Chapter 11

Maura didn't know what to say, but she knew that she had to wait for Jane to tell her what happened in Morales. If she asked or pushed her, the Ranger would clam up and not tell her anything. And, then Maura wouldn't know if she could help her or if she'd hurt her by something that she did or said. She wanted Jane to stay comfortable around her. She liked Jane and she liked having a friend. She didn't have many and besides Vincent and Barrold, she wasn't so sure that Jane had many either. So, she sat there, quietly, with her hands in her lap as Jane drove the wagon on.

Jane didn't know what to say. She didn't think that the school teacher needed to know about what happened in Morales. It was hard enough knowing that Korsak knew everything. He had been the one that found Jane after everything had happened. He was the one that took her back to the Apaches to hide out until she was ready to come back to civilization. She knew that Korsak didn't understand her need, but she needed someone who didn't really know her as Ranger Jane Rizzoli to help her heal and find her way back to the life she knew. She couldn't do it on her own and that had been hard enough to admit aloud. Being seen as weak and broken had almost killed her. She'd thought about eating a bullet for months as she sat in the wickiup. At one point she hoped that the medicine man was actually poisoning her. She didn't want to come back. She didn't want to see Korsak. She didn't think that she would be able to go back to work.

"It was a long time ago, Maura, and it doesn't really matter too much now. All you really need to know is that Hoyt isn't a man. He is a monster. He is evil personified. If the Devil is real, he is his minion," Jane told her.

"And, you survived him?" Maura asked, trying not to push for more.

"Yes."

"Then, that must make you an angel," Maura mused.

Jane wanted to laugh. Being a devout Catholic and Italian, she should find the humor in Maura's word because in the duality of Christianity it was the obvious conclusion, but she couldn't. She didn't feel like an angel. She still felt broken...different...changed. She didn't know if that was a good thing or if it was just something that she would just have to learn to live with. So far, so good, but time was a cruel mistress. She caught a look at Maura from the corner of her eye. The blonde wasn't laughing. She looked serious. And, it was then that Jane realized that she seemed to be in awe of the Ranger.

"I am hardly an angel."

"Well, I would not say in the Biblical sense, no, but how do you know that you aren't?" Maura asked.

"I am not."

"But why?" Maura probed, hoping that the question would pull Jane out of the melancholy that was starting to cover her.

"I drink. I swear. I don't really care to get married and have children, much to my mother's dismay. I hunt criminals for a living."

"So, you imbibe alcohol and swear a little. I am sure that it is for stress relief. I am sure that your job is hard. I wouldn't doubt that. Anyone that chooses to forgo the comforts of a stable home environment in order to make sure that those back at the homestead were safe and cared for should be an angel in my book. I would think that you were a hero, doing work that not everyone can stomach. You've proven yourself not only to the people of this area, but also to the Governor. He chose you out of all the Rangers to escort me. That should tell you something. Also the fact that you are woman, should tell you plenty more. I don't think that anything that you say to me would distract from the fact that you've been a hero to many out here in the Texas prairie. And, to some, that would make you an angel," Maura said.

Jane flicked the reins. She couldn't speak. No one had ever defined her with such...eloquence before. It literally made her feel dumb and stupid. She wasn't sure that she could adequately say anything at to make Maura understand how she felt or how Maura made her feel sometimes. She was in awe of the honey blonde. She wasn't sure what it meant but she wasn't sure that hated it either.

She reached for her hat and wiped her brow. The sun was beating down and memories of Morales were swirling through her head. She shoved the hat back on her head and gave the reins another flick. The horses whinnied at the slap of the reins, but didn't go any faster. Like everyone else and everything else in the cavalcade, they were following the leader...the Army.

She closed her eyes and willed the pain to go away. Her hands burned and itched. She hated it, but she couldn't make them stop.

"It was just after an offensive against the Apache to the southwest of here. They were a warrior clan, like all Apache, but they didn't try to live in peace with the settlers. I am not sure what branch of Apache they called themselves but it didn't matter...it doesn't matter. I was heading towards Morales. It's southwest of Stockton and just passed the southern most point of the Pecos valley. There were rumors that a man was there, with some Apache renegades, who was hunting the Morales locals. The Rangers were called in to see if we could locate the man," Jane started quietly.

Maura turned to face her. She regarded her face. It was stoic and reserved. Her eyes had glassed over and Maura couldn't help but feel that Jane was reliving the horrible events of Morales as she told her. She wasn't sure why the Ranger was even telling her, but she wasn't going to interrupt her. She owed Jane her silence if she was brave enough to open up and tell her the story of what tormented her so deeply.

She looked up. Her hands were on fire. She gripped the reins tighter. If it wasn't for her gloves, she knew that Maura would see how white her knuckles were.

"I'd rounded up some sheriffs and a few local posse members. We rode for Morales. Korsak was coming behind me with more men. He's stopped in Stockton. It was a favor for me. He knew that if I'd gone home asking for help, my Ma would yell at me for heading into the fray and my younger brother would want to help. He told me that it took every bit of convincing to get Frankie to stay in Stockton and be ready for our return. Bodaway, an Apache that lived in Stockton, offered to go with Korsak in Frankie's place. He was a friend of our family and a good friend of mine. He was one of the few that taught me to hunt, scavenge when I needed to and how to track, besides the Apache language. Korsak knew that he would be a good asset and Frankie couldn't argue with that. So, he stayed behind. All three of them would later regret this when Korsak found me in Morales. He would swear that he should have been the one taken by Hoyt. Frankie was angry that he wasn't there to help us hunt the man down that hurt his older sister. He male pride wounded more than he'll even admit. And, Bodaway just took me away from it all."

"He sounds like a good friend," Maura stated, hoping that it would let Jane know that she was listening and was welcoming the story for Jane's sake.

"His name means 'fire maker' and he liked to make fire. Don't get me wrong about that. He had a healthy respect for fire itself. He never used it against anyone. It was just his name. But, he was like a trouble magnet, like me I guess. It was why we got along so well. We got each other out of enough scrapes that we helped each other. After Korsak found me, Bodaway was a Godsend. Korsak practically told him to whisk me off before my mother could get to me. And, he did. He saved my life, but I couldn't save his. Damn Army and it's blankets. He caught influenza that year. He didn't last the winter."

"I am sorry, Jane," Maura said, reaching over and squeezing Jane's right hand.

"He was a good man and I'll never forget what he did for me. He helped me fight the nightmares. He helped me learn...to...live again. He found a way to give me purpose. He saved my life. Korsak may have save my body, but Bodaway gave me back a life that I could be proud of again. Frankie has learned that there was nothing he could have done, but Korsak still blames himself for my misfortune. Claiming that if he hadn't gone to Stockton in my place that nothing would have happened to me, but we really don't know that. Hoyt has it out for me. I am the one that got away. I am the one that survived. I stood up to him and I walked away from his madness, albeit with help, but I did it," Jane added.

Maura squeezed her hand again. She would have taken it in her hand, but she knew that Jane needed both for the reins. She turned to face the prairie before them. It was another way that she could give Jane her support. By not facing her and watching expressions, Maura was giving Jane the latitude to continue if she wanted.

"I rode into Morales on a Tuesday. That is about all I could remember until just before Korsak found me. I checked the town out and nothing seemed to catch my eye. What I didn't know was that I'd caught his. I was riding around on Jo through town making myself known. So I am sure that I was all puffed and trying to look big and bad. I don't know if I pulled off the look I was going for or not. By the end of the night, I was in a barn somewhere I didn't know.

"Hoyt had kidnapped me as I walked back from the livery that I'd put Jo up in while I was town. I was walking down the boardwalks to the inn in hopes of a good, hot cooked meal. I never made it to the hotel. I had only been in town for just over a week, but he had been following me. Watching my every move. He wanted to make me his grand finale, his work of art, his last mark on Texas before he moved on. I intrigued him. I baffled him. And, he didn't like it. He wanted to see what made me me and he wasn't going to stop until he found out."

"Jane..." Maura said gripping her hand tighter as she saw that Jane wasn't on the buckboard bench anymore. She was back in Morales. And, she was haunted by what she saw. Maura was trying to pull her back into the here and now, but Jane couldn't let go of it. She needed to get it out for some reason and she knew that Maura would listen to her horrid tale without question. For some reason, that was a enough for her. She hadn't even told her mother everything, but she was willing to tell a total stranger, well not completely a total stranger, what happened to her. Korsak was one of the few that knew all the terrible details of her capture and torture by Hoyt. Casey liked the think that he knew. Frost knew better than to ask, but he knew enough to know when and where to push Jane to her limits again. Frankie and her Ma knew only what she told them and what they could deduce from her injuries.

"He took me that night. I think he used chloroform to drug me, 'cause I don't remember much past walking down those boardwalks towards the hotel in Morales. I can remember the smell of the livery and horses. I can remember hearing the piano being played at the saloon. Other than that is was a quiet night. There hadn't been a reason to beef up patrols except for Hoyt's antics and the posse and the other law enforcement officials didn't see the need for 'round the clock protection. Hoyt was a new kind of criminal. He defied all the odds and did everything that we thought he wouldn't. He'd stopped attacking the people of the town shortly after I showed up. Now, I know it was because I had become his new target. He was biding his time and watching and waiting for the perfect chance to strike."

"Jane, you don't have to tell me. I get the picture. He is a very bad man."

"He isn't a man, Maura. That's the problem. How do you kill the devil?" Jane asked her as she finally turned to face her, tears pricking her eyes.