A/N: Here comes another chapter, doo-dee-doo.
6. Run through the Varden camp screaming "Look out, it's Galbatorix! Everyone run!" When Eragon comes out of his tent dressed for battle yell "haha, punked you!", and run for your life.
"Dammit Tameera! Eragon was trying to chase after the teenager while covered in cumbersome, heavy armor. And, believe it or not, he was failing spectacularly.
"Look, look, it's Thorn and Mutry" She pointed behind him. And he fell for it.
"WHERE? Hey, where'd they go….awww…crap"
7. Call him Luke and ask him what happened to his lightsaber.
"Hiya Luke, is the force with you today?"
"…Not that I'm aware of…"
"Look out, Murty, I mean, Vader is right behind you! Use your lightsaber to cut him in half!"
"I don't have a lightsaber… And I don't know anyone called Vader…"
"Suuuuure Luke…."
"Stop calling me that."
8. Sneak up to him and say in a creepy, low voice, "Luke, I am your Father"
Tameera snuck through the Camp, dodging sentries and torchlight. She, of course, tripped several times. The amount of noise caused was multiplied a whole lot by the heavy, cumbersome Darth Vader suit she wore.
After some not-quite-suitable-for-the-rating-on-this-fic swearing, Tameera finally made it to her victim's tent. She snuck up to his head and, using the voice modifier, whispered her evil into his ear.
"Luke, I am your Father" Tameera barely kept herself from laughing out loud as he rolled off the bed and started swearing, much like she had a few moments ago.
"Stop calling me that! I don't know anyone called Luke! Why do you keep calling me that?"
For an answer, she gave him Star Wars Episodes 4, 5, and 6 in book form.
9. Tell Arya Eragon thinks she looks fat in leather. Watch in the shadows as she goes over to Eragon and gives him hell.
"Hey, Mary-Sue" Arya looked up in annoyance at the human girl standing in front of her.
"What do you want?" she sounded faintly irritated. Good. That means Tameera's doing her job properly.
"I want to ruin Eragon's chances of ever getting paired up with you!"
"…What?"
"Oh, nothing, nothing at all. Other than the fact Eragon thinks you look like a sumo wrestler in that leather. In other words, he thinks you're fat"
"WHAT? I'LL FREAKING KILL HIM!"
10. Make him read fan fictions relentlessly. Linger for a while on all the shipping speculations.
Eragon was sitting in his tent bemoaning his fate, (as per normal), when suddenly a large net fell on him and something whacked him over the head with a baseball bat. I think we all know what happened. When he came to, he was tied to a chair, much like Angela in one of the previous chapters.
He had the exact same reaction, too.
A/N: Oh my god, I'm so sorry for not updating!