from skybluescramble:

Thanks dear, for always being sweet, patient and supportive.

My school activities are becoming crazier and crazier; it`s hard for me to find some spare time to just sit and type sentences in front of my family`s computer. But still, I would like to sent my greatest gratitude to my readers and lovely reviewers: James Birdsong, Irrevocable Truth (who also volunteered in proofreading this fic`s almost-every-single chapter. Yeah, she is my beta-reader. Thanks for your hardwork, girl :D ), winterkaguya, coolbound, Kana-Anju, tomoyo-amethyst, cheng, KiNoMoTo18, Blue-Sapphire1, krazypig91, XxsTrInGz N' kEyZxX, Krissy, and Shenhui.

Top the fic! And please leave a review when you have anything you wanna say to me.

Enjoy :D

DISCLAIMER

If someone tells you I own Card Captor Sakura,

and if you believe her/ him…

well ~ that means you`re just naturally stupid :p

It belongs with no one but CLAMP.

::The Proposal::

::::::::::::::

SUMMARY:

If he gives her to another couple who want a daughter in their life so badly… She will be loved, just like how Tomoyo does. But Tomoyo will never see her again.

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CHAPTER #11: Time`s Lullaby

EVERYDAY no longer felt the same. Time passed by; minutes became hours, hours turned into days, and days changed into months. Tomoyo could tell that she was getting used to Eriol`s presence around her. Her stomach wasn`t flat anymore, and `a small bulge` was a complete understatement. Her pregnancy had reached the first day of its seventh month yesterday, and she was starting to feel some ticklish kicks from inside.

The last time she received a call from Sakura, she was in Beijing with most of the Li Clan, enjoying herself. She sounded very happy as she told her about this and that, that and this, A to Z and back from Z to A. The date of the marriage hadn`t been settled, but Sakura assured her she was counting the days, promising that her wedding will be held after the birth of Tomoyo's child, so she can attend the ceremony without worry.

About the Hiiragizawa man…

Er—that was difficult. A bit difficult. No, no, scratch that. The real thing was, Tomoyo was often up a stump because of him. The Sorcerer was undoubtedly, definitely a loner. She couldn`t catch a part of what he was thinking, nor what he was going to do. He was beyond prediction, after all. One moment he mocked her endlessly—triggering another verbal fight—but then in a blink of an eye his eyes turned dull, staring blankly at nowhere as he leaned forwards on the balcony, gripping the bars until his knuckles became white, or simply stood frozen like a mannequin.

She understood why.

He was lonely. The loneliness and emptiness of losing Kaho Mizuki still remained inside his chest, and she was a hundred percent sure about that. But on the other side… she felt he was—little by little, though—becoming nicer to her. The distance in their once awkward and stiff relationship drew closer, even if it didn`t make their interaction peaceful enough to be considered a normal one. Perhaps they had mutual understanding—although it was obvious that they didn`t realize.

Yeah, mutual understanding.

In what?

Loneliness?

The feeling of being left by someone precious?

Which one? Or was there another reason?

Tomoyo had no idea and she, after desperately prying about why she had started to enjoy his presence in recent days, finally dropped the thoughts. If he turned a lot nicer, then what? That wasn`t something bad either. She recalled tons of moments as she sat peacefully on her favorite fluffy brown sofa, stroking her big, rounded stomach and giggling at every single kick she could feel from the baby.

It was hard not to laugh alone as she reminisced the days when her stupid hormones began to kick in. Eriol was a total mess back then. She remembered one day when she called him in the middle of the night, waking him up from his peaceful slumber.

"NGGH ~ Hi.. iragi… zawa… speeeak… ing."

That time, Tomoyo nearly burst out laughing. The way he answered the call between a big yawn was way too cute. "Hiiragizawa-san? It`s me."

She pictured him jolting awake, because the next answer came with a firmer voice. "Daidouji-san? What`s wrong?"

Tomoyo hesitated. Should she tell him what was bothering her mind?

"N-Nothing!" She hastily said.

"Don`t tell such a lie," Eriol said, now completely awoken. "It`s two in the morning, Daidouji-san. I guess you don`t expect me to believe what`ve you said, either."

"It`s… stupid, Hiiragizawa-san, I don`t even know why I called you—"

"I`m all fine with it. What do you need?"

It struck Tomoyo in awe that Eriol chose the word `need` instead of `want`. Perhaps for others, it wasn`t a big deal, but in her recent state right now—with super sensitivity, mood swings and such (well, blame her hormones)—she felt a great difference.

"Promise me you won`t laugh…" Tomoyo murmured; her face suddenly felt hot.

"Huh?"

"Just promise! It`s already stupid enough without you making it worse."

"Alright, I won`t laugh. Now speak," said Eriol, obviously irritated.

Hesitantly, Tomoyo took a deep, long breath and said "I want you to buy me a cheesecake" several seconds too fast to be heard.

"You what?"

"But—I think it`s okay for you to just get back to sleep… I mean, well, you`re definitely tired and tomorrow is Wednesday—you have to work, right? So you can just forget what I`ve said…"

"Daidouji-san, you`re rambling," said Eriol in a matter of fact. "I`m fully awake now and I want you to tell me what`s wrong."

"I`ll hang up the phone—"

She had touched a nerve.

"God, woman!" Eriol snapped impatiently, making Tomoyo jolt in shock. "Can you stop being headstrong? I said I`m awake, I said I want to know what`s bothering you, I said I won`t laugh at whatever you want to say, I said I`m cool with it and now you`re going to tell me no matter what!"

"No! It`s too embarrassing…"

"Daidouji-san."

A warning tone.

"Uhm, I-I-I want you to… buy me a cheesecake."

"You what?"

This time, it was Tomoyo`s turn to lose her temper. "See? That`s why I said I don`t want to tell you the truth! You`re making fun of it, aren`t you?"

"No, no, I don`t mean to!" Eriol hastily said, trying to cool her down. "It slipped out of my mouth. Okay, I`ll call one of my patisserie to bring you one. He won`t be pleased, though, to wake up this late…"

"That`s not it," said Tomoyo.

"Huh?"

"I-I… want you to buy me… a cheesecake." Her voice slowly receded as she felt embarrassment hit her hard.

And Eriol understood. She wanted him buy her a cheesecake. It wasn`t about the cake. Well, perhaps wasn`t only about the cake. According to the way she asked, it was likely she wanted him to hand the cheesecake by himself. Great. What a request.

Half an hour later, Eriol let out a huge yawn as he watched Tomoyo munching her blueberry cheesecake with pure happiness gleaming in her eyes. She finished the whole cake in twenty minutes, alone. He spent ten minutes faster to get back in deep slumber, and when she took some more time to clean the leftovers between her fingers, she couldn`t help but crack a big apologetic grin at the soft noises of his snores.

While on another day…

"Seventy-eight kilos?" Tomoyo shrieked horrifyingly, eyes stuck on the small panel in front of the weighing device. She turned around to face her obstetrician and Eriol, horror-struck. "How could I be seventy-eight kilos? I can`t even see my feet! My God, I can`t see my feet! What if I wear a red sandal on my right foot and green on the left? No, no, no, I must be making a fool of myself…"

Doctor Rokuonji chuckled and so did Eriol.

"You! Hiiragizawa! Don`t laugh as though I`m an ape in a circus or something—"

The dark-haired magician ignored her. He casually took some steps forward and then patted her head lightly. His voice was soothing. "Nothing`s wrong with your sandals, Tomoyo, believe me. And, it`s okay for a pregnant woman to gain weight until a ton, I think. So… for me, seventy-eight kilos is still—well—quite small."

"Talk to my hand," Tomoyo snarled hotly. She pushed away his hands, fuming. She was too busy with emotions to notice that seconds ago the man before her was addressing her by her first name.

"I`m not lying," Eriol quickly said as beads of sweat started to form on his forehead. He was dealing with Tomoyo`s strange mood-swings recently, and the thought of having her mad inside an obstetrician`s clinic was beyond his worst imagination. "You look—er—gorgeous."

"Say a word and I`ll kick your little brother."

At this, Doctor Rokuonji couldn`t resist guffawing at them.

THOSE were just a matter of contract.

Deal. Agreement. Troth.

Whatsoever.

"I really am stupid." Tomoyo laughed bleakly, burying her face in a huge pillow with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles painted on it. She sighed, raised her head and stared at the Leonardo in her pillowcase before speaking again. "Sheesh… since when did I become this nit-wit? Stop staring at me with those eyes, Leo, you scare me."

A pause.

"I can`t get any idea why Li-kun loves TMNT… They are no fun at all."

Another pause.

"And I`m talking to no one. Great."

Lately, Tomoyo had been thinking quite a lot. And that brought her to a temporary conclusion that she and a prat named Eriol Hiiragizawa were—probably—connected by some sort of understanding. Come to think of it, there were some similarities between them. Wait… did she just mention similarities?

But sometimes… she felt it.

A kind of `click` that she couldn`t find in someone else.

This is really a strange world, she admitted mentally.

No. Maybe the strangest.

"Listen, Daidouji, he doesn`t care about you. He didn`t, he doesn`t, and he won`t care. He just takes it as a responsibility until your baby`s born. Then you give her to him, bye bye." Tomoyo cringed as her own bye bye word stung painfully. Perhaps she got used to it. To this pregnancy. To the brittle life that was secured inside her womb.

Her baby.

And somehow the feeling of getting used to this didn`t make her happy.

Instead, anxiety crushed her.

After birth, Tomoyo was supposed to give her to Eriol—she asked for it herself—and would not make any efforts to contact her in coming years. Who wanted to discard her in the first place, anyway? But now, just by thinking of it, she felt something crumble with loud noises in her chest, and like a rope tighten around her body, Tomoyo found it was difficult to breathe properly.

If she gives her to Eriol…

If Eriol accepts…

If he gives her to another couple who want a daughter in their life so badly…

She will be loved, just like how she loves the baby.

But Tomoyo will never see her again.

She won`t be able to see her daughter grow up. She won`t be able to hear her say the first word coming from her tiny, tooth-less mouth. She won`t be able to…

Fresh tears that fell on her open palm startled her. Frowning, Tomoyo used her hands to wipe them off.

Why am I crying?

But she got straight up, headed to the mirror and started to apply some makeup to make her face look more fresh. She was going to go somewhere.

"KEEP THE CHANGE, PLEASE," Tomoyo said to the driver before helping herself get out from the cab, not paying attention even if she paid three times more than she should. The driver muttered something that sounded like gratitude before leaving. That left Tomoyo alone, standing in front of a tall building she knew as the place where Eriol Hiiragizawa works at. She inhaled a deep breath, stopped in front of the glass door to stare at her reflection—she felt a need to check her shoes (the image of wearing an uneven pair makes her shudder)—and, after making sure everything was in perfect order, she entered the building.

His office was on the seventh floor and there was no way but an elevator for her state now to reach it. Honestly, when her stomach was still flat and her weight wasn`t seventy-eight kilograms, Tomoyo sometimes liked to use the stairs. She loved the way her heart thumps after climbing through those steps.

"Good afternoon, Miss Daidouji," Eriol`s secretary greeted when she passed her working desk. For the last two months, Eriol brought her here often enough to make some of his staffs remember her face. Well, for the troublesome part, he even introduced her as his fiancée.

"I need to save your reputation, dear," he whispered warningly when she looked up to meet his gaze with a disapproval glint in her eyes. "Or you`d rather the opposite?"

It irritated her like crazy that he won; he always wins.

"Good afternoon, Higashitani." Tomoyo addressed her casually as she returned the smile. "Is Eriol present?"

"Yes, Mr. Hiiragizawa is in his office. But now he`s talking to a guest."

"Is it okay for me to come in? Or I have to wait?"

Higashitani didn`t waste any second to think. "Oh, the guest is his old friend, Miss. I`m sure he`ll be happy to introduce you."

Ignoring the last sentence of hers, Tomoyo flashed her typical Daidouji smile: composed, enigmatic and astonishing. "Thanks, Higashitani. I know Eriol goes abroad pretty often to leave you piles of unfinished work of his. Never copy that workaholic attitude or you`ll turn out having no sense of humor."

Higashitani laughed. "I`ll keep that in mind, Miss."

Still with her lips pursed into a smile, Tomoyo walked slowly but steadily towards Eriol`s office. She noticed that the door was closed but not entirely. She raised a hand, ready to knock—he had said she doesn`t have to, but it was more like a matter of manner for Tomoyo—when suddenly her ears caught the conversation from the Sorcerer and his guest.

"You don`t need to come this far just to ask me that question." Came Eriol`s voice, stern and rough.

"I didn`t come for you. I left some of my belongings here, and I thought why not give you a visit."

Tomoyo froze. She knew to whom that voice belongs.

She knew too well.

Years ago, that voice used to teach her many things. Mostly those were about mathematics. Multiplication, distribution, circles and triangles… and some were about magic.

"Is he with you?" Eriol spoke about Ishida Yuuki.

"Yes."

"Where?"

"Waiting in the car. Black sedan," that soft voice spoke again, "you can see it from your window."

There was a pause. Tomoyo stood still, not daring to move a muscle. She peeked from the small gap very carefully, watching Eriol lean his face at the curtained window to see through its furring. From examining his expression, she could tell that he found whatever he was looking for. A sedan or something.

"I won`t answer."

"Then I won`t leave."

"Don`t act like this, Kaho." Eriol groaned. "You`re being difficult."

"The one who's sweating this small thing is you." Kaho Mizuki—now her name had become Kaho Yuuki—answered in a collected term. "I just asked. I have the right to know why you didn`t appear on my wedding day, nor sent me a congratulatory card or anything similar. You know that was the most important day in my life, right, Eriol-kun?"

Eriol clenched his fists. He didn't like Kaho's way of calling him. It felt like he was being treated as a child, not an adult man who can do everything in this world. Almost everything, likely.

"You want the answer?" he asked back.

"Yes."

"Then kiss me."

Another moment of silence.

"W-what? Eriol, you must be…"

"I`m dead serious, Kaho!" his tone raised in frustration. "I`m not joking. I`m not kidding. Kiss me. Please. Now."

"You're crazy."

"Well, someone calls me that plenty."

"I`m a married woman, Eriol. It`s a disgrace if I just—"

"I understand," Eriol interrupted. "He won`t know anything about it. He won`t know as long as we keep quiet. Just do it, Kaho. This time only. I won`t ask anything else."

There was a sigh, and Tomoyo was fully aware of what`s going on behind the wooden door. She closed her eyes tight, not wanting to see what she shouldn`t have to witness, but even in her imagination she could picture Kaho Mizuki, supported by her three inch stilettos, bending forward in hesitation to meet Eriol`s closed lips.

Their lips pressed together for about ten seconds before Eriol pulled back.

"Explain," said Kaho Mizuki. This time her voice was so firm.

Eriol smiled bleakly. "It was…. Because…"

He stopped to sigh. Kaho Mizuki waited. Tomoyo waited, suddenly curious why her heart felt as though it was sliced in pieces with a butcher knife.

"Because I loved you."

Kaho blinked. "Loved?"

"Yeah…"

"Past tense?"

"Yes," his reply was clearer, and he turned his face to meet hers. "I loved you so much, back then. But now… I… I don`t know. I didn`t feel anything when you kissed me. My body didn`t want to respond instantly, like what I`d expected. I can`t translate what my feeling says anymore. I`m confused."

The priestess` lips stretched into a smile. "Well… then. I think you need to find the answer for that."

"For what?"

"The complicated mind of yours, of course. You wouldn`t want to be stuck in confusion forever, right?"

They exchanged looks for awhile. Then Eriol chuckled.

"Goodbye, Kaho."

But Tomoyo didn`t hear that part. She already ran away a few seconds sooner, right after Eriol confessed that he loved Kaho Mizuki.

TOMOYO walked as fast as she could. She was nearly running. In all conscience, she wanted to run, but considering her huge stomach obstructed her strides, she had no choice but to change the paces into fast-walking.

She realized she was being stupid.

But not this stupid.

And pathetic, if things couldn`t be worse.

She knew from the very beginning that he did all the duties and stuffs she asked just because those are his duties. He said he`ll be responsible. And well, he really did. He`d taken care of everything about her, even thought about breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus carefully (he consulted all the nutritional information to a proficient one), picked her up for medical checkups, plus, gave her an extra mobile phone only for their communications.

Nobody would overdo so much in handling responsibility.

Nobody who accepted all of that kindness would expect less than virtual care.

Why? She cried silently.

Why does my chest hurt?

Why do I feel like I`m about to cry?

Tomoyo hurried to the elevator, jabbed her finger against the button, but the shaft was still on the twenty-fifth floor. Finding herself unable to wait, she pivoted to the stairs. All she needed was to get out from this building. Sooner is better. Perhaps she would consider chucking her phones—both of them—into the river to make his calls out of reach. But she quickly labeled the action as something idiotic; he knows where she lives anyway.

She was too busy with her thoughts that she didn`t watch her steps. Tomoyo`s stomach blocked her view to the floor, even with careful acts. So, her reckless paces gave just one result: she slipped.

Tomoyo fell.

She rolled some spins and hit the floor hard before her brain could access what`s happening.

In a consciousness that was probably just as thin as a layer of fiber, Tomoyo still heard lots of screams; everyone seemed to shriek at the top of their lungs. Then rushed footsteps approaching her; she felt people shake her body. Forcing her heavy lids to open, she saw so many different shoes in front of her.

"Call an ambulance! She`s bleeding!" Someone shouted.

Well... at least someone knew.

People were going to save her, weren`t they?

Finally there was nothing but pitch black.

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to be continued.