(Lara and Sam's first Christmas as a couple. Set between Lessons and Scars.)

I always forget that letting Sam handle the Christmas decorations is a bit like handing crayons to a child and telling her to go wild. The flat looks like Santa's Sled exploded all over it. There's tinsel everywhere and garland strung off of every conceivable surface. Everything glitters.

And the lights. I'm terrified of what the light bill is going to be. The living room ls cast in red and oranges and greens, and lights run around the ceiling, and into the hallway. I can guess that she's put lights in every room. Blinking, flashing lights. She's lucky neither of us has epilepsy.

The tree though, is mostly bare. She's gotten the lights up on it, but the topping is missing and none of the ormaments have been hung up. Sam's sitting on the couch, wearing a green holiday hat and a pair of green short shorts. Like she's Santa's sexy elf.

"Where did you get that outfit?" I lean down and her hand tangles in my hair as we kiss. "You better not be sitting in any laps."

"Just yours, sweetie." She pats the couch next to her and I sit down. She has the boxes of our ornaments open on the coffee table and I reach over to pick up a cat, turning it over in my hands. It was what she picked out for me the first year we started our ornament tradition. In the years since we've added several others. The Christmas after Yamatai are the simplest ornaments, both frosted glass. I had wanted to skip it but Sam insisted we get something, like a promise for better times to come. I guess she'd been right. Each year gets a little easier.

"I've been waiting for you to get home, so we can do the tree together. It's kind of our first tree. Together. Together together."

She doesn't need to emphasize together but I understand. It's a little terrifying and I wonder if it will always be terrifying. Her hand slips into mine and it's warm. "We need to find the perfect places for each ornament."

"New one last," she insists, when my hand goes to the biggest ornament on the table. It's our first year, our first tree together, and we'd picked one out together. Blown glass in bands and ribbons, forming an endless series of knots. Unending, with no breaks.

It had appealed to me as a symbol of our relationship. A symbol of us making each other whole. I pick it up anyway. "No. This one first. It's...it's us and that should always come first."

"Lara, you're a sap." Her eyes are glistening and I tug her to her feet. "But I won't tell anyone so your rep is safe."

I feel a pain in my chest, deep and sudden just then and wrap my free arm around her, hugging her as though she might float away. She snuggles in, and we stand like that for awhile, before I remember the tree. We put the ornament up together, and then one by one the rest of the special ornaments go up. I'm extra careful with Sam's snowflake. It has our names and the kanji for family.

Last is the star. It's gold and silver and very old. Roth had bought it from an antique shop when I was a child. It almost feels like he's watching over us.

I make some hot cocoa and settle on the couch. Sam bounces away from the window and all but crashes into the couch next to me. "It's snowing!" She rests her head on my shoulder and snuggles in llike she's done on other Christmases, but this time it's different. I love her, and I'm allowed to say it. "Remember the cabin?"

We'd tried to escape our memories and gotten snowed in for nearly a week. "Yes. Do you have any idea how close I came to telling you I loved you?"

"I wish you had." Sam's wistful tone makes me feel a little guilty, but she adds, "But you didn't, and now I know anyway and we won't waste any more time."

I take a sip of my cocoa. The lights around the flat blink to their unheard music, and the tree looks more full than it has since we started our tradition. Each ornament is a memory, some better than others and all taken together they tell the story of Sam and I. From carefree friends to family, to shellshocked victims to lovers

She's right. I really am a sap.