Authors Note: Thanks for still reading! This one isn't as long as the last (phew) but definitely longer than my short-shots. Just updated this one as well. Minor tweaks, nothing major. Hope you enjoy!
Standard disclaimer: As always, I own none of this, it's all JK Rowling's
"Why didn't you ever date someone else? Did you want marriage? Kids? Do you want that now?"
There it was. The question she fielded a hundred times. Probably more. She usually dodged with a comment about focusing on her career, or not having time, or how happy she was on her own. The Merlin's honest truth was that she did want to get married. She longed for children so much it hurt at times. She'd helped raise Teddy, James, Albus, and Lily and imagined little ones of her own. The Potter brood had helped fill the emptiness she felt as a childless woman in her twenties and thirties, but she was getting older now. It has stopped being about when she could have kids and was possibly getting into whether or not she could have kids at all. It hurt too much to think about, so she mostly just did her best to ignore it by working harder.
Draco was making that difficult. It had only been six weeks or so. Far too early to think about kids. And yet, she was. She always was. But how could she possibly tell him that without sounding positively mad?
Could she tell him why she hadn't dated? Why she had avoided spending the night up until her accidental sleepover last night. She'd been lucky she hadn't had a nightmare last night, at least she was assuming she hadn't, but there was no guarantee that would happen every night. No one knew about the nightmares, only Ron. He'd been understanding at first, then annoyed that she kept interrupting his sleep until they'd started sleeping in separate bedrooms. That had been the beginning of the end for them, and she didn't want that to happen with Draco. Not when it was still fresh and new and wonderful.
But could she really start a relationship, a real relationship, without being completely honest?
This internal debate felt like an eternity, but had lasted no more than a minute.
She looked up, catching his eyes again.
"I did. I do. I want all of those things. Always have. I just…" her lower lip wobbled even as she scolded it mentally.
Draco enveloped her cold hands in his large warm ones.
"I have trouble sleeping with someone."
Draco raised his eyebrows, incredulous.
"No, no, not sex 'sleeping with someone.' I mean physically falling asleep and staying asleep next to someone."
Draco furrowed his brows, but waited for her to continue in her own time.
"After that night at Malfoy Manor, when we were caught by the Snatchers and Bellatrix…"
Scowling, his hands gripped her tighter until she squeaked. Apologizing, he released them, and rubbed them to make up for it.
"Afterwards, I had nightmares. It wasn't just that, but her knife certainly features prominently. Between losing Fred and Tonks and Lupin and Mad-Eye and Dobby and Creavey and Dumbledore and Snape and… and…" she stopped to regain control over her shaky voice.
"Sleeping through the night is hard. It drove Ron mad when I would toss and turn all night, or worse make noises. It's part of why we broke up. Afterwards, I was so self-concious about it that I didn't think anyone else could understand. I mean, Ron was there. He saw everything I saw, aside from my one-on-one with Bellatrix. I figured that if he couldn't understand, no one could."
Draco stood up abruptly and began pacing. He looked angry. No, more than angry. He looked furious.
"Draco…?"
"Don't." He snapped. He paced back and forth before snatching their mugs off of the side table and going inside. Hermione wasn't certain what to do, so she stayed outside. After about five minutes, Draco came out with two fresh steaming mugs of tea and a cooler attitude.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I just can't possible imagine who could be that heartless."
"Bellatrix was deranged," Hermione started before Draco scoffed.
"I'm not talking about my mad Aunt Bella. I'm talking about that bastard Weasel. Who shames a woman dealing with something like that? How could he… Why on earth… I just… Fuck. Wanker. Bugger all. Fuck."
"Well, yes. That had been my reaction too, but I could help thinking that perhaps it was just easier if I slept alone."
"Hermione, sweetheart," he said, grasping her hand firmly between his. "A woman like you should never have to sleep alone."
And just like that, she believed him. Or at least believed that he believed it.
"Can we try, maybe just one or two nights a week, try spending the night together? Your place or mine, whichever you're more comfortable in, but can we? I meant it earlier, I want more with you. And I think learning to sleep in the same bed is a good first step, don't you?"