Author's Note: Takes place between In the Shadow of Two Gunman part 2 and The Midterms.

Through the Door, Down the Hall

Two weeks after the shooting things seemed to be getting back to normal. President Bartlet was back in the White House and his arrival came under much fanfare. I found myself glued to CJ's briefings in a way I never was before, but I felt that I had to know more. I had to know if Josh was doing better, which, from her accounts both public and private, it seemed as though he was going to pull through okay and come home from the hospital relatively soon.

Donna had been in and out of Josh's office trying to hold things together in his absence. She pulled his files for Toby and Sam, who took over much of Josh's portfolio. But, I think it was Donna that was really kept them on track most of the time because she knew better than anyone else what Josh had to accomplish. I still don't know how she did it, though I thought that I heard her crying softly through the door one night late in the evening. No one else was around and I heard some muffled sobs. I couldn't blame her really. Josh was her boss, but there was also a much deeper connection.

All of the Senior Staff's grief over the shooting seemed to manifest differently. They all dealt with it by throwing themselves into their work, naturally, but they had each picked up some quirky habits because of it. For example, aside from hearing Donna cry occasionally through the door, I noticed that Sam had taken to going out to lunch a lot more often. It almost seemed like he was trying to make up for the days when they didn't eat lunch together. It was as simple gesture that allowed him to be close to the people he worked with. The people he considered family.

"Donna," I heard him say through the office door. "Are you off to the hospital today?"

"Hey Sam," she replied. "Yeah, Josh insists I'm there during lunch because he has a paranoia that the nurses are trying to put him on a diabetic diet."

"Really," Sam said.

"Well, you know Josh," Donna replied.

"True," Sam said. "Tell him I said hi and I'll be by later tonight."

"Will do," Donna said.

I heard Sam's footsteps come toward the door to CJ's office and a moment later there was a light rap on the open door.

"CJ," Sam said.

"Hey Spanky," CJ said looking up from her computer.

"What are you doing for lunch?" he asked.

"I was probably going to catch something here," CJ said. "The arraignment is this afternoon. I figure I better be prepared for the afternoon briefing."

"The Arraignment." That is what they had taken to calling all the court proceedings against the scum that had been partially responsible for the shooting. They stopped using his name in private almost immediately, as if using his name gave him some sort of power. I figured it was just another coping mechanism.

"Yeah," Sam replied. "You want to order in from the mess?"

CJ looked up and gave him a small smile. Somehow I sensed that CJ knew how important lunch was to Sam.

"Sure," she said.

"Great," Sam said. "Salad?"

"How about chicken salad," CJ said.

"Sounds good," Sam said. "Toby might join us. I mentioned lunch to him."

"Good," CJ said.

"Yeah."

CJ looked like she wanted to get back to her work, but Sam seemed perfectly comfortable hanging out by her door, leaning against the wall.

"You holding up that wall all by yourself over there?" CJ asked him.

"Oh," Sam said moving away from the wall. "No. I guess I'm at a loss for what I'm supposed to be doing today."

"I thought you took over some of Josh's portfolio?"

"Yeah, my meetings aren't for a while."

"Oh," CJ replied.

"You're busy," Sam said obviously.

"A little," she said giving him a tight smile.

"Right. You now I'll just come back at lunch. Toby might come too," he said.

"Okay," CJ nodded. "I'll see you in a little while."

"Okay," Sam said before he left.

And so that's how the lunches began. Sam would attempt to round everyone up and sometimes he'd get a lot of interest and sometimes he wouldn't. Sometimes they ate in and sometimes they went out, but I did admire his tenacity in trying to hold them all together.

Toby's feelings manifested a bit differently. Toby was never in what anyone would classify as a good mood, but the shooting seemed to bring him down for a while. He looked a little more irritated and tired than usual in the weeks following the shooting. In my opinion they were all in need of some counseling and while I did my best to facilitate that role, it just wasn't enough because, obviously, I couldn't really respond to them verbally.

As I said, Toby's grief took an interesting turn in that he felt it was his mission to succeed in every task Leo assigned to him from Josh's portfolio. It didn't seem to matter to him who he had to strong-arm or yell at or blackmail in order to get what he wanted. In a way I think Josh would have been proud of him for his resolve because it very Josh-like. However, I could tell from rumblings behind the scenes that Toby was hardly winning any more friends with his tactics. Apparently I wasn't the only one to notice it either.

"CJ!" he bellowed one afternoon as he burst through her office door.

"Toby before you start," she tried to cut him off.

"CJ, I can't believe this," he yelled tossing a paper on her desk. "Danny Concannon--"

"Toby…"

"Danny Concannon," he started again.

"Toby," she said again.

He picked up the paper from CJ's desk again and began to read.

"The Bartlet Administration, in its attempt to regain focus, is left with a large hole with no one with as much political muscle with Deputy Chief of Staff Joshua Lyman on the mend. Though a valiant effort is being made by many Senior Staffers to return to work as usual, the psychological effects of the assassination attempt have left many scrambling to make sense of not only the political ramifications of the shooting, but also the personal. Case in point: Toby Zeigler, Communications Director, seems to be hell-bent on ramming agenda through Congress at a time when many in the government are also trying to make sense to this tragedy. Shall I continue?"

Wow, Danny had gone to town with that one. I hadn't heard CJ mention anything to Carol or anyone else about the piece and it made me wonder if maybe she didn't agree with Danny for a change.

"Toby," she said.

"He wants to single me out? No one knows that the hell we're supposed to be doing right now CJ. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"A Senior White House Correspondent?" CJ ventured.

"Don't you dare defend him on this one," Toby said. "Although why I should have expected any different is a mystery to me."

"Hey," CJ said standing to defend herself. "That was uncalled for."

"You're on his side," Toby countered.

"I'm not on his side," CJ said lowering her voice a little. "I just think maybe he might have a point."

"He might have a point?" Toby asked squinting at her as if he didn't recognize her.

"Look," she said holding out her hand in a gesture to calm him down. "I'm just saying that, I know you're busting your ass working through Josh's portfolio, but maybe the tactics Josh uses work for him and they don't so much work for you."

"What does that mean?"

"I mean that it's been two weeks since the shooting," CJ replied. "When did we decide we need to start pushing legislation before the president and Josh are even recovered?"

"How about the 80 percent approval rating we've got right now? When would you like us to start pushing things through?"

"Toby," she sighed. "I don't know, okay? I really don't know."

"I don't either," he said loudly and then pacing quickly back and forth for a moment. "I don't know what the hell we're supposed to be doing, but I have to do something."

"I know."

"Yeah."

"None of us know what to do right now," she said. "I know Danny kind of took you town, but if you read the rest of the article, it was really complimentary on how we're getting back to the normalcy of governing."

"I read the whole thing," Toby informed her.

"We'll get through this," she said. It was the most confident I'd heard her in weeks, though I don't know if she truly believed what she was selling Toby.

"Yeah," Toby grumbled. "Has Donna been in today?"

"In and out," CJ confirmed. "She's been running ragged between here and the hospital."

"You've been to the hospital?" Toby asked.

I noticed how CJ looked down at her desk, as if making eye contact with Toby would shame her.

"No, not this week," CJ said. "Why?"

Her voice sounded small when she asked. It was almost as if she were child waiting for her punishment if she answered the question incorrectly.

"Josh asked where you were last night," Toby informed her.

"I called him," CJ said vaguely.

"I don't think visiting him would be out of the question," Toby said.

"It…I'm not…I can't," CJ said tripping over a few words because she got the simple sentence out of her mouth.

"You can't?" Toby asked incredulously.

"I don't want to okay?"

"You don't want to?"

"I don't like to see him like that," CJ defending herself. "All those machines that he's hooked up to…I hate seeing him like that."

"CJ," Toby started.

"No, Toby," she cut him off before he could even begin. "Maybe it makes me a horrible friend. Maybe it makes me a terrible person, but I hate seeing him like that. That isn't the Josh I know. If I talk to him on the phone then he's Josh. If I see him like that, then I have to think about the very real possibility that he could have…"

She looked away again and I saw her bite her lower lip fiercely. I didn't know if it was helping her maintain her composure or somehow keep her connected to reality.

"Donna is there," she said looking up again. "He doesn't need a room full of people and I call him once a day."

"Okay," Toby said clearly seeing that pushing the issue was not in his best interests.

"Are we done now?" CJ asked.

"Yeah," Toby said softly.

"Okay," she said. "I have to get ready to brief the press."

"Okay," Toby said.

CJ was the one to take leave of her office and Toby just stood there for a moment looking around the office. I'm not sure if he was shocked by CJ's level of denial or if he was still smarting over Danny's article, but he sighed loudly and walked back down the hall.

I'd heard there were stages of grief. Of course without anything to reference I wasn't exactly sure what order they followed or how many there were, but it was clear to me that everyone seemed to be in a different stage. Sam was making amends with his lunches. Toby was definitely in the anger stage and it was directed at just about everyone. CJ was in deep denial and Donna…well Donna seemed to be taking everything in stride. Granted, I never saw her reaction to the shooting up close and personal. I never saw her breakdown in person. But from what I could tell Donna just accepted it and was trying to move forward. She was doing a wonderful job of it too. She seemed to be keeping everything in Josh's office together.

I wasn't the only one who must have thought that Donna was holding Josh's office together because it was two weeks after the shooting that I finally got to meet Leo McGarry. CJ had been running in and out of her office all day and so I spent of much of my time circling my bowl. Carol had found a little hospital bed, which she had decorated with an American flag. It was kind of fun to swim underneath the tiny bed, but it also reminded me that Josh was still on the mend and things weren't really the same.

I was thinking about taking a nap when I noticed that Donna had walked into Josh's office. Luckily for me the door between Josh and CJ's offices was open fairly wide because that's how I caught my first "in-person" glimpse of Leo. Donna was going through some papers on Josh's desk when Leo walked up behind her.

"Donna," he said causing her to turn.

"Hi Leo," Donna said stopping her work for a moment.

"How's Josh today?" he asked.

"He's okay," Donna said. "He said he's sore. I'm not sure if he's over exaggerating or not, but he looks a lot better."

"Good," Leo replied. "I called the hospital, but they only give us his condition over the phone. I figured you'd know better than anyone else how he's really doing."

"His mom has been there," Donna told him. "I think he likes that she's there even if he won't admit it."

"You've been able to keep his mind off this place?" Leo asked.

"As much as possible," Donna said. "He's glued to C-SPAN and CNN. I think seeing President Bartlet come home lifted his spirits."

"Good," Leo said.

"He gets about twenty minute of phone time a day provided he's not talking about work," Donna said. "I've intercepted him more than once trying to call Sam about a vote."

"It probably takes his mind of things," Leo said knowingly. "But it's for the best if he has the opportunity to get better before he thinks about work."

"He was really excited about the food basket you sent over," Donna said. "He can't wait to get off of hospital food and break into it."

"Food seemed a little more manly than flowers," Leo commented. I noticed how the tone of his voice was serious yet I detected a hint of a small grin in his inflection. I'd never heard anything like it before. It was very unique.

"He appreciates it," Donna smiled. Leo's tone brought out her smile too.

"Donna," Leo said. "I know the president appreciates everything you've done for Josh and for his office. I wanted to let you know that I really appreciate everything you've done too."

"Thank you," Donna replied. I could tell she was clearly touched and, from what I could tell, she seemed fairly surprised. From what I could gather about Leo I didn't figure he was really the type of man who showed a whole lot of emotion.

"Yeah," Leo said clearly moving on from the topic. "I was actually hoping you might be able to help me with something."

"Sure," Donna said.

"I'm looking for the proposed budget figures for next year. I know Josh was looking at them before..." Leo's voice trailed off as though he didn't really want to speak the words. If President Bartlet loved CJ like a daughter as Josh once told her then it was clear that Leo loved Josh like a son.

"I figured he probably still had them in his office," Leo finished.

"Um, yeah," Donna said walking out of my line of sight. I heard some crumbling and the noise of ream of paper being set down a desk.

"Josh has got some filing system," Leo commented. "Never mind that it's the Federal Budget he's stored under his desk."

"It's a unique system to say the least," Donna replied. "I can get an intern bring these down to your office if you'd like. It's pretty cumbersome."

"No, that's okay," Leo said walking out of my view as well. Oh well, at least I could still hear them anyway.

"If you don't mind I'll just take a look at it here," Leo said. "It'll save everyone a lot of trouble."

"Sure," Donna said. "Let me know if I can help you with anything."

"Thanks," Leo said.

I saw Donna walk out of the office and things fell quiet again.

I took a quick nap when I was jolted awake by CJ bounding into her office. She stood behind her desk and rummaged thorough some papers quickly. She looked a little frazzled and while I'm sure it wasn't any fun to be that stressed, she had more spring in her step than she had since before the shooting. It was good to see her energized again.

"Numbers, numbers, numbers," she mumbled under her breath as she dug through the pages on her desk.

"Gail," she said pausing for a moment to look at me.

"Yes?" I thought excitedly. It had been a while since we'd had a heart to heart.

"Have you seen the numbers on welfare assistance?" she asked.

"Not a clue what you're talking about," I replied.

"Probably not," CJ answered herself.

CJ rummaged around her desk for a few seconds more before she did something that she'd done twice since the shooting.

"Josh!" she called.

I froze in my bowl and looked at her. It didn't appear that she noticed her mistake. It always took her a minute before she realized it. Like I said, she was in some pretty deep denial.

"Josh, do you have the welfare assistance numbers?" she called again.

Nope, she definitely didn't recognize her mistake. She continued to fumble through her pile of papers as if she hadn't said anything strange at all.

"Josh," she said as she stood upright as if she were going to walk over to Josh's office.

Suddenly she froze and looked at the door. She glanced from her desk to the door between their offices again.

"Damn it," she sighed.

At that moment Leo emerged from Josh's office. I thought he'd left a while ago, but I guess my nap interfered with my ability to people-watch.

"CJ," he said entering her office.

"Leo, hi," she said rather sheepishly. She kind of rocked back and forth on her feet as if she wanted to walk back to her desk and then she changed her mind.

"You okay?" he asked.

"I'm good," she said. "I was looking for some welfare numbers."

"That Josh had," Leo finished for her.

"Yeah," CJ said. She held some papers in her hand and scratched her head.

"Sam told me about the other day," Leo commented.

I assumed that Sam had told Leo a similar story. It happened earlier in the week that CJ and Sam were going out for lunch. Sam stopped by CJ's office to go and she absently said she'd ask Josh if he wanted to go. Sam gave her a funny look and that was when CJ realized that Josh wasn't at work. It was very odd. CJ knew that Josh was in the hospital, but somehow, when she got busy, the memory slipped her mind. I thought it was because of their close working environment. Josh and CJ were always bustling in between their offices and his absence was something to get used to.

"Yeah," CJ said. "I get busy and I have a hard time remembering he's not next door. It's like phantom limb pain or something."

"I understand," Leo said.

"Is that weird?"

"You and Josh are close," Leo said as he took a seat in CJ's office. It was kind of strange to see him sitting in her guest chair. His presence seemed larger than a guest chair.

"I had this buddy in the war," Leo reminisced. "His name was Bill. Billy O'Dwyer. We started out together and we were in a lot of battles together. He got shot down on this one mission and it took me a while to realize he wasn't flying next me anymore. I'd call him over the radio and then I'd realize my mistake. It took a few weeks to realize Billy wasn't there anymore."

"I'm sorry," CJ said.

"Don't be sorry CJ," Leo said casually. "What I'm saying is, it happens to the best of us."

"It's been kind of hard. I never thought I'd have to deal with something like this."

"Sure."

They were silent for a moment before Leo stood up and walked around to the back of the chair. He placed his hands on the back of the chair and glanced around the room.

"Anyway, I wanted to come by and tell you that Jeff Reynolds got transferred to State," Leo said.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Leo nodded. "I was thinking that your office is kind of small."

"Small?"

"You have the press in and out of here all the time and Jeff's office has more room."

"It does have more room," CJ said. I had a feeling she knew what Leo was getting at. I think CJ understood what he was getting at too.

"So I'm moving your office down the hall," Leo said. "Effectively immediately."

"What happens to this office?"

"Did you know that they built this office in a hallway?" Leo asked.

"A hallway?"

"Apparently during the Nixon administration he was going for a rat in a cage feel and he closed off the hallway with this office. I think it's time we open it up again, what do you think?"

"I think that sounds like a good idea," CJ said.

"Okay," Leo replied turning to leave her office.

"Hey Leo," she stopped him.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks," she said.

"You're welcome," Leo said. "And CJ, you're not the only one."

She gave him a quizzical look.

"I just spent an hour looking at the budget in Josh's office."

"Thanks Leo," CJ smiled.

He returned her smile and with that he left her office.

"Looks like we're getting a change of scenery Gail," she told me.

This was going to be a big adventure. Moving sounded like so much fun! I hadn't seen anything that different since Danny brought me home from the pet store. As always, things in the West Wing seemed to change on a dime and everyday was an adventure.

TBC