A/N: Ok, so I'm pretty sure this isn't where most of you thought this was going, but I promise we'll get to it :)

I'm not really sure about this chapter and the next, but they have some more laundry to air (so to speak). I've tried to put in some cute moments, but again, not real confindent about it.

Let me know what you think! You guys rock for reading and reviewing. You all make my day!

Kate stood there, like a deer in the headlights. Wide eyed and ridged. 'Castle! You can't-' she spluttered when her brain started to churn again.

'Can't what?' he interrupted her. 'I knew you were the only woman I wanted ever again, so I bought you a ring while I waited for you to catch up with my thinking. Sooner or later we both think along the same lines. You don't want to be Mrs Castle?'

Her mouth opened and closed like a goldfish and her heat pounded in her chest. 'H-how long have you had it?'

'After I broke it off with Gina. I realised you were the only woman I would want ever again. So I bought one, hoping you would realise that Josh was never going to be the right guy for you, and if I could survive Demming, I could survive Josh.'

She sucked in a breath, she had to tell him. 'Rick, about that summer you asked me to the Hamptons? I um... Do you remember when I asked you to come outside so I could talk to you without the boys listening in?'

He nodded.

'Well I was going to tell you I wanted to go with you.'

'What? Why didn't you say something?'

'Gina turned up before I could finish the sentence.'

'You- she- I can't believe this. I hate that woman even more.' His grip had tightened on her again. He stared into her eyes again. Then realisation dawned on his expression. 'You broke up with Demming.' He whispered.

Kate nodded. 'I knew then, Rick. I knew I was going to fall hard for you. That's why I was in no where relationships with men that I didn't love.'

'Not fair, throwing that back in my face.' He puffed. 'I hated myself after that fight. All I wanted to do was kiss you senseless and take away the pain.' He told her giving a quick kiss, letting her know he was happy he could actually kiss her now, whenever he wanted.

'You're not the only one.' She mumbled against his lips. 'That alley kiss was all that was running through my head after you said it. It was so hard to be mad at you. Talk about distracted.' She confessed, blushing all shades of red. 'I wanted to take back everything I said, because you were the best thing in my life, you are the best thing in my life.'

'Likewise, though you will need to share that title with Alexis from time to time.' He chuckled.

Kate looked up as she separated herself from him. She needed her mind clear as she spoke to him for this one, and his touch made everything foggy.

'Rick, I'm so sorry that I lied to you for months, that I didn't speak to you for months– that I didn't tell you I heard you - '

'Ok,' he cut in. 'The lie - that stung, but I figured it out, and you came clean about it. Pun intended.' He waggled his eyebrows at her as she went deep crimson. 'But you had your reasons, and I get it –more than you know. You cutting me out of your life – that,' he sighed tried to find the right words. 'That crushed me. I was overjoyed that you were alive, and scared that you heard me and it made you hide from me. I wanted to kick myself for not being able to shut my mouth. I missed you every day.' He stepped back into her space wrapping his arms around her, a silent way of letting her know, he'll never let her go again. Not without a fight at least.

'When you smiled at me in the hospital after surgery – I think that was the best moment of my life, after Alexis being born.'

Kate stilled as guilt ran through her. Rick was the only person she wanted to see when she woke up. She was relieved to see her dad, but Rick, she needed to see, knowing that if she saw him she'd know if what he said was a dream or real. She didn't know what to think when she woke up with Josh sitting next to her – secretly hoping it was Castle stroking her hand. Josh hadn't even been on her list of people she wanted to see. And then she had to go and lie to Rick because she was lying to herself, causing them both pain.

'It hurt even more when I saw Dr Motorcycle Boy sitting next to you, tending to your every need with a smirk on his pretty face.' He mumbled, looking at the floor. Jealousy oozed from every pore.

Kate laughed as he hugged her tightly against his body.

'What?' Rick asked defensively.

'I think I like you jealous.' Kate confessed, kissing his neck. 'Besides, his face isn't so pretty now, anyways.'

'Why?'

She hadn't told anyone the reason why she broke up with Josh. Kate looked him in the eyes, caressing his face as she spoke. 'One of our recurring fights was my partnership with you. He wanted you gone, convinced that you wanted me as another conquest so you could finally be "Jameson Rook getting Nikki Heat".' Seeing Ricks face change drastically from bemused to angry, she continued quickly to the part she knew he would love. 'He told me about the fight you had while I was in the OR. I decked him for it.'

'What!' Rick half yelled, half squealed in delight.

'He had no right to speak to you like that. He called Alexis a brat, for God's sake! When that came out of his mouth, I lost it. I was used to him ranting on about you – and us – but as soon as he mentioned Alexis... Dad had to hold me back from kicking the crap out of him. It hurt like hell, though I didn't feel it until after the rage subsided. I pulled a few stitches and hurt for weeks. His nose may be slightly crooked after I broke it. Dad patched me up and threw him out when he woke up.'

Ricks mouth opened and closed a few times.

'I'm sorry; do I have the notorious Rick Castle flabbergasted?'

'You get shot, and you defend my honour? How does that work?' a smile tugging at his lips.

'I'm the only one who can push you around Castle.'

He grew silent, tensing around her. 'He was right though.'

'What are you talking about?'

'I got you shot; it was my fault this happened to you.'

'Don't say that. You were there for me, whenever I needed you. You came for me when Roy-' A tear fell down her cheek at his name. Rick wiped it away.

'I've been kicking myself that I didn't react sooner.' He told her, not really looking her in the eyes as he smoothed the skin of her cheek.

'What do you mean?' she frowned.

'I saw the sniper before he shot you; just a glint off the scope in the sunlight and I didn't work it out until a second before. I couldn't make it to you in a second.'

'You-' Kate faltered. He was going to take a bullet for her.

'If I did it would have saved you from getting this.' He moved his hand from her back and thumbed her scar through the gap in the shirt.

'Rick, you could have died!'

'I thought you did die.' He said quietly. 'Right there, in my arms.'

'No! No you can't go jumping in front of bullets for me! How would I face Martha or Alexis? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if it was because of me that you were hurt or dead. There is no way I'd make it back out of that hole I'd dig for myself again.'

'And you don't think I feel the same way? Kate, it was because of me that you got shot. I brought your mothers case up again, it was me who started you on this path again. I basically pulled the trigger!'

She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew he would die for her, but it hadn't really sunk in before. He would give up everything for her, his life, his family. And now he blamed himself for her getting shot.

'You listen to me, Richard Castle. I don't want to ever hear that come out of your mouth again. You didn't pull the trigger, you didn't stab my mother,' her voice broke and a tear escaped again. 'You didn't start all of this. You are not to blame! The bastard who put the hit out on all of us – he's the one to blame.'

'Kate –'

'Rick, no.' Kate cut him off. 'I don't want to hear anymore about it. If I believed for one second that it was your fault do you really think I would have asked you back in my life? Or have opened myself up as much as I have?'

He was dumbfounded. His mouth slightly slack and open as he watched her, pleading with him to understand that she didn't blame him, hell, she was thankful for him being there for her.

'I love you, Rick. And I'll not have you thinking that it's your fault! You're the one who's been helping me. Helping me move on with my life and accept it.'

Rick sighed, a small smile forming at the corner of his mouth. He bent down and kissed her lips gently.

'You are amazing... and delusional.' He whispered. Kate flicked his ear.

'I'm serious, Rick.' She said, putting on her best detective "don't-mess-with-me" attitude.

He sighed. A look washed over his face that looked like despair, but she didn't understand why. Her forehead furrowed at him, and just as she was about to ask him what was wrong, he kissed her quickly. 'There's something I need to show you.' He said pulling her into his study, the remnants of their breakfast forgotten on the table.