~A Country Cricket Wedding~
When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
Garth Brooks - To Make You Feel My Love (Archie and Jeanna's love theme)
Along with helping their friends adjust to their new lives, Archie and Jeanna were also busy making plans for their wedding. They rented a nearby firehall for the wedding and the reception. The ladies were going to be making most of the decorations themselves while Rumple offered to make Jeanna's wedding gown. She was going to be a camouflaged bride carrying a fishing pole while her husband to be would be wearing a Stetson hat, black leather vest with jeans and blue button down shirt with boots. Kat and Rumple would make the cake together. It was a marble sheet cake with a lake design and Geppetto made cake toppers of Jeanna holding a fishing pole catching Archie by the seat of his pants. Rumple and Kat were also making the couple a symbolic gift, a rope made from Rumple's spun gold shaped into an eternity knot wrapped around an umbrella inside the image of a funnel cloud. The symbol was framed with a preservation spell done by Kat who had just perfected casting them.
"Dearies, we're going to need to buy stock in a Mason jar company!" Rumple teased as he, Geppetto, Archie, and Pinocchio carried boxes full of the jars into Jeanna's camper. She'd sold her apartment weeks earlier and was living at her campsite until after the wedding. The women were making Mason jar wedding glasses, table centerpieces, hanging candle lights, and glowing walkway lights. Rumple also made them an archway from his spun gold that Jeanna would hang red Solo cup lights from. Henry and Pinocchio were working on the wood signs. The sign for parking simply read: PARK IT. The sign for the bathroom was a picture of a half-moon reading: OUTHOUSE and there was also another sign with the couples' names and the date of the wedding along with the words GOT HITCHED.
The wedding was a small one with fifty guests including people from Robert's office, Archie's office, and their friends. Though she knew the chances of him staying sober long enough were slim, Jeanna still wanted her father to walk her down the aisle. The couple flew to El Paso a week before the wedding to bring Shane back with them and for him to meet his future son-in-law but that meeting didn't go well at all.
"What the hell you marrin a city boy for?"
"Daddy...don't start that..."
"Ever since you went to that city, you've become as high an' mighty as the rest of em!"
"What I did, Daddy, was make somethin' of myself and I sure as hell couldn't do it here when everybody called me trailer park trash!"
"You forgit where you came from!"
"Oh no I don't! I know exactly where I came from but I don't wanna come back to it! Dammit, why can't you be happy for me for once in your damn life?"
"You shoulda married Buck Wilson!"
"And did what, Daddy? Sat at home barefoot and pregnant while he sat on his ass on a barstool all day long reliving his glory days on the high school football team? Not a chance in hell. Why the hell d'ya think I dumped him!"
"He's one of those city boys! And not worth spit!"
"Mr. O'Malley, where I come from shouldn't matter. What should matter is that I love your daughter and want to marry her and it would mean so much to her if you would give her away," Archie spoke up.
"No way in hell am I giving my daughter to a high and mighty city boy!"
"Fine! Then don't come but I am marrying Archie anyway."
"Then you're not bringin' him into this house again!"
"Daddy if you can't accept Archie, then this is the last time you're ever gonna see me again!" Jeanna sobbed.
"You make your bed girl, you lie in it!"
"It's your loss, Mr. O'Malley!" Archie threw over his shoulder as he led his sobbing bride to be outside and embraced her.
"Damn him! He pulled that shit when I was gonna marry Steve too and the son of a bitch had the nerve to say he was glad when Steve killed himself! Me marryin' Buck Wilson...that's been his pipe dream all these years and where is that piece of shit now? Just where I said...sittin on his ass at the bar every day while my ex-best friend sits at home watchin' soaps and havin' one kid after another!"
"You tried honey, that's all you can do. I know of a few people who would love to have the honor of giving you away, Henry included."
She smiled. "I'd rather have him than my father."
Kat stayed with Jeanna at the campsite the weekend of the wedding while Archie slept over at Robert's with Henry and Bae, who was only in human form around family and friends but would remain a ghost during the ceremony. The night before the wedding the mischievous apparition snuck out of the apartment and down to the firehall parking lot where Jeanna's truck was parked to pull a prank on the newlyweds. He had a similar prank in mind for his father's upcoming nuptials.
The limousine that would take Jeanna and Kat to the firehall pulled into the campsite's lot at ten the following morning. The women stepped out of Jeanna's camper in their camouflaged gowns, the bride holding her prized fishing pole in her hand instead of a bouquet.
"You oughta wear camo more often, Kat."
"Oh I would...if I had to hunt someone who was bothering my Bobby."
"It's been what. . . eight months now since you met? About time for you two to set a date."
"I wanted to give him some time. He rushed into his wedding with Belle and..."
Jeanna nodded sympathetically. "You didn't want to be a rebound relationship. I took a while after Steve died before I started dating again but I'm ready to settle down and so is Doc. This is the best day of my life."
"I'm sorry about your father, hon."
"Ehh, don't be. He's an ass and he's always gonna be an ass and I'm not lettin it ruin my day."
"That's the spirit, hon!"
Geppetto and Henry stood outside the fire hall waiting when the limo pulled up. Geppetto escorted Kat into the firehall first followed by the rest of the wedding party.
"Are you ready, Jeanna?" Henry asked her.
"More than ready," she whispered.
Archie smiled softly when he spotted his bride walking down the aisle on his adopted son's arm in her strapless camouflage gown with a sweetheart neckline and princess skirt, her ginger hair pulled back from her face with a matching headband. For a moment he found himself wondering if he were dreaming and any moment he would wake up and find himself back in Storybrooke, still cursed and cowering before the mayor. Those fears were vanquished the moment he felt her hand in his and her green eyes gazing deeply into his blue ones and seeing all the love he felt for her reflected in them.
"You look beautiful," he whispered.
"And you're one damn fine lookin' cowboy..." she purred, tempted to give him a nice swat on his jean covered backside then decided to save it for later.. "C'mon Doc...let's git 'er done."
Archie had been calm most of the day but the moment it was time for him to speak his vows he felt nervous. He didn't enjoy speaking publicly and tried to avoid it as much as possible while he lived in Storybrooke but now that he was a successful therapist on the outside he was required to do it more often, asking one of his colleagues work with him to help him overcome his anxiety. That day of all days, he wanted to be perfect. He took a deep breath, counted to ten and began.
"I came to this city wanting nothing more than to find a place to live, raise my adopted son and always do my best as a therapist. All that changed the moment you breezed into my office that day almost a year ago like a tornado and turned my whole world upside down for the better. Even though I thought I had my happy ending, you made me realize that something was missing. That something was you. I dedicated my whole life to helping others find love and happiness but was never courageous enough to try to find it myself...until I met you and now that I have you, there's nothing I want to do more than spend the rest of my life with you. I love you, Jeanna O'Malley, my Texas Tornado and now more than ever I know we can weather any storm life throws at us together."
For a moment Jeanna was speechless. "Well...Doc..." She laughed nervously. "I'm not good at this... talkin' about how I feel in public but...when we first got started...we were like night and day. After...Steve...I wasn't really looking for a serious relationship and wanted to treat you like you were just another client but that's damned hard to do when you've got your ways of breaking down the walls of a tornado like me. At first it was your determination to help your adopted son find his grandfather but then it was just you...the way you are...any other guy would have been scared off a long time ago and sometimes you think you're not a courageous guy but you're wrong. I've seen how strong you can be and seen how charming you can be and that's what made me want to put away my running boots. Everybody always told me there were plenty of fish in the sea...but I caught the best one Doc...and I'm not letting you off my hook."
Everyone laughed, including the groom who had been expecting her to include her own brand of humor into their special day.
"May we have the rings, please?"
Geppetto and Kat handed the couple their rings. Archie had asked Rumple to make them for him with his spun gold with water waves engraved into them with a camouflaged center.
"With this ring, I pledge my eternal love," Archie said softly as he placed his ring on Jeanna's finger.
"With this ring I pledge my eternal love," Jeanna whispered when she gave Archie his ring.
"Then by the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss your bride."
"Yahooo! Get over here, Doc!" Jeanna exclaimed and grabbed her husband by his collar and kissed him breathless.
"That...was...supposed to be...my job..." he protested between kisses.
"Well I've been waitin' to kiss you all day, Doc."
"You gonna let me come up for air?" he teased.
"Ummm...no!" she said and kissed him again.
"Get a room, dearies!" Robert chuckled.
"After the reception, Bobby," Kat reminded him. "All right you two, break it up!" she laughed.
"Ahh do we have to!" Jeanna protested. "Should just throw you to the floor and have my way with ya," she whispered in her husband's ear.
He blushed. "Jeanna!"
"I don't know what she said, I don't think I wanna know!" Robert threw up his hands.
"You don't..." Archie muttered.
"It's probably something no good Catholic girl should know . . . but would secretly want to," Kat giggled, putting her arm around Robert. "Quit tempting me, Jeanna!"
"Oh believe me, honey, once you find out you're gonna wonder what the hell took you so long to do it."
"I needed to find the right one first," Kat countered. "Someone I could trust and love and who would do the same for me."
"Well like I said...I'm not letting this man off my hook..." Suddenly someone's stomach growled in protest.
Robert scowled at the groom. "You skipped breakfast?"
"I...ahhh...I guess I did," Archie said sheepishly.
"Dammit, Hopper! Who the hell ate everything I put out this morning then?"
Bae laughed from where he was standing. "You know me Papa...I always cleaned my plate."
"Holy crap, Dad!" Henry whispered. "What're you a horse or what?"
"He's always eaten like one," Robert mumbled. "I once told him I was gonna have to get a horse trough because the boy couldn't keep food on his plate."
"Papa, I couldn't help myself. You're too damned good of a cook and didn't you always tell me not to waste?"
Jeanna glowered at him. "You're lucky you're not solid, ghost boy, or I'd be whuppin your sorry ass for starvin' my husband. Now we better get some KFC in him so he doesn't pass out on me tonight!" Bae, when he was invisible to others, was able to communicate with his friends and family with the help of a special spell by Robert so that outsiders wouldn't see or hear them talking to him or him talking to them. They would just assume they were talking to each other.
"Well at least now I know Bae won't walk away from my table hungry!" Kat joked.
"Oh yeah and now I can eat all I want and not get sick!" he boasted.
The bride was smirking. "You wanna bet on that, ghost boy? Ten bucks says you puke by the end of the night."
"I won't."
Robert had his suspicions that his son was in for a rude awakening once he did take human form later.
Inside the firehall, the Charmings and the Lucases were getting everything set up for the reception. Granny, Robert and Kat had prepared most of the food but Archie insisted on making the fried chicken himself hoping Jeanna would like his as much as KFC's after trying to duplicate its breading recipe as best he could. Robert and Kat's contributions to the meal were veal saltimbocca, penne with vodka sauce and a string bean salad along with Italian Wedding Soup. Granny made corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, hamburger sliders and homemade French Fries in cones. There was something for every appetite at the buffet.
While the newlyweds posed for pictures under the red Solo cup archway, Henry started setting up the playlist of songs for the evening. It was a mixture of country music and rock and pop hits from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and 2000s. When the photographer finally finished, he turned on the microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our bride and groom, Archie and Jeanna Hopper!" he announced.
Kat stood up and started tapping her Mason jar glass with her spoon, motioning for the others to do the same.
"What does that mean?" Robert asked her.
"It's for them to kiss...and it has to be good or they have to do it again."
"Oh I don't think they'll have any trouble with that," Geppetto chuckled, tapping his glass enthusiastically. "Come on, Charming...tap it!" he ordered his friend.
"We should've had things like this at our wedding," David muttered to his wife.
Little Neal Nolan pounded his high chair with his hand.
"What are they doing?" Archie whispered to his bride. "Is that supposed to mean something?"
"Oh yes...come over here, Doc!"
"Jeanna, what...?" Her lips were on his before he could utter another syllable.
"Hmmm...don't think we were convincing enough...wanna try again?" she suggested, hearing the guests still tapping their glasses.
"Absolutely!" He was beginning to like this new world's wedding traditions and pulled his wife closer to him and kissed her passionately.
Snow fanned herself with her napkin. "Oh my...I never thought Archie could kiss like that!"
"What'm I . . . chopped liver?" her husband demanded jealously.
"Oh stop it, you know I love you."
"Well, tell them to hurry the heck up...I'm starving!" Bae complained.
"You'd better let Archie eat first since you wolfed down his breakfast this morning, Dad." Henry teased. "Unless you want Jeanna to whup your butt."
"Ahhh . . . bring it on."
Once everyone was sitting back down with their food, Kat rose and held up her glass. "The matron of honor does not always toast the bride and groom but we're making a bit of an exception." She glanced down at the newly married couple and smiled.
"A pitter patter of little feet you shall hear
As many as you wish to hold dear
Sent they will be from the heavens above
To the ones united by the power of true love!"
Jeanna's abdomen glowed with a faint white light under the table and the bride was in tears when she looked up at her new friend. "T...Thank you, Kat..." she sniffled.
"Grandpa...what did she do?" Henry whispered.
Robert smiled proudly. "Jeanna is unable to have children . . . Kat just reversed it."
"Life's greatest blessing. And sometimes curse too," Bae smirked. "Depending on what the kid gets into as they grow up."
Ruby laughed. "And if the kid's anything like its mother, its gonna drive Archie crazy!"
"Like I drove you crazy, right, Papa?" his son queried of Robert.
"Ye still do!"
"I'm supposed to!" Bae shot back. "Otherwise it'd be boring. And the best part of being an adult who still drives his papa crazy is that you can't punish me for it like you did when I was nine."
Nine was the year that Robert often called Bae's Hellion Year, or the Year When He Turned Rumple's Hair Gray.
"I think I want to hear this..." Granny said.
"You'd be here all night," Robert smirked.
"And he's probably forgotten half of it anyway," Bae interjected quickly, hoping that were the case.
"Oh I don't think so, dearie . . . . " Kat purred.
"And he can find a way to spank a ghost, Dad!" Henry joked.
Geppetto stood up and laughed nervously. "Well, don't think I'll be able to top that...but...Archie, we've been friends for a long time...and in that time you've sacrificed so much to ensure that others were happy and never once tried to find it yourself. But you finally finding your own happy ending was all I ever wanted my old friend but it wasn't waiting for you where we came from. You did the courageous thing and ventured out into the world to find it and you couldn't have chosen a more...interesting bride. You're a bit stormy...and a little spicy, Jeanna but I think that's what Archie needs. To Archie and Jeanna!"
"Okay now let's EAT!" Bae yelled.
"Should put a feed bag on that boy," Jeanna muttered and grabbed a drumstick off her plate and bit into it. "Oh my God...this is better than KFC," she moaned in bliss. "Remind me to thank the cook. . . whichever one of you it was."
"You can kiss him instead," Archie said as he was about to take a bite of a chicken breast and it dropped back onto his plate when his wife grabbed him and kissed him.
"You're never gonna get anything to eat at this rate, Archie!" Bae laughed.
"Ohh yes he is," Jeanna picked up the chicken breast and fed it to him while Henry covered his and Neal's eyes. The baby grabbed at his hands and tried to pull them away from his face. "You're not getting up from this table, Doc, til I'm sure you've had enough to eat," she joked and continued feeding him while he fought to keep from blushing.
There was barely anything left over from the wedding banquet with a little help from Bae who still believed he could eat as much as he wanted to without getting sick, unaware that once he took human form he would as father predicted be as sick as dog. He'd missed this world's food so much and was determined to enjoy himself.
After dinner Henry walked back over to the DJ's table. "Okay...folks... we're gonna have the bride and groom dance first and then switch things up a bit and give some of you a shot at karaoke so rest your voices. Now, would Mr. and Mrs. Hopper come out to the dance floor please?"
Archie took his wife's hand and led her out to the dance floor as the opening notes of Garth Brooks' 'To Make You Feel My Love' began to play.
"This is the best day of my life, Doc," Jeanna murmured, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Mine too," he murmured. He spun her around the room gracefully, silently thanking Snow White for teaching him how to dance while they were still cursed. He'd been asked to chaperon a social at the school years before and Ruby went with him as his date, only as friends and he didn't want to look silly on the dance floor. Unfortunately, she'd only had time to give him a few lessons prior to the social and he'd stepped on Ruby's toes several times that night.
"I can't wait until we're alone..."
"Neither can I..."
For the next four minutes, they imagined there was no one else in the hall but the two of them but all too soon the song was over and a hall full of guests waited for them. Archie gently kissed his bride and they returned to their table.
"Okay...it's karaoke time...who's gonna be our first victim?" Henry asked.
Robert rose from his chair with a grin. "Allow me, dearie."
He strode over to the DJ's table. "Friends In Low Places, Henry. I'm feeling a bit...wicked tonight."
His grandson burst into laughter. "I'm gonna record this!"
"Wonder what he's gonna sing?" Jeanna pondered.
Archie shrugged. "I don't know but...with that look on his face...he's got something devious up his sleeve."
"Blame it all my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair..." Robert began.
"Yahooooo! My song! SING IT!" Jeanna bellowed.
"The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one you thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took your glass of champagne
And I toasted you
Said honey we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain
Cause I got FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES..." Robert sang gleefully, the image of a certain librarian and thief in his mind.
"I got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases
My blues away
And I'll be okay
Yeah I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Cause I got friends in low places..." everyone in the hall started singing along as they filled their Mason jar glasses with beer, wine, champagne and fruit punch for the kids.
"Somebody oughta send this huge middle finger to Belle...and the rest of that town," Bae mumbled.
"Well, I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then, I've been there before
Everything's all right
I'll just say goodnight
And I'll show myself to the door
Hey, I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just give me an hour and then
Well, I'll be as high
As that ivory tower
That you're livin' in
Cause I got friends in low places..."
"If he doesn't sing the third verse I'm gonna whup him with that cane he carries around," Jeanna whispered.
"Maybe he doesn't know it." Archie suggested.
"Ahhh I think he knows it...and I think he's gonna use it to give a certain Dumb Belle a nice middle finger in her face, don't you, Kat?"
"Oh I certainly hope so and I'm recording this...because I would just love to see the look on her self-righteous face when she hears it!"
Rumple smirked at his friends. "There's a third verse to this song I'd like to dedicate to my ex . . . and the people in our hometown who never thought me good enough for anything..."
Archie, Henry, Kat, Bae, Snow, Charming, Geppetto, Pinoccho, Ruby, Granny and Jeanna started laughing.
"Well I guess I was wrong
I just don't belong
But then...I've been there before
Everything's all right
I'll just say good night and I'll show myself to the door
Hey I didn't mean to cause a big scene
Just wait til I finish this glass
Then sweet little lady I'll get back to the bar...
AND YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!
Cause I got friends in low places...!"
Everyone in the hall raised their Mason jar glasses in salute.
"Sing it, Rob!" one of his fellow partners hooted.
"You did tell me he was bit of showman back in your world," Jeanna whispered to her groom.
"Ah, let him have his fun. It's good for him."
Robert gazed out at Kat with a smile on his lips. "This next one I'd like to dedicate to my beautiful date, Miss Katherine Fiochetta!"
Kat moved to the front of the crowd holding back tears as Robert began to sing 'You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This' by Toby Keith.
"...They're all watchin' us now
They think we're falling in love
They'd never believe we're just friends
When you kiss me like this
I think you mean it like that
If you do baby kiss me again
Kiss me again..."
"I think we'll be having another wedding soon," Archie whispered to his bride.
"Yeah I think it's time," she whispered back. "Tell Henry I want to do the bouquet and garter toss now...and you'd better make sure you aim for Rob."
"And you throw yours right at Kat."
"Sounds like a plan, Doc."
Jeanna sauntered over to the DJ's table. "We're gonna do the bouquet and garter toss before we end with the dancing, Henry...and we need you to help us out a bit okay...we wanna throw them at your grandpa and Kat."
The young sorcerer grinned. "Say no more. You throw and I'll do the rest."
Jeanna gave her husband a thumbs-up.
"All right...Jeanna and Archie want to do the bouquet and garter toss. Will all the single women come to the dance floor please?"
Please, please let me catch it! Kat pleaded silently, not wanting to use her own magic to do so.
She moved to the front of the line while Jeanna turned her back to them and tossed the bouquet into the air. Before Henry had a chance to cast his spell, Robert cast his own and the bouquet landed in Kat's outstretched hand.
Sneaky one, Grandpa...sneaky...Henry thought.
Kat looked down at the bouquet in her hand a smile on her lips when she felt the traces of Robert's spell and was determined to work a little magic of her own when it was time to toss the garter.
Geppetto brought out a chair for Jeanna to sit in while Archie kneeled beside her. She smirked at him and threw her leg up over his shoulder.
"Come and git it, Doc..." she crooned.
His fingers grasped the band of camouflaged lace and pulled it down slowly, his blue eyes gazing hungrily into hers, looking forward to when they would be alone. He missed waking up next to her in the morning and her face being the last he saw before he went to sleep at night, his nightmares of that horrible night with Regina a distant memory now.
He smiled when he thought back to the day they returned to the camp with the photographs she'd risked so much to get back. She tossed them into the bus rim firepit and together they watched them burn, her holding his hand.
"That witch is done hurting you, Doc, and I mean it when I say I'll skin her if she tries again."
"I love you, Jeanna."
When there was nothing left but ashes in the firepit she giggled and grabbed his hand again, pulling him toward the camper. "We got more celebratin' to do Doc and I wanna take it indoors before we get arrested!"
Later on she woke him up and asked him to gather up all their blankets and pillows.
"Why?"
"You'll see."
They drove out to a remote spot by the lake after stopping at a nearby KFC and after she parked the truck Jeanna used the blankets and pillows to make a makeshift bed for them in the back. She turned on the music and crawled into the truckbed, patting the pillow in invitation.
"Jeanna…here? What if someone sees….?"
"Just gonna lay here cuddled up like bugs in rugs, eat our KFC, sip some Bud and listen to the radio tonight, Doc, but one of these days I'm gonna bring you outdoors and have my way with you," she smirked.
In the distance, he could hear crickets chirping.
"Looks like your friends followed us."
He drew her closer. "Did you hear any back in Texas?"
"Hon we got insects in Texas that are huge and I'm not joking either. Even seen some of your cricket friends that were pretty big and we used to get swarms of em down there and people were annoyed with em but they never bothered me. Never imagined I would fall in love with a guy who used to be one."
"I want to go to Texas sometime."
"Yeah you gotta meet my daddy eventually and I wanted to have a ranch someday like Southfork on Dallas."
When we get married we will eventually, he thought as he drifted off to sleep still holding her in his arms.
Archie was still smiling when he stood up with the garter in his hand on their wedding day.
"Okay...now let's have all the single men come out to the floor."
"That garter is MINE," Robert hissed.
Archie turned his back and tossed it over his shoulder.
Bae swooped to the front of the line. "Oh no you don't, Papa, it's mine!" he taunted and reached for it.
Kat waved her hand, casting a freezing spell on everyone other than the Storybrooke residents, herself, and Jeanna before she floated the garter over to Robert. As he reached out to grasp it, Bae jumped up and reached for it again. "Nope! Still mine!"
"Ye scamp!" Robert growled. "Gimme that right now or I'll be finding a way to turn ye over my knee while yer still a ghost!"
"Gotta catch me first..."
Kat floated the garter away from her future stepson and over to her fiancé again to try to take but suddenly Bae took flight and reached out to snatch it away.
"Na na na na na na hey hey goodbye!" he sang.
"Oh no ye don't! It's mine ye understand. Mine all mine!" Robert cast a floating spell and chased his son around the firehall. "Ye're not the only one who can fly now, ye scamp!"
The bride and groom were clinging to each other with tears in their eyes as they laughed hysterically.
"Oh yeah you can, Papa . . . on SNAIL AIRLINES!"
"A little help here if ye will?" Rumple begged his fiancé and grandson.
"Whassamatter, Papa? Getting too tired to catch up to me?"
"Ye think so lad? I'm no' that tired yet!" Robert flew at his son and tackled him to the floor, snatching the prized garter out of his hands. Ye see. MINE!" he declared, holding it high in the air. Kat unfroze the guests.
"What's so funny?" one of Robert's partners asking him.
"Nothing," he giggled impishly. "Nothing at all...just when I want something...I get it!"
"Come on Kat, you know you want him to put it on you." Jeanna teased her friend.
"He certainly worked hard enough to get it!"
Both were blushing as Robert slid the garter up Kat's thigh and once it was in place he quickly removed his hand though in his mind he was wishing they were already married and he could touch her as he pleased and she was having a difficult time trying to bury her own naughty thoughts.
Oh, I'll have to spend longer in confession tomorrow, she thought.
"Come on, Doc...let's get outta here," Jeanna murmured, linking her arm through Archie's.
"Ummm...we'd like to thank everyone for coming...and for your well wishes but...ahhh...we should be going now..." he announced, his cheeks flushed. "Good night!"
They walked out to the truck and Archie opened the door for his new bride and helped her into the cab then climbed into the driver's seat. His hand paused on the ignition key and he wrinkled his nose in disgust at the stench of rotten fish heavy in the air. "Jeanna, didn't we clean the truck out after our last fishing trip?"
"Yeah, so why the hell does it smell like there's a fish in here that's been dead a week?"
"I don't know but I need some air before I vomit," he gasped and rolled down the window.
Jeanna bent over and looked under the passenger seat. "What the...who the hell...when I git my hands on 'em I'm gonna use their guts for fish bait!" she raged, sitting up with a dead trout dangling from her fingers.
"Throw it out!" Archie cried, his face pale.
"Oh no, Doc . . . you're not gonna be spendin' our weddin' night pukin your guts up!" Jeanna dropped the trout out the window and climbed out of the truck, glaring at the crowd. "Okay, who's the wiseass who put the dead fish in ma truck?" Archie leaned against the truckbed, inhaling the fresh air with vigor. The guests that could be seen and heard were shaking their heads while the one that couldn't except by a select group of people was leaning against the side of the firehall laughing hysterically. Jeanna hurled the trout at him. It passed through him and hit the wall then dropped to the ground. He put his fingers in his ears and stuck his tongue out.
"Missed me!" he taunted.
"Baelfire!" Robert hissed under his breath.
"Good one, Dad," Henry chuckled.
"Bae, really!" Kat rolled her eyes. "The Grumpy Old Men dead fish gag?"
"Poor Archie looks like he's about to throw up his dinner," Geppetto said sympathetically.
"That little shit! He betta hope I never catch 'im when he's solid or he's gonna get the ass beatin' of a lifetime!" Jeanna ranted. "You okay over here Doc or am I gonna havta stop an' get ya some Pepto Bismol?"
"Getting there," he murmured.
"Good. Still gonna whack that boy when he gets solid. I'll drive."
"No, I'll drive." He reached out to take the keys from her.
"You need to rest your stomach a bit."
"Honey, I'm fine now." he insisted and started up the engine. They could hear beer bottles and cans bouncing along the pavement as they drove away. Bae and Henry tied them to the back of the truckbed with the words JUST HITCHED written in soap on the back window.
They drove back to Jeanna's camp. Once she stepped out of the truck Archie reached for her and tried to pick her up.
"Umm...hon...we're goin down to the dock to get the boat," she said and took her fishing gear out of the storage container in the truckbed, smiling to herself anticipating her husband's response to the little surprise she had in store for him and with a little help from her magical friends it was the perfect night for it.
She recalled how Kat blushed when she broached the subject with her first. "That sounds wonderful…and a little naughty!" she giggled.
"There's a spot by the lake I wanna take Doc to where no one's gonna bother us but I really don't wanna be makin love with my man and get rained on then havta spend our honeymoon in bed with the flu."
"I'll look through the spell books and see what I can come up with. If I have to ask Bobby to help I'll be discreet about it."
"But I'm gonna tease him a little by making him think we're going fishing. He'll probably be a bit crabby at first but…"
Kat laughed. "Not when he finds out what you have in mind!"
Later that night the two women went out to the woods to get everything set up. Jeanna placed a sleeping bag on the ground with pillows and her warmest blankets while Kat warded the area as an extra precaution. Anyone or anything that happened to pass by the site would not be able to see, hear or even approach the lovers. They also brought a large bucket of KFC that Kat cast a preservation spell over along with the bottles of beer. Everything would still be fresh when they arrived. Jeanna surrounded the blanket with multicolored solar lights and a battery powered docking station for her phone to play music. She knew her husband probably had his own plans for them but he had the rest of the week to carry them out.
"You got anything we can use not to freeze if I take Doc skinny dipping down at the lake?"
"Oh I think we can find something. You're going all out, aren't you?"
"Yep. Dunno what Doc's got planned I'm gonna give him a weddin night and a honeymoon he won't forget. Been missin havin him in my bed this weekend but we're gonna make up for it on our weddin night. And thanks for all your help, hon."
"You're welcome. I know you'll have a wonderful time."
"Your turn's comin, sweetie. I'm thinkin Bobby will be ready when he sees me and Doc gettin hitched."
Kat smiled. "I hope so, Jeanna. But only IF he's ready."
"…You want to go fishing...now? But...but it's our wedding night! I thought we would..." he protested.
"The rest of our gear is in the camper. You wanna grab it for me?"
"It's our wedding night...she's been talking about wanting to be alone all day and when we get here she doesn't want to go to bed, she wants to go fishing!" he muttered while he walked to the camper.
"You say somethin, hon?"
"No nothing," he called back and shook his head. He was silent while they carried their gear down to the dock and loaded it onto the boat. She started up the engine and drove it out onto the lake.
"You sure you're okay, hon? You've been quiet since we started out on the lake."
"I'm fine. Jeanna, where are we going?"
"Ah, just some good fishin spot I wanna show you."
And it can't wait until tomorrow morning? he thought grouchily.
"There it is!" she announced half an hour later when she pulled the boat along the shore and shut off the engine. "Come on hon."
"I thought we were going fishing."
"Yeah we are, but I wanna show you something first. Just leave that stuff in the boat," she said when he started gathering up their fishing gear. He shook his head and followed her up the hill and into the woods.
"Jeanna, what are we doing?"
"I told ya...we're going fishing but I wanna show you this first."
This has to be the oddest wedding night anyone has ever had.
"Well...ummm...how far are we going?"
"Just a bit farther. It's back here."
"What is?"
"Just something I want to show ya...now don't get crabby on me, Doc."
"Jeanna, it's our wedding night...don't you think we should go back to the camper...?"
"Oh will you quit bein a lump on a log and c'mon! We're almost there."
"Oh, all right!"
She disappeared behind the trees. "Jeanna, stop playing around. Where are you?"
She poked her head out from behind the tree. "Back here, Doc. Got something to show you."
He looked around. "I don't see anything. Where is it?"
"You have to sit down first."
"Why?"
"Do it or I'm not gonna show you anything," she said stubbornly.
Irritated, he sat down. "Jeanna, honey I love you, I do but you are trying my patience here. Now what is so important that you dragged me out into the middle of the woods, on our wedding night, no less, for?"
She rushed at him and tackled him to the ground and he found himself lying on top of the sleeping bag. "So I could finally...finally have my way with you!" she murmured as she started to unbutton his shirt. "Is that important enough for you?"
"Oh yes," he sighed contentedly and reached behind her back to unzip her dress. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. "You can have your way with me as much as you want tonight... but what…what if someone…." He sat still holding her. ]
"Been wantin to do this since we got together but don't have much privacy in this place, at least we didn't till Kat set up some wards so Doc we can make love all we want and no one's gonna see or hear us!" She tackled him again, laughing wickedly. "And tomorrow evenin' we're gonna get in the truck, fill the bed up with blankets, pillows, KFC, some Bud and we'll be…"
"…Goin around the world in a pickup truck," Archie chuckled, quoting the lyrics from Garth Brooks.
"And we ain't goin down til the sun comes up!" she finished. "And maybe do a little skinny dippin," she added with a grin.
"Jeanna, the lake will be cold and we don't want to get arrested for incent exposure!"
"Got something for that too. No way are we spendin' our honeymoon in bed with the flu or in jail!"
"Well right now I'd like to go around the world right here," he murmured.
They made love to each other that evening wildly, more passionately than they ever had before now that they knew they had all night and all the privacy they needed to do so and later on they lay in each other's arms in the sleeping bag gazing up at the now starlit sky and listening to the crickets chirping their own song to the night.
"Did you do that when you were a cricket?" Jeanna asked him.
"Yes. I probably sounded terrible compared to the others but I didn't care. I felt free for the first time in years and could go and do whatever I wanted and the only thing I wanted was to find Geppetto and help him as best I could. We had our fights over the years about what I did but he eventually forgave me."
"Rumple's right. Your parents are to blame more for what happened than you are and my daddy would have done the same thing, switched the damn bottles. He was always good at hiding his booze that way. Can't forget the one time I needed rubbing alcohol to put on a bad cut I had and pouring out Jim Beam instead. Momma was so mad. I don't miss him Archie...and I know that's wrong of me but I don't. And I don't think you miss your momma and daddy either."
"I don't," he confessed. "I always told myself that if I ever had any children of my own, I would bring them up right."
"We've already gotten started on making one, haven't we?"
He patted her still flat abdomen. "It'll be a bit strange...us having a baby at our age...but I don't care. I'm ready to be a father...and I know you're ready to be a mother."
"You think Henry will have a problem with it?"
"No, he'll enjoy playing the role of a big brother but I have a feeling we're going to be as crazy as Rumple if our child is anything like us."
"You're the quiet one. I'm the tornado," she giggled.
"Oh I can be a bit stormy when I want to be."
She buried her face in his shoulder. "I love you either way, Doc." She raised her head and kissed him. "Did you like our little fishing trip tonight?"
"Mmmm...I reeled in the best catch."
"So did I."
"You don't want to go back to the camper, do you?"
"No, do you?"
He grinned. "Maybe in the morning...or later..."
"Ohhh so you like making love outdoors, Doc?"
"Learn something new with you every day, don't I?"
"I've got a lot to show you, Doc...just hope you're ready for it."
"Oh I am...now then...why don't I show you just how much I like making love outdoors, hmmm?" he teased, flipping her over. "And now that I've had all these months of warmup I'm gonna show you how this cricket makes love to his woman."
"Show me, Doc," she moaned. "Show me..."
And for the rest of the night he did until the sun rose over the hill in the morning. It had been the perfect wedding night and only the start of a wonderful life together.
A/N: Archie and Jeanna's wedding theme was inspired by the actual wedding of one of my friends. Once again we are so happy with the following this story is getting and next up Kat and Bobby at last get the wedding Bobby has deserved all along! - CJ