If you didn't enjoy the last chapter, proceed with caution.
Chapter 11
Agitated, Yagami-san enters the room, "What happened?" He is accompanied by Watari.
Five minutes ago, while Matsuda seemed like he was auditioning for an inconspicuous posture in anticipation of Yagami-san's return, Raito had a change of heart. It was in his nature to oppose injustice. How could he let his insignificant idiosyncrasy muddle his thoughts? How could he be frivolous about this?
- "Enjoying yourself, huh?" Higuchi snickered. The boy's eyes remained closed. He kept beating on it frantically. A moist spot had formed at the silky fabric where it wrapped around the tip of his young member.
Raito held his breath and shifted in discomfort. His pulse raced, eyes transfixed at the screen. L dangled a thumb at his lower lip, watching the screen, observing Raito. Matsuda blocked his face with his hands but peeked through the gaps in between his fingers.
- "Feels good, doesn't it?" He placed a thumb at the boy's moist spot and rubbed at it.
- "Please stop, sir." The boy whimpered in despair.
- "What was that?" Higuchi snapped.
- "I can't.. I can't." The boy sobbed uncontrollably. He had tried. He just couldn't.
- "Shit." Higuchi jabbed at one of protrusions at the boy's chest. "What's in there?"
The boy looked relieved and busied himself getting the stuffing out. More pantyhose, one pair at each cup of the bra.
- "Clever. Now, gimme a blow job." The boy panicked. He might be young, but he knew what the term meant. The flow of tears started again.
- "I'm sick of you crying. Boys don't cry." Higuchi muttered impatiently. "Here, tie this around your head. I don't want to look at you again." He pointed to a ball of pantyhose and indicated that the boy should blindfold himself with it. The boy took off his wig and did as requested.
Matsuda was very disturbed. Originally, he was a bit excited when he thought the boy was a girl and, well, something was about to happen. It had then deteriorated into something disgusting. Duh, as if it were right to begin with. He wouldn't doubt that L had witnessed stranger events but Raito...
Raito was breathing evenly. He was able to regain his rational self. He had not forsaken his values. The values that he adheres to throughout life had built up who he is today. Maybe this would cure him of his unhealthy fascination.
"Ryuuzaki, we should contact Aizawa-san to dispatch police patrol at their address. We can reason that an anonymous informer had made contact. It is our duty to protect the innocents."
"Yes, Ryuuzaki. Let's do that!" Matsuda quipped expectantly.
L looked curiously at Raito. "As much as it pains me to witness this atrocity, provided that the boy is not in mortal danger, I'd conclude that the end justifies the means. There is a possibility that it could expose our surveillance activities. Moreover, sometimes discretion is necessary to minimize psychological trauma. I trust that Raito-kun has calculated the consequences beforehand."
- "Ahhh..that's good." Higuchi pushed the boy's head into his lap, having it bob up and down. "Don't try anything nasty. You don't want your sister to get hurt."
Yagami-san was 1 minute away.
- "Clench your mouth, boy. Make it tighter! Grr...not enough." He yanked at the boy's collar to bring him up. The blindfold was good for the eyes, but it couldn't stop his running nose.
- "You brought this onto yourself." Higuchi took the other ball of pantyhose and slid a leg onto the boy's head, with the rest of the leg aimed at the boy's mouth. After shoving the tube in, he put the boy's wig back on and his head was once again brought down to continue the dirty work.
- "Oohh.. so much better, should've done this earlier.. Hmmm..very good. Excellent..."
Raito had to take a seat. He should not get excited over this abomination. He was in excruciating turmoil as he beamed a blazing glare at L on his right. L could feel Raito's intense stare and he met it with the same fire.
"Don't get any ideas, Raito-kun." L murmured under his breath.
"Shut it off. I can't watch." Raito leaned his elbows on his thighs and bowed his head.
"I understand." L input a series of commands in lightening speed. A page of information was scrolling by at the bottom of a whole column of smaller screens. The large screen was still receiving live feed.
Matsuda saw Raito's dejected posture and wanted to comfort him. He took a few steps towards the metal console and tripped on his shoelace.
The 2 seconds that it took to land on the floor were projected in slow motions. Matsuda yelled 'AHHH'. Raito swiveled his chair 90 degrees away from the screens to check. Matsuda's right hand grabbed onto the back of L's chair, the momentum unbalanced L from his crouch. L's fingers pressed on the wrong keys before he fell sideways towards Raito. Matsuda's left hand gripped onto Raito's thigh out of reflex to break his fall. L had held onto the desktop, strong fingers buffering 21.2 percent of the motion while his toes on his right foot countering 36.9 percent of the energy by clutching onto the edge of the seat. The castors underneath his chair added to the level of difficulty with an opposing force. For the rest, he had to trust Raito.
L fell into Raito's lap. Raito had made preparation to cushion his fall. L's shoulders rested on his thighs. The back of his skull felt something bony.
Matsuda had landed on his knees, with his arms stretching before him to brake his fall. His hand was shoved roughly forward, or backward, along Raito's thigh when L landed on his arm. The sudden shot of adrenaline during his accidental drop had Matsuda's heart pounding madly. L's head was on the back of his hand. His hand!
"Matsuda, are you all right?" Raito enquired kindly. It was a first to see him up close. In his excited state, Matsuda wondered if all angels looked like him. He sat on the floor, gazing up in a stupor.
A female voice announced, "Intruder alert. Intruder alert."
"Could you let go, please?" Raito asked in a pleasant voice.
Matsuda knew he had to pay attention to something. What was it? Oh, his hand! It had gone beyond Raito's thigh. His face flamed hotly as he snatched it away, letting L's head claim the spot. Raito was definitely not a girl.
- "Ah, you do like this, don't you?" Higuchi was reaching for the boy's budding erection.
The obscenity droned on while L spoke calmly into the microphone to contact Watari. The warning signal blared ominously as it repeated every 5 seconds. After 2 repeats, they heard a pounding at the door. They listened closely and heard a muffled question. It was Yagami-san. He was obviously enquiring into the current status.
"Under the current mode, different sections of the buildings are secured, either to keep in or to keep out, depending on the locations of the intruders. Unless Watari and I enter a command simultaneously, it will continue for a specified timeframe before a signal is dispatched overseas for a search and rescue. Matsuda-san, you are a man of miracles." L composed himself to crouch in his chair once again, totally unperturbed.
Matsuda winced in doubt. Was that a sarcastic remark? L was not known to be humorous but he thought he caught a ghost of a smile on his face.
"Unfortunately, other functions are rendered inaccessible. The only option available is to deactivate the alert mode."
The warning signal had a calming effect on them, in a sense. This could save Yagami-san from sighting the damning deed on screen. They would not want him to be hospitalized again. The sudden noise from the live actions caught their attention.
- "Swallow it." The boy was sitting straight and Higuchi had his hand holding the boy's jaws shut. Thick fluid had seeped out from his mouth to moisten the surrounding material. The boy struggled, clawed at his arm and thrashed his legs. His crotch was wet. He was able to, after all.
Their motions ceased. Higuchi ordered the boy to put on the skirt. He quickly removed the pantyhoses from the boy's head and put his wig back up. A knock sounded on the driver's window. He depressed the button to lower it.
- "Sir? Parking is not permitted in this district."
- "Of course. It's my daughter. She's feeling sick and we needed to stop for a while. We'll be on our way to the doctor's, officer." The officer peered inside and nodded sympathetically. The boy was being strangely cooperative without being told.
- "Okay now, honey? We really don't want to trouble the good officer here." The boy nodded slightly. Higuchi waved briefly to the officer and drove off.
L concentrated on the command to deactivate the alert. He was communicating with Watari to synchronize the timing. The episode on screen was apparently drawing to a close. Some sharper words, such as 'fuck' and 'pussies', stood out like chalks scratching on a blackboard. Higuchi probably liked women better. He released the boy from his car ten blocks away and threw him some cash before shutting the door.
Matsuda regarded L in a different light. He refused to believe it was a mere coincidence. The street was deserted. Patrols rarely passed by. He did arrange for the appearance of the officer, didn't he? The detective paused, sipped at his cold sugary coffee, and continued the deactivation attempt.
Within 30 seconds, the alert was disarmed. Another minute passed before the door was opened.
"Yagami-san. It must have caused you much inconvenience, though it was entirely out of my hands at that moment. I had Watari to enter the command jointly with me as soon as we could. It is one of our security measures." L now gives an explanation to Yagami-san's question.
"Sorry, Chief. It was my fault." Matsuda looks embarrassed, face flushed. "Ryuuzaki-san was working on something and I fell. That messed up his sequence..."
"For a while, I thought it was Kira." Chief looks worn out with worry. He is accustomed to hearing his subordinate's baffling excuses but he knows he is telling the truth.
The large screen becomes the second attraction and Yagami-san studies the person in it. Higuchi is driving alone.
"Any progress? What happened to the girl?"
"The student was released in safety." Technically, L is correct. No one attempts to contradict his statement. Yagami-san nods solemnly, believing every word of it.
L silently acknowledged Watari's slight incline of his head. The old man retracts soundlessly. Raito is aware of the peculiar exchange but gives no comment. The continuous babbling from Matsuda is soothing, after those high-strung minutes.
Matsuda has never felt seriously compelled to carry out a task with such concrete determination as now. He will go to the ends of the world if that is what it takes to capture Kira. While he clarifies his faults to Chief Yagami, he makes tight fists to control his restlessness. His left hand makes him blush. He had felt Raito. From soft to hard. He should forget about it. It is such a trivial matter. A good night's sleep is the perfect cure, as with many other blunders he has ever made.
From their tennis match on campus, Raito knows L has better reflexes than that. He could not help but responded to him when he landed on his thighs. By chance, Matsuda probably found out about it but he is an unlikely person to make an announcement of any sort. Raito resets his priorities. This is not the time to focus on inconsequential issues.
"Let us proceed." L strolls casually to the sofa to start their official planning of Kira's capture.
x x x x
Two days have passed and they are pleased with their progress. They have yet to observe Kira carrying out his murders. The killing method remains a mystery. It appears that he was genuine with his promise of not taking another life for 3 days. His abstinence is another relief too. The three younger males have no desire to witness any of his bedroom actions being played out elsewhere.
The sun has set. The day seems too short. There will never be enough time for planning. Matsuda tries to stifle a yawn out of politeness. Raito notices.
"Father, it's rather late. Ryuuzaki and I can go through the final details tonight. I'm sure you all must be tired. Matsuda, we're depending on you tomorrow."
Matsuda sits up straight, taking pleasure in those simple words. All previous unease has been forgotten. "I will do my best. You can count on me."
Half an hour after Yagami-san and Matsuda have departed, dinner is served to L and Raito. L's dinner is also his breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and midnight snacks. He is challenging the long history of how humans have divided their meals into different times of the day with different types of food.
"I find these pieces of meat intriguing. They appear smooth without cutting edges whatsoever."
"I won't get to eat these at home. I had actually been tricked to chew on one and asked to express my thoughts about the taste before I was told what they were."
"Do enlighten me." L's eyes are round with curiosity.
"Chicken balls. They were served as a dish for hotpot in Chinatown."
"I see, it's ground chicken meat shaped into balls."
"No. The organs."
"Testicles?" L's eyes grow rounder.
"What is so surprising? Almost every part of an animal is edible." Raito finds L's expression priceless.
"I'm quite satisfied with what Raito-kun has inherited genetically."
"What do you mean?" Raito stops eating.
"I understand that some cultures believe they can obtain enhancement at specific regions of the body by consuming the corresponding animal parts. For example, chicken feet for stronger feet. The value is relative to the general demand of a body function and the scarcity of the supply. There is a specialty restaurant in China that serves various penile dishes. I hear that the business is flourishing."
It is unclear whether Raito had intended to shock L or not, but he receives a reciprocal shock, so to speak.
"Is that so? I enjoy the taste, not going after any enhancement myth. I have no interest to consume anything of the sort."
"Perhaps after tasting the morsel, Raito-kun may find the dish delectable before its name is learned. Shall I ask Watari to make arrangements?"
Raito loses his appetite. L is simply an impossible person to cope with. How could he ever develop feelings for this detective? L is blissfully unaware of Raito's silent curses as he ties knots after knots out of cherry stems after he devours each succulent piece of the fruit. His nimble tongue darts about playfully. Raito grows an appetite of another sort. Those moist lips are a delicacy all by themselves. He plans not to indulge in it tonight though. In fact, he has avoided any intimate contact since his confession. He needs the tension for tomorrow. It gives him an extra edge.
Their conversation returns to the final details for tomorrow. They have different phases in the whole plan and they will succeed, taking into account the observations of Higuchi for the last few days. He has limited intelligence. That is all they can comment on.
Silence falls. Minutes tick by. There is an imaginary giant sandglass. The months spent together are the larger portion at the bottom. The remaining grains are descending, unstoppable, until there is nothing left. Time spent doing nothing is another grain wasted. Yet they are not wasting time. From the beginning when their personal space was awkwardly overlapped to the ease they now feel with the comfortable presence of each other, every moment has been well spent. Talking. Discussing. Arguing. Fighting. Eating. Sleeping. Daydreaming. Simply being. This will change tomorrow. Raito can almost feel a wave of sorrow closing in. He keeps it to himself.
Satisfied that the last cherry stem has experienced his talent, L takes the lead to rest for the night. To him, it is more than just a new trip to another binge of sugary food items. He understands that Raito could be a cobra who doesn't realize he is one. Raito has proved to be either a damn good actor or a pure innocent. His previous Kira theory is useless at this moment. There is a formula to everything. He makes it so. All situations should be computable. Emotions are intangible and he has minimized personal involvement in such scenarios. His intimate encounter with another individual before Raito should had been a warning sign. The loss had rendered him inoperable for 22 hours, 13 minutes and 51 seconds, after the initial shock. The severance was permanent and though it seemed ironically better that way, it still leaves a mark on him. Lingering pain could mean a lifetime's suffering. Nevertheless, it is this unknown possibility with Raito that both baffles and intrigues him. It is with much regret that everything is drawing to an end.
The familiar room, the familiar bed, the familiar tea table and the varieties of items on it. After changing clothes, Raito notices the reappearance of the cup of instant noodles. He chooses to overlook it this time. He is not a mother hen fretting over her precious babies. L is no baby. Why should I care? Kira will be caught and we will go our separate ways. No strings. That is what he struggles hard to believe.
However, there is an item on the bed that cannot be ignored. Raito picks it up with a certain degree of guilty pleasure and tosses it at L in exaggerated irritation.
"Help yourself to it and leave me in peace."
Raito reclines in bed, dressed in shorts and t-shirt. He stares straight at the ceiling, as if finding the whiteness more fascinating than the person next to him. He has raised his knees to conceal his automatic response to the supposedly offending item.
L fingers at the soft fabric and observes Raito, understanding the sudden change. It is to be expected, after watching the live actions during that particular day. Since then, Raito has spurned his advances, both subtle and blatant. It is not in his nature to explain himself to another person. As Raito has shown his vulnerable self through his previous confession, L feels obligated to make some clarifications, if only to be able to touch the heart of the young man for one last time.
Raito listens with superficial indifference to L's flat tone as the detective gives a summary report of the unfortunate adolescent. The boy is from a broken family. He and his sister suffer from sexual abuse from the stepfather. The boy has shown to be unusually overprotective of his sister, which could be interpreted as a type of self protective mechanism to divert the trauma and transform it into an acceptable form. Watari has made arrangements to have the proper authorities to look into the matter and to organize adequate support and counseling to aid with their recovery. Raito hasn't spoken a word.
"I trust that Raito-kun believes in justice, no matter what."
"No matter what." Raito echoes quietly, his frigid attitude softening.
"I serve justice. I am justice. How could Raito-kun have a lack of trust in me?"
"L, did you ever believe in me?"
"This is completely unrelated. Raito-kun is biased."
"Tell me about being biased. How does a dose of your own poison taste like?"
The entailing silence magnifies the soft purring of the powered on notebook. This is not a lovers' quarrel. It jostles them with a start, to be refreshed of the one single cause that had brought them together. Time and efforts have been consumed during these weeks, months, to reach where they are today. Together, they have solved the puzzle. With their own hands, they have created something stronger than the cuffs that are binding them together. That will make their inevitable parting difficult.
The silence continues. Neither says a word. No one has an appropriate phrase to relieve the fragile moment. Raito will return to his academic life and resume his pathway to being number one. L will carry on his duty as the top notch detective and wield his analytical probabilities to resolve injustice. Perhaps their paths will cross in the near future. Whatever the circumstance, it will never be the same as now. As some wise people would say, cherish the present and the people around you. The problem seems to be the present.
L is not eating his sweet food. The cakes with a strawberry on top don't look as appetizing as they should be. With a sinking heart, he drops cubes after cubes of sugar in his tea. Even with the physical presence of Raito next to him, he is losing him already. It is probably better this way. To maintain a certain distance to numb the eventual misery. Behind him, Raito's breathing grows light. He has fallen asleep. L studies the sleeping young man, keeping his pain under tight reins. After 2 minutes, he covers him gently with a blanket. Raito sleeps away, unperturbed.
Raito is always a light sleeper. He has noticed the approaching scent of L and his breaths. He could almost feel his burning examination of him through his closed eyelids. If it had been any other day, these could be enough to arouse him and give him away. Today is not any other day. His current melancholic mood leaves no room for other emotions. So much for L's professional detachment. He is causing more havoc than he could imagine in his life as a student. He has grown too fond of the detective for his own good. It takes every last shred of his discipline to remain perfectly still when L places the blanket over him.
The countdown ticks by, second by second. Even L is deep in slumber. All is quiet. There is no reason for Raito to be awake, but he has roused from his dreamless sleep. L has started to toss about in distress. Is he having a nightmare?
Suddenly, L yells out a name.
Note: I'm feeling kind of down these days so if it's reflected in my writing and affecting you in some way, don't take it too personally. As usual, I've done the initial checking to the best of my knowledge. Comments are welcome.
-M.H., Jun 10, 2007