"Hey," Draco greeted as he looked down at Hermione.
"What are you doing here?" She asked calmly.
He shrugged his shoulders, "I was walking the grounds and I saw you sitting here." He noticed that she looked a little upset. "Is it alright that I'm here?"
"It's fine." She answered offhandedly.
Draco watched her for a few more second trying to see if she would show any distress over him being there. When he couldn't detect anything he took a seat about four feet away from her, trying to give her, and himself, some space. He looked out across the lake and watched the giant squid happily waving it's tentacles through the air trying to bat at the birds who were teasingly flying just out of reach above it. With out moving his eyes from the scene in front of him he mildly asked, "What's wrong Granger?"
Hermione glanced at him before answering. "Why do you think something's wrong?"
"I can tell just by looking at you. I've told you before that you wear your emotions on your face. You're easy to read"
For some reason Hermione got defensive and angrily snapped at him. "Not all of us can be emotionless rocks like you!" Draco was surprised at her reaction. He narrowed his eyes at her and made to leave. "Wait." Hermione stopped him. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I don't even know why I did it. Habit maybe."
Draco lost some of the tension in his shoulders and slowly sat back down. "I wasn't insulting you." He stated.
Hermione sighed, "I know, I'm sorry. I guess I keep expecting you to go back to the way you were before." Hermione looked into his eyes. "I'm sorry; this is just going to take some getting used to."
"It's fine." He responded, but he felt how hard all this was going to be."Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"
Hermione's shoulders dropped and she looked away from him. "What's the point? It's not like you can help."
Her words were cold and Draco quickly stood up. "Right."
Hermione looked up at him with wide eyes. "Why are you getting so upset right now?"
"I'm not."
"Yes you are. Tell me what you're problem is!" She demanded.
He glared down at her and said in a low angry voice, "You started everything. When you decided to be kind to me you made me feel guilty for treating you the way I do. So now I'm trying to be civil here. But you coldly dismiss me, almost going back to the way things used to be." She made to speak but he stopped her by quickly pushing on. "You put yourself in the middle of my problems, but I'm not even worthy enough to know yours. Old habits die hard I guess." He sneered.
Hermione was feeling terrible now. She knew he was struggling with everything and she could tell that even though he wanted to put things back to normal between them he couldn't after everything that's happened. And she's already, though reluctantly, admitted to herself that she wanted to get to know him more, she no longer saw him as her enemy. She tried to apologize but in the middle of it he stopped her.
"Just stop. I don't care enough to hear any more apologizes. I just find it irritating that you strive so hard to make me trust you and yet when I'm really trying here you lock yourself up. Is this all this is, some one sided…thing? Or am I some pet-project of yours? Trying to fix the damaged Slytherin?"
"That's not it at all!"
"Really, because that's what it feels like, like you were just satisfying your curiosity about me or trying to figure out what makes me tic. Well I'm sorry Granger but I'm no ones experiment." Draco's emotions were clearly showing in his voice, he was angry and maybe even a little hurt. He abruptly turned his back on her and started walking toward the castle. He felt like a fool, to think he had thought there was more to her kindness to him besides general concern. He had thought that maybe she had tried so hard to talk to him, even after he was better, because she was interested in being, not quite friends, but something close to it. He was angry at her for misleading him and himself for even caring.
He was halfway to the castle when he was stopped by hands clutching the back of his robes. He stood very still and didn't turn around. "I'm sorry," she said in a low voice as she rested her forehead on his back. Draco stiffened at how intimate it felt. "I swear everything I've done was done purely out of concern and nothing more. I was curious about you but only because there was so much more to you than I thought. I really want to get to know you better, and not purely because I'm curious, but because I think I at least owe you that after misjudging you. I want you to get to know me as well, but a part of me still doesn't trust you so I can't just easily open up to you."
Draco turned his head slightly to the left to glance down at her over his shoulder. "You think any of this is easy for me? I too don't fully trust you, and I doubt I ever well, and yet you know things about me that only one other person in this entire school knows about. How do you think it feels to have your greatest secret known to someone you don't trust? It's hard, and it's why I need to know more about you, I need to know I can trust you."
"I would never tell anyone, I know what would happen to you if it got back to your father."
"You saying that doesn't ease my anxiety over it. I'm stressed all the time; every time I walk past a group of whispering Gryffindors my heart races thinking that they know, that they're talking about it. I can't live like this the rest of my life." Hermione nodded her head against his back in understanding. "I don't like it but the only way I'm going to ever trust you is if I get to know you better." He knew that she truly saw and understood everything he's gone through but he didn't know how long any of this would last. He wouldn't admit it, but that wasn't the only reason why he wanted to get to know her.
"I'll try. I'll really try to let you know me."
He turned around as Hermione dropped her grip on him and looked her in the eyes. "Good."
Hermione indicated Draco to follow her as she led the way back to their seats by the lake. They sat down and Draco watched her expectedly, waiting for her to tell him what her problem was. Finally she opened her mouth and tried to explain to him what has gotten her so frazzled. She shyly told him how she was asked out today, but left out who it was. She then proceeded to tell him that the prospect of any guy liking her worried her. She's been in two relationships before and they both ended because the boys felt like she was only their friend and not their girlfriend. She just didn't know how to be a girlfriend.
Draco rolled his eyes and resolved to leave. This sounded like some trifling girl issues that really didn't matter at all. He was making to get up when he stopped as she spoke up again.
"Usually things like this don't bother me. But it's not about the boy, or being in a relationship, it's about me feeling like I'm too different from other girls my age." She smiled. "Saying it out load makes it sound like a trivial thing. But it's been making me think that I'm…I don't know, emotionally void or something." She was embarrassed to reveal this to him. Saying it out load and not having the words to really convey her feelings made her problems seem silly and unsubstantial. "Right now I'm content with my life but what if later on when I'm older I want to be with someone and I won't know what I'm doing." She buried her head as her embarrassment deepened. "I just don't want to end up a lonely old maid."
Draco felt for her but he didn't know what to say. He eventually reached over and awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. "Don't worry so much about it." He tried awkwardly. "I'm sure you'll make some pathetic mouth breather fairly happy one day." He paused and thought for a second, "And there's always lesbianism if that doesn't work out." Hermione let out a snort of brief laughter. "I can picture it now, some frumpy little women on your arm and you with a mullet."
Hermione laughed loader and pushed his shoulder. "Alright stop!" She smiled at him. "Thanks."
"For?" he said nonchalantly.
"Making me feel better."
Draco was about to respond when the sound of crunching gravel made them both turn their heads. Pansy, in all her unpleasant glory, was coming towards them. Both Draco and Hermione let out a groan of distaste at the sight of her. She crossed her arms and slightly jutted her hips out, her whole stance screaming bitch. "Having a good time are we?"
"What are you on about?" Draco asked as he stood up, soon followed by Hermione.
"Don't play daft." She barked. "I saw the two of you laughing out her. All chummy are you? Is she your new mate Draco? Or maybe your new screw?" She sneered at the both of them.
"I'm nobodies screw." Hermione said taking a step closer to the Slytherin girl.
"I'm sure." Pansy said with sarcasm. "What has gotten into you Draco?"
"I've already told you several times Pansy to stay out of my business. Now I suggest you leave before things get unpleasant." His voice darkened to a dangerous level. Pansy narrowed her eyes at him and smirked before walking away. Not a good sign.
Hermione bit her lip and turned to Draco once Pansy was out of ear shot. "She's going to tell everyone we were together isn't she?"
"Yeah, knowing her she probably is."
"What are you going to do? If it gets back to your father…" She trailed off concerned.
"I'm not worried about it. The Slytherins will either think she's lying or that I'm just using you for sex."
"Great." Hermione said with sarcasm but she couldn't hide the anxiety in her voice.
Draco turned to her and studied her face. "What will you do if Potter and Weasley hear? I'm sure they won't approve of you associating yourself with me." She bit her lip again as she got more worried. "You could always lie. Tell them I was teasing you or something."
"I don't want to lie. If we're going to keep this up, this not hating each other thing, they're going to find out eventually." Hermione looked over at him, "Unless you think it would be easier just to go back to hating each other." Even though he didn't seem worried she didn't want him to get into any trouble.
"It would be easier." He stated bluntly. "Is that what you want?" Again he watched her face carefully.
She only needed a brief second to think about it before she shook her head. "No, I don't want that."
He was staring over her head and said, "Then I suggest you put your game face on because we're about to be thrown into a world of shit."
Hermione turned around and followed his gaze. The first groups of students were making their way back from Hogsmeade and heading towards the castle, where no doubt Pansy was awaiting their return.