Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

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Sasuke sat on the bus with his daughter on his lap. He hasn't seen her in so long he had forgotten what it was like to hold her. Her hair was just like his that raven color. He wasn't too sure how he would style it since he wasn't very good at doing hair (him having short hair what he waked up with and walks out the house). But he could surely look up some tutorials online…or have his nurse do it.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Suta chirped. That received a few side looks from other people on the bus.

What they've never seen a young parent before? Sasuke looked down at the little girl. Suta asked why Tenten had sent them away for lunch. The Uchiha blinked, not expecting that questions.

"Mr. Hyuga says that you were talking grown up stuff." The little girl continued.

"Er, yeah. It's a little hard to explain since your mother wasn't really talking to daddy for a long time."

Suta blinked, not really understanding. However she didn't ask again and was silent for the rest of the ride. Pursing his lips together, Sasuke wasn't sure that he said the correct thing. He thought he explained himself pretty simply for her to understand. Besides, he didn't think Tenten would want him to tell their daughter what they discussed. She'd kill him. A few more minutes later, Sasuke carried Suta off the bus and walked into a hotel. It was very fancy, Suta looked around in awe; marble flooring, big and bright chandeliers. It looked like the inside of a palace like in her story books. Sasuke walked over to the elevator and pressed the button.

The room was large. It was a suite room with three bedrooms that were connected. There was a nice view of the city and a small kitchen. The lounge area had a couch and a lazy boy with a nice size tv. It was definitely way bigger than her apartment, Suta concluded. Sasuke put her down and knocked on one of the doors. Itachi emerged from the bedroom, on the phone.

"Yes…I understand…Mother I-" Itachi rolled his eyes and made a face at his younger brother. "He's here right now….you talk to him, then."

Sasuke took the phone from his brother and walked into the room. Suta was still standing by the door and was looking around. Itachi glanced back at the door Sasuke disappeared behind. Shaking his head we walked over to his niece and crouched down to her level.

"Your father had an important call to take from grandma, Suta." Itachi said.

Suta nodded and smiled at her uncle. He led her to the couch and went to the kitchen. He made her a chocolate mint tea with some buttermilk crackers. Suta sat quietly with her uncle on the couch, waiting for her father to come out of the room.

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A few days past and Tenten was discharged from the hospital. When she first arrived home, she was immediately pushed onto the couch by her brother while he cleaned the house. Neji came over after work to cook for her and help her to bed. It was annoying, she thought. Being home was nice, but she wanted to get up and walk around herself. Her brother is a big help, but he is going to return to rehabilitation to retrain his muscles. So she did not want to be a burden. Lying on the couch, she glanced at the clock. It was the afternoon and she was expecting Haku and the girls to come over at any time to visit. I wonder what they're up to. She sighed. There was a knock on the door. She stood slowly and opened it.

"Oh, good afternoon, Ms. Hua." The man said.

Tenten nodded at her landlord and asked what she could do for him. The land lord took a breath.

"The building is being bought out from me," he reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "I wanted to give this to you a month in advance. So then you'll have two months to-"

"I'm…being evicted?" she exclaimed.

The landlord put a hand on her shoulder.

"I have allowed you to live here knowing that you do not make that much, and have a daughter. But I am afraid that the new owners will not be as…nice or understanding."

Tenten nodded. Of course, she thought. She's lasted this long; it was bound to happen sometime. The landlord apologized over and over again. He didn't seem too happy about it either.

"I…Thank you for telling me. In advance no less." Tenten bowed her head slightly before closing the door.

Shit, she groaned. Now she has to find a place to crash until she can scrape together some cash. There was another knock and a loud voice. Pushing it to the back of her mind, she opened the door to Haku and Sai, Ino, Sasame, and Madame Mei. They each filed into her small apartment, holding either food or some type of alcohol in their hands. Tenten sweat dropped as they re-arranged her living room by placing her table in the middle with the chairs surrounding it. The popped open the bottles and wished her good health.

"Take your time, mon cher. There are plenty of girls to dance for you." Madame Mei said.

"Yeah but she's the only one with killer flex, Madame…" Sasame murmured sipping her beer.

"And she brought in the most 'muuuulaaa' with her lap dances," Haku purred.

Tenten rolled her eyes and smiled. Ino hushed everyone and held her left hand in the air. A ring with a giant rock was settled on her ring finger. Everyone cheered, while Sai stood sipping his beer, obviously proud of himself for being able to afford such a giant rock. But Ino loves expensive things, Tenten thought. She loved over the top things. Ino beamed as she received her congratulations from everyone. The blonde grabbed Tenten's arm, announcing that she will be the maid of honor and Suta will be the flower girl. The bun head smiled a bit. She's already planning and she just got engaged…

The drinks began to flow, and the food was ready to be eaten.

"It's going to be a long night…." Tenten murmured.

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Neji sat in his office with his laptop. He was staying late today to make sure his shipments of vaccines came in. He went through his emails, his paper work; he was in the middle of transferring things from his clipboards into the system, currently. In a way, he was happy that Suta was with her father. This allowed him to spend some quality time with Tenten. But then again, the Uchiha's presence was unsettling to him. He was alright with sharing the little girl he has grown very attached to and has taken care of over the past few months. OH NO IT'S PERFECTLY FINE. Sighing, Neji tossed his completed charts aside and reached for his coffee mug. It was unsettling, he thought again. But why was it really unsettling? Jealousy was one thing, but the Uchiha's whole demeanor bothered him. He's probably on medication. I should probably find out what kind just in case….

BTZZ

Neji picked up his phone and a small smile came to his lips, but slowly disappeared when he opened the message.

Can I ask you something? It's kinda important and I don't want to make it weird.

He replied. The response came almost instantly, as if she already had it typed.

I'm being evicted next month…I need a place to stay until I can get another place for Suta and I to live. My brother likes to have his off season parties at his place, so that's a no go...Temari and Shikamaru have their own space, I don't want to intrude. Haku likes to bring guys to the apartment, which is bad for Suta…And Ino just go engaged to a boyfriend she's only had for a few months. And There is no fucking way I'm staying with Sasuke while he is on medication.

Neji's eyebrow twitched. But he replied.

I don't want to be a bother but…can I stay with you for a while?

Neji blinked and recalled what Tsunade had told him;

"When she needs you, she'll call you."

A small smile formed on his face. And he replied quickly. He'd have to make some room his mother was staying for a while his father is overseas.

Oh, alright…When can I move my stuff?

Neji replied.

Wow so quickly…alright. I'll see you tomorrow then. It's mostly clothing since everything else can stay.

The Hyuga replied before putting down his phone. The surgeon was right; all he had to do was wait. Humming he rested his cheek in his hand. Maybe he could make her move in permanently? Well, it may be jumping the gun but at least she wouldn't have to move anywhere and spend the money. He'd have his chance to take care of her and Suta. It's not like they're getting married (pushing that thought out of his mind for now since they had just recently started dating…and he needed to get his emotions in check again first).

The next day he arrived with Tenten's older brother to pack up everything in the car. He was shocked to see that most of the articles of clothing belonged to Suta. But, then again, Temari and Shikamaru spoil her rotten. There was one item that shocked Neji to be left by the five year old.

"I thought she took Mei-Rei." Neji said holding the stuffed cat up to Tenten.

The bun head cocked her head to the side and took the toy from him. Whenever she spends time with Itachi, or someone from her father's side she never brings it with her. Neji shrugged, it really wasn't any of his business what went on with the Uchihas. After loading up the car, they drove into the city. The car ride was silent. Shin-Ten was glaring at Neji the whole time. Tenten rolled her eyes when we would make comments of killing him if he were to do anything to his baby sister or his niece. Neji held it well, however. Based on the lack of emotion coming from her sports-star brother, Shin porbably respected Neji more than he did Sasuke. Tenten remembered the first time she brought Sasuke home; he was given weird looks from her brother and father. Her father couldn't speak Japanese so well, so it was up for Shin and Tenten to translate. Sasuke only knew how to speak Japanese and Korean, which didn't help at all. Shin-Ten had interrogated the hell out of him and nearly scared him half to death by suddenly grabbing the nape of his neck. Tenten felt bad for Sasuke at that point. Her brother was a hard person to impress. And when it also didn't help that Shin was the first family member to find out that she was pregnant.

But Neji, she smiled to herself. Neji was the picture of perfection to her family. He was bright, respectable, and held his composure when talking to her brother. They were friends, though. That's probably why Neji never got what Sasuke did. Tenten's parents became friendly with his, he was allowed to be at Tenten's house late; and she at his. Whenever she was asked where she was or where she was going, all she had to say was that she was with the Hyuga boy and there would be no problem. He helped her study, he trained with her for their club events…almost everything considered to be social, they have done….except date. Which is what they were doing now. Making up for lost time she thought. She guessed that what sold her parents to him was that he was able to communicate with them. He was learning Mandarin, which was what her father spoke. Her father allowed Neji into their house like he was his own son. It was remarkable, she thought. Her father was a hard man when it came to other boys approaching his daughter (which was hard since Tenten was usually surrounded by boys due to all the sports and cheerleading).

"Oh, so this is where you live, Hyuga?" Shin blinked.

Neji nodded as he pulled into the parking space. He helped Tenten out of the car before getting the bags of clothing to bring upstairs. Upon entering, they stopped at the front desk.

"Kiba, this is Tenten. She will be staying with me." The doctor said as he handed his key to the security guard.

The brunette looked at her. Smiling he nodded his head.

"Hey, I'm Inuzuka Kiba. I normally work during the week. In order to get into the building you need to swipe in with me. Then when you leave you swipe out over there." He said pointing to the small machine by the door where a door man stood.

"I should have a key for you by next week, Neji. I'll slip it in your mailbox when its ready.

"Yes, thank you." Neji replied taking his card back.

The three went up the elevator. Neji swiped his key and opened the door to the loud sound of his mother vacuuming the white carpet. Neji called out to her and placed the bags on the couch.

"Oh my dear, I haven't seen you two in so long!" Neji's mother exclaimed rushing over to the Hua siblings.

"Hi, Mrs. Hyuga. Yes it's been a long time…" Shin said sheepishly as Neji's mother cooed over them.

Neji proceeded to put the bags into his room. He had stayed up a little late making room in his closet and dresser for Tenten.

I'm looking forward to this…He thought to himself while humming.

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Suta sat on the couch with her uncle. She had spent the day at the movies with her father and his nurse. She was a nice lady with a weird hair color. On top of that she was named after a flower. Suta didn't know anybody who had pink hair. But, she followed them everywhere they went and even took her to the bathroom when she had to go. She would always ask her father how he was feeling, if there was anything he needed, or needed talk about. She carried a large purse with her with a lot of water bottles. Suta wondered why someone would need a lot of water. When she asked, the nurse simply smiled and said it was "just in case". What did that mean? Suta never figured it out, which bothered her since she always found an answer to everything. Throughout the day, her father had become more distant. He would carry her and be all smiles, but then he would shake a little bit and just hold her hand, the smile slowly fading throughout the day. He wouldn't say a word to her for a long while. But he still held her hand, which was fine, she supposed. There came a point where her father went to the bathroom and was gone for a long time. The nurse had stayed with her, trying to talk to her. But Suta never liked talking to people she didn't know. When her father did come out, the nurse would start asking him questions, and only receiving one word, flat answers. It came down to the point where it was the nurse who named after the flower held her hand as they returned to the hotel. Suta would look over at her father and notice that he would shake sometimes. His hands would shake, and he would drink a lot of water. But he wouldn't speak. It came to the point where he would just nod or shake his head. When she tried to talk to him, Sasuke would just look at her with an emotionless expression and raise a shaky hand to her head. He would stroke her hair for a moment then return to his little bubble. When they got back to the room, Suta was left at the door and watched as the nurse rushed her father to the room. Itachi had walked in a few moments after and found her.

"Is there…anything you want to ask me, Suta?" the eldest Uchiha sibling asked.

Suta sat quiety and sipped her chamomile tea. Itachi sighed and shifted her onto his lap.

"Well dear, your father has been sick." He began to explain.

The little girl looked up at him.

"Sometimes, he feels really happy. That's when he takes his medicine like he's supposed to. But sometimes he starts to feel sad. He could remain sad for a very long time if he doesn't take his medicine. And when he shakes, he becomes worried."

"Why?" Suta asked. "Is he not happy to see me? Is he worried that I will not come back?"

Itachi pursed his lips together.

"No, dear….I actually do not know why he worries like he does. But I want you to know that it is not your fault. It was never your fault. That is just how your father is. He was born like that."

Suta nodded. It was a relief to know it wasn't her fault. She thought he had become angry or did not want to see her anymore.

"It is not my fault." She repeated and sipped her tea.

Itachi looked between her and the room where his little brother was being treated.

"I will make room in my bed," Itachi said. "You will sleep with me as long as you're here."

Suta nodded again and just continued to sip her tea.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Sasuke swallowed his pills and looked down at his hands. He was still shaking and was slightly embarrassed. His daughter almost witnessed him have a panic attack. His anxiety was decreasing before he came to visit. But he really wanted to see he daughter, even if for a little while. He was shocked that Tenten had allowed Suta to be put under his care. But she probably knew that Itachi was going to be with him. He was forcing his brother to use his vacation time so he could partake in his daughter's sixth birthday week. His condition, however, was making this difficult. Sasuke had taken his medication earlier that day. He had gotten up bright and early with his nurses help, took his medication, and then made breakfast for himself and his daughter. He thought they'd be home before it wore off and he was due for his second dose. He felt terrible. He couldn't even hold his own baby girl once it started to wear off. The nurse urged him to drink more water by shoving a cup in his face. As he drained the glass, she closed the curtains.

"She reminds me of you in a way." She said returning to his side and taking the cup.

"I hope in a good way." Sasuke replied, his shaking starting to calm down.

"Yes, actually. But she looks like her mother."

Sasuke took a deep breath. Yes, his heart rate was slowing down, his shaking was calming down, and his mind was becoming clear and light. He looked over at the night table where there was a picture. It was of Tenten holding Suta when she had brought her home for the first time after giving birth.

"She does." Sasuke agreed lying down and pulling the covers over himself.

"Sleep well, Sasuke."

"Likewise, Sakura." He replied turning on his side.

He breathed in again and flipped open his phone. No messages. Should I even bother? He thought. She probably spoke to Itachi today already. Turning over to the other side he sighed. He wanted to share a bed with his daughter tonight. He had requested extra pillows and everything for her. Suta is staying with my brother tonight. He groaned. I must make sure this doesn't happen again.

He shut his eyes.