Disclaimer: Mine, Naruto is not.

Author Note: I would like to thank the three guests who reviewed, as well as Samnamikaze23, Brehze, Dyn4mic Duo, pyrohellgunner, Rebmul, Biohazard82, and Consort of Chaos for all of their reviews. August 1st I got more than two thousand views on this story, if this rate keeps up by the Eighteenth when my updates begin following a regular schedule, August will beat July in views. Anything else can wait for the Endnote, so with a huge thank you to everyone that reads, let's start chapter 11.

"So, Gakis and underage boy-toys alike, listen up! The goal of the Second Exam will be to gain one Heaven Scroll, and one Earth Scroll. Each time will start with one of the scrolls, so at maximum, only half of you can pass. Before you go get your scrolls, sign these waivers so your families don't so us when you die. That would result in a pay cut, and no way am I going to take one."

All the Genin sweatdropped save Naruto, who was too busy denying being a 'boy-toy' of any type, especially an underaged one. After all, contrary to what most thought, being a Genin didn't make one an adult in terms of Consent, and to be involved with your own Jounin-sensei was an uneven power relationship that would be considered statutory rape until one became a Chunin and was no longer bound to the same squad. He didn't want Kurenai to have people treat her like she did that.

"Naruto-kun, you and Sensei don't have anything going on right? I mean it does seem strange that you used to always go to her house after training and that she would pull a favor with ANBU to get you personal training from a kenjutsu master, but that's severely frowned upon, if not illegal since you are emancipated." Naruto shook his head rapidly at Hinata's question. He liked Kurenai, but he knew that nothing could come of that until he was at least a Chunin, and more likely until he got older.

"Hinata, Naruto wouldn't hide something like that. Why? Because he is our friend. He would have told us if he engaging in a relationship." Naruto hoped that the proctor would leave him alone when the flyers were passed out, after all, Gai wouldn't sue the village if Naruto died. He might declare a one-man war on the country responsible, but he wouldn't sue. As long as he avoided the creepy brothers and their attractive but possibly PMSing sister anyway.

Alas, Naruto's hope was in vain as he saw pineapple-shaped purple hair coming for him. "So, how did you get Kurenai to fall for you? I mean your hair looks like solidified sunshine, but that can't be all. Did you turn on the puppy dog eyes, big deep blue with little tears in the corners? You know that the Sandaime is using his crystal ball so that the Jounin can see and hear us, so there is no point in lying." 'Why do all of Kurenai's friends say she likes me? Can't anyone else have been the proctor for this?'

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Kurenai was being cornered by the rest of her fellow Jounin and questioned on Anko's words. Kakashi, Gai, and the Sandaime were particularly interested in what was going on. Asuma was just laughing. In his mind, Kurenai was obviously the victim of a practical joke since she even refused him. No way would she go for some little kid.

"Well, Yuuhi-san? Is there any truth to what Anko is saying?" Gai and cold intimidation did not go together, and anyone that knew could tell you that. The disconnect between his usual personality and how he was acting now made it all the more daunting than most. "Yeah Kurenai, has there been another reason for all of Naruto's visits to your home?" Kakashi might not be the boys adoptive father, but he did feel as though he were a big brother or younger than average uncle. He had increased the effect of his glare by adding the Sharingan.

Kurenai looked between the two at the silent Hokage, breathless from his killing intent. She struggled to speak, and eventually managed enough to get a few words out between pants. "No… Anko… teasing me." The intent diminished, and the Hokage spoke up before the others could begin threatening her again. "If that is so, where did the idea to tease you in this manner come from. One could say she just wants to tease you and Naruto at the same time, but the formulation of ideas like this aren't just a whim."

Now that she could breathe again, Kurenai gave the truth with far more ease. "I used to go out once a week and drink with Anko and Yugao. I had a bit more than usual and… referred to Naruto as 'Naruto-kun', a habit I picked up when talking to him in private. The two grilled me about Naruto and I listed 'cute' as one of his many positive features. The next day Anko used the Henge to transform into a shirtless version of Naruto when I woke up and mimicked his voice and thanked me 'for last night'. I had never been so embarrassed and thanks to that this has become her favorite teasing method."

Gai was still unhappy that his son's sensei hid that she used an affectionate honorific with him, and even more so that she would do something like talk about Naruto while she was drunk, but there was no evidence that she was being untruthful as well as un-Youthful, so he would let it slide for now. "If it helps, that is also the reason I stopped drinking altogether, rather than only drinking once a week on my day off with my two best friends." The Hokage nodded, having heard about her quitting from Yugao.

"Alright, but just because Naruto is going to be a Chunin after this test don't think you can have him then." Everyone looked shock at Gai's mixed admission of belief and threat. Gai saw all the looks and spoke again. "Alcohol doesn't rapidly change one's view of affection and attraction, it lowers inhibitions. People don't suddenly find ugly people attractive, they just lower the standard of what is acceptable. If Kurenai speaks to Naruto affectionately and talks to others about him that way, that is a sign of how she views him. If she admits to his attractiveness when she is drunk, she finds him so already and is just afraid of admitting it." Gai's newest flash of insight was so profound that he would most likely forget having said it tomorrow during training to re-Youthify himself.

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"Come on, you mean that you didn't know she likes you? I thought for sure that Neko would have told you." Naruto was at a loss, he was certain that she was just teasing both himself and, if she was telling the truth about the Sandaime, Kurenai to. "She did, but I didn't believe her either. Why would someone like Kurenai like me? Aside from the age difference, which for the sake of argument doesn't matter, she could have anyone in the village that is attracted to women. Heck, she could probably change a few minds that aren't attracted to women."

'Oh damn, I just let out that I think she's the best woman in the village! Hopefully the vampire won't notice.' "Anyone? So you're saying that little not-old me would have to settle for second best if she wanted the same one I did? Or that she could convince me I'd rather bed her than a man? What about Hana or Neko? Most men would literally kill just for one night with any of us, and you think Kurenai that much better?" Anko's smirk was going full blast, and it made Naruto even more uncomfortable.

With Neko, he couldn't see her face and was content that when she teased there was a friendly smile. Anko had a devilish smirk and he had seen her lick a person's blood, which all in all meant that she freaked him out. "Ding, out of time sunshine. Sign your waiver and we'll continue after you make it out of the forest." She turned and left a badly blushing Naruto with his two teammates. Hinata wore a similar blush at the thought of Kurenai-sensei and this crazy but super attractive proctor together. Thoughts of Haku frowning at her disappointed was enough to clear her head, but Naruto had no such luck. Shino has all of three facial expressions, and facial expression 'mild surprise' was his current look.

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After getting an Earth Scroll from the two Chunin running the stand, Team Eight stood at one of the gates that surrounded the Forest of Death. "Team, I believe I have a strategy to pass the exam quickly. Why? Because my father has told me about the giant tree leeches that live in this forest. Should we sit in the area they are found, I can keep them from attacking us and instead they will target any groups near us, leaving an easy win for the scroll." Naruto and Hinata, despite being uncomfortable with the idea of sitting around by a bunch of giant tree leeches, agreed that this was a solid plan.

"Ready Gakis? Three… Two… One… eh, whatever." And with this ecstatic call, the Second Exam begun. Shino led them to the area with the leeches, while Hinata kept a look-out for any enemies following them with her Byakugan. Naruto was the one with the scroll, since he was best able to slip out of danger with his Kage Bunshin. One sign, a convenient smoke-screen, and then there were a thousand Naruto's, all taking up the stance that Gai had patented when he found out his father hadn't.

It didn't take long for a group to find them, one of the two teams from Ame that was still in the exam. They sat around and talked loudly of what they would do when they made Chunin, lulling the enemies into a false sense of security before the leeches. "Alright, let's jump them on three. Ready? One…" The leader of the Ame-nin didn't get any further before his own team was jumped, leeches falling down from the branches above them.

Shino was the one to speak to the group before they passed out, Naruto and Hinata unwilling to get close to the leeches. Kikaichu they were used to, leeches were some of the creepiest things on the planet. Actually, everything that drank blood ranked as one of the creepiest things on the planet to Naruto, including the proctor for this exam.

"Don't worry, these leeches never kill anything they drink from. When you pass out they will go back in the trees." When the last of the Genin went limp, Shino walked right through the leeches and searched them for their scroll. With the incredible luck they had so far, it almost didn't surprise them that it was a Heaven Scroll they found. "Alright, you keep that one Shino. Let's hightail it to that tower in the middle and pass the exam. Maybe we'll even set the record, dattebayo!"

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While Team Eight laughed at Naruto's failure to keep his excitement hidden, Team Seven were having a bad day. At first, the only problem was whether Sasuke or Kiba would lead, but Sakura being on Sasuke's side ended that argument early. No, after that some Ame-nin had impersonated Kiba when nature called, which thanks to poor observation skills that living in a country where seeing is impossible had let fester, had also been fixed easily. The real problem was the freaky Kusa kunoichi that had sent Kiba flying with a Futon jutsu.

"Kukukuku, hello Sasuke-kun. Just to see if you are smart enough to avoid unpleasantness, won't you give me your body? It will make things far easier and more enjoyable." Sasuke stared in shock at the pedophile woman before him, barely managing to keep back his vomit. Sakura, however, was a teensy bit more absolutely livid than she was disgusted. Most women wanted Sasuke, no matter their age, so she was use to seeing that.

"Sasuke-kun's virginity is mine you freaky whore!'Shannaro!' Feel my wrath!" Orochimaru nearly giggled. Stupid female bodies he stole and their stupid hormones. If it weren't for the fact there was that woman with Shoton he would never take a female body again. He should have used the technique on the Kazekage now that he thought about it. Using gold dust as a weapon was kind of dumb, but he would have enough money to continue his experiments for years if he had just gathered loose dust in the desert. Why hadn't the man just done that to increase his village's revenue, it would have been easy.

A small, nearly unidentifiable pulse of chakra alerted him to a genjutsu, which he shrugged off instantly. Seriously, did this little girl think she could use a genjutsu on a Sannin? He stood still and took the punch she threw as though under the effects of the genjutsu, and was surprised that she hit as hard as she did. Probably unconsciously channeled chakra through her fists when angry. He let his body be tossed back, before standing up with a grin.

"How about you stand still now." Instantly, Sasuke and Sakura found themselves paralyzed, envisioning their own deaths repeatedly at the hands of this woman. That smile and those snake-like yellow slit eyes haunting every vision.

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While Sasuke and Sakura were facing the ninja, Kiba was facing a giant freaking snake! Where in hell did this beast come from, for surely it was not from this Earth. Kiba was desperately dodging attempts from the snake to eat him, weaving from side-to-side and rolling with less than a second to spare. He manage to give Akamaru a food pill from his pocket while the snake spat out a large moss covered rock it had nearly swallowed, and there were two Kibas when the snake locked its gaze back on target.

"Now Akamaru, Gatsuga!" Two gray whirlwinds tore through the scales of the massive serpent. A small amount of blood came from the creature before it exploded into smoke. "A summon?! Who the hell has snake summons, wasn't that traitor from the Sannin the only one with the contract?" Of course, moments later Kiba would realize exactly who had snake summons, and he would follow the scent of his friends as he dashed to help them fight a legend.

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Sasuke was hiding behind a tree, sweating and feeling some severe eye-strain. Activating his matured Sharingan had made an odd, possibly orgasmic moan come from the kunoichi, and had snapped him out of the odd death visions. He had a hand clamped over Sakura's mouth to keep her from giving away their position. Until she bit his hand, anyway.

"Wha-" "Behind you Sasuke-kun!" Sasuke turned and saw a giant snake slithering towards them. "Raiton: Gian!" A spear of lightning formed in Sasuke's hands, before he threw it at the approaching snake. It made a painful keening sound before falling, the Kusa-nin rising from its back. "Kukuku, nice jutsu Sasuke-kun. If you hit me it might have stung a little bit." Sasuke backed away in fear, unable to face such an overwhelming opponent.

"Gatsuga!" A whirling dervish of clawed death flew through the air, nearly striking the opponent from behind, but she bent at an odd angle to avoid the blow. "Guys we have to run, this chick is really Orochimaru in disguise!" Sasuke and Sakura were broken from their stupor when they heard Kiba's words. "Baka! Orochimaru is a guy!" Sakura would probably show off her superior memorization skills until the day she died.

"Ever heard of Henge? Besides, this person is using snakes against us, and Orochimaru was the only person to have that contract." The pale man shifted into his original form, his features now recognizable by all the Genin present. "Perhaps you know me in this shape? Indeed, I am Densetsu no Sannin no Orochimaru. Give yourself to me Sasuke, I have a present for you." Kiba puked much as Sasuke had when Orochimaru made his offer. Only more now that it was a guy and Kiba didn't have any of those leanings.

This blatant refusal offended Orochimaru's sensibilities. He was famous, powerful, and immortal damn it, no one refused him! His tongue launched from his mouth and grabbed Kiba around the neck, slamming him repeatedly into the surrounding trees and tossing him to the ground. Sasuke launched one of his best jutsu in desperation to injure this opponent. He threw a handful of shuriken from each arm, all sailing past Orochimaru on each side, before they wrapped around him and bound him to a tree.

"Katon: Ryuuka no Jutsu!" The wires in Sasuke's mouth tied to his shuriken caught flame, a raging inferno burning down the lines until they reached Orochimaru. The smell of roasted flesh assailed Sasuke's nose, and he canceled the technique. The burnt out husk that had once been Orochimaru shivered, pale, unblemished hands coming from its now gaping mouth. The rest of Orochimaru pulled itself from the corpse it was in, fully clothed and unharmed in any way.

"Kukukuku, now that you're all out of chakra, I have my opening. Close your eyes Sasuke, I'm going to give you your present." His head and neck shot forward, Sasuke too tired to dodge. A burning pain came from his shoulder and white light flashed in his eyes as Orochimaru sank his teeth in, only pulling away as a small black mark of three tomoe appeared on Sasuke's shoulder.

"Seek me out, Sasuke-kun, and I'll give you more power, everything you need to end Itachi." The Snake Sannin sped away, leaving a traumatized Sakura to drag her two teammates to somewhere safe. She just hoped her day wouldn't get any worse.

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As it turned out, Naruto's team was the first to arrive, beating the Suna Siblings by about three minutes. He had an odd feeling that he had missed something important, but ignored it in favor of celebrating setting a new record for getting through the second exam. Anko arrived at the tower, holding her shoulder and limping in pain later on. She had left before he had arrived to check something in the forest, and the look of utter rage on her face kept everyone away from her.

She walked into the office at the top of the tower, and moments later the Hokage and his ANBU team arrived. "What happened Anko, a Chunin told me that there was evidence of Orochimaru?" She spit at his name, willing herself to talk through the reignited pain. "I tried to fight him, but I'm still not good enough. He beat me easily, then told me that he marked Sasuke. He said that if we halt the Chunin Exams, he will strike again."

It took all of Anko's self-restraint not to growl every time she said him, she knew that her report couldn't show more of her anger. "Very well, when Sasuke reaches the tower Kakashi will seal his mark. We will defeat him Anko, don't lose hope." She let out a pained laugh, losing hope of seeing that man dead would be the death of her, and she wasn't in a rush to see the Shinigami anytime soon.

"Now, while I'm here, why don't we have a chat about your treatment of Kurenai and Naruto?" The pleasant voice and phrasing made it a question, but the look in his eyes was enough to make Anko pause. She would have denied in deference to her injuries, but right now the Sandaime was in no mood for flippancy. A groan escaped her, today was just begging to get worse.

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Teams Seven, Ten, and the team from Oto all arrived on the last day, barely qualifying for a pass. Kabuto's team had also arrived that day, several hours earlier. With the time limit reached, all Genin that had completed the exam were brought to the main floor of the tower. When they had all been assembled, the Hokage arrived to give a speech.

"Now that you have come this far, it is time to reveal the true purpose of the Chunin Exams. It does qualify one to become a Chunin, but there is much more than that. My sensei, the Nidaime was the one who designed the first Chunin Exams, thus like the ANBU, hunter-nin, Academy, and the former Military Police, he was the one responsible for its conception. It was intended to be, and to an extent still is, a replacement for war." He paused to view the looks on the faces of the Genin, many of whom were completely shocked.

"Yes, a replacement for war designed as a somewhat less than friendly competition. The more Genin that do well in the exams and make Chunin, the more power, prestige, and missions are allotted to the 'victor'. The exams exist to bring differing nations together as much as a show of power, which is why Kage from other villages are invited to view the finals, as are the daimyo of most countries." A short series of coughs and a voice that sounded sore interrupted the speech at this point, a Konoha Jounin coming forward.

"Hokage-sama, I believe that I, Gekko Hayate, should continue this explanation." A nod was sent to the man as the Hokage walked to his seat, keeping his eyes on the Genin. "I said my name to the Hokage, so you know who I am. I will proctor the finals, but first, too many people passed the Second Exam, so there will be a chance for anyone not feeling ready to give up." Kabuto raised his hand, looking rather pale.

"I, Yakushi Kabuto, forfeit. I was bitten by one of the leeches, and only just managed to free myself." Hayate acknowledged, while the Sandaime and a few of the Jounin looked at the boy questioningly. "If there is no one else, than a preliminary will be held to see who can fight in the final. Bouts will be randomly chosen by the big board on the far wall, so be ready at all times."

The large board flashed through a series of names, before stopping on a pair that made one of those chosen grin and the other pale. "Abumi Zaku vs. Haruno Sakura, competitors to the floor." Naruto looked down from the second level that the teams were staying on, wondering just what made Sakura scared of this man. "Competitors get ready… Hajime!"

Sakura threw a brace of kunai and jumped away to the side while Zaku pointed his left arm and fired a blast of air, his right arm in a sling. The kunai were blasted away, Sakura desperate to pull out a win and show that she wasn't the worthless girl they saw her as. She went through a set of hand signs and threw more shuriken, needing to keep him occupied a few moments for her technique to work. He started standing stock still a few seconds later, her genjutsu taking effect

She walked to his position in the center of the field, and just as she turned to announce her success to the proctor, he broke her technique and levelled both arms at her from just a few inches away. "Zankukyohuha!" Massive air pressure launched straight into the thin girl, cutting her body badly and throwing her at great speed into the wall. She laid limply with blood pouring from her wounds as the medics came, Zaku having been declared the winner by an irate Hayate.

"She is gone, Hokage-sama. There is nothing that we can do." All of the Konoha Genin stared in shock, while Kiba and even Sasuke launched deadly glares at the smirking bastard that killed their teammate. Only Kakashi's glare was worse somehow, even with his face covered and Sharingan hidden, the killing intent was enough that some of the Genin nearly collapsed, Zaku actually did.

Ino was the worst affected by the news, tears streaming down her face in despair. She had only just managed to start repairing her friendship to see her best friend die in front of her. Zaku's female teammate Kin looked upset with the display, she knew he didn't have to kill her, but did anyway just for fun. Hinata had turned away while Kurenai held her shoulder reassuringly, face pale in anger.

Sasuke moved from glaring to plotting, a sinister group of thoughts forming in his head. 'Just wait you smug son of a bitch, I'll kill you in the finals. No One hurts My friends, no matter who they are.'

Endnote: First, Bleach tomorrow. Second, goodbye Sakura, my next story in this selection will be kinder to you, I promise. You almost beat him to, one kunai throw and he was yours. Third, about the part in the beginning, if two people like a teacher and student become involved while still in that same power dynamic, it is statutory rape in the United States where I live due to a teacher having a psychological impact on being seen as 'above' their student. That is the same reason a psychologist is not allowed to be involved with any of their current patients. Actual development beyond teasing and fluff won't occur between the two until this dynamic shifts and Naruto becomes a Chunin.