Over the next few weeks, I did my duty, and visited Bucky. I hated every moment, even when he showed compassion. Seeing Bucky that way was like torture. But, if I left him behind, what did that make me? What did that make us?

So, on a day like any other, I went down to the cells. The guards were down the hall, trying to get away from the noise. Bucky was up against the back wall, yelling into his hands. He looked like hell. I approached him, slowly. He hadn't noticed me yet, but I was already affected by the sight of the bloody and bruised man before me. Without warning, I burst into tears. The emotions of the last weeks hitting me like a ton of bricks. As I dropped onto the bench, a loud sniffle rang out under his screams.

It became eerily silent, making my ears ring. I glanced around, surprised. I couldn't stand the screaming, but I enjoyed the silence far less. Glancing around, confused, my eyes suddenly locked onto Bucky. He was at eye level, watching me, concerned.

I sobbed harder. I had seen that expression a hundred times during our months together. He always had that look when he was comforting others, mostly me. Seeing as I'm a mess, I saw it pretty often. It crushed me, that expression in the eyes of this person that I no longer recognized.

Even though I hated that he was showing concern now, I took advantage of it. I dropped to the floor, laying up against his cell. Without prompting, he slid his hand up the glass, and placed his palm flat against it, right in my eye line. He was trying to be sweet. It was unsettling. I glanced at him, he had a sad smile on his lips. I gave his hand a quizzical stare, before pressing my own hand over his.

I looked back up at him, and through tears, said, "Please, fight this. You did it once, with Steve, find the strength to do it again. Please, I need you back."

He nodded, and said, "It's quite a fight in my head, seeing you and the others. I'm trying to find a winner. It's not as easy as flipping a switch, I'm finding." He sighed heavily, staring at our hands.

I sighed in response, and laid back, watching him. It was a strange truce, but I was going to take it while it lasted. He quirked an eyebrow at me, tapping his hand on the tile. I gave him a confused, sideways look. He just laughed, and crossed his legs, tilting his head at me quizzically.

We watched each other intently for some time, when someone approached. Bucky immediately stood and got in a defensive stance. I jumped at his sudden movements, groaning. Steve waltzed into view, sticking his hands in his pockets. Bucky glanced down at me as the rage began to rise up in his chest. He struck the glass with full force, making it rattle against my head, making tears spring in my eyes. I guess the truce was up.

Steve sighed and came to sit across from me on the bench. He glanced down at me, and his eyebrows suddenly knit together. It was like he had never seen a woman cry. He was obviously confused. He sighed deeply, and looked between us.

"Why are you crying so hard? What happened in here?" He asked.

I grimaced at him, and pointed a finger up towards Bucky, to explain the obvious. "Why isn't he getting better?"

Steve sighed, dropping to lean against the bench. I glanced up at him, trying to catch my breath. This was killing me. He shook his head, and rubbed my knee, trying to comfort me. I unconsciously patted his hand, and gave him a small smile.

"Don't touch her! You can't take her from me!" Bucky screamed, pausing his pounding.

Steve jumped up, and stared at Bucky, surprised by the sudden outburst. I stood slowly, putting my hands consciously on my hips. Bucky stared at me with a pained, betrayed look. I shook my head.

"Bucky! I have told you already, there is nothing going on between us. Even if there was, why should we listen to you? You don't even remember our relationship." I barked.

Bucky growled, "Why should that matter, if you actually love me, like you claim, would you move on so easily? And Steve, are you really trying to reset my mind by screwing my girl?" Bucky ranted.

Steve gave me a sideways glance. I shrugged my shoulders, looking at Bucky, completely confused. He rolled his eyes, and walked back to his bed, huffing. He gave each of us an empty glance, and dropped onto the mat, immediately closing his eyes.

I turned to Steve, saying, "Whatever the hell that was. He doesn't love me, but he's jealous? Just perfect..."

I started off down the hallway, making my way back to my room. Steve stayed behind, I assume to try and make a point. As I crossed through the lab, Shuri and Natasha stood in my way. This day couldn't get any worse. I glanced them both up and down, and tried to walk around them. They immediately blocked my path.

Natasha started with, "We were both here when he was recovering the first time. This is definitely different from that. You are making him erratic, borderline insane. We care for him, and we want to see him get better. Maybe that can only happen if you stay away, until we get this figured out."

"Bite me. I'm going to bed." I tried to pass between them, but they closed ranks. I huffed, and crossed my arms, staring at them halfheartedly.

"Don't get all bunched up. We just don't think it helps seeing you, when he has such conflicting feelings. It isn't conducive to his recovery. So, please don't see him until we have things better under control." Shuri countered.

I shook my head, trying to find the words.

Natasha sighed, "I'm sorry, but this is necessary to get him back. We want him to get better, likely less than you, but we don't like to see him suffer either. Will you listen to us?"

I thought it over, groaned, and nodded.

They let me pass, satisfied looks in their eyes. I started back down the hall towards my room. As I slipped my key I the lock, a door slammed behind me. I spun around, and searched the hall. It was Sam. I gasped loudly, and ran towards him. Finally, a friendly face. He laughed, and pulled me into a bear hug. I sighed, finally able to breathe.

He released me, and patted me on the cheek, saying, "Just like that ass, screwing things up with a beautiful woman by going insane."

I scoffed at him, and whacked his arm.

"I didn't know you were here. They said Bucky tried to kill you, but I hadn't seen you. Are you alright? Are you going to go see him?"

"He nodded and gave me another style="box-sizing: border-box;" /"I was having some RR. Ya know, after he tried to strangle me. I'm heading down to see him now. I guess that you've been quite the distraction for the old fool."

"Yeah, so much so that I've been forbidden from seeing him until further notice."

He rolled his eyes, and said, "No wonder. Care, and I mean this with respect, but you look like hell."

"Great! Thanks for that." I retorted, pushing the hair out of my face.

He gently held my shoulder, and looked me in the eye. "Listen, it could be for the best, for now. Maybe we should introduce people he cares about little by little. And work our way up to the love of his life. All the same, you should get some rest, distract yourself for the next few days."

"Yeah, I was just about to drink my sorrows away, and sleep the rest of this shitty day off."

Sam scoffed, "Drink one for me. I'll come by later to make sure you don't drown in your own vomit."

I rolled my eyes, and took a step towards my room. "Nah, I have an iron stomach. You have to when you spend most of your life abroad. Anyway, I will talk with you later."

He groaned, but I was in my room before he could say more. I shut the door, leaning against it. It was time to wash away my sorrows. As I scanned my room, my eyes landed on a bottle of golden alcohol. It looked expensive, but if they wanted us to be at home in our rooms, they intended for us to drink it, right? And, oh, I did not intend to disappoint.

Grabbing the bottle, I dropped to the floor. I quickly uncorked it, and took a long swig. The burning in my throat made me choke. I wasn't much of a drinker of hard liquor, and it was suddenly evident. I rolled my eyes at my weakness, and took another long pull from the bottle making my way onto the bed, plopping down on the soft sheets.

After a few minutes I had finished the bottle, and was laying in my underwear, having abandoned my dress on the floor. Suddenly there was a booming knock at the door. I groaned loudly, trying to buck up enough to gi answer it. Slowly, Ipulled a blanket off the bed, wrapping it around my body as I wobbled my way across the room. I opened it to Steve, holding a cup of coffee. Before I could protest, he handed it to me, and stepped in. He was obviously trying not to look at my indecent appearance. I pulled the blanket tighter around my chest, and sat in an oversized chair in the corner.

Steve sat on the edge of the bed, and said cautiously, "I'm sorry that Shuri and Nat came at you like that earlier. I caught the very end of your discussion. I don't know if they're right. But I want him back as much as you, and we can only hope that this will help."

I took a sip of coffee, thinking of my response. I was acutely aware that I was drunk, and that I didn't want to say anything that would hurt him. He didn't deserve my bitterness rubbing off on him. We had all had a crappy few weeks.

I sighed, and muttered, "Well, it's true, that when he and I are together, parts of the old Bucky come back, but once they're gone, he's ten times worse. I don't know why I'm triggering him like this, but if the experts think that stepping back will help, then I guess we have to try."

Steve nodded. "We can only hope that this will pass in time, like before. Hopefully, this time, it won't take as long to figure it out..." he watched me for a second, his expression dropping to a deep grimace. "Sorry, Caroline. I know this wasn't how you hoped your life with Bucky would be. I hope you can find solace, knowing that they are trying their hardest to save him."

I nodded, giving him a small smile. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I guess it is going to be an adjustment..." he smiled as I watched him intently. "Anyway, it's going to be a long road. I'm tired, and maybe a little drunk. Ya know, maybe we can continue this conversation when I'm more clear headed?"

Steve gave me a sad look, and stood. "Yeah, I will leave you to... rest. Sam said he'd be by later to check in on you... for what it's worth, Caroline, I have heard from T'Challa and Sam the details of your time in that other dimension, and by all accounts, Bucky cared for you very deeply. I know he will remember that, with time."

"Of course he will. After the Winter Soldier tears him to bits, again. Am I still allowed to come watch the progress he's making from the control room?"

Steve nodded quickly. "Of course you are."

I laughed, "Good, I will try to be less volatile when I see Natasha and the others next... Anyway, thank you for the coffee. I will see you later?"

Steve smiled, and stood up, making his way towards the door. As he opened it, he turned back towards me, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Caroline, you aren't alone here. If you need anything, come to me. Or even Sam and T'Challa, if you are more comfortable with them."

"Sure. Thank you."

He patted me gently on the back, and opened the door. He slowly left the room, watching me. It was so easy to like the guy. I kept eye contact with him, until he turned down the hall towards the lab. Dropping my smile, I slammed the door shut once he was out of view. I covered my head with the blanket, and climbed back into bed. I would try to get help, if that's what I was supposed to need, but not that day. I hummed my favorite song to myself until I faded into an uneasy sleep.