, accepting Gale's embrace at night even though it confuses me.

"I just wanted to say goodbye," I whimper. Delly pulls me into her arms and squeezes tightly, allowing me to cry. "I'm so sorry, Delly."

"Hey, don't be sorry about anything," she soothes me. "It's okay to miss him. I miss Loaf every day, but I know he wouldn't want me upset." This only makes me feel worse, because when Loaf died she would shove people away and I let her stand on her own. Delly pulls away and lifts my chin so I look into her eyes. "It's okay to be happy with Gale."

I jerk out of her arms so quickly she gasps, shocked at my reaction. I pace away from her and wipe my own tears, sniffling until I can breathe normally again. It's not okay to be happy with Gale because I'm not with Gale and I'm not happy.

"Madge," Delly says quietly. She rests her hand on my shoulder. "Maybe Gale just sees something in you that he needs."

"He doesn't need me," I bite out.

"You don't know that," she responds. "He lost his two best friends during the outbreak, Proja told me. Gale put them down himself." I glance over my shoulder, lifting an eyebrow in confusion, only to watch her nod. "Maybe he doesn't want to lose you too."

"Undersee," Gale's gruff voice scares me suddenly. I spin around quickly, ending up with my nose in his chest. He grunts and takes a step back, watching me with those hunter eyes of his. "What are you doing?"

I glance down at the items in my hands and frown. "I was going to do some laundry," I answer politely, though I'm not sure why. If he gets to return to being hostile after a certain hour then I suppose I should do so as well.

"You do that every day," he murmurs. "Want to come with me?"

His offer startles me. "Where?"

"Snare run," Gale answers. "Put those boots into some good use," he adds, gesturing at my feet. I'm still not used to the feel of them, and I think they're giving me blisters. "Break 'em in."

I continue to stare at him. "What?"

Gale physically resists rolling his eyes. I can tell. He readjusts how he's standing and looks down his nose at me. His gaze always makes me feel small. "I need to go on a snare run and I figured that you would like to get out of laundry for once. Get a change of scenery."

"I'm not quiet," I tell him. Gale narrows his eyes questioningly. "To hunt, people have to be quiet. Delly tells me I walk around like an elephant."

He smirks. At least I think he smirks. "I'm not hunting, just collecting what the snares have caught." And yet still, I hesitate. The clothes in my arms aren't that dirty, they can probably be worn again once or twice before washing them. Especially if we're trying to save soap. "You're allowed to say no," he grunts. "I just thought I'd offer."

"Yes," I nod. "I'll come." Maybe he expected me to say no because Gale's eyebrows lift to his forehead. "Just give me a minute to put this all away." He nods, allowing me to run off and place everything back where it belongs. When I'm all ready he jerks his head and motions for me to follow him.

I almost expect everyone's eyes to follow us as we make our way from the camp, but when looking out on the crowd I realize that they're all preoccupied with their own lives. The few who do spot us don't make anything of it, just returning to their jobs in an instant. If we were still in District 12 everyone's eyes would've followed Gale and I until we were out of sight, but here it's like no one cares.

Maybe it's because they don't anymore.

And then I wonder why I do.

We walk in silence for a few minutes before he makes a cut down a path that's sort of hidden. I wouldn't have been able to catch it if it wasn't for Gale leading. "Do you make these runs every day?" I ask. Silence with Gale makes me uneasy. I prefer conversation, even if it is awkward and forced.

"Mostly," he nods. "Rory likes to come but he's helping Prim with organizing the medicine shack today."

Before we fall into the silence I offer another question. "Do you prefer doing the run on your own or with Rory?" Gale stops without an answer and stoops down, ruffling a bush until he finds one of his traps. Two rabbits. I frown as he pulls them into his hands, and then wince as he snaps their necks. "Why do you do that?"

"Painless kill," Gale murmurs. "You want to eat something other than apples, don't you?"

I snort instantly and Gale glances at me over his shoulder, lifting an eyebrow. "I'm so sick of apples," I say sheepishly.

"Ah, that's right, you probably miss your fancy French toast and bacon." Gale tosses his kills into the bag slung around his back and starts walking again. But I don't follow. I watch him walk. He must realize my elephant footsteps aren't behind him and he spins around, watching me also. "What?" he asks.

"That was rude," I answer simply. Taftan never would've said anything like that to me. "Apologize."

"I wasn't trying to be rude, Undersee, I was simply stating you're probably going mad not having a gourmet meal every day." I cross my arms tightly over my chest and watch his mouth curve upwards. "Okay, that was rude. I'm sorry." Still, I stay where I am. "I formally withdraw my earlier statement, whether it be true or not, and offer you my most sincere apologies." Gale cocks an eyebrow. "Better?"

"Better," I nod. The curve of his mouth returns, but I'm too pessimistic to call it a smile. "You know," I say as I catch up to him, "I never asked for those things. The fancy meals or… or the pretty dresses." He winces at my words. Must remember where they're from. "I knew what our District was like, how corrupt and hopeless it was. I'm 17, Gale, it's not like I could've done anything about it."

Gale grunts. "I know."

"Then why were you always so terrible to me about it?" I ask. "You made me feel—"

I stop talking as he spins around, halting in his spot again. "Feel what?" he demands. His eyes bore into mine, his stance is intimidating.

"You made me feel awful," I whisper. It's so hard to hold his gaze but if I don't then he wins. And I can't let him win. "You made me feel like a spoiled brat but I never wanted anything that I had." Gale's mouth parts slightly. Not to the point where he's going to say something, but more out of being… intrigued. "My family was hardly around for me. They were loving, yes, but I often wished I could've just been… normal."

And it's true. All I wanted was to fit in. All I wanted was more than three friends. For my dad to be home for dinner at night, for my mother to play the piano with me again.

"I want to show you something," Gale finally says. He spins on his heel and jerks his head. "Follow me."

Gale's walking so quickly, taking such long strides, that I nearly have to run to keep up with him. He ducks under branches because he's so freaking tall and edges through bushes. "Gale," I protest. "Slow down! Where are you going? What about the snares? What about—"

I pause when we reach a clearing. Below us sits a valley, stretched out as far as the eye can see until it dissolves into another forest. He stands still, watching me I think, and waits for me to react.

But I don't know what to say.

I take a few steps forward and scan the area below us. It's beautiful. Breathtaking. Too stunning for words. Nothing I've ever seen before in my life. Inside me there's a bit of relief. There are still beautiful places left. Maybe District 12 is gone but there's an entire world out there untainted by the Capitol. Clean. A fresh start.

"I come here to think," Gale finally says, walking over to me. He reaches out and offers me something, and out of reflex I accept what it is. I nearly drop the strawberry when he places it in my hand. "It's not too far from camp, or the District."

Suddenly I don't know if I want to be staring at the strawberry he's just handed me, the view in front of me, or him.

"It's lovely," I conjure. My eyes drop to the fruit I hold. When I look back up he gestures behind us to a small bush. Barely any berries left. "Thank you," I breathe.

"I know they're your favorite," is all he says. Gale drops himself down to the ground, slinging his backpack off and tossing it to the side. After a bit of hesitation I take the spot beside him. "It's safe to eat," Gale tells me, his face morphing amusedly. "Go on." And again I find myself hesitating. He brings up his hand again, having held one for himself as well, and taking a bite into the strawberry as if to prove it to me.

And finally, when I take the bite, it's as though everything is okay. The sweet taste of my favorite fruit fills my mouth and I moan without meaning to, sighing as the juice flows over my tongue and letting my eyes drift shut. Gale reaches over, wiping a bit of juice from my chin. My eyes fly open immediately but he doesn't retract his hand, just finishes wiping my face gently.

Our eyes lock, and the question spills from me at once.

"Do you like me?"

Gale's eyes widen.

"Because Taftan liked me and he never told me and now he's dead."

Gale's eyes narrow.

"I don't know what it would've changed if I knew, really. Maybe nothing. Maybe everything. And now I feel guilty because I like you, which is stupid—"

"It's not stupid," Gale cuts me off. I try my hardest to unravel Gale Hawthorne. The moonlike stare he holds, the slight parting of his mouth. My cheeks run red as I realize what I've said. What I've admitted. I drop my gaze, but his hand is on my cheek, pulling me back up to look at him even though I can't hold his gaze. "It's not stupid," he repeats gently.

"Every time I get attached to someone I lose them," I whisper. My parents. Taftan. I'm even drifting from Katniss and Peeta. And now I'm attached to Gale. My eyes seek him out almost always without even meaning to. I find myself longing for night in which he'll wrap me in his arms again, whether it means something to him or not. It makes me feel safe. Protected. "I can't lose you too."

"I'm not going anywhere," Gale murmurs.

"Neither were they." Eventually my eyes climb up to his again. "You can't promise me that you won't, too."

"Yes I can," he grunts. "I won't leave you, Madge."

My stomach twists at the use of my name. "Why not?" His thumb carefully strokes my cheek and I feel my eyes filling with tears. "What changed?" Gale lifts his shoulders slightly, but that isn't enough for me. "I need to know what changed." Why I'm no longer the mayor's daughter to him, why he thinks it alright to do what he's done with me. Finally his hand drops. "Please."

"I watched my best friends fall," Gale croaks. The vulnerability to his voice gives me goosebumps. The look on his face brings me to tears. "Thom, he—he was changing into one of them. We were trying to get to his family and we didn't… we didn't make it." I want to comfort him but I don't know how. Slowly I lift one of my hands to his. "And then Thom didn't make it, Bristel either, and it was just me, running through the District alone," he murmurs, dropping his gaze to our hands. "And then you were there."

"Gale—"

"And you made Posy laugh when I couldn't, and you didn't let anyone look at you funny because of the rumors. Not even me." His eyes are still on our hands. He slowly laces his fingers with mine. "If they hurt you never let it show, you just kept going."

"Everyone did that," I whisper. We all powered through. "Not just me."

"You were the first one who lost everyone," Gale tells me. He finally looks back toward me, his pupils dilated. "And you didn't stop. Not even for a second."

"I tried to," I remind him. "I tried to stop." He just wouldn't let me.

Gale shakes his head and lets his free hand lift up to my cheek again. "We all get lost sometimes."

"I'm not as strong as you think I am," I tell him, blinking back tears. "I don't sleep, I—"

"Don't," Gale growls. He drops his forehead to mine, narrowing his eyes. "Don't you do that." Gale searches my face for a very long time. I wonder what he's looking for. I wonder if he finds it, because he whispers, "I'm going to kiss you now." My throat is entirely too dry to form a response, so when he leans down I can only tilt out of the way. "Madge," he breathes.

"I d-don't—"

"Don't what?" he asks. "Don't want me to kiss you?"

"No, I do," I tell him. My eyes squeeze shut and reach forward, grabbing at his shirt and holding it tightly. He's too close. He's too far. "I just don't—"

I don't deserve it. I don't deserve this. Gale kissing me? Why? Why should I get to kiss anyone ever again? Why didn't I just disappear into the District when I had the chance?

Gale only continues to inch closer, his lips stretching toward mine. And maybe just this once it will be okay. Maybe Posy's right, I can be happy. I don't have to keep blaming myself. He dips down, our breath mingling, and tips my chin up.

I let my eyes drift shut. I almost feel his lips on mine.

But he never kisses me. Because mere moments before he does, we hear screams from back at camp.

A/N: Whoops. Characterization okay? Thoughts or predictions? Let me know!