The Lives We Lead
Chapter XI
A/N: Hello again awesome people :D How are we all? Are we ready for another chapter? I hope so coz here it is, all ready for you to read.
P.S. Fank you for the lovely reviews… I'm still bloody smiling lol. I must admit though, my cheeks are gettin' a little sore BUT that isn't me complaining… by all means, keep it up :P
Special thanks to Turtle for all your patience :)
*whispers* you guys are awesome…
.
Is she really going out with him?
Well, there she is, let's ask her
Betty, is that Jimmy's ring you're wearing? Mmmhmm
Gee, it must be great riding with him
Is he picking you up after school today? Mmmhmm
By the way, where'd you meet him?
.
(What the fuck is this shit?)
I was sitting out on the main floor at the back of the room on break, enjoying a rather lovely coffee made by Jessie. That said coffee almost went all over me and the back of the person sitting in front of me because I almost sprayed the cunt out. Who the fuck chose this fucking…
(Oh)
Well, that makes sense. Veronica aka Theresa had skipped out onto the stage with the curtains opening revealing a motorcycle. Don't ask where she got the bike from because I have no fucking idea… Actually it might Vinnie's, one of the clubs security guards. Yeah, it looks like his. It was black and all chromed out. It was a nice piece of machinery that bike… On the left side of the stage there was one of those old 50's jukeboxes and to the back and right there were a total of 3 old school diner booths. I have to give the set an A+ but this song… fuck me. People are going to walk out. Theresa was dancing slowly to the song around the bike before she swung her leg over it and sat down.
.
I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture? Yes, we see
That's when I fell for the leader of the pack…
.
When the bikes revved in the song, Theresa had turned the key and revved Vinnie's bike in exactly the same timing. My fucking God was that thing loud. As you would expect, the blokes were all excited about it. I didn't know what to think. Were they excited over Theresa or the fucking bike? Who knows…?
She was wearing a black leather jacket, no bra which was quite noticeable but her breasts were covered by the jacket. She was also wearing black 9inch heels and those stockings that go up just past the knee. Oh and a g string. Can't forget that… Theresa looked hot and the set was fucking awesome but seriously who the fuck picked this song? It's fucked. You can't strip to this shit, Jesus Christ…
.
My folks were always putting him down
(Down, down)
They said, he came from the wrong side of town
They told me, he was bad, but I knew he was sad
That's why I fell for the leader of the pack…
.
(HAHAHAHA)
Theresa turned around and stuck her arse out towards the crowd. The way she did it was sexy but absolutely hilarious at the same time. It was quite unexpected. She quickly spun back to face the crowd and put her hand up to her mouth as if she was gasping in shock due to her naughty behaviour. The song stopped playing with me thinking "Oh oh, sound systems fucked." and at first I thought Theresa was panicking because she was looking around everywhere but then the sound of drums came through the speakers. Immediately, she looked at the crowd confidently with a huge fucking smirk on her face and ripped her leather jacket off, swinging it in the air and then throwing it into the sea of men and a handful of women. Two other girls came out from the side of the stage and removed their jackets also. They roared and cheered when the three girls strut towards the poles in nothing on except their stockings, g's and heels and swung themselves around it in time with the music. Theresa most definitely went from a "What the fuck?" moment to the crowd whistling and clapping along with the song... The way the songs were arranged and how Theresa performed made me think of Emily. I'd back it in that Theresa asked for advice off of Ems. There was no doubt in my mind.
(Very clever)
.
I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin' strong
Playin' my favourite song
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me
And I could tell it wouldn't be long
Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'
.
The club erupted as they all started singing along.
.
I love rock n' roll
So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll
So come and take your time and dance with me…
.
She walked her way down the little set of stairs on the side of the stage and started to interact with the customers, giving them little lap dances as she went around the room. It was quite good actually. I was surprised especially with that fucking song at the start. I was thinking "Oh no, she was a one hit wonder. FUCK." but the show as a whole, it fit well. She wanted people to laugh when she came out. She wanted people to think "what the fuck is going on?" and she succeeded… It turned out to be quite a nice surprise.
"Naoms, Emily wants ya." Angel whispered into my ear.
I turned and frowned at Angel with her shrugging. I got up from where I was sitting a little on the confused side. Emily had never asked for me or even spoken to me at work unless it was work related and it was always me approaching and doing the talking, never her.
"Where is she?" I asked.
"She's waitin' by your office."
I walked quickly, concerned. I know I was jumping to conclusions in thinking something was wrong but this was highly unusual. I saw Emily leaning against the wall by the door with her arms folded across her chest.
"Hey." I said as I used my key to open the office door. "What's up?"
I held the door open as she walked in, closing it behind me before I walked over to my side of the desk. Emily stayed standing.
"I need to take a few days off." She said. It was only because I knew Emily so well that I could tell she was agitated about something even though she was hiding it extremely well. Had I not been paying attention, I would not have noticed. I raised my hand and motioned it towards the chair.
"Have a seat."
She stared at me for a long moment. She didn't seem to want to sit but she changed her mind and lowered herself into the chair.
"Everything okay?" I asked.
"Yes."
I leaned back in my chair and studied her face.
"What's wrong?"
"Noth…"
"And don't lie to me." I said cutting her off.
There was silence. We just sat there staring at each other. Me waiting for her to speak, her not wanting to.
"Well?" I said, raising my eyebrow.
"Well what?"
I rolled my eyes.
"Why do you need a few days off? What's wrong?"
"My personal life is none of your business Naomi. I don't have to tell you why I am in need of time off. All you need to know is that I won't be here so you won't be short staffed."
"True." I said nodding. "However, you are residing at my address, you are employed as one of my staff in this club and your wardrobe consists of clothes from my shop so in a way, I'm already involved in your 'personal' life." I replied.
Emily scoffed.
"Why won't you talk to me?" I asked sincerely, dropping the attitude.
"Are you going to authorise me leave or not Naomi?"
"Something tells me if I don't you'll still be absent from work, won't you?"
"Yes." Was all she replied.
I sighed heavily. I really was getting nowhere with her. Okay, fine she didn't love me anymore or so she said but she won't even let me be a friend.
"Okay Emily." I said giving up. "Here."
I pushed a notepad and pen towards her.
"Write down the dates so I know when you'll be back… you want to dip into your sick leave or have the days unpaid?" I asked giving her the option.
"Unpaid. I might need the sick days for when I'm actually sick." She replied with a smart arse tone.
"I'm only trying to help you Emily. What the fuck is your problem?"
She pushed the notepad back towards me with the dates written down.
"I need to get back to work." She stated.
"Emily wait…"
She stopped and turned back around to face me. I don't even know why I asked her to wait. Whatever I had wanted to say completely slipped my mind. It was gone.
"Nothing, you can go." I sighed.
I turned to my computer and reached over and grabbed the notepad, putting the information into the little program I had set up that helped me keep up to date with the girls expecting Emily to have walked out.
"Naomi…"
I turned to face her.
"You should be careful with who you place your trust in."
I frowned not knowing what or who she meant.
"Huh?"
She looked me straight in the eye.
"Just be careful." She said before she walked out of my office, closing the door behind her.
(What the fuck does that mean?)
I got up and followed her. You can't say shit like that and then just walk off without explaining further.
"Ems… Emily…" I called out. She kept walking so I jogged up to her before she went back out in view of the public.
"Stop… please." I said taking her arm gently and tugging on it.
"Who shouldn't I be trusting?"
I knew she was thinking of someone in particular by the look in her eye but she did not want to tell me for whatever reason.
"I don't know Naomi. I just meant that deep down, you're a good person. People take advantage of that so you need to be careful." She quickly replied. I knew it was bullshit what she said. I knew she knew something that I didn't. She just didn't want to be a snitch.
"Emily, if you know something…"
"I don't know anything… I really need to get back to work. Jessie is on her own. It's busy." She replied.
I let go of her arm, sighing.
"Yeah, okay."
Emily gave me a small smile and walked away. I didn't know what to believe. Was she being serious or was she just being all cryptic to fuck with my head more than she already had?
"DAVID." I yelled out over the music as I saw him walk by, waving him over. He turned and smiled brightly as he headed towards me.
"What can I do for ya boss?"
"Follow me." I said turning and walking back towards my office. I didn't want anyone to hear what I had to say.
"David, if anything funny was going on in here… would you tell me?"
"I reckon so but what ya mean funny?" he replied frowning seriously.
I sighed.
"I don't know exactly mate but anything that's out of place, ya know? Drugs um, the girls taking customers into the back room… Shit like that."
"I haven't seen anything like that boss. You want me to keep an eye out?" He asked.
"Yeah if you could…" I paused for a moment. "What have you seen?"
His last answer made me think he had seen something but not what I had mentioned.
He didn't say anything.
"David if you know something… I need you to tell me mate."
He nodded his head slowly.
"Miss Emily… she's been sneakin' off every now and then to the alley out the back."
I already knew Ems was doing that. I had seen with my own eyes.
"She's always talkin' to the same bloke. He's there waitin' for her. He looks like the guy from the motel."
I didn't say anything.
"He's been in 'ere a few times too. He sticks to himself. He sits right at the back on his own."
"Okay." I said with my mind racing with a 101 different thoughts. "Anything else?" I asked.
"Yeah." David replied. "I dunno who this bloke is now but I do know he WAS in the SAS."
"Special Air Service?" I asked shocked. "How the fuck do you know that David?"
David pointed to the inside of his forearm.
"He has a tat here… I recognised it from a photo of my old man. He had the same one, the sword with the wings."
(FUCK ME)
"He ain't a good ol' boy anymore though. There's something about him I don't like."
"What do you mean?" I asked quickly.
"Forgive me for sayin' this boss but when I put the motel thing and what I've seen together… I would say he has Miss Emily doin' things she don't really wanna do. I think he's makin' her…"
"Go on… It's okay David. You can speak freely." I said when he hesitated.
"I think he's makin' her sleep with people for money."
"But I thought you said you only ever saw her with him?"
"And I wasn't lyin' to ya boss but I think it's bigger than just a street corner hooker. I think he has connections. Wealthy customers wantin' a girlfriend for the night. She goes to them."
"You mean like an escort?"
That makes sense. The prick gave Emily a piece of paper with an address when I saw her arguing with him.
"Yeah, exactly like that except these bastards pay way more money. She's young, she's a good lookin' girl and she's clean if you know what I mean? Not easy to find in that sort of business Boss. They take her out with 'em to parties and that kinda shit. She scrubs up well and you'd never know she was a…"
"Hooker." I interrupted.
He nodded.
"Like I said, hard to find."
We both stayed silent for a long moment.
"David, how do you know all this?" I asked him suspiciously.
"Babes, no one pays attention to the homeless man. I've heard and I've seen a lot of things in my life time. I'm invisible." He replied.
I nodded understandingly.
"Peaches… I think she's been usin'." David said, changing the subject.
Can this shit get any worse?
"What makes you say that?"
"I caught her noddin' in the bathroom. I didn't see any drugs but her pupils were fuckin' tiny. She couldn't even talk. She kept tellin' me she was tired."
"David, I need you to come to me with these sorts of things yeah? I can't have this happening in my club. We'll get shut down."
He nodded.
"Well, that's all I know hun…"
"Thanks David."
"Not a problem, sunshine." He responded before turning towards the doorway.
"Wait…"
He stopped and turned to face me.
"How would you feel if I asked you to be my eyes and ears out there?" I said tilting my head towards the main floor of the club.
He smiled warmly.
"Anything for you Blondie."
I went home that night with thoughts of Emily invading my mind. I still couldn't believe that this is how life had turned out for her. She was so fucking smart at school. It was the reason I pushed her into making sure she finished. She could have been anything she put her mind to but I left her didn't I? I wasn't there to 'crack the whip' and make sure she kept her head down and studied. My worst fear was her becoming like me back then. The bad girl image might have been cool back at school. A rebel was what was attractive to most girls even if it was just a phase they were going through. The rebel almost always ends up the bum in adulthood. They don't go anywhere except either under the ground prematurely or jail. I was one of the lucky ones though. I straightened my life out and yeah maybe a strip club isn't the most respectable job or maybe even something to be proud of. I don't know but what I do know is that I own a business, I own a house. I'm making a wage legally. 5-6 years ago, I would never have thought it possible. I was dying slowly. I was killing myself with all the intoxicants I was ingesting. A life without Emily at the time wasn't a life at all. I wanted to die. I wished every time I got high that I would fall asleep and never wake up. I was too much of a coward to just slit my wrists or inject a shit load of gear into my veins. I didn't have the balls to do it that way so instead, I did it slowly. Little by little each and every day I was one step closer to my grave… It should have been me selling myself. Not fucking Emily. She was pure, innocent and that's why I had to make her mine. She was different to everyone else. She was genuine. She hadn't been corrupted by anyone. I wanted that. I wanted her. I loved her and I wanted to protect her and I failed. I failed miserably. I know it's all in the past. I know I can't change a God damn thing no matter how hard I wish I could but I blame myself for everything. Whatever Emily has been through in these last 6 years, I fucking blame myself because I wasn't there. I'm responsible for everything that has happened to her…
"Peaches?"
"You're home early." Lia announced.
Peaches was sitting at the counter in my house, sipping a coffee.
"Eh, what are you doing here?" I asked questioningly, looking from her to Lia and back again.
She stood up and took a step in my direction.
"I tried calling the office but no one answered. I needed to speak to you." She replied.
"Um, okay." I said, putting my things down at the kitchen table.
Peaches had never been to my house before. None of the girls had except for obviously Emily and Angel. I didn't like mixing work with my private life.
"Something's popped up and I won't be able to come into work. I need to leave tonight." She said. "That's why I'm here. I couldn't wait to call you tomorrow. I was going to just pass on the message to Lia but she invited me in for a coffee."
"Everything okay?" I asked suspiciously. That's two of my workers asking for time off in the same day. It must be a new trend.
"My aunt passed away. I have to go down to Hastings for the funeral." She said sadly.
(Nice one Naomi.)
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Um, of course… take all the time you need." I replied.
"I asked if Theresa could fill in for me, she said she was fine with it. I hope that's okay?"
"Yeah 'course." I responded.
Peaches grabbed her coat off of the back of the stool and collected her bag.
"Thank you for the coffee Lia."
Lia smiled warmly back at her and nodded once.
"I should get going. I don't fancy missing the train."
"Do you need a lift to the station?" I asked.
"Oh no, that's alright Naomi. The station isn't that far plus the walk will do me good." She replied.
"Okay…"
Peaches walked up to me with me turning and walking towards the door and opening it for her.
"My condolences Peaches, to you and your family." I said.
"Thank you Naomi… I'll be in touch later in the week."
I nodded and closed the door as she walked down the driveway and onto the street. Lia had walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
"How was your day?" She whispered, kissing my neck.
I turned around slowly and pecked her lips.
"It was okay…"
She leaned forward and awarded me with a searing kiss.
"I've been thinking about you since you left for work this morning." She confessed before kissing me again.
"I would hope so." I replied against her lips with a hint of cheeky sarcasm.
I smirked into the kiss with all thoughts of Peaches and Emily fading away, bending down and picking her up. She wrapped her legs around me as I walked towards the stairs and took us both up to the bedroom. I had intentions of topping her… I was a top after all but she had other ideas. She wanted to control the situation. When I had placed her on the bed with me on top of her, she flipped us over and told me to "Stay". She tenderly undid the button on my pants and took them off in one swift movement. Lia pushed my shirt up a little ways and leaned down, kissing the exposed skin of my stomach as she slid my knickers off.
"I've wanted to do this to you all day." She said as she nipped the inside of my thigh.
I crossed my arms underneath the back of my head for support as she slowly nipped, sucked and licked her way along the inside of my thighs to where I was throbbing intensely. Lia was staring at me with every move her tongue made and I found myself wanting her to hurry up and put it where I needed it. She could tell by the look in my eye and started to giggle… I uncrossed my arms and pushed down on her head softly wanting to feel her on me. I was starting to get impatient. As much as I loved teasing and getting teased… well the getting teased part I could only put up with so much before it become absolute torture, much like now. I was so turned on it was getting a little on the painful side. I needed it…
I groaned when Lia took me between her lips, sucking gently and swirling around my sweet spot. I clutched onto her hair and pushed her down closer to me wanting more. She responded hungrily, a moan escaping her lips that vibrated against me.
SMASH
Lia stopped immediately, jumped and then shrieked covering her mouth afterwards but if there was an intruder, they would have heard her already. It was too late. I quickly sat up and got off the bed and put my pants back on… The sound of glass smashing on the floorboards was a little unnerving. To say I wasn't shitting myself would be an understatement. My heart was pounding against my rib cage.
"Wait here." I instructed.
She grabbed my arm panicked and pulled me towards her.
"Don't go down there… call the police."
"It's okay… just stay up here. Don't move. It'll be okay." I said as reassuring as I possibly could, pecking her quickly on the lips.
I grabbed the machete I had under the bed for situations such as these and quietly tip toed my way downstairs with Lia forcefully whispering for me to not go. I put my finger over my lips to tell her to be quiet. The further away from the bedroom I was getting, the louder she was whispering. I needed to focus and listen for more noises.
The sound of someone walking on the broken glass made me stop dead in my tracks. It was close. If I continued down the stairs I was at risk of being spotted. I snuck a little further down, just enough to peek through the balustrades. I saw a shadowed figure move quickly into the kitchen and if I'm honest, I almost dropped the fucking machete onto the floorboards.
(Stupid)
Why don't I just call out and ask if anyone's there? Let them know I am home and exactly where I am in the house. Fucking hell…
I gripped the machete tighter, making sure I had a good grip in case I was surprised again. The last thing I wanted was to give away my location because me, butterfingers dropped the fucking blade.
(That's weird)
I heard the sound of sweeping and stood upright listening closely.
(Duh, it's Emily.)
I walked down the stairs, still mindful of where I placed my feet to keep quiet just in case and there she was. She had dropped a glass and was on her hands and knees cleaning up the mess.
"You…"
"FUCK." She said, jumping up in fright ready to attack me with the dust pan and broom. It was quite funny actually. Here I am with a big arse machete and there's Emily holding up a little broom.
"You scared the fuck out of us." I said chuckling.
"So what… you thought you would do the same to me? Jesus fucking Christ Naomi… You nearly gave me a heart attack." She said, trying to calm down and get her breathing and heart rate to a much more normal pace.
"NAOMS?" Lia shouted out.
"IT'S OKAY BABES… IT'S ONLY EMILY." I shouted back.
"Only?" Emily said in a low voice with her eyebrow raised. "Nice."
She went back down onto the floor and swept up the remainder of the mess, tipping the broken glass into the bin. I popped the machete onto the kitchen bench, obviously no longer needing it plus Emily kept looking at it uneasily. Surely she didn't think I would use it on her? God, what has this world come to when your ex thinks you're going to chop her up into a million little pieces? Oh… never mind. Stupid question.
Emily turned to face me with a weird look on her face. She was looking me up and down before she rested her eyes onto mine, tilting her head to the side slightly.
"Sorry I disturbed you."
"I… no you didn't." I said awkwardly.
"Mmmhmm." She responded with a smirk that didn't seem to quite reach her eyes.
"What?"
"Nothing." She said pursing her lips and shaking her head.
"No… what?" I asked again.
She sighed.
"You and Lia were in the middle of something… I disturbed you." She said.
I don't know why I just didn't admit it but I denied it.
"No, we weren't like… doing um we weren't doing anything."
(Yeah, real smooth Naomi. She'll really believe that now.)
Emily chuckled.
"You forget who you're talking to Naoms."
(She called me Naoms… Holy shit… I don't think she's called me that since she's been here. I can't remember.)
I tried my hardest not to smile. Hearing her call me Naoms just like she used to do, it was hard for me to not jump for fucking joy.
"I know that look on your face." She said confidently. She stepped closer and whispered. "I used to make you look like that."
Is it possible to groan inaudibly because I think I just did? The thought of Emily doing certain things came rushing back from the past… I felt my cheeks glow red hot when she said that. I broke eye contact and looked around the house. If Emily wasn't there, that's where I was looking.
Lia cleared her throat with me looking at her immediately and with Emily stepping back away from me slowly.
"Is everything okay?" She asked with her eyebrow raised.
"Yes." Emily replied. "I was just telling Naomi that I dropped a glass and that I would replace it. I'm sorry. I knocked it off of the bench."
(Whoa… she turned into the world's fastest bullshitter too.)
"Don't be silly Emily… It's just a glass. No harm done." Lia replied as she came up beside me. She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I'm going to bed." She announced, discreetly stroking my back as if to say "Hurry up and get your arse upstairs."
"Good night Emily." Lia said smiling.
"Night." She replied.
Lia left the kitchen and disappeared upstairs.
"I suppose you should get going to bed too." Emily stated.
"I… I will in a bit. I might have a coffee first though… you want one?"
"I don't think you should keep her waiting too long Naomi, not while the um, the irons hot." She replied with a hint of sarcasm.
I walked over to the kettle and popped it on. Emily sighed loudly, over exaggeratingly.
"Seen you're having one, I might as well join you. Milk with two sugars please." She said as she walked around the bench and sat up on one of the stools.
I nodded and pulled two coffee mugs from the cupboard and retrieved the milk from the refrigerator.
"So… what time are you leaving?" I asked a little nervously.
"About 10ish. I still have to pack and what not. I can't be bothered doing it tonight." She replied.
"Pack? Where… where are you going?"
Emily gave me a stern look to say "Don't push your luck" so I didn't.
"I mean, like are you okay for money?"
"Yes." She nodded. "I'm fine. Thank you."
I simply nodded and started to make the coffees. I passed Emily her mug and when she took a sip, I couldn't help but watch her. My legs went to jelly when she groaned softly and licked her lips.
"You can still make a decent cuppa." She commented. "It's hard to find someone like that." She winked.
(What is she trying to do?)
I cleared my throat before taking a sip of my own. I took a smoke from the packet of cigarettes that were sitting on the bench and offered one to Emily. She smiled and took one, put it her lips and like the whipped little puppy I am, I immediately leaned forward and lit the smoke for her.
"So, Lia… is she any good?" Emily blurted out.
She picked the timing right didn't she? I was sipping on coffee and fucking almost choked to death. I had to bolt over to the kitchen sink.
(What the fuck?)
"Eh… um…" I coughed.
Emily thought it was hilarious. All she did was laugh.
"We're both adults Naomi… and I must admit I am curious. I know we were together but you were never the type to have a girlfriend… there must be something that kept you around?"
Oh-kay… Now I know she's trying to wind me up. She knows exactly what to do. Fine, I'll play along.
"She's very good." I responded, wiping the remainder of coffee from my mouth.
Emily smirked and lifted herself slightly off the chair, leaning closer towards me.
"Is that why you're down here with me drinking coffee instead of up there making love to her?" Emily whispered looking briefly towards the roof where mine and Lia's bedroom was.
(Hmm, good point.)
Emily slid off of the stool and walked around the bench towards me. I was frozen and had no idea what to expect. After all this time, she was still able to bring me to my knees just by looking at me a certain way. She stepped into my personal space, forcing me back slowly with the bench digging into my back. She looked me up and down, placing her hand under my shirt and stroking my stomach tenderly.
"She can't satisfy you like the way I do." Emily whispered, kissing my neck softly.
(Fuck… Shit… FUCK)
"No matter how hard she tries… you will always seek it elsewhere, won't you?" Emily continued, slipping her hand down the front of my pants, resting her hand there.
"And I feel bad for her, I really do… having a girlfriend who can't seem to keep it in her pants."
I grabbed Emily's hand and pushed her back slightly. She was smirking.
"What are you doing?" I asked somewhat aggressively. "What the fuck was that?"
Emily shrugged looking uninterested all of a sudden.
"It just makes me wonder how someone after a three year relationship could jump into bed with someone else so quickly."
I squinted.
"It was you I fucking jumped into bed with." I replied.
"Oh I know… How could I forget? Especially the part when I woke up alone."
"I had to work Emily, you know that?"
"It didn't occur to you that maybe you should have woken me? Oh that's a silly question. Of course it didn't. As long as you get what you want, it doesn't matter about anyone else, does it hun?"
I stepped closer to her absolutely furious.
"What the fuck is this Emily? One minute you act as if you don't give a flying fuck about me and the next you're acting like some jealous fucking girlfriend."
"But you see Naomi; I'm not your girlfriend. Lia is… you should remember that."
(I'm fucking confused.)
"So you were just toying with me now?" I asked with my eyebrow raised.
"No, I was just proving a point. You're so quick to let someone else seduce you… why are you even with her?"
"Emily… I don't know how many fucking times I need to tell you… you are not just someone else to me. You never were. I fucking love you and you know that."
"Loving me will get you nowhere Naomi but if you don't love Lia… you should let her go."
"Yeah okay… I see how it is. It's okay for you to fucking interfere with my life but God forbid I fucking ask you how your day was… Bit like callin' the kettle black innit Ems?"
She didn't reply. She just stared at me for a long moment and walked back around to the other side of the bench and sat down on the stool.
"So what… that's it? You have nothing else to say?" I asked.
"No, not really." She replied shrugging again. "You say you love me yet you have done nothing about it. Do you really think having Lia and me at the same time would work? Are we all supposed to live as one big happy fucking family? You have her on the week days and fuck me on the weekends?" She replied.
I looked at her quite disgusted and in complete and utter shock.
"You know what Emily? I don't think I would even want to fucking be with you." I said, pausing and looking her up and down. "You're nothing like the girl I fell in love with. I don't even know you."
Emily smiled sarcastically.
"Finally, you're starting to realise… You need to get over what we once had. It's buried in the past." Emily's eyes grew dark. "It's staying there." She stated.
I stared at her for long moment. Angry, hurt, confused, anxious and every other negative fucking emotion you can think of. I was feeling them all but the way I work; it's the anger that pokes through. It rises and overshadows anything else I am feeling. I put my hand into the pocket of my pants and pulled out my wallet, taking out a total of 50 pounds.
"Here." I said throwing the notes on top of the bench in front of her. "I fucked you for what… two and a half hours yeah?" I stared at her in anger, my eyes wide and my stare hard. "Keep the fucking change." I said as I walked off mumbling "Fucking call girl" to myself.
"What the fuck did you just call me?" Emily said. I heard the chair scrap violently against the floorboards and then heard her storm her way over towards me. She slapped me at the back of the head and pushed me hard. I turned around to face her.
"Fuck-ing call-girl." I repeated slowly. I stood up straight and raised my eyebrow. "That's what you are innit? A two pound slag ridin' all sorts of strange dick all over fucking London." I yelled.
SLAP
"How dare you fucking speak to me like that you fucking prick." She said shocked.
"Truth hurts huh?" I simply replied.
She didn't say anything.
"Don't act like you're offended. I know what you've been doin'. Openin' your legs to anyone willing to pay… fucking slut."
(Okay Naoms… I know you're angry about the whole situation but do you really think speaking this way is going to help… you need to cool it. You're being fucking horrible.)
"You gonna cry now Ems?"
There was no reply.
"Aw, go on… let the tears fall. Blame me for how your life turned out. Go on, I'm waiting. Tell me how it's my fault that you make a living lying on your fucking back getting fucked into next week."
I saw Emily's jaw clench when I taunted her. I saw the look in her eye change and right before she did it, I knew what was coming. I could have stepped away, I could have blocked it and avoided it but I didn't. Deep down I knew I deserved it. I was angry. I was fucking furious with how she had been treating me since she had been here like I was just some toy and shitting all over what we used to have. It was fucking special and she couldn't give two fat fucks about it. I had bottled my anger up inside. I tried to be patient with her. I tried my best to help her and show her I still fucking cared but all my efforts had gone unnoticed. She continued to play with me, she continued to shut me out, she continued with the hot and cold bullshit and it had taken me up to this point to finally snap. It was wrong, the things I said. Regardless if it was the truth, it could have been said a lot nicer. I let her punch me. She got me good too, right in the mouth. I stumbled back and dropped to my knees dizzy as all fuck, feeling the blood from my cut lip run down my chin and onto my shirt. I don't know why but I started to chuckle to myself like a lunatic as I used the back of my hand to wipe the blood away.
(Where did she learn to punch like that? It was a fucking beauty.)
"FUCK YOU NAOMI." She screamed. I heard a light switch upstairs and knew straight away that Lia had gotten up out of bed.
"Love you too Ems." I called out to her as she stormed off towards her bedroom, sobbing to herself.
"Oh my God… Naomi, what happened?" Lia said panicked as she walked down the stairs hurriedly.
She kneeled down and lifted my head and followed the blood to find where it was coming from. She quickly stood back up and ran upstairs to get a towel. When she returned she placed it on my cut lip and told me to put pressure on it.
"Did Emily do this?" She asked in an angry tone.
"It's okay…"
Lia cut me off.
"I'm going to kill her."
(WHOA what the fuck?)
Lia got up and stormed her way through the kitchen towards Emily's room.
"EMILY." She yelled out.
(OH FUCK MY LIFE)
I got up quickly and ran behind Lia in an attempt to catch up but Lia had already forced her way into Emily's room. Emily was standing there, her mascara smudged around her eyes and I felt tightness within my chest upon seeing her like that.
"You fucking bitch… how dare you?" Lia yelled at Emily. She raised her hand and went to hit her but I couldn't just stand there and watch that happen. No matter what I said earlier in anger, I still loved her. I still cared. I couldn't watch her get hurt by anyone. Not even Lia. I stepped forward and grabbed Lia's top and pulled her back as she was in mid swing. Emily's eyes were closed, waiting for the punch to connect but it never did. I wrapped my arms tightly around Lia's waist as she struggled to get free. I had never seen this side of Lia before. It was a shock. She had never been violent to anyone. Not while we've been together.
"Let me go Naomi." She demanded.
Emily peeked through one eye, wondering why she didn't feel the pain from a blow to the face and then opened the other when she saw why. She didn't speak; she just stared at Lia and me. The look in her eyes was vacant and disconnected.
"Calm down." I whispered into Lia's ear. "It was my fault hun…"
"I will not calm down. She has been nothing but fucking trouble since she has been here."
(Huh? Emily hasn't done anything to Lia... it's only been to me and done in private.)
I didn't let go of Lia. I was too scared to. As I said before, I had never seen her THIS ropable before so I didn't know what to expect from her.
"Naomi… let me go." She said in a calmer voice. I was thinking maybe she was trying to trick me so when I let her go, I made sure that I was in between the two.
Lia went for Emily again and thank fuck I was switched on because she would have got her too. The way she pushed me out of the way would have given her all the access she needed had I not anticipated her move. I caught her and pushed her back towards the door.
"I fucking told you Naomi… I told you she would bring trouble into this home."
"Lia, relax… it was my fault what happened. She didn't mean it." I said in Emily's defence.
Lia scoffed.
"She needs to go…" Lia paused and turned her angry gaze to Emily. "Pack your things and leave."
"NO… wait." I turned to Emily pleadingly, begging her with my eyes to not listen to Lia. This had gone way out of hand. I faced Lia when Emily didn't move and do what Lia had said.
"Babe, please… calm down okay?" I said as soothingly as I possibly could.
"STOP telling me to calm down. I want her out of this house Naomi. NOW." Lia yelled.
Lia turned and opened Emily's drawers and started taking Emily's neatly folded clothes out roughly, throwing them on the bed. I took hold of Lia's arms.
"Lia… stop it… Leave 'em. We'll talk about this in the morning when everyone is calmer." I said as she struggled to get free.
Lia started shaking her head.
"I want her out now. Right fucking now."
"Lia…"
"Don't fucking "Lia" me…" She growled angrily. "I know what's been going on. Do you really think I'm that fucking stupid Naomi? I wash your fucking clothes. As if I wouldn't have recognised the button I found in Emily's room."
(Oh oh)
"Where's the shirt Naomi?"
"I…"
SLAP
"AH Jesus fuck." I yelled in pain after she hit me in the same spot Emily had ten minutes ago.
"How could you do that to me?" Lia said, breaking down into tears.
"I'm… I…"
(FUCK NAOMI… spit it out)
"AND YOU… what kind of a person comes into another's home and…" Lia paused and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. "You're a home wrecker Emily. You did this on purpose. You knew Naomi was still in love with you and you fucking took advantage of the situation. You don't even care do you?" Lia asked.
Emily stayed silent.
"She should have left you on the street where she fucking found you."
Lia sighed.
"How can you wake up every morning and smile in my face Emily? How do you live with yourself?"
"Naomi came onto me." Emily replied dryly.
Was Emily really trying to destroy my fucking life? Did she hate me that fucking much? I know I made a mistake when I slept with her and was unfaithful to Lia but I fucking loved her. I know it was wrong and whatever happens is my own fault but Emily just has to twist the fucking knife in too. Stabbing me wasn't enough.
"ANY FUCKING WONDER… I see how you behave around her. I'm not fuck-ing blind."
"ALRIGHT." I yelled. "SHUT THE FUCK UP… please."
"I want you out too." Lia whispered as her voice cracked with emotion.
"But…"
"I can't even look at you without feeling sick. I want you out Naomi."
"This is my fucking house. I'll sleep on the couch."
"Then I'll leave." She said, turning around to leave the room.
I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.
"No."
"Get off me." She said, pushing me away.
"It's me or fuck-ing her Naomi." She screamed, pointing in Emily's direction.
(Oh fucking hell… don't make me choose. Please don't make me fucking choose)
I looked down at my feet unable to speak. I suppose this was unavoidable. It was going to happen sooner or later wasn't it? I didn't want it to be like this. I was hoping it could have been sorted out in a better way but I guess when people are hurt and angry, this is what happens ey? This is what it comes to. Lia pushed me again.
"Chose Naomi… you can't have us both."
I sighed heavily knowing it was a lose/lose situation for me. I didn't love Lia, not the way I should have and Emily I loved to death but she didn't want me. I took in a few deep breaths before I spoke. I looked up and glanced at Lia and then slowly turned my head and looked over at Emily…
"Emily… I…"
I paused unable to speak any further.
(Come on Naomi… you need to man up babe.)
I sighed again.
"Emily… I don't want you to leave." I announced.
I turned back to Lia.
SLAP
(URGH stop hitting me)
"Lia, I'm… I'm sorry… I love her." I confessed, rubbing my cheek.
"You're really going to throw away a three and a half year relationship over a tart you used to date back in high school? What the hell is wrong with you? She doesn't even want you."
"Don't call her that." I said softly.
"Are you serious Naomi? I heard the two of you arguing. She's a fucking hooker."
She looked over my shoulder to look at Emily and then back at me.
"You better get yourself tested. God knows what she's given you."
"Then I suppose you should get yourself tested too Lia. Whatever I may have given Naomi, you would surely have it by now." Emily interrupted, rolling her eyes.
Lia completely ignored Emily.
"Did you ever love me Naomi?" Lia asked looking broken and shattered.
I stroked her face tenderly, brushing her hair away from her face.
"I did and… I still do Lia…"
She cut me off.
"Just not the same way you love her." Lia said pursing her lips.
I sighed.
"I'm sorry hun… it has nothing to do with you. I…"
"Leave it. I don't want to hear anymore." Lia said, backing away to the door. "Let me get a bag and I'll…"
"No, don't… it's late. Stay. You have nowhere to go." I said worriedly.
Lia looked over at Emily when she spoke.
"You should have thought about that before you decided to jump into bed with her." She said, walking off and leaving the room.
Emily moved and started folding the clothes Lia had chucked on the bed in a messy heap.
"It would never have worked out anyway." She said flatly.
"You don't fucking know that Emily. If you hadn't have come back into my fucking life, none of this would be happening." I snapped.
"I didn't put a gun to your head Naomi. You were more than willing to fuck me."
"DON'T FUCKING SAY THAT. FUCK"
I hated her saying that. I never fucked her. What the fuck is wrong with everyone? I'm not fucking perfect. I'm far from it but Jesus fucking Christ… everyone around me is truly fucked in the head. I'm not the fucking crazy one, it's everyone else.
"I don't give a fuck if you feel nothing for me but you know I love you. I've tried to fucking help you and get you back on your fucking feet and all you can do is treat me like a dead set cunt. Fuck you Emily. Stay, go whatever. I don't fucking care." I yelled walking out and slamming the door shut.
(Fuck this shit.)
I walked over into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Ouzo and walked out to the garage, swigging from the bottle heavily. My nerves were shot and I was fucking on edge. Not my best idea to drink and drive but I couldn't give a flying fuck right now.
Ring Ring… Ring ri…
"Angel… I'm comin' over."
By the time I got to Angel's, I was already out of it. I was sculling that Ouzo like it was water on the drive over. When I pulled into her driveway, her fucking letterbox walked out in front of me. I ran the fucking thing over. It was he's fault. He should have watched where he was going… I just sat in the car wondering where I was. I had seemed to have forgotten.
"You fucking idiot." I heard Angel say.
I turned to face her, thankful I knew someone out here. It was dark, cold and the world was a scary place.
"Angel!" I said, grabbing her and pulling her into the car, squeezing her tight. "Aren't I… I'm glad to see you." I said beaming from ear to ear. I frowned suddenly. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I asked confused.
"Eh, I fucking live here, idiot."
She pulled back with her hands on her hips, glaring at me. She reached forward and grabbed my ear, pulling me out of the car. I landed on my knees, Angel kicking me right up the arse.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" She yelled. "Get up… get in the fucking house now you stupid twat."
I was seeing double and found myself having a great deal of difficulty finding my footing. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get up. It set me into a fit of giggles as I rolled onto my back somehow still clutching the bottle of Ouzo. Angel sighed and leant down, grabbing my chin with her hand and tilting my head. I think she was checking my cut lip. Once she had given my lip a good checking over, she just stared down at me with a look I couldn't read. I just couldn't help but break into song, Italian accent and all.
"What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect. What-a you t'ink you do? Why you look-a so sad? It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place. Ah, shaddap-a you face!"
I burst out in hysterical laughter when she looked at me like I had finally gone completely fucking mental. She pulled me up by the arm and literally dragged me up onto my feet and escorted me inside her house. I felt really dizzy by the sudden movement and I think she noticed because she dropped me onto her couch and ripped my shoes off, pushing me back so I was laying down.
"Sleep it off yeah." She said angrily.
I reached up and pulled her back right as she went to walk off with her almost falling on top of me.
"We… your… the letterbox… Angel… I killed him. I didn't mean it…" I slurred terribly. "He was a fine… ch…ch… chap. He deserves a de… decent burial." I hiccupped.
"You're fucked Naomi… go to sleep." Angel replied annoyed.
She walked off down the hallway and came back a few moments later with a pillow and blanket. She put the pillow roughly under my head and then spread the blanket over the top of me. She disappeared again and during that time I had managed to get up and head over to her stereo player and turned it on.
"NAOMI… Jesus fucking Christ. It's 1.30am you dickhead." She said pushing me out of the way to turn off the CD player. She dragged me back to the couch and forced me to lie down again.
"Don't move until it's light outside." She said seriously. "I fucking mean it."
"What's up… up your arse? You used to b… be fun."
Angel shook her head.
"You know what's up my arse Naomi? Fucking you."
"Ewwww" I replied.
"No, I'm fucking serious Naoms. Driving in this condition was fucking stupid. You could have killed yourself."
"OH but I didn't coz I'm awesome." I grinned.
Angel ignored my comment and put the blanket back over me.
"Don't move." She said pointing her finger at me.
I snapped my jaw pretending to bite her finger with a small growl. She raised her eyebrow and gave me a stern look.
"Ooooh scary." I said pretending to shiver.
Angel rolled her eyes and walked off again to return with a bucket. She placed it next to me and made sure I understood that if I needed to chuck, it was to be done IN the bucket. Not around it, not beside it, not under it but IN it. I nodded understanding fully.
"One… two… Freddy's comin' for you… three, four better lock your door… five…"
"Shut the fuck up Naomi… you know I fucking hate that song. God… just, just go to sleep okay?"
"Five, six grab a crucifix… seven eight gonna stay up late… nine, ten…"
"Stop it Naoms… Goodnight."
"Never sleep again." I quickly added followed by an evil laugh.
"URGH." Angel said as she turned the light off and went back to bed.
I laid there in the dark with my cheery self starting to fade away as I thought about the events that brought me here. Thank fuck I was out of it though because as the seconds went by, I found myself drifting off to sleep. I didn't fight it. I knew better. The last thing I wanted or needed to think about was what had happened. I knew I would have to face it in the morning when I woke up but for now; I needed to forget even if it was for only a couple of hours…
I woke up and attempted to open my eyes feeling rather groggy. Angel I was sure was trying to kill me when she decided to open the curtains all the way so the sun would be right on my fucking face. I swear, my eyeballs felt like they had fucking disintegrated.
"Fucks sake." I mumbled as I swung my legs over the edge of the couch and sat up, rubbing my eyes.
Surprisingly, I didn't feel the need to chuck at all but fuck did my head hurt. It was pounding like a motherfucker.
"Good morning." I heard Angel call out from the kitchen.
"Yeah." I simply replied.
I could smell eggs and bacon in the air and I just knew she would force me to eat it.
"Breakfasts ready."
I groaned as I stood up and stretched, making my way slowly over to the kitchen and sitting on the chair closest to the back door. She had opened it and the crisp morning air was quite refreshing and made me feel ten times better. She placed a coffee in front of me and went back over to the bench and collected a plate with toast, bacon, eggs and a grilled tomato.
"Eat up… it'll make you feel better." She said.
She sat down across from me, sipping on her coffee.
"So, are you going to tell me why you arrived at my house in the state you were in?" She asked curiously.
I sighed heavily as I took a small bite of toast and then sipped some coffee. She was right; I was starting to feel better even if I had to force it down.
"We broke up." I said flatly.
Angel gasped.
"What? Why? What happened?"
I didn't say anything. I mean I was going to but she didn't give me a chance to collect my thoughts.
"What did you do?" she asked accusingly.
There was no point in beating around the bush.
"I cheated on her."
WHACK
"You idiot. What were you thinking?"
"I don't know." I said depressingly, rubbing my head right where Angel hit me.
"I fucking knew it. It was David wasn't it? You fucked him."
I rolled my eyes at her. Seriously, out of all people she chooses David?
"No, it wasn't actually. It was Emily."
Angel gasped again.
"Oh… well… um… Naomi, that still doesn't make it right."
"I know that Ang. I know. I fucked up."
"So like… what now?" She asked hesitantly.
"Lia left. She asked me to choose…"
"Wait a minute… she was actually willing to forget your indiscretion?"
"I dunno… I think so." I replied as I took another bite of my toast.
I looked up at Angel due to her silence.
"You chose Emily didn't you?" She asked.
"It didn't really happen like that but yeah, I guess I did."
"And what? You and Emily are together now?"
I shook my head.
"No… she hates me. I just didn't want her to leave."
"Well that was fucking dumb, wasn't it Naomi? You chose Emily who doesn't give a fuck about you over Lia… what the fuck were you thinking?"
"I don't love her Ang… It would be wrong of me to pretend that I did. I can't love her the way she wants me to. I had to stop being selfish. I had to let her go."
"You're only saying this because you think you have a shot with Emily, don't you?"
I shook my head.
"No… it just took Emily to come back into my life to realise I could never love anyone the way I love her.
I picked up the fork that Angel had placed on a napkin on the table and started digging into the scrambled eggs she had made. She had turned into quite the little cook. They were delicious.
"These are really good."
"Don't change the subject." She paused and gave me a quick smile. "I'm glad you like them."
"Can we like maybe give it a rest for this morning? I just need some time to sort it all out in my head." I asked.
"You need to figure out what you're going to do Naoms. This is all fucked."
"I don't have to do anything. It is what it is." I said
"So… you're not going to try and get Lia back?" Angel asked.
I shook my head.
"No, I've wasted enough of her time don't ya think? She wants marriage, kids, the white picket fence and all that. I don't want that. I can't string her along anymore. I've done it for long enough. I know I've hurt her and went about shit the wrong way but… at the end of the day; this was gonna happen sooner or later."
(Emily was right. It would never have worked anyway.)
Angel sighed.
"Are you going to at least talk to her? She'd be shattered that you slept with Emily."
"I will just… not yet." I replied.
Angel nodded her head looking at me strangely as I cut into the grilled tomato on my plate.
"What?" I asked.
"It's just… I dunno Naoms. I don't trust her."
"Lia?"
"No, Emily. I think she's hiding something."
(She is hiding something. Don't you worry about that Angel…)
I acted dumb. I know this was Angel I was talking to and call me stupid but I don't know. I felt the need to protect Emily's honour. I didn't want anyone to know what she was getting up to. David knew but he was the kind of guy that lived by 'Hear no evil. See no evil. Speak no evil.' So I knew I could trust him to keep it to himself. I didn't want anyone thinking the worst of Emily without understanding the real reason as to why she was doing the things she was doing. Hell, I didn't even understand because she wouldn't tell me anything about her.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I don't even know what I mean but she's so fucking secretive. I know she's hiding something. I can sense that shit a mile away." Angel replied.
Not wanting Angel to dig further and actually find out that Emily was a hooker I tried to brush it off as something else.
"I think you're looking into it too much Ang. She's pissed off at us both for leaving her yeah? Of course she's gonna wanna keep shit to herself. Anyway, it's her prerogative. What she does in her private time is none of our business is it?"
Angel looked thoughtful for a moment.
"Yeah, I suppose you're right. It's just irritating ya know? We haven't seen her for that long and she's like right there and won't even talk to us. I miss her. We we're good friends back in the day. It's like she doesn't even remember that."
"Don't I know it." I replied, lighting a smoke.
"Oh shit, sorry Naoms. It would suck even more for you… She was your girlfriend."
"Thanks for reminding me." I replied sarcastically.
"You know what I mean. Don't get stroppy with me. I'm only saying."
"Yeah I know… it's shit but what can we do? If she doesn't want to let us in, then I spose it's just bad luck for us ey? She's not the same girl we used to know Ang. I don't think she ever will be."
I stood up and butted out my smoke in a nearby ashtray.
"I'm gonna head off yeah. Thanks for breakfast."
"Naoms, are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied.
She frowned in concern but didn't say anything further. I went and put my shoes on and collected my jacket, walking to the front door.
"Naomi, last night… Don't ever do that again okay? If you're like that and you want to go out, you call me. I'll pick you up." She said sternly referring to my drink driving. It was pretty dumb. I know. I could have killed either myself or some innocent driver getting home late from work to be with his or her family.
"Yes mum." I replied rolling my eyes.
"I'm fucking serious. It was dangerous; it was reckless and just plain fucking stupid."
"Okay, okay… relax. I'll call you. Promise." I said kissing her cheek quickly before I stepped outside.
"I'll see you at work." I called out as I jumped into the car, taking off quickly. I was dying for a nice hot shower and fresh change of clothes. It had been a long fucking night…
When I got home, I jogged into the house hurriedly and went up the stairs. I stopped, frozen in my tracks when I saw the bed Lia and me had shared. Although she had only actually been living with me for under a year, she slept over quite a lot so you could say we shared the same bed throughout our whole relationship. I did feel fucking terrible for how things turned out. I know I should have restrained myself and not slept with Emily. I knew that I should have sat Lia down and discussed it properly. What I was feeling etc. but sometimes things just happen. Right or wrong, sometimes we just get swept up in the moment and go with the flow. It's not until after the deed is done do we reflect on what just happened and feel fucking guilty and regretful about it.
I know I am in no position to justifying my actions. I cheated, plain and simple but and look, I'm not saying this makes it better because for Lia it doesn't. It's probably worse actually when I think about it. Sleeping with someone that I have loved since I was 16 but it wasn't like I went looking for it. I didn't go out to a club and start flirting with some random, go home with them and fuck them senseless and then do it all over again the next night. It was heat of the moment. It was with someone I had deep fucking feelings for and I got carried away. Like I said though, it doesn't make it better does it? It was still fucked. I know that. If Lia hates me, I don't blame her. She has every right to. I hate myself for what I done. I genuinely care for her ya know? The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her like that. I know had I of sat her down proper and spoke to her about it before anything had happened between Emily and me, she still would have been hurt but it would have been the decent thing to do, the right thing to do. It would seem no matter how hard I try to be a decent human fucking being; I still manage to fuck things up on an epic scale. I guess that part of Naomi never died. It's alive and well after all these years thinking I had left it all behind in the past. I was wrong.
I sighed heavily as I remembered the look of hurt Lia had in her eyes when I asked Emily to stay. I could almost feel her pain in that moment. I wish I could take it away. I wish all that hurt was for me to feel so I could spare her. I really did…
I slowly started to get myself undressed and walked into the ensuite connected to our, I mean my bedroom and washed my teeth while I waited for the water in the shower to heat up to a satisfactory temperature. I wanted to feel the heat on my skin. I needed to feel it. I felt dirty for what I had done. As much as I loved Emily, the act itself was something that was I dunno the word, fucking unholy comes to mind. I wasn't worried about Emily and how she was feeling because I was pretty sure for her, that morning I made love to her was just a fuck so she wouldn't give a shit about it. It meant nothing to her. In her mind it was a 'no strings attached' situation, much like all her other clients except I was given a freebie.
(What are you saying Naomi? Must you be so fucking mean about it?)
I shook the thought away. It pissed me off, I admit it. I couldn't handle the fact that Emily used her body in such a way. It's a far cry from how I found her ey? She was a sweet and innocent girl untouched by anyone because she didn't trust people enough to give herself to them completely. Not until I came along. She trusted me and I fucking cherished the moment it happened. Means fuck all to her now though. I'm a nobody and it fucking kills me inside… How does someone so fucking pure end up fucking people for money? How the fuck does that happen? I don't even want to know if I'm honest. I know the answer will be a fucking horrible one and because it concerns Emily, I would probably cry like a fucking baby and embarrass myself. I would just fucking keel over and die. Shrivel away like a leaf on an autumn day…
I finished up in the shower and dried myself off. I looked in the mirror and what was looking back at me was someone who looked twice my age with a face that was filled with stress and worry. It was fucking scary. It was like looking at my future self. In my 40's, crippled with worries and looking hard and old before my time. No longer the fresh faced, carefree and vibrant young Naomi Campbell. I had to turn away. It was unnerving. I'll try looking in there again tomorrow; hopefully what stares back at me isn't dead looking.
I walked out of the ensuite and into the bedroom and grabbed a clean suit from the closet, a fresh bra and a pair of knickers from my drawers and got dressed. I changed my mind. I wasn't feeling like grown up and responsible Naomi. I didn't think I could pull off the suit today so I went over and pulled out a pair of dark blue flare jeans, my Vans and zip up hoodie. A slouch beanie to save me having to look in the mirror again to do my hair. Make up, although I did wear it I couldn't be fucked with it today. I didn't even care that I looked like a mess. I've always been pedantic with my appearance but I just didn't care. Not today.
"Jesus, you scared the fuck out of me."
"I've just come to get some of my things." Lia said flatly. "Sorry, I thought you would have left for work already."
I watched as Lia walked over to the walk in robe with her head down and start going through her clothing and taking what she needed. She pulled down a bag from a top shelf and roughly stuffed the clothing into the bag. She then went over to the chest of drawers and grabbed a handful of her underwear…
"That's all I need for now. Thank you." Lia said as she walked out of the room.
I ran up behind her.
"Wait… please." I said looking at her pleadingly.
Lia sighed but she stopped.
"Stay… like um…" I paused to recollect my thoughts so I could spit it out. "Have a coffee or, or something… so we can like… so we can talk?" I finished off nervously.
(Coffee? Oh yeah Naomi, well done)
"Is she here?" Lia asked with her eyebrow raised.
I shook my head quickly.
"No."
"Okay." She said as she continued to walk down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Lia placed her bag on the floor beside the end of the bench and took a seat at the kitchen table. I switched the kettle on and took out two mugs and got them ready.
"Where…" I stopped and sighed. It was difficult for me to even fucking talk. Jesus. "Where did you stay last night?"
"In my car." Lia said looking at her hands that were rested on the table.
I quickly prepared the hot drinks and took them over to the table. I placed one in front of Lia and then sat down with my own.
"Stay here." I said hoping she would accept my offer.
Lia scoffed.
"So I can listen to you and Emily fuck like rabbits? Thank you, but no thank you." She replied.
"Lia, it isn't like that."
"Isn't it?" She asked looking up to face me.
"No, it's not. It happened once. One time…"
"Don't lie to me Naomi."
"Lia, I swear… it happened once."
(What about the time you stopped Naoms, hmm? Gonna tell her about that?)
"Wait… it almost happened a second time but I stopped it."
"Yeah? Why is that?" Lia asked sarcastically curious.
(Are you gonna tell her the truth?)
I sighed heavily not wanting to say but I couldn't lie to her. She asked the question. It's only fair I be honest.
"Because Emily…" I stopped not able to say it.
"Because Emily what?" She repeated.
"She wanted a meaningless shag. I couldn't do it." I admitted.
"Well at least you're honest. I have to give you that." Lia said taking a sip of her coffee.
We both stayed silent for what seemed like forever.
"Lia, I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to turn out like this."
"But it did, didn't it? I wonder Naomi, how many other times did you fucking cheat on me?" Lia said, her voice rising above normal level.
"I never cheated on you Lia. This was the first time." I responded quickly.
Lia's eyes started to well up with tears.
"How could you… how could you do this to me Naomi?" She said heart broken. "How could you cheat on me like I meant nothing to you?" She added, breaking down in tears.
I got up and sat beside her and tried to wrap her in my arms but she pushed me away.
"Don't… please don't." She sniffled.
She made an attempt to wipe away the tears but they kept getting replaced with new ones.
"I can't even be angry with you, do you know that? I've tried to hate you for what you've done but I fuck-ing can't."
(Huh?)
"She was your first love. How can I possibly compete with that?"
Lia sighed and took a shaky sip from her coffee mug.
"I saw the devastation in your eyes when you saw her that night at the club. You were shattered…"
"Lia…"
"No, let me finish."
I stayed silent.
"Even these last months since she's been here, the way you look at her. I knew deep down that you were still in love with her. You never looked at me like that. Never… I didn't want to believe it. I really didn't. I didn't want to lose you. If only you knew how much I love you, you could maybe understand."
Lia sniffled before speaking further.
"But I guess you do when I think about it. I imagine the love you have for Emily is the same I have for you." She said breaking down again.
This time when I tried to comfort her she didn't resist. She let me. I whispered that I was sorry. I didn't know what else to say… When she got herself under control she softly nudged me out of the way so she could sit upright. She breathed in deeply a few times, trying to keep the tears at bay. I had never felt so fucking bad in my entire life. It was horrible to see her so fucking hurt and heartbroken. I didn't know what to do or how to make her feel better, even if it was just a tiny little bit.
I took her hand tenderly and hesitantly, not sure if she would pull away or not but she didn't.
"Lia, I want you to stay here until we can sort something out."
"I…No, I can't Naomi. Not with the two of you here…"
"She's not here. She's gone away for the week. It'll just be us, you and me. I can't have you sleeping in your car hun… please?" I pleaded. "I'll sleep on the couch okay? You can have our… you can have the bed. Please Lia..."
She stayed silent.
"I still care about you, you know? That hasn't changed. I still love you. There's no way I'm letting you leave to go sleep in your car. I can't do it. I'm sorry." I said.
There was still silence.
"Lia, please…"
"Okay, I'll stay until something else is arranged." She sighed.
I displayed a small smile and kissed the back of hand tenderly.
"Thank you." I whispered.
Thanks for reading guys. I hope you enjoyed it. Until next time, take it easy
Lyrics:
Leader Of The Pack - The Shangri-Las
I Love Rock N Roll – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
Shaddap You Face – Joe Dolce
"One, Two Freddy's comin' for you." No idea on it's true title and who sings it but it's from A Nightmare On Elm Street series and is sung by a group of creepy little kids playing jump rope. It's a parody of the nursery rhyme "One, Two Buckle My Shoe" but waaaaay better muahahahaha-ha