Disclaimer:
I don't own Bleach.To Teenage Neko, aw, thanx for reviewing again! Hope your week went well :D .To Cayannamon, lol that would be sososo funny and cute! And to kage-youkai girl, thanx a lot! also, to grocamol thanks, hope you keep following this story! and thnx to Xylexia for reviewing as well. wow, it feels like a long time since I've updated, sry bout the wait but here it is!
It seemed that almost everybody was asleep in the Kurosaki household. Well, almost everybody.
Rukia and Hikari were both sleeping, for apparently giving birth and being born were both quite tiring. Orihime had slipped off after congratulating Rukia and cradling Hikari for a few moments before gently giving her back to her mother. Ulquiorra was currently lying face down on his bed, about to drift off to sleep, blissfully deep, orange-haired-idiot-free-sleep, when there came a knock on his closed door.
Not knowing who or what to expect, Ulquiorra muttered "Come in!" but because it was muffled by the fabric and because he was so darn tired, it sounded more like "Cmumimn!"
"Ulqui?" Ichigo questioned as he stepped into Ulquiorra's room. Ulquiorra sighed in his mind, his last and only refuge.
"Before you went to sleep, I just wanted to tell you that your aunts will be staying with us for about a month." Ichigo said quietly, and then slipped out, closing the door behind him. Ulquiorra closed his eyes and sighed into his pillow "Oh."
But then the full meaning of his father's statement hit him.
"Damnit!" and after screaming aloud into his pillow once realizing that Aunt Yuzu and Aunt Karin would be staying with them for a full month, Ulquiorra fell soundly asleep, eventually dreaming of pirate penguins and flying cookies which gave him a ride to his new school.
When Ulquiorra awoke the next morning his stomach began to growl loudly. Turning over, Ulquiorra sat up dazedly, still half-asleep. He blinked several times to clear his blurry vision, yawned, stretched, and then got off his bed and crept out into the hallway.
He snuck downstairs and into the kitchen, trying to be as silently as he was capable of being. Ulquiorra found Aunt Yuzu asleep and drooling over the kitchen table, half sprawled on its surface. Ulquiorra made a mental note to thoroughly disinfect the table before eating off it again.
Making his way over to the fridge, he opened it to find-
"Food." Ulquiorra muttered pitifully, his stomach growling in anticipation. Ulquiorra didn't feel like actually sitting down and eating breakfast (but where was he going to sit down and eat when his Aunt was taking up a good part of the table and drooling over it?). So he grabbed a blueberry muffin, a cup of cream cheese, and a plastic knife and snuck away into the living room with his goods.
Unfortunately, sprawled out on the couch was Aunt Karin who was snoring peacefully. Ulquiorra bit the inside his cheek in annoyance and began heading towards his room. Once he reached the relative safety of his own semi-personal space, he set out to make himself breakfast, aka cutting the bagel in half and spreading cream cheese on both halves.
After slathering cream cheese on the two halves of the bagel, Ulquiorra began to viciously tear at the top half, which was gone in a little over a minute. He then began to attack to bottom half, but halfway through wolfing down his breakfast, he heard crying from downstairs.
Curious, he put down what was left of the bagel and wandered back downstairs. He found the crying was coming from the living room, from a crib pushed against the back wall, a small cartoonish solar system suspended above it.
Ulquiorra peered down into his little sister's crib. He looked back at Aunt Karin who was still sleeping soundly. Ulquiorra tried to shake her awake and called her name, but she continued to snore away contentedly. His first thought was to wake Aunt Yuzu, but she should've been awakened by now by Hikari's cries, and if she hadn't then there was little chance she would wake up soon at all.
Contemplating the thought of waking up his mother or father, he did away with the idea as soon as he looked into the crib. Surely he, with his superior intellect and vast array of knowledge, could take care of his baby sister!
Ulquiorra carefully picked up Hikari with a little effort, and held her, suddenly unsure of what to do. At last until he caught scent of something which suggested what the problem might be. Wrinkling his nose, Ulquiorra found a place to set Hikari down and then proceeded to find a clean diaper for her. He located several in the bag by Aunt Karin, who was still snoring, making Ulquiorra wonder if she could sleep through a hurricane.
After some confusion, a few curses, and some frustration, Ulquiorra finally succeeded in his task. Hikari quieted down and fell asleep again shortly. Ulquiorra picked her up gently, cradling his baby sister in his arms. He looked at her for a few moments, studying her face and her little hands and her tiny fingers.
But after those few moments were up, Ulquiorra placed her back in her crib, leaning over on the tips of his toes. Once he turned around, he wasn't the least bit surprised to see his father standing in the doorway, smiling at him.
Ichigo crossed the space between them, stopping beside Hikari's crib, next to his son. He reached down, softly stroking his daughter's forehead, and turned back to his son.
"You did pretty well." he smirked quietly. Ulquiorra just shrugged, but his father put one hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently. They both withdrew into the kitchen, where Ichigo pulled out a carton of milk, but just as he was about to drink directly from it, Ulquiorra stopped him.
"Get a glass. You have two working arms and hands, don't you?"
"Aw, c'mon Ulqui, I'm your dad. You're not gonna get anything from me." Ichigo whined, but under Ulquiorra's unwavering gaze, he pulled out a cup while muttering complaints and poured the milk into the cup.
"You got up early." Ichigo noted, but after him seeing Ulquiorra's questioning look, he elaborated "It's five in the morning."
"That's not early." Ulquiorra protested, but upon remembering something important, he left the kitchen immediately. Ichigo raised an orange eyebrow at his son's hastily retreating back. He looked into his cup, which was now empty. Glancing furtively at the fridge, he quickly grabbed the milk carton and discarded the cup.
Ulquiorra sat in his room, at his desk, and studied. He first began with mathematics, but just as he was about to go onto the next subject, his door flew open.
Ulquiorra jumped when the door was nearly thrown off its hinges, and he was almost even more shocked when a light brown head stuck itself in the doorway. Two brown eyes sparkled energetically at him, and a smile split the face that had crossed the threshold of his room. Followed by Aunt Yuzu was Aunt Karin, who marched into his room and looked at the papers and text books sprawled over his desk, then frowned at the boy sitting behind all of it.
"What are you doing?" she demanded in such a tone that caught Ulquiorra completely off guard. He was so stunned that he couldn't even speak, lest answer her question.
"Instead of doodling and staying cooped up in this room, you should get outside and get some fresh air." she said, grabbing his arm. Yuzu curiously drifted over to the desk that he had been sitting at and inspected the array of material laid out upon it.
"Wah! These are real textbooks Karin! Oh, how cute, he must've been playing school!" Yuzu exclaimed, clasping her hands together and giggling. Ulquiorra stared at her, almost unable to comprehend how these two females had suddenly barged in and were now insulting his intelligence on the whole.
Karin looked over her sister's shoulder, frowning down at the papers splayed on the surface of the desk.
"Is this one of your father's medical books? You shouldn't be playing with this, Ulquiorra." she chided as she picked up the book. Several bookmarks fell out, and when Karin noticed this, she frowned even more.
"You shouldn't be sticking these little pieces of paper in your father's books. These are grownup books, and they're not for children." Karin scolded, dragging him downstairs. When she saw Ichigo in the kitchen, she went over to him, dragging Ulquiorra with her.
"Why can't you take better care of your things? I found this upstairs in Ulquiorra's room. He was playing with it or something." Karin said as she waved the book in front of her brother's face. Ichigo blinked at it stupidly, his eyes going between his younger sister and his son.
"Oh…er…well…" he tried awkwardly
"Really Ichigo." she sighed, handing him the book "I know you must be busy most of the time, but you should at least be able to spare your son some attention once in a while. I mean, he's always in the dark, dingy room most of the time-no wonder he's so pale!"
The look in Ulquiorra's eye was murderous, something Ichigo didn't think he had ever seen before. It scared him very much.
"Uh…Karin…" Ichigo tried feebly, but to his dismay, Karin ran over what he was going to say with her own words.
"I understand what's going on. As a pediatric nurse, I've seen this kind of thing plenty of times before. Neglected children often do things like this to get attention, because that's what they really crave. I think spending some time with him and getting out of the house would be good for him." Karin explained. Ichigo raised an eyebrow, seriously considering this possibility.
"Um, Karin…." he tried vainly.
"I'll take him shopping with me and Yuzu today. It will be good for him." Karin declared, letting go of her nephew and going back upstairs to Yuzu, but before she left the kitchen, she added "You should also be firm and tell him who's the boss-you shouldn't spoil your children."
When she was upstairs, Ichigo looked down at his son, who was glaring at him with enough intensity to burn a whole through him…sort of like that time Ulquiorra used a Cero Oscuras point-blank before he died…
"Ulquiorra…um…listen…just be nice to your aunts and be cooperative…" Ichigo said slowly and hesitantly.
"That woman," Ulquiorra snarled "Is more thickheaded than five layers of concrete."
"Don't say that about my sister." Ichigo frowned down at him, offended.
"I'll slit my throat and let hollows at my corpse before I go anywhere with her." he growled. Ichigo was almost afraid he meant it, and quickly tried to think of a way to bribe his son.
"Please Ulquiorra…look…" Ichigo quickly looked around, then dropped to his knees and clasped his hands together, assuming a begging position "I'll do anything just as long as you get along with them. I know you hate being treated like a child…but well…"
"Well what?" the seven year old demanded angrily
"You are a child." Ichigo said truthfully, wincing, almost expecting an outburst. It wouldn't be the first time he provoked one from Ulquiorra, even though the last he could remember was from Ulquiorra's past life as an arrancar. Getting hit with that stupid green energy spear hurt like hell. Oh well…at least it's not like Ulquiorra had it now…or did he?
"You're infuriating." Ulquiorra said in a deadly quiet voice, but Ichigo sensed a hint of victory.
"So…will you go with them? Just for today? And then I'll make sure that they don't bother you again…" Ichigo promised, trying not to whine. Whining was unbecoming in a man with two children, especially when one was the former fourth Espada.
"You said you'd do anything." Ulquiorra said quietly. Ichigo looked at him bewildered, and then remembered his previous statement.
"Oh! Uh…well, you probably don't need me to do anything-"
"Actually…there are a few things I could think of." Ulquiorra said, an evil smirk slowly creeping onto his face. Ichigo hoped that didn't become a habit.
"Uh…well, I'm sure…" he started nervously
"On the day Aunt Karin and Yuzu leave, I want you to dress up like a ballerina and tap dance in the front yard for twenty minutes." Ulquiorra said softly. Ichigo's face distorted into an expression of utter shock and horror.
"WHAT THE HELL ULQUIORRA?" he screamed, eyes bulging. Alarmed shouts could be heard upstairs.
"You heard me. You'll wear a tutu. Pink, with tights…a tiara…maybe some fairy wings to go with it…" Ulquiorra said, as if already picturing it "I'll have Ishida-san design it."
Ichigo nearly died when heard those words.
"Why?" he whimpered pitifully.
"Because," Ulquiorra said, smirking again "if I have to suffer, then you must as well."
Ichigo was beginning to wonder just how evil Ulquiorra truly was.
"Ah! Kawaii desu yo!"(Japanese for: So cute!) Yuzu squealed, slapping her cheeks as she admired her nephew as he stepped out of the dressing room. He was wearing a green sailor's outfit, complete with the sailing hat and the funny little shoes, which were black. It was actually pretty cute…except for the smoldering green gaze that appeared as a portal straight into hell.
"Is there anything else you picked out?" Ulquiorra asked, straining not to snarl at her. He quickly regretted that question.
"Oh yeah! I picked out so many cute things!" Yuzu exclaimed happily. To Ulquiorra's horror, she pulled out a pink bunny suit from the mountain of clothing next to her.
"Smile Ulquiorra." Karin told her nephew in a bored voice. Instead he scowled as he turned to her, just in time to get blinded by a flash.
"Does that have to be on flash? There's enough light in here." he complained, but Karin ignored this and instead looked at the picture she had taken.
"Don't complain." she told him "Now try on the next outfit your Aunt picked out for you."
"I thought we were going shopping." Ulquiorra muttered, rejecting the outfit that Yuzu was trying to press upon him.
"We are. We're also going to get you some new things to wear. Your wardrobe is mostly black and green, and I don't know how your parents let it get that way, but it's time for a change. We'll shop for other things after this." Karin responded as she adjusted the camera's settings. They were at the mall, in a clothing store.
"I don't need a change." Ulquiorra gasped, almost being smothered by the bunny suit now.
"Yes you do. Don't argue." Karin told him without even sparing him a glance.
Ulquiorra managed to free himself from the oppression of the bunny suit in a burst of strength. He glared at the fuzzy pink material.
"I don't need something like that." he said venomously, pointing at the suit which Yuzu was holding.
"Don't point, its rude." Karin ordered, earning herself an angry and unbelieving look from her nephew "And don't look like that. It's unbecoming in a child. People will get the wrong idea."
After the twins had forced Ulquiorra to try on article after article of clothing, they left the store with five purchases, one including the sailor outfit. Ulquiorra felt as if he had gone through absolute hell, but little did he know that it was just the beginning.
After going shopping at the clothing store, they dragged Ulquiorra to a shoe store, where they spent at least two hours. In the store, Ulquiorra sat on a footstool and stared down the endless shelves of shoes. Somewhere in the aisle next to the one he was sitting in he could hear Yuzu ecstatically admiring a pair of cute shoes with her sister.
Ulquiorra turned his head towards the source of the noise, and then looked back down the aisle with a tortured expression on his face.
After shoe shopping, the twins dragged him into a store the sold body spray, scented bath items, and scented candles. Ulquiorra couldn't conceal his horror when Yuzu turned on him with a bottle of sakura scented body spray in her hand.
"Look! Doesn't this smell good?" she asked her nephew, ready to spry him. Ulquiorra tried to back up, but bumped into his other aunt who frowned down at him.
"Don't play around in this store." she scolded. Ulquiorra glared at her murderously, which she brushed off. Just as Ulquiorra opened his mouth, armed with a smart retort, he was sprayed by the other twin. He began to cough and gag on the over-powered scent of artificial cherry blossoms while Yuzu giggled happily.
Staggering away, Ulquiorra glared back at his two aunts. He rubbed the remaining spray off his face and reached into his pocket, taking out his iPhone 19. He used it to check his business stats and answer a few messages. Then he wondered why he hadn't just looked on the internet via his cellphone when they were at the shoe store so he could keep himself busy.
Ulquiorra found a place to stand where no one would bother him much and began to check his inbox. But as his stupid luck would have it, Karin saw her nephew looking at something in his hand, his attention absorbed by it. She put down a tube of peach scented lotion and drifted over to where Ulquiorra was.
"Ulquiorra, where did you get that?" she asked, looking over his shoulder. If she didn't know better it was the iPhone 19, the newest model which had been previewed only a month ago. The iPhone 18 had just barely come out, and was the most advanced and expensive phone on the market.
"I bought it." he said truthfully. When you ran your own world-famous manga series it wasn't too hard to get things which generally weren't available to the public.
"Don't lie-"
"I'm not lying. Ask my father if you doubt my claims so much." he said icily, glancing up from the screen to glare at her. Karin felt flustered for a moment, having never been talked back to by a child like that before. It was sort of like having a cute hamster snarl at you.
"Don't talk back to me like-"
"I was merely making a suggestion." he said coolly, cutting her off, and then added "And by the way, I paid for this phone and I pay the bills too, making it completely mine. So don't even think about 'taking it away'."
Karin was about to open her mouth furiously, but Ulquiorra was on a roll now.
"You know, I found out something interesting about you. Apparently you were fired from your last job because you slapped your boss whom you had been dating, just because he broke up with you."
Karin reeled back in absolute shock, agape. How did he know that?
"Also, you've been out of work for nearly six months now and have failed to find a job, yet you haven't told my father." Ulquiorra said, smirking. He didn't have to even glance at her to know he had her cornered. Ah, how handy your own private source of information about just about anyone could be.
"So, why don't we make a deal? I won't tell my father that you're out of work, and you won't treat me like your slave/ a badly misbehaved child." he lifted his gaze to her casually. She nodded, looking almost frightened. Ulquiorra smiled at her.
"Good. Maybe we'll get along better from this point on." he said as he slipped his iPhone into his pocket and wandered over to Yuzu who was making her purchase.
'What kind of child are you raising Nii-san?' Karin wondered, thinking about how scary and adult-like her nephew had suddenly become.
"Ah…" Yuzu, Karin, and Ulquiorra were standing at the bus stop that was a short walk away from the mall. Ulquiorra's incredibly intelligent aunts had forgotten to check the bus schedule, and they would be stuck there for another two hours, since it was too far away to walk to the Kurosaki clinic.
"I guess we just have to wait." Yuzu said meekly. Ulquiorra rolled his emerald green eyes, and sighed. Karin looked at him, frowning, but held her tongue.
"You know, if you keep frowning like that you'll get wrinkles." Ulquiorra said blandly. Karin glared at him, and he felt the need to elaborate for some odd reason, which was somewhat unlike him.
"You're a human." he added.
"Well what else would I be?" Karin sneered, losing her temper.
"…Well considering the fact that you're a human and not a shinigami like your brother, you'll keep on aging until you die. So therefore it would be sensible to frown less due to the fact that in time when you begin to age more it will leave wrinkles." Ulquiorra explained patiently, as if saying something to a young child, which was rather ironic if you thought about the whole situation.
Karin blinked at him, surprised.
"You…you know you're a shinigami?" she asked hesitantly
"Yes." he responded
"…Oh…" Karin suddenly remembered something her brother had told her soon after Ulquiorra had been born. Something about the arrancar…something that might've been bad…but Karin couldn't recall it. She hesitated, glancing at her nephew, and then made up her mind.
"Ulquiorra, do you know what an arrancar is?" she asked, earning a gasp from her sister.
"Yes." he replied
"But how? Did your dad tell you?" Yuzu questioned
"No. I would know because in my last life I was an arrancar." he answered without thinking. Karin suddenly put two and two together in her mind.
"Wait…you…Ulquiorra…you were Ulquiorra Schiffer, the fourth Espada!" Yuzu said fearfully, beating her sister to saying the exact same thing. This time Ulquiorra couldn't help himself.
"Obliviously. Tch."
"But how do you know…?" Karin asked, suddenly fearing the child in front of her.
"Because I gained my memories back at a certain age. And I have retained all my memories and the information gathered in my past life." he told them. The translation of that was: Since I was like a bajillion years old I'm way smarter that you two and Einstein put together.
"Wait, so…" Karin trailed off, slowly realizing what that meant. She had basically been pissing off the former Cuatro Espada all morning and afternoon long.
"…" there was suddenly a nervous silence when both women came to realize that Ulquiorra was the equivalent of an adult mind in a child's body. The air became tense and frightful, and some ominous background music might've started playing out of hidden speakers at any given moment. At least until Yuzu's stomach started growling like a pit bull.
Blood rushed to Yuzu's face and she opened her mouth and shut it several times, completely embarrassed. Karin looked at her flatly, giving her sort of 'are you serious' look. Ulquiorra raised his black eyebrows, as if he hadn't been expecting that. Well, really, he hadn't.
"I guess you're hungry. Both of you." Ulquiorra said, just as Karin's stomach growled even louder that her sister's, nearly drowning out the last bit of her nephew's sentence. He smirked, whipped out his iPhone 19, and made a call. A lot like a professional businessman, only a lot more adorable since he was a kid…hehe…how cute.
"Ah…yes…yes, we're at…oh, right. In less than five? Good." Ulquiorra hit the End Call button and slipped the sleek, black cellphone into one of his pockets. In a way, it was like him, dark, slim, expensive, and desirable. (AN: who wouldn't want to desire Ulquiorra?)
"Who were you calling?" Yuzu asked curiously. Ulquiorra almost smirked.
"You'll see." he merely said, leaving both women to ponder over who it could be. Yuzu turned to Karin.
"Maybe he called Nii-san." she suggested, but within two minutes a sleek black limousine stopped in front of them. Karin raised her eyebrows and Yuzu's mouth dropped open.
"Kurosaki-sama." the driver stepped out and bowed to Ulquiorra, who nodded in acknowledgement. The driver then opened one of the passenger doors and held it open.
Ulquiorra got in, glancing back at the two stunned females "Coming?"
Karin was the first one to get herself together. She tugged at her sister's sleeve and pulled her along and into the limo. The chauffer closed the door behind them once they were in and got back into the driver's seat.
"Where to, Kurosaki-sama?" the driver questioned. Ulquiorra seemed to think this over for a few moments before answering "The Point."
As the chauffer pulled away from the curb, Yuzu nearly squealed.
"You're taking us to The Point? You're taking us to The Point?" she was nearly bouncing in her seat. The Point was the most upscale restaurant in all of Karakura, and well known for it. Only the best dined there, which meant you had to have not just some serious cash, but a name too.
"Yes, I am." Ulquiorra affirmed. Yuzu actually squealed in delight this time, but Karin just sat there and frowned.
"Okay, I don't see how you're gonna get us-"
"Do you know of the manga Tide? As well as other mangas by the author who uses the penname 'El Que Llorra'?"
"Um, yeah. He's written some of the most popular mangas since One Piece and Naruto. Why? Do you know him?"
"Well I would expect so since I am him."
"…Oh…my…freaking…GAWD." Yuzu breathed, staring at him in amazement while her sister just gaped in complete astonishment.
"You…are…" she said weakly. Ulquiorra just shrugged. When you had a certain talent for drawing and a good storyline as well as an idea of what the current otaku was like, it wasn't that hard. Though being a genius sort of helped too.
When they arrived, Ulquiorra was being persuaded, albeit unsuccessfully, by Karin to make a change in the next manga chapter he was releasing in Tide.
"Seriously, Yin should betray Hua! I mean, everyone hates Hua!" Karin insisted. She seemed to have discarded her previous attitude towards Ulquiorra, but was now being the otaku she secretly was.
"He came in twenty-third on the last popularity poll. And I was already going to have Yin do that. I haven't decided whether Hua should die or not." Ulquiorra mused.
"He should!" Yuzu exclaimed as the vehicle came to a stop right in front of The Point. The Point didn't get its name for nothing. It was on a small peninsula, surrounded by water on all three sides except the front. It was nearly three stories tall, and offered and incredible view of the ocean. When Ulquiorra had a writer's block, he usually came here for lunch and would look out over the ocean and the frothing waves. It often inspired him.
The three passengers were let out by the chauffer, who Ulquiorra tipped generously before he drove off. He led them into the restaurant, where they were stopped at the front door.
"I.D.?" a burly looking guy in a black suit asked roughly. Ulquiorra showed him a card, not the least bit intimidated by an adult who towered over him at a height of 6'6 and probably outweighed him by over a hundred pounds.
"Oh, Kurosaki-san, excuse me. Are these two ladies with you?" after a nod from Ulquiorra, he held open a heavy looking glass door that led further into the restaurant. Karin and Yuzu tried hard not to gape at everything, including the few people who were there. It was only a little after lunch, and not very busy.
"So where do you want to sit? There's a second and third story." Ulquiorra said as his aunts followed him. But before they could answer, a call from a nearby table got his attention.
"Ulqui-chan!" Ulquiorra sighed and turned to face the person who had called him by that ridiculous name.
"Hello Izunari." he said as he faced a fairly handsome man who was sitting leisurely at a table close to them with a few young women around him, all of them very beautiful.
"So I see ya snagged yourself some bunnies." he noted with a grin. Ulquiorra just gave him a flat, un-amused look.
"They're my aunts." he replied dryly, causing the man to blink, and then grin "Oh oops, my bad. But that's cool dude. Hey ladies." the man winked at Karin and Yuzu, causing them to nearly faint. Ulquiorra on the other hand was just plain irritated.
"Let's go." he said, leading them towards the elevator.
Five minutes later, Ulquiorra and his two relatives were seated at a table overlooking the ocean. The sun was reflecting off the small waves, making it seem as if the water were sparkling. Coupled with the seabirds calling out with hoarse cries as the soared low over the waters, it was quite beautiful and calming. When the waiter came to take their order, Karin and Yuzu glanced questioningly at their nephew.
"Order whatever you want. I'm just getting a salad and some soda or something." he said dismissively. The waiter jotted this down as if his life depended on it while the twins tried not to drool on the menu.
"Let's see…I'll start with a basket of these fry things, and then I'll have a Sakura Roll, and then…" together, the twins ordered a large amount of food. When finished, the waiter nodded and went away, leaving the trio alone. The second floor was completely deserted except for the three of them.
"So…what's this I hear about a girl you're interested in?" Yuzu questioned casually, causing Ulquiorra's eyes to widen slightly in surprise.
"What?" he quickly feigned surprised, trying to act innocent and look as if he didn't have a clue what she was talking about.
"Don't just say 'what', tell us about her? Is she cute? Is she pretty? Is she nice?" Karin smirked, somehow seeing through Ulquiorra. No matter who it was, she was always an expert when it came down to questioning males about their romantic interests.
"What are you talking about? Why would you even want to know?"
"You don't have to keep it a secret, we-"
"Know you're still thinking about her, it's-"
"Plain as day, you-"
"Can't hide it from us, because-"
"We can tell, without-"
"Even-"
"Having-"
"Known-"
"Previously-"
"About you-"
"And her, and-"
"Oh my freaking Chiroptera, stop talking in turn!" Ulquiorra nearly screamed, losing his cool. Hearing Yuzu and Karin speak in turn was enough to drive anyone insane.
"Just tell us about this girl." Karin said simply, or more like, demanded.
"What do you want me to say? Her name is Kendai Aizen-"
"Aizen?"
"Like…Sosuke Aizen…that guy who-"
"Was waging a war against Soul Society and planning to kill the king of Soul Society? That crazy evil guy who-"
"Used to be your boss?" the twins looked at each other and then at Ulquiorra. Karin rose her eyebrows at him "I didn't know you had an interest in sadistic, twisted girls, Ulquiorra."
"First off, Kendai is not 'sadistic' or 'twisted' and she is nothing like her father! She's incredibly kind, caring, brave, and protective of her comrades, and she's a better woman that any other I have ever known or heard of! The only thing scary about her is her battle skill because she's just as or more powerful than her father who is more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" Ulquiorra snapped harshly.
Seconds passed in silence, and then the two women began to laugh. Ulquiorra glared at them "What?"
"Wow Ulqui-chan…" Yuzu giggled
"You really love her, don't you?" Karin laughed, almost breathless from the fit of laughter that had taken hold of both her and her sister momentarily.
"Well of course…" Ulquiorra trailed off, looking down at his hands. He was mildly shocked to hear those words pass from his lips. He couldn't believe how easily he could say that, when he had once scoffed at the very idea of feelings and emotions, of hearts and love and joy and friendship…of…
"Hey Ulquiorra." I turned to face the person who had said my name, that familiar voice which had spoken it aloud. I bowed instinctively, without even thinking, an automatic response.
"Kendai-sama." I said quietly, but all I heard was "Tch." followed by "You don't have to bow and say 'Kendai-sama'. Just 'Kendai' would be fine. You don't have to use any honorifics with me."
I straightened up and looked down at her. Yes, I looked down at her, since I was 5'6 1/2 and she was only 4'9.
"Though it wouldn't be so bad if you stooped a little." she said teasingly, looking up at me. I couldn't resist rolling my eyes.
"I can't help the fact that you're short." I nearly came to regret those words as she growled at me, but refrained from kicking my leg with enough strength to break through my hierro.
"I'm only slightly vertically challenged." she snapped. She was always a bit touchy about her height, and whenever she said 'slightly vertically challenged', Grimmjow would usually respond with 'that's just a fancy term for midget'. Her response to this was not always pleasant for the Sexta Espada.
"…Right." I settled with that simple response, and turned back to the white landscape. The balcony we were on over looked a good stretch of the moonlit, white desert of Hueco Mundo. It was blank and white, plain and featureless save for the few crystallized trees and dead shrubs here and there. It was much like we, the hollows who inhabited this place. Harsh, unforgiving, emotionless and rational. But almost as if reading my thoughts, Kendai came to my side and spoke.
"You know, everyone here complains about the white, but white also represents purity and innocence." Kendai pointed out. I looked down at her, my eyelids lowering slightly as my lips tugged further down into a disapproving frown.
"A complete contrast to us. How ironic." I said sarcastically. Kendai looked at me, tilting her head almost curiously.
"Not really. I mean, white represents a lot of other things too. Like change. And isn't that what my father's trying to do? Bring change into the world?"
"I suppose so."
"…Meep." suddenly I was on the ground, staring up at the dark gray sky. I blinked, realizing in a matter of seconds that Kendai had turned me over so she could-
"May I ask you why are you examining my ankles?" I asked dryly. Kendai looked at one side of my right ankle, and then the other side.
"I don't know. I was only curious…hehe…you've got such cute feet. Cute feet…like…Ulqui-chan feet…hehe…" she let go of my ankle and decisively sat on top of me. Only eighty six pounds of shinigami. Only containing enough force to, with a single kick, snap my spine and kill me instantly.
"My feet are larger than yours." I pointed out, but she nodded "I know. But they're still cute."
I almost sighed, looking past her and up at the gray sky. Even though with a single, perhaps strong and well placed kick, she could snap my spine and kill me instantly, a Vasto Lorde, she wouldn't. Kendai simply wasn't like that. She wasn't violent, and cruel like a hollow. She wasn't manipulative and didn't seem the best at survival. It seemed as if she didn't belong here.
But it was times like these when I remembered certain instances. Times, only moments, brief passages in the continuous flow of time when I had glimpsed her power, similar to her father's. Well, not the hypnosis, but the incredible skill and vast amount of reiatsu as well as frightening intellect. That, and on top of it all, she had one power which was as close to fiction as you could get, yet it was real, and was in her, it was-
"By the way, I probably couldn't kill you with a single kick. I don't think I could even do that to a regular hollow." she lied to me. She never seemed to take pride in her skills, like some of the Espada, or fellow shinigami. But there was one skill which she did posses, one which very few people aside from myself knew about.
Kendai could read minds, and I was almost certain, manipulate people's thoughts. So there you have it. A shinigami of 4'9 weighing in at eighty-six pounds with more than twice the average captains reiatsu and enough strength to snap a Vasto Lorde's back with one kick and kill it, as well as the ability to read and control minds. Scary right?
I looked into her large, bright green eyes which seemed full of life and energy. I felt my previous frown decrease a bit. Scary right? No, not even close.
"Ulquiorra?" a voice brought him back out of the memory. He looked up from his hands resting on the white silken table cloth, to his aunts. The ones who were with him in the present.
"Hey, are you-oh, the food's coming!" Yuzu's tone changed from worried to excited in a moment. She half rose in her chair in anticipation of the food that the waiter was carrying. Once set down on the table, Yuzu and Karin began to dig in with gusto, making Ulquiorra wonder when was the last time they ate.
He looked down at his own tossed salad and the water next to it, half wishing that he had ordered something with some actual flavor and texture to it. But on the other hand, the sudden memory made his appetite, if any, subside some. He slowly ate his salad and sipped his water, wishing that his order hadn't seemed so…so…bland. But on the other hand, he didn't think he could stomach something more solid at the moment.
Ulquiorra gazed over the waves and felt more peaceful. Whenever he looked at the ocean, it calmed him and made him feel slightly better than before. Though, he didn't gaze at the ocean for long because a light tap on the back of his hand drew his attention away from it.
He looked at Karin who was offering him some fries "Want some? They're pretty good."
Ulquiorra hesitated, and then decisively plucked a handful of fries and dumped them on his plate, and began digging in. Eventually the conversation was struck up again, and it took a while for Ulquiorra to realize it, but here, in the present, with his two aunts, he was actually enjoying himself.
One month later at the Kurosaki residence…
Rukia helped Karin put her last bag into the car and hugged her. Karin smiled at her brother's wife, feeling a small prick of envy when she noted that within two weeks after having her second child, Rukia was in great shape just like before. Lucky shinigami.
Yuzu hugged Rukia as well, but also looked around for her older brother.
"Where's Ichi-nii?" she wondered aloud. The answer came in the form of Ulquiorra, who came up to them with a very stern and stoic look. But somehow, somewhere, you could just see tiny hints of evil gleaming in his emerald eyes.
"He'll be out shortly." Ulquiorra said quietly, confusing all three females.
"Ulquiorra! Do I have to do this?" Ichigo's voice came from somewhere inside the house. "Yes!" Ulquiorra called back, and then smirked in satisfaction as his father slunk out of the house. Rukia, Karin, and Yuzu stared at the orange haired man for but a mere few seconds and then burst out laughing.
Ichigo was wearing light pink tights, a hot pink leotard, and a sparkly pink tutu with it. He had small pink tinted fairy wings strapped to his back, pink and purple face paint that looked as if it had been done by Rukia, and fuzzy pink and white bunny ears on his head, all top match the pink ballet slippers which were on his feet. Ichigo looked absolutely miserable.
Ulquiorra casually took out his iPhone and started snapping pictures, much to Ichigo's dismay.
"Start tap dancing. Now. You've got ten minutes, and then you can do the Macarena for the next ten minutes."
"What? I thought it was only tap dancing!" Ichigo protested, making the women laugh even harder.
"I changed my mind. Now go, I'm timing you." and on cue some cheesy music started and Ichigo had no choice but to tap dance to it. Karin was doubled over laughing madly, Yuzu was on the ground, her eyes streaming, and Rukia was leaning against the car, unable to stop laughing every time she looked at her husband. Hell, even the taxi driver was laughing his ass off.
This only made things worse for Ichigo, whose face turned the color of his namesake after two minutes.
Once twenty minutes had passed, twenty very degrading minutes for Ichigo, Karin and Yuzu staggered over to their elder brother, hugged him while laughing and trying to say their goodbyes before stumbling over to the taxi and still giggling while the taxi drove them away.
Ichigo stared after the vehicle for a while before going inside and muttering about his pride and dignity gone down the drain. Rukia walked back to the front door, still giggling, and patted Ulquiorra's head on the way.
"That was pretty good." she told him, wiping her eyes. Ulquiorra smiled at her, following her inside. It was good to have a bit of humor in their lives, considering that almost all of the very little time they spent together or enjoying themselves was absolute chaos and disorder. But sometimes it was absolute chaos and disorder in…sort of a good way.
Hours later, Ulquiorra was in his room, planning the next manga chapter for Tide when someone knocked on his door. He was mildly surprised. Most of the time his door was busted down or nearly ripped off its hinges by a forceful entry.
"Come in." Ichigo poked his head in through the door which he opened slightly, peering at what Ulquiorra had on his desk. Ulquiorra had first started out with a desk that his father used to use when studying but no longer used it. Once he had gained enough attention and money from his manga, he auctioned the desk off as the one that 'El Que Llorra' used to write the original chapters of all his mangas on. It was sold to a Russian otaku girl and her brother at a hefty price, shipping and handling paid. Ulquiorra used the money he had gotten from that transaction to buy the best desk he could find, something that suited him.
In the end, Ulquiorra settled for a plain but fairly expensive desk which slightly resembled a drafting table. He put the leftover money in his bank account and had his desk moved into the house with little trouble, thanks to forcing his father to not only bring it up to his room, but assemble it as well.
"What is it?" he asked, turning away from his drawings to his father. Ichigo was momentarily distracted by Ulquiorra's work and nearly forgot why he came in.
"Huh? Wha-Oh right! Here, this just came for you in the mail." Ichigo held out a thick envelope.
"…" Ulquiorra gave him a sort of 'well-why-don't you-bring-it-here-so-I-don't-have-to-get-up-and-get-it' look.
"It's your test results from the entrance exam." Ichigo said, referring to the college entrance exam that Ulquiorra had taken before Karin and Yuzu left.
Before Ichigo even knew it, Ulquiorra was up and out of his chair, so fast that Ichigo wondered if he had just used shunpo in his gigai.
"It's mine! Give it!" he nearly screamed, scaring his father. Ichigo handed it to him hesitantly.
Hands shaking, Ulquiorra snatched it out of his father's grasp and tore it open. Anxiety and pent up emotions were bubbling inside of him, ready to spill over at the slightest provocation. He pulled out the pieces of paper inside and scanned over them with baited breath. He got to the bottom of the first page, where there was an extra note.
'Dear Kurosaki-san, it has come to our attention that you have flawlessly passed the exams you were given, earning a perfect score on all. We would like to congratulate you for this outstanding achievement which has not occurred for several decades since our institute's founding. This has also come to the attention of several major companies, all who would like nothing more than to support this outstanding young genius in the form of several major scholarships and financial aid.- signed Arika Shitotsu, headmaster'
Ulquiorra flipped to the second piece of paper which held his test results. They were flawless, perfect, just as the note had said them to be.
Ichigo read this over his son's shoulder, his disbelief growing with each passing second.
"I can't believe it. You got a better score than I did when I took the exam…even Ishida didn't do as well as this…" Ichigo nearly whimpered, skeptical. Ulquiorra stared at it for a moment and then he said politely "Will you please give me a moment?"
Ichigo left the room, and as soon as he shut the door heard "YEAH! I'M GOING TO COLLEGE FOR FREE!"
Ulquiorra came back out in a minute, looking just as he usually did, impassive and stoic.
"I guess we should go shopping for supplies soon."
AN: