Chapter eleven: worth every penny spent

[Matt's POV]

I've been avoiding Mello since lunch. I mean, it's not exactly hard to do, but I think he can tell something's wrong because he was staring at me all through English class. I just don't know what to do now. Mello's so nice to me, he's weird and funny and kind of sweet. I don't want to think anything bad about him but I can't help it.

When the bell rings Lucas and Yuki say their goodbyes and leave. Mello waits until everyone's left the classroom to come over to me.

"What's up?" he asks, biting at the sleeve of his sweatshirt nervously.

"I have to ask you about something. It's important."

He looks me up and down, then nods slowly.

"Not here though. Somewhere less open." I say, he nods again and watches me pick up all my stuff. "Come on then."

He follows me out of the room and down the hall. I can feel him looking at me but I force myself not to turn around. I lead him to the old drafting classroom that isn't used anymore and shut us in.

"Sit down." I said. He walked over to the back of the room and pulled out two of the dusty chairs.

"You too." He said. We put the chairs so they were facing each other and sat.

We were quiet for a while.

"Why didn't you tell me what you did to John's brother?"

He looked down at his bag and his grip tightened on the strap.

"It's the only thing I regret doing, and it's the only thing people remember me for. I wanted... I don't know." He said, pulling his legs up onto the chair and hugging his knees.

"Why the hell did you do it? What were you thinking, pushing someone down the stairs? "

He didn't answer, he just shut his eyes.

"Mello! Answer me! I need to know what's going on." I stood up, frustrated. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I was just a stupid kid, okay?" he shouted, and stood up to look me in the eyes. "I was a fucking stupid brat and he was mean, alright? That's it!"

He turned to leave and was out the door before I could stop him. I followed him into the hall.

"Mello! Get your ass over her now and tell me what the hell happened! What the fuck did he do that was so horrible?" It came out louder than I'd intended, echoing a little in the empty school. He didn't stop; I had to run to catch up to him and grab his arm, pulling him around to face me.

He looked pissed.

"Stop fucking touching me!" he said, wrenching his arm away, "you want to know why I didn't tell you? Fine, I'll fucking tell you. I wanted someone who I could talk to without constantly being judged. No, no fuck that, I just wanted someone. Anyone who didn't already hate me. Fuck off."

He ran the rest of the way out of the school.

God dammit, more fucking running. By the time I was out of the school he was half way down the street. To anyone else, the chase that followed must have looked like some bizarre game of tag.

Finally Mello made a sharp right turn and ran up to a house, fumbling in his pocket for keys, giving me timer to catch up.

"I told you to fuck off!"

"No, not until you tell me everything."

He glared at me, but whatever response he might have had died, because the door opened wide revealing a tall brown haired lady.

"You've brought a friend home from school!" she said excitedly, and gave me a hug, then pulled us inside ignoring Mello's protests.

"I'm Mrs. Keehl, but call me Erika. It's so good to see that Mi-"

"Mom!" Mello interrupted, "he's not my-"

"Hey, Mel, we should go work on that project" I interrupted.

"Oh, you have work to do? Well, don't let me be a bother, call me if you need anything!" she said happily.

"Thanks Mrs. Keehl!" I smiled.

"I told you honey, Call me Erika. I'll be in the living room, bring him up to your room Hun, do you want anything?"

"No mom." Mello said, and lead me up the stair angrily. He opened a door at the top of the stairs and held it for me.

"Now what the hell did you follow me for?" he asked when he'd closed the door. "didn't your friends tell you enough about me?"

"I want to know your side, Mello." I said.

He stopped short on his way to his bed and looked at me.

"…seriously? You're not going to yell at me anymore?" he asked.

"Yeah, seriously. Now tell me."

He fell onto his bed and bit his lip before starting.

"Well, first off, it happened in…well, when I was in 1st grade. It was in the middle of the school year, and nothing had really happened. Then… well, I got called into the office. They told me that my dad…died, and that my mom was coming to get me. I ran out of the school and sat on the front steps. I was crying. Then that fucking prick came up to me and started saying shit like 'why you crying, you fucking girl, why don't you go cry to mommy and daddy' and… he was older than me. But I didn't care, I was so mad, I just…"

"You pushed him."

He looked up at me and nodded.

"Yeah. I didn't mean for him to get hurt- well, actually I did. That's what makes it worse. I wanted him hurt, and I think I may have wanted him dead for a second. God, I'm an awful person. Everyone loved the shit too, so after that, people stopped talking to me."

I sat next to him and put my arm around him. He didn't really look upset, but… he was shaking. It felt like the right thing to do.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I told the therapist. I had to see one for a while after that." He said, curling up and hugging his knees to his chest again.

"No, I mean anyone else."

"Who would believe me? As far as they're concerned, he was a hero trying to comfort me, and I went psycho and attacked him for no reason." He rested his head on my shoulder. "It's my word against his."

I didn't know what to say, so I just held him.

##

Um… yeah. So. Much. Talking. *shoots self*

Well, there you go, hope you liked it. The next one will be out soon enough -hopes she's not jinxing herself-. review please *puppy face*