CHAPTER 11

'More than friends, less than lovers.

The status between us hurts me so much.

Cause I wanna be your everything.' – Anastasia.

She's not reading anymore. She is just staring at the page thinking of the line the main character said. For some reason, she feels like she can completely relate to her. Dismissing the thought, she continued reading the novel.

'I'm sorry. I am still confused.' Nathaniel said, not daring to look at her straight in the eyes.

'But even so, you are really important to me, too.' Two birds sat by the window sill. Soon after, another bird came. The newcomer and the other bird flew away seconds later, leaving the other one alone.

'But not as important as Margaret. She was the one supposed to be here, not me; and it is killing me knowing that I am just a replacement!'

Another sharp pang hit her straight in her chest part. A knot formed in her head, thinking where the pain comes from. Her eyes averted its gaze to Natsu, who was currently signing a lot of paper.

How does it feel to be a replacement? But she is just a replacement, right? It was supposed to be Lisanna and not her. She was just a personal assistant four months ago, but that has changed. She was now his –

What?

"Luce, I know I'm handsome. You don't have to silently scream the fact by staring at me with those hungry eyes." He stopped signing to look at her with a teasing expression on his eyes.

"The fudge are you saying?" Deep within her, she can feel those erratic heartbeats that her heart makes when Natsu is around.

"You're wearing it." He said; his head resting on the palm of his right hand that was leaning on the table.

"Wearing what?" She stared at him confusedly.

"The ring." He stated, his calm and composed expression not wavering.

"The Ring? That was a nice movie, scary as hell. Wait! Do you want to watch that? Good luck to you cause I am not watching it again." She face-palmed.

For a moment, she really lost it. Sometimes, confusion can really make a person out of her mind.

"That's not what I meant. I mean the ring. The accessory on your left ring finger, the ring." He emphasized, his calm and composed expression gone.

When Lucy realized what he is saying, she knows she blushed hard. Staring at the said accessory, memory came rushing back, bringing a smile on her lips.

"I thought you are never going to wear it." He said, but there is one thing that Lucy wants to know. She looked at him, then down to his hand. Upon seeing the round, fake silver, but really looks like real silver hugging his ring finger, she felt relieved.

"I thought the same thing for you."

Just like that, they go back to what they were really doing. It was like magic. They don't have to say a word to know if they should continue something or not. A word is not needed to understand what others think, of what to do next. But there are times that not saying a word is not good because most of the time, keeping silent over something leads to confusion.

When did it ever happen? She had completely fallen in love with him. One moment, she is confused, then the next she admitted it. One moment she feels so in love and the next thing she knew, she is confused again. But one thing is for sure, it won't happen if Lisanna didn't get sick.

But if Lisanna was fine that time, then it will be her Natsu is hugging. The touch of his hand, the warmth of his embrace, the taste of his lips, it will all be given to her. All those smiles, all those laughs, the affections, the sincere stares, the joyful times, the sad times, the date, it will be for Lisanna and not her. Lisanna is the one that should be wearing the ring. And for sure, she will never feel these crazy but good feelings that Natsu always gives her.

But it was all supposed to be for her because in reality, she is just a replacement in a show that is not going to be real. And somehow, if you would look at them, they are no far different from the real looking ring but is actually fake.

Why does it feel like she is stealing something that doesn't rightfully belong to anyone? Why does it feel like she is expecting for something that is never going to happen? Why does she feel scared to lose him when right from the start, Natsu doesn't belong to her?

Love is confusing. It is the feeling of being in love that makes her happy, but then, it is also what makes her head spin in countless turns. As she thinks more about it, another sad reality comes after another.

What are they?

More than friends in action.

Less than lovers in words.

She is just a replacement.

She fell in love.

It feels great.

She is just a replacement.

And she doesn't know what is what in their situation anymore.

Sleeping soundly in her bed? Not anymore.

With a groan, her hand flew to the side table in search for her ringing phone. When she got her phone, she glanced at the clock across her wall to know that it was just 10 pm. Sitting up from her comfortable lying, she read the name of the caller.

"Sir Igneel?" It took seconds for her to realize who was calling her.

It was Igneel. Why would he call her at 10 pm? Unless it was about –

Without thinking for more that might have actually happened to Natsu, she pressed the answer button and wasted no second to greet the person on the other line with a high pitched hello.

"P-Papa? Is something the matter?" She asked. Sweats formed on her forehead. Sleepiness already wore off. She was silently praying that nothing bad happened to Natsu.

"Y-Yes." Just a word made her time froze.

But it was not Natsu. It's even worse.

"Your father was sent to the hospital. Marvell's Hospital, room number 77. Please be here, quick."

When she was in the cab, she tried to call Igneel again, but to no luck, her phone got drained.

"Sh*t! Of all times!"

She only got a wallet and a drained phone with her. Screw luck! Somehow, she managed to change into decent clothes.

Upon arriving to the said hospital, she paid the amount needed to pay and dashed inside the building, straight to the information desk.

"Jude Heartfilia was sent in, right?"

"Yes ma'am. At room 77."

For once, she had forgotten to say thank you. It was not Natsu but it was her father. They still haven't made up for their lost time. He can't go away.

"Papa!" She called Igneel. When her presence was made known by him, she opened the door and saw her own father lying comfortably on the bed. His eyes were down. Staring at him for just second, emotions came rushing out of her system through tears. It is embarrassing for her. Running away, then going back, so ridiculous! And when he came to get her, she refused and now, there she is, locking gazes at the man who was a part of why she is living, a part of the reason why she is madly in love right now.

But what now? Does he ever want her back?

Later on, Igneel followed.

"Lucy, Mr. Jude got a mild allergy from eating lobster when we were in a meeting a while ago. I don't know who the right person to contact is but I ended up calling you." Igneel filled the blanks on her head.

"Mr. Dragneel, you shouldn't have called anyone. I'm fine and I don't want to be a bother to my – "

"You haven't changed Papa! How can say you don't want to be a bother? Even if you don't want me as your daughter anymore, you are still my father! It's normal to worry about you. Even if I am to convince myself not to worry, I still will!" She yelled on her place.

Bother? She disliked the ways he controlled her life, but it has never gone to the point that she will see him as a bother.

Igneel, who seems to realize the mood, went out and let the father and the daughter have a talk.

"I am hardly concerned that you might be exhausted from work.. Igneel said that you are really working hard. Don't over-exert yourself, okay?" He told her in a fatherly tone that Lucy yearned to hear for so long. She wiped her tears away and managed to act stiff and strong even though she knows it's already too late to show him how sturdy she is. The tears she refused to show him for so long was now revealed.

"I don't want to hear that from you. Actually, I can say the same on you."

"Can I, can I hug my long lost daughter?"

Slowly, her right leg took the first step, followed by the left one. She reached onto him. He has so many lines on his forehead, wrinkles on his once bright eyes. He has aged.

Seeing the changes on him, she latched herself on him and cried hard.

"Seriously, I didn't expect you to come."

"Seriously, I didn't expect you to get hospitalized because of your allergy! You are so careless!"

Jude chuckled and hugged her tighter.

"I am so happy with what you have become. Michelle is missing you."

"Thank you Papa, and I missed Michelle too. I missed all of you." They parted and in an instant, Lucy felt like those three years have never happened.

"Say, Lucy, did I ever happen to cross your mind, when you were away?" He asked in a hesitant tone.

"Papa, remembering you is easy. I do it every day. I am always hoping that you were there every single day that I am happy. Missing you is another thing that makes my heart aches."

"My daughter surely knows how to choose her words now, huh? I remembered the time when all you can say is 'AH' and nothing more. But I am your Father, what is the other thing that makes your heart ache? Was it the little Dragneel?"

Her face immediately heats up upon hearing the word little Dragneel, knowing that he is pertaining to Natsu. But she is indeed happy that she can finally open up to her father. It's like nothing has transpired, no three years have been wasted for nothing.

"No. Actually, he has done nothing wrong. We were just having issues." It was natural for her now to hold the necklace, the bracelet or the ring that Natsu had given her whenever she would think about him. And now that his face is currently clouding her mind, her right hand automatically went in search for her ring.

But it wasn't there. She touched her neck to know if she's wearing their necklace, but it is also not there and so same case with her bracelet.

"Are you finding something?"

"Yeah. Our necklace and ring, and the bracelet he had given me, I think I forgot to wear it." She frowned.

"You can have it back when you go home later."

"Now that we're cool? I'm planning on spending some days with you and Michelle."

"I am hoping that that is the only reason." He teased.

"Papa!"

He is really her father. He knows what is what and which is which. If only they are like this before, maybe she hasn't run away. But if that happened, there is no Natsu in her life and maybe, Lisanna will be in her position.

She has to think things through.

"I'll just talk to Papa. I mean, Natsu's father." She said and earned a nod.

She saw Igneel outside the room, sitting alone on the waiting chairs. She occupied the seat next to him and thought of the best words to start a conversation with him.

"Thank you Papa."

"You're welcome. Are you two already good?" He asked while looking at her with an expecting face. Of course, there is nothing that she wants for Lucy but to be happy and well.

"Yeah. It's all thanks to you. I'm really thankful. Thanks for bringing my Father here. Really thank you."

"Yeah. You don't have to thank me that much. I'm glad that I have been of help to my son's girl."

Her face heated up in embarrassment. She just hopes he won't open the pregnant and grandson topic again. She had already enough of it. Being pregnant and doing 'that' has never ever crossed her mind, even for once!

And as if someone flicked her forehead, she remembered that she has something to ask him that slightly has something to do with Natsu.

"Uh, Papa …" She had a hum in response.

"I – I really l – like Natsu. As in I really, really, really like him. More of I l – love him. It's true, it is really true Papa."

"I know. I can see it with my own eyes. Natsu loves you too."

How she wants to believe that, but it didn't come from Natsu's mouth. It came from his Father whom they have been deceiving for months. And to hear those words from him, guilt, strong sense of guilt is overwhelming her.

But what she said is real. And right now, all she wants to do is to think things and finally have her mind clear.

"But I – " She was searching for the right words to say, but no matter how many times she tries to think of the right words, she can't come up with anything.

"How do I say this? I need to – "

"I need to think of some things that is happening between us."

FINALLY!

"Are things not working smoothly?" He asked with worry.

"Sort of. But I know we can get through this. Right now, I just really need a time, a time to think things over, a day without him in sight." She can't meet his eyes. Sure, this is embarrassing; she just wants a hole to eat her up so it will be finally over.

"Did you two fight?"

"No. It is not that. It's just, I'm confused with the things he does. He is so perfect and I – uh… Can I ask for a three days off?"

"Sure. You can start your day off tomorrow. I don't know what is happening between you two, but I hope, in the end, it will still be the two of you. Do you want me to talk to Natsu?" She shook her head and politely reasoned out.

"Thanks, but it is not needed. Thanks for trying to help. And please don't tell Natsu that I am with my father. Knowing him, I'm sure he will get berserk and rush to our manor to get me out. You see, I didn't tell him yet that my dad and I were already good. My phone's non-sense with a drained battery."

"Sure thing."

"Thank you so much!" Out of the blue, she found herself in a hug by Natsu's father and she can't help but to be puzzled by the passion that he is giving her, handing her the conclusion that this is the reason why Natsu seemed to be really attached to him. So loving and sincere, protective and kind, she prays that it is not the only time that she will get this.

In just three days, she has to make things clear for herself. She doesn't want to be like the left alone bird on Nathaniel's manor's window sill nor she wants to end up like Anastasia – a replacement. So she will think hard and hopefully, she will get the answer that she wants -

When all that she wants is Natsu's love.

Any answer she will come up, decisions will follow. It is like business, one after another, flooding your brain with cons and pros. But at least, business doesn't hurt.

Making decisions will be hard, especially when it is a choice with what you want and what is right.

Choosing an option is scary because sometimes, the smallest decisions that you make are the ones that has great impact on your life.

In the end, she doesn't want to make a mistake. She doesn't want to regret the chances she didn't take, the options she didn't choose.

But in the end, she will never regret feeling that way to Natsu.

Yo minna!

If one sided love sucks, what more is MU (mutual understanding) that you can't understand? It's really hard. You don't know where to place; you don't know what to do. And when someone asks you what the real thing is, you don't know what to say. What's worst is when one day, you just woke up and he is already with someone else. Left alone, you became the loser in a game no one started.

Too much drama! Haha. Hey, how are you? How is this chapter? Good? Bad? I hope I did it well. I am sorry for the wrongs! Sorry!

And thank you for the last reviews! Thank you minna! You're making me smile and glad!

Care to leave some reviews?

Have a bright day minna! Jaa!

-A.L.-