The next morning I awoke to Charlotte laughing; I rolled over and saw her sitting up in bed with Derek playing some strange hand game.
"Oops...we woke up Meredith!" Derek said into her ear as he laughed.
Charlotte jumped over onto my side of the bed.
"Meredith! Guess what?" she exclaimed.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I get to go into the hopsicle today!" Charlotte said.
"To the hospital?" I repeated.
Charlotte nodded and I looked at Derek with a curious look.
"Just going to take her in and give her a CT." Derek explained. He rubbed my arm as he could see I looked worried. "She'll be fine," he assured me.
I nodded.
"Okay Charlie; I have to take you to the shops first, then we'll see Derek at the hospital," I told Charlotte.
Charlotte and I went to the shops and I bought her some clothes; pretty dresses and a few toys; surprisingly, she picked up a toy doctors kit.
"Can I have one of these?" she asked.
"Of course you can! But you know, I can get you a real one from the hospital sweetie," I told her.
Charlotte nodded.
"Okay!" she said excitedly.
Later on at the hospital I walked down the corridor holding Charlotte's hand. She was wearing a new dress I bought her; it was white with pink rosettes embossed on the skirt, on her feet were plain white ballet flats and her legs warmed by leggings. We saw Derek and Charlotte ran and jumped into his arms.
"Derek!" she exclaimed. "Look at my dress!"
Derek gave her a hug.
"Ah you look beautiful!" he said with a smile.
Cristina walked passed and stopped; she looked at Derek and Charlotte.
"Is this the rugrat living at your house?" she asked me.
I nodded.
"Cute hey," I said.
"You know how I feel about kids," Cristina said.
I smiled at her.
"She calls you Auntie Cristina," I laughed
Cristina whipped around.
"She calls me what?" she cried. "Ugh that is sick!"
I laughed.
"Meredith! Look!" Charlotte held up a stethoscope.
"That's great honey," I answered.
Cristina looked at me with a horrified look on her face.
"Honey?" she cried. "Oh you are so toxic right now!"
I shook my head.
"Got some cool charts to steal Cristina?" I asked her.
"On my way," Cristina replied.
Charlotte ran over to me.
"Sweetie, you have to go with Derek remember," I told her.
"Are you coming?" Charlotte asked.
I nodded.
"Sure am," I answered.
Charlotte had a CT scan and everything seemed to be okay at this stage; Derek was in the viewing room and I followed him in there. The nurse stayed in the room while Charlotte went through the scan. All of a sudden, however, she started to get scared.
"Meredith..." she cried. "I want Meredith!"
I grabbed the speaker.
"It's okay honey, Derek and I are just looking at your pictures," I assured her.
"Mommy!" she wailed.
"I have to go in there!" I jumped out of the chair and ran into the room; I grabbed her hand.
Charlotte was trying to get up.
"Sweetie, it's alright," I told her. "Everything's alright, now calm down..." I grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "I'm here now,"
"I want you Meredith..."
"I know sweetie, I'm here now though," I told her. "But you need to lie very, very still so Derek can take some pictures."
After Derek took the scans and I pulled Charlotte off the bed and dressed her.
"Come on, we're going to go home," I said lifting her up. She grabbed me tightly and wouldn't let go.
At home Charlotte was sleeping on my bed. I was so tired I felt like doing the same. So I went upstairs and lied down next to her.
"Mommy?" Charlotte whispered.
"It's alright honey, just close your eyes," I whispered putting my arms around her.
I woke to the sound of voices a little while later.
"Look at her, it's a mini Mer," Izzie's voice was a whisper.
"Ha, she lies on her side like Meredith," came George's voice.
I rolled over and looked at them.
"Hey," I said quietly.
Charlotte woke up.
"Auntie Izzie...Uncle George..." she said.
Izzie came over and sat on the bed.
"How are you feeling beautiful girl?" she asked. "Do you want to come bake some cookies with Auntie Izzie?"
Charlotte jumped up and looked at me for approval.
"Go ahead," I told her.
"Mommy, I'll make you some cookies," she whispered in my ear.
George grabbed Charlotte and tickled her.
"ARGH! Here comes the cookie monster!"
Charlotte squealed in delight.
George and Charlotte ran downstairs.
"Mommy?" Izzie cried. "Meredith...she is calling you mommy,"
I shook my head.
"I don't want to get into it Iz," I answered. "Now let's go bake some cookies,"
Derek walked in later that afternoon to see the four of us in the kitchen all cooking.
"Smells good!" he commented.
Charlotte ran over to Derek and wrapped her arms around his legs.
"What are you cooking my little munchkin?" he asked.
"Cookies!" Charlotte answered as Derek lifted her up. She picked one up and shoved it at his mouth. "Have one!"
Derek started laughing.
"Mmm, yummy," he said. "Who made these?"
"Auntie Izzie and me!" Charlotte answered.
"You mean, Auntie Izzie and I," I corrected her.
"That's what I said!" Charlotte replied.
Derek raised his eyebrows and looked at me; I simply shrugged and stirred the pasta I was cooking.
"Meredith is cooking psketti!" Charlotte told him.
"You mean spaghetti?" Derek asked with a smile.
Charlotte nodded.
"Taste test?" I asked.
Derek walked over and I gave him a test.
"Mmm, absolutely...how do you say it...bellissimo!"
"My some!" Charlotte said trying to grab the spoon.
"Just a minute, it's hot," I told her blowing onto the spoon. Charlotte followed my lead and blew the spoon; she blew it so hard that pasta sauce flicked all over my face. I started laughing, as did Derek; and soon Charlotte was giggling hysterically. "Now quickly clean mommy's face..." I didn't even realise what I'd said, but everyone else caught on.
Derek, on the other hand, didn't mind, he simply leaned in to kiss my face where the pasta sauce was.
"Mmm, yummy pasta..." he laughed.
Charlotte decided she would copy Derek and she put slobbery wet kisses all over my cheek.
"Charlie!" I laughed.
Charlotte leaped into my arms and planted a kiss that I call the mommy kiss right on my lips.
"When's dinner?" she asked.
"Right now," I kissed her cheek and put her on the chair. Derek leaned in and blew a raspberry on Charlotte's cheek that made her giggle hysterically.
We all sat down, including Izzie and George, and ate dinner. It wasn't before too long that Charlotte was starting to fall asleep on the lounge.
"I'm just going to put her bedtime diaper on," I told Derek. "Do you think we should put her on the mattress?"
Derek nodded.
"If she gets up into our bed later, its okay," he answered.
I nodded and carried Charlotte up to her bed where I changed her into a diaper and put her pyjamas on.
"Goodnight sweetie," I whispered kissing her forehead.
"Goodnight mommy," Charlotte said sleepily.
Not baring the thought of going back downstairs, I climbed into my bed and closed my eyes, just listening to Charlotte breathe.
Momentarily I felt Derek climb into bed.
"Goodnight," he whispered.
I felt his arms wrap around me and I drifted off to sleep.
I felt as though I hadn't been asleep long when Charlotte climbed up into the bed and lied between Derek and me.
Derek wrapped his arms around the two of us and opened his eyes looking at me with a worried look.
At some point in time we have to assess the damage; we have to understand that life changes; priorities change and our lifestyles become inevitably different. As doctors and surgeons or whatever, we have routines; our days off consist of folding laundry that has been sitting there for a week since our last day off. But sometimes our routines lose structure; assessing the damage, this can be over time due to severe procrastination; on the other hand, it can be within the blink of an eye.