For a moment, Scarlett had to steady herself against the wall as a bout of nausea washed over her. It was odd how deeply cruel words could cut, how the thought of a physical blow seemed merciful in comparison to these venomous sentences strung together by the very gossips she hated. In a mere matter of minutes the blissful existence she had known until now had shattered around her like tiny shards of taunting glass, and Scarlett couldn't help but wish beyond hope that she was having another nightmare. It felt like everyone around was in on the trick and laughing, but what hurt the most was that she had been deceived by the one she needed. Seeing as Melly turned the corner, she took in a deep breath to calm the unsteadying nerves that had her leaning on the wall for support, and she steeled her spine and plastered a false smile on her face.
"My dear, there you are. Captain Butler said you were looking for me," Melanie said kindly, but the genuine smile on her lips faded as she took in Scarlett's pallor. "Darling you're so pale. Are you not feeling well? Should I go get—"
"No," Scarlett cut in swiftly. "No, don't be silly. I'm fine. I only need some fresh air. I'll just step outside for a moment. It's so warm in here."
"Are you sure?"
"Oh don't be a goose Melly. Of course I'm sure. I'll just be a minute."
"I could go with you," Melanie suggested.
"Would you stop fussing? I'm fine," she replied with more bite than she'd intended. "I'll be right back."
Hastily, Scarlett slipped out the front door and down the stairs onto the dark streets. The cool night air felt like relief against her skin, and she inhaled the deepest breath the tightly strung corset would allow. With every breath she willed her thunderous heartbeat to stop its pounding, but it seemed to have a mind of its own, much like her thoughts which ran like wildfire. Tears pricked behind her eyes, and she squeezed them shut, forbidding their release. A few drops escaped at the corners, and Scarlett swiped them away with the back of her hands before they could trickle down the curves of her cheeks. Taking one quick glance back at the home filled with the duplicitous guests, her stomach lurched and she knew she wouldn't be able step a foot over the threshold. Every click of her heeled slippers down Ivy Street pushed the little brick house farther and farther into the distance and brought on a sense of composure and momentary alleviation of the throbbing pain that spread through her like a disease.
Rhett, who had been waiting for Scarlett, grew faintly worried when he saw that Melanie was not in his wife's company, and he was by her side within a few strides.
"Mrs. Wilkes, have you seen Scarlett?"
"Yes. She stepped outside for a moment. I don't believe she was feeling well. I was just about to check on her, but she seemed to want to be alone."
"Thank you. I'll go and see if she is all right and ready to go home," Rhett replied casually before heading out the door to find her.
The faint worry had grown considerably with Melly's words, and even more so when he saw that Scarlett was not on the front steps or anywhere nearby the house. Looking up the street, he saw the dark outline of her figure, and it calmed his nerves. It didn't take long for Rhett to mount his carriage, without even taking the time to say goodbye to either Wilkes, and have it right by her side in an instant. Hearing the sound of the hooves and rolling wheels of the carriage, Scarlett realized Rhett was trailing her but pretended otherwise. When he called her name, she ignored him and continued forward, not even bothering to give him a sideways glance. If there was any annoyance on Rhett's part due to the fact that she'd run away without a word to a single soul let alone her own husband, this immaturity tipped the scales. Halting the carriage, he jumped out and had her arm in a vice-like grip in an instant.
"Let me go you brute," she cried trying to shake free of his hold.
"No, I don't believe I will. Not until you get into the carriage."
"No. Let me go! I'm not going anywhere with you."
"And just why is it that you find my company suddenly so unappealing?" he asked while his dark eyes bored into hers as they searched for answers.
"You think I'm a fool don't you?"
"For running off in the middle of the night; yes. Where exactly did you think you were going?"
Glowering fiercely, she vehemently tried to break free of the hand that dug into the skin of her arm. "I hate you! Let go of me before I scream."
"My dear, I fear you haven't understood me, so let me put it this way. You are getting into the carriage. Whether it is of your own volition or not, now that is your choice, and I don't give a damn if you wake all of Atlanta with your shrieks of protest. Well, what have you decided?"
When she tried to slap his face and kick him in the shin, Rhett said, "So be it," and hoisted her over his shoulder in one quick motion.
Pummeling his broad back proved ineffective, and Scarlett submitted to his strength when he sat her down in the carriage. She turned her back on him coldly and remained mute, though it was plain enough to see that she was seething.
"Don't even think of jumping out. I'd hate to have to go through this whole debacle again, but I'd do it."
"I'm curious, my dear, he continued calmly. "What has brought on this sudden rage? I assume something happened at the party."
Rhett saw how her green eyes flashed, and he prepared himself for a rebuke that never came.
"Ah yes, silence. I suppose there's a first for everything, though I never truly believed this day would come. Perhaps I should take advantage of this once in a lifetime opportunity."
From the corner of his eye he saw how she shifted in her seat and bit her lip. It was only a matter of time before she spoke, so he decided to wait it out. There was a certain danger looming in the silence that lay between them, much like the eerie lull before ominous clouds paint the sky with a heavy black and release a tumultuous rainfall during a ferocious storm.
"I don't see why you're so upset that I left," Scarlett finally muttered, breaking the fragile silence. "I thought you'd be happy to have me off your hands to do as you please. I'm sure your mistress misses you. I wonder how longs it's been since you've seen her, but I guess it would have been difficult to sneak off when you've had to sleep in my bed for the past two months. I'm certain you're glad to know that you can return to your old bedroom. To think of all the torturous hours you've had to spend in my company. You must feel relieved that—"
"Who told you?" he interrupted forcefully.
"No one told me."
"Yes, I'm sure you came up with this all on your own. Now tell me who told you! Ashley?"
"No. You made sure of that, didn't you?" she answered with unmistakable venom as she turned hard green eyes on him. "I'm sure you would have liked it if he had. It would have given you another reason to hate him, wouldn't it? You might as well tell me the truth I already know everything else. I don't see why it even matters who told me."
"Tell me!" he ordered.
"I overheard India Wilkes and a group of other ladies speaking."
"I'll wring her neck," he muttered murderously as the thinly veiled ire made its way to the surface. "You didn't think you owed me the chance to explain myself?"
"Do you deny it?"
"You wouldn't care if I did or didn't. You never even gave me the opportunity to deny it. It makes me believe you're happy with this sudden revelation. It warms my heart to know how much faith you have in me, my dear."
"Oh! I hate you, I hate you I do!" she cried as she jumped down from the carriage in front of their mansion. "How long did you really think you could keep this hidden from me? Did you think I would never find out? Well, I've known all along that you've been keeping something from me, and now I know what it is."
"And what exactly is it that you think you know?"
"What do you mean? I know about your whore!"
"Ah yes, well you mean whores. There were several."
For a moment Scarlett couldn't breathe. It felt like the wind had been sucked dry from her lungs, and for a sickening instant, she thought she might do the unthinkable and faint.
"You mean to brag to me about—that?" she choked.
"But Mrs. Butler, I'm only giving you the truth. Isn't that what you've been seeking?"
"Go! Go on to your whores!" Scarlett shouted with a renewed bout of strength. "See if I give a damn Rhett Butler because I don't."
"Indeed? That must be why you are shouting in the middle of the street," Rhett added mockingly.
She flounced off in a rush of consuming rage and slammed the front door behind her. In hopes of getting to her bedroom in time to lock the door on Rhett, Scarlett hurried up the steps, but he wasn't far behind. He had his foot in the entrance before she even had the time to reach for the door, making it impossible for her to hide herself away.
"Where do you think you're going? This conversation isn't over."
"Isn't it? What's there left to talk about? I understand everything perfectly now," she answered coolly.
"Indeed? Please enlighten me."
"I always found it strange that you kept me at distance. You never once told me you loved me until I confessed to caring for you. I used to believe it was because you couldn't love me since I—well I couldn't remember our life together, but I never thought it was because you never loved me. It must have been difficult to play the loving husband. Well, I don't need your pity anymore, so you can stop pretending and return to your bedroom."
"You believe it was a lie when I told you I cared for you?"
"Hasn't everything been? Strange isn't it? After all the times you've admonished me for keeping things from you, I discover everything you've ever said has been a lie."
"And this is coming from the woman who professed to loving me? How little you must think of me. It's a wonder you could claim to care for me when you've discarded me with such ease."
"I don't love you."
Rhett's dark eyes glittered dangerously, but his face remained an immovable mask. "Don't you? How fickle. You made a good imitation of it up until tonight, but perhaps I haven't given your performance skills enough credit."
"I could say the same about you, couldn't I? The man I thought I loved doesn't even exist," Scarlett answered with just as much acid.
Something snapped within him, and a fierce savagery was unleashed. For the first time Scarlett grew frightened by the queer light in his eyes as he approached her, by the way the blank canvas of his face darkened with a visible wrath, and she wished he would go back to being the emotionless man she'd grown accustomed to.
"You little fool," he said roughly as he pinned her shoulders to the wall. "You know nothing. You want to know the truth? You want to know why I slept across the hall, why I bedded whores, why I've kept you at a distance and why I wouldn't touch you? Because you'd banished me from your room. The thought of having another child with a blackguard like me was too much for your refined tastes," he laughed shortly. "No, you and your precious Ashley thought it would be best if we no longer shared a bed, and so I left you your chaste bed and found solace elsewhere. You weren't expecting that were you, my pet? How does it feel knowing that you—"
"Stop it! Please stop."
"What? Isn't this what you wanted; the truth?"
"Stop! I won't listen," she shouted in protest while pushing at his chest.
"Yes, you will listen. You wanted the truth and now I'm giving it to you. You want to know how we met? It was during the Wilkes' barbeque when you were rebuffed after confessing a deep and undying love for Ashley. Certainly you know how that turned out. Not very well for you I'm afraid. Of course you kept an obstinate torch lit for a man who not only rejected you and married another woman but also never felt anything more for you than any man might feel for a common whore, something I undoubtedly have intimate knowledge of as you well know now."
"Stop it!" she cried out as her throat tightened with a buildup of unreleased tears.
"And this where we ended up dear wife, with you mooning after a childhood fantasy while I chased after women of ill-repute, both sleeping in separate bedrooms and pretending that what we have between us is a marriage. So you may want to paint me out to be the villain, the coarse man who couldn't stay faithful to his wife, but the dissolution of our marriage does not rest in my hands. You and your indomitable need to chase after the moon is what destroyed any hope we might have had for—"
"Get out!"
Dropping his hands from her shoulders, Rhett watched as Scarlett buried her face in her hands in hopes of rubbing away a throbbing headache. The acceleration of her heartbeat dwindled as her breathing slowed to its regular pace.
"The truth is not always glamorous as you imagined it to be, is it?"
"I wish I'd never laid eyes on you," she threw at him coldly as she met his gaze. "I wish you never let me believe you cared something for me. I wish—oh! What was the point in lying? Were you trying to punish me for making a fool of you, deciding that this was the perfect opportunity to humiliate me? Well congratulations, you've done an excellent job. You should be proud; really you should because I don't think I could feel like a bigger fool. That's what you wanted isn't it? Well, there, I've said it. Now get out! I want to be alone."
"Do you honestly think I went through all the trouble of keeping things from you because I wanted to hurt you? I wanted to give our lives together another chance. I thought you might come to love me if you didn't have Ashley consuming your mind. I thought there was a hope that we might be happy. Haven't you been happy up until tonight?" Rhett asked, his voice a smooth velvet. "I never wanted you to find out like this Scarlett. I never wanted you to find out at all."
When he saw how her blazing green eyes brimmed over with tears, he pulled her into his arms and cradled her head against his chest.
"Don't cry darling," he murmured softly, and she was comforted by the soothing tone of his voice and the warm arms wrapped around her.
For a moment she could almost forget that this horrible mess ever happened, that this man who held her tightly loved her, but he didn't and he never had.
"Why are you doing this to me?" Scarlett whispered brokenly before tearing herself from his arms. "Get out."
"No, I won't let you throw me out. Not again."
"Fine," she snapped. "Then I'll leave. I don't want to spend another second under the same roof as you."
"Indeed? And where will you go?"
"Why should you care?"
Scarlett rushed out of the room with the full intention of leaving, but as she made her way down the long staircase she realized that there was nowhere to run. The only one she wanted to turn to was the same man she was trying to escape, and for the first time since that fateful day she woke up without her memory, a complete and utter loneliness washed over her in one overshadowing wave. Seeing the dining room at her right, she walked over and lit a candle before taking a seat. Scarlett watched as the glow of the flickering flames of the candlelight bounced off the glass decanter that faced her on the silver tray, and she wondered why the soothing brown liquid was beckoning her to pour herself a glass.
"I see you haven't left," Rhett said smoothly from the hallway, breaking her train of thought.
"I had nowhere to go," she answered plainly then laughed lightly when she looked over at him. "What are you doing down here? Off to see your mistress?"
Moving over to her side, Rhett placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she turned her face away. "Scarlett, do you really want to throw away everything we've built? Do these past two months mean nothing to you?"
"What am I throwing away? Seems to me I never had anything to begin with."
TBC…Sorry this took so long. RL has been a little crazy lately. As for this chapter, all I can say is that a lot of you know me by now, so there's no reason to panic ;) But I'm pretty sure many of you saw this one coming.