Alida woke up blearily, hand wrapping around the hilt of her knife as she tried to remember where she was. She had woken up far too comfortable to be scared that she had been captured, but she didn't recognize the room. She sat upright as she looked around, remembering the bunker with relief. Only then did she sit the knife on the bedside table. She pulled the comforter up around her and just let herself feel warm for a moment before wondering what time it was.

She felt as if she had slept in, but she wasn't sure where the others would be. After a moment she quit putting off the inevitable and finally crawled out of bed, bare feet landing on the floor and making her shiver. Then she looked down at the band shirt and yoga pants she had slept in, wondering if she should get dressed but she hated the thought of putting on clean clothes without getting a shower.

With her escape attempt and then the following events she had never been able to take one at the hotel, and now it wasn't just a want, it was a need. She ruffled her wings, stretching them all of the way open until the muscles in her back stretched and relaxed. She settled them once more with a sigh, reluctantly tugging on her jacket to cover them. She twisted her gross hair into a bun, slid her knife into the band of her pants, wrapped her wire around her bun and then slid on her boots with her other knives in place. She considered taking the others before deciding that would be overkill and then dressed, went in search of breakfast.

She was absolutely starving. Her stomach growled as she wandered down the hall, glancing back towards Dean's room before moving to the large room from the night before. It was simple to retrace their steps and she was relieved to find Sam at the big table, books spread out around him. He was reading them intensely, and didn't notice her enter. She was going to go greet him when she caught the smell of bacon cooking. She followed it eagerly, mouth watering as she went through another archway, eyes darting around reflexively for the other exits and dangers, before settling on Dean standing before the stove.

"Mornin," he welcomed her, setting a plate of bacon on the island in the kitchen and Alida moved to sit on one of the bar stools. He took in her jacket with raised brows.

"You cold?" he asked, gesturing to her with a spatula and she bit her lip in consideration.

"I don't get really cold," she admitted, eyeing the pancakes he was currently making and he turned to tend them. She snuck a piece of bacon when his back was turned, cursing as she burnt her tongue and she heard him chuckle.

"So, not cold, what's with the getup?" he asked the food, and she shrugged. He looked over his shoulder for an answer.

"Um, self-conscious of my back brace?" she offered the lie with a squint, and shrugging again now that he could see her and he rolled his eyes.

"Um, no," he told her and she gave him an exaggerated frown that said Eh, I don't care. It was the one she had learned from Sam and Dean glared at her, tugging the plate of bacon out of reach.

"Hey!" she exclaimed and he would have retained his victory if he didn't hear her stomach growl. She blushed at the sound, and it was because he didn't want her to starve and not that she was so cute embarrassed that he relented, sliding the plate back and passing her one of her own to fill up.

He turned with the pancakes, sliding four onto a plate for Sam before turning to put four on hers as well. He had seen her eat, and had no illusions about her filling up on all of that bacon she was pilling onto her plate.

He mourned their grocery bill, now that they had a second Sam to feed, but it still made him feel proud when she sighed happily as she bit into another piece of bacon. She picked up her plate, grabbing the glasses that Dean had set out and followed him out into the open room where Sam was.

"Come on, Sammy, time to eat," he ordered his brother, sitting down his own plate to snatch the book out of Sam's hands and replace it with a plate. He leaned away as Sam lunged to retrieve it, and his freakishly long arms would have reached it if Alida didn't pluck it out of Dean's hands and neatly mark the place with a piece of paper before closing it and setting it out of Sam's reach.

"Alida!" Sam exclaimed in betrayal but she only sat an empty glass before him before returning to the kitchen for the jug of orange juice she had seen. Dean smirked at his brother before clearing a spot for his own food across from him. It was only coincidence that it was next to where Alida has sat her own before helping him steal Sam's book.

Dean moved the books out of the way, looking up with a grateful grin when she sat the juice in between them, and then she shuffled awkwardly as if not sure if she should sit down. Dean just plopped into his chair, stretching out his legs and kicking Sam's under the table. The long legged moose glared at him, before seemingly forgiving Alida and giving her a sweet smile.

"Thanks, Alida," Sam told her, pouring himself some juice and she smiled before pulling her chair out to sit down. Dean noticed that she pulled it father away from him.

"So, what'd you learn?" Dean asked before shoving bacon in his mouth, much to Sam's disgust.

"Dean, I just started," Sam complained and Dean gave him a look before taking a drink of his juice to swallow down a big bite.

"And?" Dean asked, making Sam roll his eyes.

"Well, there were always the odd vamp or werewolf or other average strength monster disappearing, but they assumed that was the random antisocial hunter. That's the farthest I've got really, just that it could have been happening for a while, but there isn't much said in the earliest records. Alida started eating quietly, evidently put at ease as Sam easily fell into talking excitedly about his research and Dean was relieved to see her relax.

"It's a start," Dean agreed with a nod and Sam smiled pleased, only now cutting into his pancakes. The sound of wings filled the air, Alida's fork clattered onto her plate as she sat upright and then Cas was standing in front of them.

"Hello, Dean. Sam. Alida," he greeted them each before Sam pulled out the chair next to him pulling out the chair beside Sam and sitting down. Alida smiled at him, obviously over her surprise at his sudden appearance, and he smiled back pleased that she was no longer angry with him.

"Hey, Cas," Dean welcomed around pancakes and Castiel gave him a stern look that he promptly ignored. Sam just smiled at Cas before turning back to a book that he had snuck open, reading through a passage with a small frown.

"What are you reading, Sam?" Cas asked and Sam looked longingly at the book before pulling himself away to answer.

"It's actually a journal, a personal account instead of just a record. I'm trying to learn if the Men of Letter's knew about someone experimenting on supernatural creatures, but it might have been after their time. There is actually something here about a spell, a kind of summoning that would be able to make a connection from whatever we have and tell us what exactly they were using, " Sam told him and Cas frowned, eyes back on Alida. She shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, seemingly going through her and looking deepen in under her skin.

"There is definitely something not human about her, not of this world," Cas told them, and Dean realized with a start that he hadn't even been thinking of Alida as a one of them. They had their own experiment right here, if they needed to do any paranormal tests but the thought made his stomach turn. Alida had already been through too many tests.

"You can tell that?" Alida asked, and her voice was so carefully devoid of emotion that even Sam looked up to stare at her. She idly twirled her fork, not looking up from her plate.

"Yes, I can see that there is something, different about your soul," Cas told her and she looked up, meeting his eyes.

"Well, good news is I have a soul," she joked but it came out tinged bitterly.

"It is a very bright soul. Beautiful," Cas told her seriously and she didn't look away from his eyes for a moment, seeing the honesty there.

"Thanks, Cas," she told him softly and he nodded.

"That was why I reacted the way I did when we first met. I must apologize but it was unnerving to see and it comes naturally to be protective," Cas told her solemnly.

"I understand," she told him with a reminiscent smile, as if that reminded her of someone, and Dean squinted at her.

"I don't really see anything," he chimed in and Cas gave him an exasperated look.

"You are not an angel, Dean," Cas told him and Sam grinned, lips twitching as he tried not to laugh at his brother.

"Yeah, yeah, I think I'm an angel, huh, Alida?" Dean asked her, giving her his most innocent and charming smile. She didn't seem phased in the least.

"I agree with Cas," she told him and this time Sam did laugh. Dean kicked him in under the table.

"Why did you kick me, Dean?" Cas asked, eyebrows turning down and this time Alida couldn't help but join Sam in laughing.

"Sorry, Cas," Dean apologized, "wait, you know what, no. You are all mean."

"Aww, don't blame, Cas," Alida pleaded with another chuckle, and she seemed more relaxed than he had ever seen her, eyes happy and smile unforced. He quickly deepened his scowl, refusing to be taken in but she just turned back to the angel in question, eyes dancing.

"Fine, I'll blame you," Dean huffed, stealing a piece of bacon off of her plate, in reconciliation. He still remembered her stealing his jam, and it hadn't been forgiven.

"Don't make me bite you," she threatened, eyes glinting playfully scowled at him and he was pretty sure the shiver it sent through him was not the reaction she intended.

"Whatever, princess, I've taken worse than you," Dean told her quickly, trying to get his mind out of the gutter, but the way her nose crinkled up in annoyance nearly undone him.

"I want to say I doubt it, but seriously, demons? I've got enough wrong with my head without something else jumping in to take me for a spin," Alida told them with a repulsed shiver that she didn't need to fake.

"Tell me about it," Sam muttered, and her eyes seemed to soften at the pained way his jaw clenched.

"The leviathans were not very fun," Cas suddenly told them and Alida tilted her head at him.

"Leviathans?" she asked, and Cas scowled at the table.

"Okay, this is not happening over breakfast," Dean suddenly announced and Sam raised his eyebrows at him, obviously surprised at his brother.

"Sam's head was messed up, Cas went full out Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and I got to have to a nice little vacation in Hell. But we all made it, we are all here, and fuck them," Dean told them, abruptly, his voice rising in his impromptu speech until he was almost growling a battle cry instead of declaring a topic taboo over breakfast.

They all stared at him as he finished, ferocious glare in his green eyes dimming as he realized what he had just done, and after a moment his ears were tinged pink in embarrassment.

"Dean?" Sam asked hesitantly, and Dean rolled his eyes, jerking as if he was about to get up and run away but before he could Alida suddenly interrupted and he froze.

"I have absolutely no idea who I am besides a killer. I kill people. But that sounds great compared to that, that totally sucks," Alida told them, electric eyes on Dean, but she watched the others still as the meaning of her words hit them. She was poised to leap, hand on her thigh and inches from her knife but no one moved as Dean turned back to face her.

"You kill people?" he asked, and his tone was weary but almost disbelieving and she felt a smile stretch across her face, but not in amusement. It was almost as if she was holding back the hysteria, and if it stretched too far it would break and she would fall to pieces before them.

"I'm supposed to. I did. So, let's do this, let's do the spell, or cast it or whatever you do with spells. I want to know what they did to me. What I am," Alida told them, and then she was standing, pushing her half eaten breakfast away.

"Alida, we don't even know if this will work," Sam protested and she shrugged, not facing the angel whose blue eyes bore into her as if digging around in her mind and finding the worst parts of her. She didn't look at Dean either, didn't want to see whatever her revelation had made him think.

"Well, we can try. What do you need?" Alida asked and then Sam was looking to Dean, trying to figure out what to do but Dean just stood up and abruptly strode to the kitchen without looking at any of them. Sam turned to Cas but the angel didn't give him an answer either. Alida stared at him, eye alight with determination and he sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"IF you want to do this, we'll need your blood. And, I'm not sure what it will feel like, we've never done the connection spell before," Sam warned her for a moment and she nodded.

"I'm no stranger to pain," Alida reminded him with a voice as firm as iron.

"IT will take a little bit to set up," Sam told her and she exhaled in irritation. She was so wound up she felt like she would explode. She went to run her hands through her hair and remembered that it was in a bun with a grimace.

"Enough time to take a shower?" she asked hopefully and Sam nodded, seemingly relieved.

"Yeah, sure, take your time. I'll just go over everything and make sure we have it all right," Sam told her, knocking his chair over as he stood with the book in his arms. He righted the chair, with an embarrassed smile before grabbing the salt off of the table.

"I'll just be in the dungeon, we have a pentagram set up down there," he told her, before strolling out and she blinked after him, floored by the entire sentence. Was this going to be her life now?

"I will show you to the showers," Cas told her and she nearly jumped at the way his voice rumbled, surprising her out of her momentary life crisis.

"Thank you," she agreed, guiltily leaving the table with their abandoned breakfast. No one had finished, and it seemed like it was her destiny to disrupt every moment of peace she was given.

She nervously followed him, trench coat lightly fluttering around him. For some reason being alone with the angel seemed to be a bad idea, like he would be able to pick her existence apart piece by piece and discard the negative until he found that she had nothing left. The silence that fell over them seemed oppressive and Alida fought down the urge to fill it with chatter. What did one even say to an angel? What's the weather like up there?

She clamped her lips tight to keep in the hysterical giggle at her own pathetic joke, but it quickly withered in her throat when the angel abruptly turned around bringing them eye to eye. He was only a little bit taller than her, perhaps an inch, maybe two but with her boots on it was barely noticeable as he stood far too close. She stopped breathing, panic tightening her chest as his dark eyes scrutinized her for a moment.

"You feel like you deserve pain," he suddenly said, and her heart jumped painfully in her chest. She took a hurried step back, putting some distance between them as she tried to calm down.

"You really skip the small talk don't ya?" she asked sarcastically, and his eyes narrowed for a moment, but not with hostility.

"You are trying to use defensive humor to lighten the mood. I have become very familiar with this tactic," Castiel said instead of answering her and she swallowed hard. She clenched her hands into fists to try and stop them from shaking.

"Of course not, I'm not a masochist," she told him firmly, brushing off his worries, but he didn't look away not letting her get away with it so easy.

"Every person in this bunker has done something that they regret," Castiel told her wisely but then he pulled back, giving her a small adorable smile that tried to melt her heart movement after he tried to break it.

"Here is the showers," Castiel told her, and then he was gone, so quickly that she didn't have time to look for the glimmer of wings like she wanted. The burhs of wind against her face made her sigh, wings almost aching with the need to fly.

She quickly ducked into the room, noting the rows of shower heads with a disgusted twist of her lips. It was probably created after the types of convenient showering systems used in the military but all it reminded her of was the white room they would lead you in too, turning on the brutal spray without any regard to how you felt. It was such a mechanical process, they never looked at your face twice or cared about the way you whimpered.

Either a sanitizing stream of far too hot water that made your skin burn, or the freezing water that sent your thin body into shock as they removed whatever blood and grime was left on you from that day's activities.

It was never a temperature in between and the soap was always the same, a burning chemical compound that made your skin itch and turn red. It didn't matter. It would always heal, give it a few minutes and it would start fading, long before the chill ever left your bones.

Alida leant against the wall, staring at the tiles as she tried to control her breathing and remind herself that she wasn't there and that no one would ever do that to her again. It was the least of the pain, but there was something so humiliating, and degrading about the process that made her retreat from the showers into the dark hall and curl around her knees.

She had come to love showers, behind the locked doors and inside the single stalls that closed around her and left her enveloped in a never ending stream of water in whatever temperature she wanted. She would spend as long as she wanted, or didn't want to, and when it came too soap she had discovered that it didn't have to be painful. There were so many smells, of things she had never actually seen, and once the trembling had stopped she had never thought twice of stepping into a shower.

And now here she was, ready to be used as the guinea pig in some spell that sounded more like another experiment than anything, but she couldn't stand the sight of the showers. Alida groaned, burying her face into her hands before pulling herself to her feet. She took a deep breath before striding through the door, slamming it behind her and going to throw the lock, to keep herself in or everyone else out she wasn't sure, when she realized that there was nothing to grab.

There wasn't a lock. This time she gave a frustrated scream, punching the metal door hard enough that she felt the skin over her knuckles split. She sunk against the door, pressing her forehead to the metal as she tried to get her breathing under control again.

"Hey, is everything okay?" a masculine voice asked and she jumped so hard she felt the muscles in her shoulder flare in pain as she twisted to find the source of the voice. Dean was hovering in the door way, hand clasped over his hand, but as she watched a green eye peaked through the longs fingers. He smirked at her, dropping the hand once he saw that she was dressed.

"Shame, thought I was going got get to see something," Dean told her, smirk still firmly in place, but it was somewhat lessened by the fact that he was looking her over with concern.

"Yeah, shame," she agreed but her voice sounded strange even to her won ears, and Dean focused on her face, troubled at whatever he saw there.

"You okay?" he asked, stepping into the room and she reflexively took a step back, away from him. He froze when he saw her and she flushed ashamed, raising her chin to dare him to judge her or pity her but instead she saw his mouth turn down in annoyance.

"Come on, we both know you're braver than that, so tell me what's wrong?" Dean told her and she glared at him, far too overwhelmed to deal with him being an irritating asshole right now.

"I'm fine," she snapped and he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against the door that was so recently holding her up.

"Obviously, that's why you are screaming like banshee having a bad hair day," Dean scoffed and she fought the urge to ask him if banshees were real. She watched him, confidently standing before her and acting like their earlier conversation had never happened. She felt like it was a dark shadow hanging between them, the reality of what she actually was, and what she could actually be but before she could say anything he kept talking.

"And you are bleeding," Dean added, eyes narrowing on her knuckles and she glared, surprised that he had even noticed.

"Shut up," she told him, the only thing she could think of and he watched her smugly, willing to outwait her and knowing that he had won.

"There isn't a lock okay?" Alida finally admitted after a moment of his intense eyes on hers, making her flush and feel like he saw far too much.

"I'll get you a chair to hold it shut, and guard the door, problem solved," Dean announced with a pleased grin, standing up and she blinked at him in surprise.

"Yeah, that will stop the angel from doing his Houdini act," she complained, more in surprised than actual worry sense she was pretty sure he wasn't going ot pop up and sneak a peek.

"Houdini disappeared not appeared, jack ass, come on. Go get your things, I'll grab the chair and some soap. You can borrow Sam's I'm pretty sure it smells like flowers anyway," Dean told her gruffly and she was surprised to feel herself actually smile. She glanced at the showerheads, long row of tiles but this time she didn't panic, with Dean's solid sarcastic presence beside her. He just didn't fit inside that memory, and him being there grounded her in the now.

She followed him out of the room, easily tracing her way back to 'her' room to grab her bag as he went in search of her supplies, before returning to the showering room. Dean was already there, and threw a bag of toiletries at her once she was in sight. Her eyes widened at the number of bottles and he grimaced at them.

"I didn't know what you would want so I smuggled the lot. Now hurry up, I don't want to get murdered if I don't return them in a timely fashion, that is not the way I want to end up going after the shit I put up with. Seriously, death over shampoo would suck on a headstone," Dean told her, not acting like it was odd at all that he had to pass her a chair as she walked into the shower room. She took it gratefully, setting it down as she turned to thank him. He was already leaning against the wall, seemingly patient to sit there and wait for her to get out.

"Um, Dean? If something terrible happens, and the world is coming to the end, and you have to burst into the shower to save me? Still knock," she instructed him and her rolled his eyes with long suffering sigh.

"You take the fun out of everything. Don't worry, if I want to see you naked it will be voluntary on both our parts," Dean told her with a charming grin, accompanied with a wink that sent heat from the top of her head to her toes, turning her face red. She slammed the door in his laughing face, shoving the chair under the handle with a curse.

Then she twisted the knob of the nearest shower, jumping at the strong spray of water. She leapt away quickly, but not before her sleeve was soaked and she sighed. She hadn't been expecting them to have good water pressure, but that should actually be an upside considering she felt filthy. She only hesitated another moment, hands hovering on her jacket before she slipped it off and tossed it over the chair holding the door shut.

Then she stretched her wings, and then everything else, standing on tip toe as she reached for the sky. She felt a few things pop, and then closed her wings, sure the sound of the water would drown out the soft sounds of her wings ruffling. She felt fear sizzle down her spine as she waited, trying to listen over the sound of the water for nay disturbance outside the door but it seemed quiet.

And now with her wings exposed, she didn't even blink at stripping down. Her wings were the most private part of her anyway, and she could stare someone down naked if only her wings weren't on display to be torn apart. Well, she was pretty sure that was a lie, considering the fact that she had never been naked in front of anyone who wasn't holding a scalpel but the thought was there. She stepped into the water, holding her breath and trying to bury those thoughts far away but the flashbacks from earlier and her sudden exposure in such a large space made it hard for her to push the fear away.

"Dean?" she hesitantly called, before immediately regretting it, and in the moment after she hoped it was too quiet for him to hear but then he replied, making her squeeze her eyes shut in mortification.

"Yeah? Everything okay?" he asked, voice muffled by the door and the running water but she could make it out.

"Yeah! Yeah, it's good," she replied immediately, voice over bright as she grabbed the first bottle she could find and immediately started scrubbing her hair.

"If you want company you only have to ask," she heard half shouted through the door, and she could easily imagine the leeri-sh smirk on his face.

"Shut up, Winchester," she yelled back and she swore she could hear him laugh before he fell quiet again. She rinsed her hair out quickly, eyes firmly in front of her instead of darting around the large room.

"So, you have extra body parts or something?" Dean called once more and she dropped the bottle in her hand. She cursed as she dove for it, slipping in the conditioner now sprayed on the floor.

"Like what?" she asked wildly, trying to sound offended instead of panicked.

"I don't know, I just saw those creeps turn into dogs. You could have tentacles, or teeth you know where," he told her suggestively and she snorted, blushing furiously.

"Or you might now have a you know where, you could have a man's you know what," Dean continued and she nearly died right there.

"Seriously, you can just not," she told him firmly, now rushing to scrub her body and get clean so she could escape from this interrogation that took a wildly wrong turn.

"Hey! I thought you could just use the conversation, and a man gets curious," Dean told her and she was so glad there was door, not only to hide her embarrassment but so that she wouldn't give into the urge to strangle him.

"Dean Winchester, if you keep talking, I swear I will murder you," she threatened him, punctuating her words with the stark silence as she shut off the water. She started toweling off quickly, pleased at the silence when he just had to keep talking.

"I mean, it's totally fine if you do, I just wanna know," he told her and she pulled on her clothes with unneeded force, tugging both arms through her jacket and punctuating each of her words with a violent tug of cloth.

"I. Will. Murder. You," she snarled, finally shoving the chair aside to fling the door open and fix the handsome man with her most dangerous glare. He only grinned down at her, amused at the dripping woman now fixing him with a look more fitting on a tiger than a soaked kitten.

"Okay, okay, but if you feel the need to clear the air," he told her pointedly, holding his hands up harmlessly and she practically growled at him.

"I do not have tentacles, or teeth, or man parts, so just shut it before give into the urge to break your pretty face," Alida told him harshly but his lips twitched into a pleased smile.

"What?" she demanded, thrown by his happy expression and it just made him grin wider.

"You think I'm pretty," Dean told her with a wink and she shut her eyes in the clearest pained expression of someone praying for patience not to physically injure someone.

"Um, is she okay?" Sam asked, coming down the hallway and Alida glared at him as well, perfectly fine with sharing her wrath before she maimed someone and he held up his hands in an echo of his brother.

"Woah, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," Sam told her quickly but then his face crumpled in confusion, tilting his head to sniff the air.

"Is that my shampoo?"