I don't own Twilight, just an overactive imagination.
I wrote a one-shot for the Age of Edward Contest. 1960s Edward at Woodstock; it's called Save Your Love. Check it out. Obviously the link is on my profile.
Does everyone have their big-girl panties on today?
MAJOR thanks to betas Isabella303/Shelly and Stavanger1 for talking me down off the ledge. Shelly, you are the ruler of all that is yellow highlighter. Stav, I am your bitch when it comes to commas. Sorry I forgot this the first time I posted this chapter. You both may punish me accordingly. I look forward to it, because I read The Dominant.
*****
Kings of Leon – "Closer"
Showin' no mercy
I'll do it again And it's coming closer…
Open up your eyes
You keep on crying, baby
I'll bleed you dry
Skies are beneath me
I see a storm bubbling
up from the sea
*****
Chapter 11: Medallion
BPOV
I woke up with Edward curled around me. That wasn't really any different than any other morning. What was different - I was worried about him. I'd never known him to have nightmares before. The way he'd taken me afterwards had been so desperate, almost like he needed to make sure I was real.
Ever since he'd come into my life, I had other things to think about than alcohol and my past. Of course, those thoughts still crept in during moments of silence or whenever I was alone. Even after last night and the closeness we'd shared when he had played for me, I wanted to sneak downstairs to the bar and pour myself a large glass. The absinthe would burn so sweetly as it slid down my throat. Edward was asleep, and he would never know…
I bit my lip and carefully turned in the bed so I was facing him. I laid there for a moment and watched his peaceful face, thinking of the disappointment he'd feel if I fell off the wagon already. I didn't want to cause him any pain. I didn't want him to regret being with me.
But… God. It was so hard.
I frowned as I recalled the nightmare he'd had last night. What had he been worried about? I shook my head, putting the thought out of my mind. Everyone has nightmares, right? Just because mine were inspired by actual events, it didn't mean that his were as well. I brushed a few stray strands of hair off his forehead, smiling at the little crease that formed between his brows at my touch. Easing out of the bed, I dressed in my pajamas that were discarded on the floor and left the bedroom, starting a pot of coffee and sitting down to watch the television at a low volume. When the coffee was ready, I fixed myself a cup and wrapped myself in a warm quilt on the couch, cupping the mug in my hands.
The morning news failed to capture my attention. I found myself thinking about the AA meeting last night. Alice had forced me to apologize to Jake after the meeting adjourned. Talk about fucking embarrassing. He'd accepted my less than sincere apology graciously, proceeding to give me lots of advice about the program that I didn't particularly want. He and Alice had really hit it off. It didn't surprise me, because they both had the same ebullient, pushy nature. He seemed really eager to be my friend, but I didn't think I had room for another Alice in my life. One was enough.
I'd come away with my bag full of meeting schedules and pamphlets, its overflowing state inversely proportional to my sapped energy and patience. I had to start all over again today. No matter how I felt about anything else I'd learned last night, I knew it was going to be one day at a time for me. I was powerless over alcohol. Just knowing how much of it was directly downstairs had me practically vibrating. I was testing myself, or at least, that's what I tried to think. The urge to throw it all away or get drunk was strong. I shot a glance at the bedroom door, and then to the front door of the apartment, wondering if I could make it downstairs and back before Edward woke.
Just a little ride in the elevator… Leaving the quilt on the couch behind me, I padded to the little table near the door, touching a fingertip to the keys that lay in a little bowl on the tabletop. The keys to the bar were on that key ring somewhere. I picked them up and gripped them hard enough for the edges of the keys to leave indentations in my palm. Sighing, I dropped them back into the bowl with a clunk and walked away, once again wrapping the quilt around my shoulders, as I dropped back onto the couch.
As much as I hated the idea, I knew I had to go to another meeting today. Ninety meetings in ninety days. One down, eighty-nine to go. I could barely contain my excitement.
I was bored, and boredom had never been a good thing for me. Boredom led me to do stupid things, like think about Phoenix, which inevitably led me to drink until I passed out. I thought about doing some journaling, but I didn't have my laptop with me. I could always use the computer in Edward's office…
Decision made, I tugged the quilt a little further up on my shoulders and made my way to the office. I'd never spent much time in this room before. It was small and light, modern yet cozy, just like the other rooms in his apartment. I sat at the rich walnut desk and looked around, peering at a few family photos on the surface. There was the requisite extended family photo (I wasn't surprised that every single one of them was ridiculously good-looking), along with a few candid shots of Emmett and his family. There was one picture of a young Emmett in a police dress uniform. An even younger Edward stood next to him, both grinning proudly. Emmett had been a cop? It was obvious he was no longer working in the police force. Something struck me as strange, but I assumed it was just residual feelings from the dinner with Emmett and Rosalie. I dismissed the thought and moved on to the next photo.
It was a picture of Edward and Emmett as boys that drew me. I laughed at first, because I had no idea why he would choose to display this picture where he could see it daily. It was a pretty embarrassing photo. The boys sat on a stone wall and both had the most sullen expression. Edward's face was fixed in a younger version of the Cullen Pout, and Emmett's was almost as cute. Both were wearing Mickey Mouse ears and matching t-shirts.
The picture was appealing to me because I remembered Renee making me pose for lots of pictures like this. There were several from my ill-fated dance lessons and various sports she'd tried to force me to play, until she realized the hospital bills would bankrupt us before I started to enjoy any of it.
Before I knew it, I'd opened up a word document and my fingers were flying over the keys. I wrote about my childhood, about my mother; how much I loved being her daughter, even if she was a little flighty and absentminded. I wrote about how she used to tell me that I was too serious, and that God had given me a silly mother so we could balance each other out. I wrote about my first day in kindergarten and how she sat on the steps crying the whole day while I was in school. I wrote about all the good things I could remember, until I couldn't think anymore. I was drained, but I felt better than I had in weeks.
I looked around in the desk drawers for a flash drive I could save my document to. I was getting frustrated, rifling through the last drawer when I heard Edward's voice in the doorway.
"What are you doing in here?" he asked tersely. I sat up straight in shock, wondering why he was being so short with me.
"Looking for a flash drive," I answered. His brows were knitted together as he rushed into the room and reached into the drawer I was currently searching. He pulled a box of them out of the very back of the drawer and handed me one. "Thank you," I said with a tentative smile. What is he upset about? He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the desk as I inserted the drive into the tower, and I caught him glancing nervously at the screen. "Look, Edward, if you don't want me using your computer, just say so. I was just writing some stuff… I'll make sure I bring my laptop next time." I was beginning to get a little annoyed. I saved the document and yanked the drive out of the USB port.
"It's not that," he said, sighing. I took in his tense shoulders before my eyes wandered south, drawn to where his jeans hung low on his hips. I blinked and forced myself to study his face.
"Then what is it? You just about bit my head off when you saw me in here."
"I didn't know where you were when I woke up. It makes me cranky," he said, looking at me through half-closed eyes. I expected to see that pout any second now. He reached out and hooked a finger under the edge of the quilt and tugged, sending it sliding off my shoulders. I batted his hand away and gave him a little scowl.
"That's not any reason to be mean." I stood up and started for the door, intending to take a shower and give myself a little time to be mad at him. Before I could make it two steps, he grabbed my wrist and tugged me to stand between his legs. He linked his hands at my lower back, pulling me closer, but I leaned my upper half back and crossed my arms. "You're acting weird. Talk to me when you've decided to be nice and not pissy," I snapped. He leaned forward until his chest pressed against my arms.
"I don't like it when I wake up and you're not there," he said softly before dipping his head to brush the tip of his nose up my neck. His hands started moving up and down my back and he pressed a kiss to my jaw just below my ear. I fought to hang on to my anger, but it was so hard when he was there - and shirtless. "I'm sorry." He skimmed his lips over my skin until he got to the corner of my mouth. He pressed his lips to mine, but I remained stubborn and didn't respond. I turned my head away and tried to step out of his grasp, but he held firm.
"Edward, it's fine. May I go take a shower now?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Nope." He placed a trail of kisses from just below my ear to my collarbone. I couldn't help relaxing a bit in his arms, and I placed my hands on his chest.
"Edward, please tell me what's wrong. First it was your nightmare, now you're acting strangely." Yeah, Bella. You really have a right to ask him to tell you what's wrong. You've been so honest with him.
He sighed, the hot rush of his breath against my neck making me shiver. Lifting his mouth from my skin, he let his head drop back and stared at the ceiling.
"Bella, I told you. It's nothing. You won't tell me what your nightmares are about, so why are you so interested in mine?" he asked exasperatedly. "They're just dreams." I bit my lip and focused on my hands. Could I trust him?
"If I told you, would you tell me?" My voice was barely more than a whisper. I saw his Adam's apple work as he swallowed before clearing his throat.
"I can't really remember it, Bella. If I could, I'd tell you," he said. He wouldn't look me in the eye. Why would he lie about this? What is he hiding? Of course, I of all people had no business questioning why people kept secrets. Maybe he was just embarrassed. I knew men didn't want to appear weak. Maybe I was trying to overanalyze this whole situation. It was so Goddamn frustrating.
The solution to that is waiting just downstairs…
Oh God, I wanted it. Just one drink would make all of this so much better. Just one…
I stepped back once more; he let me go this time. I stared at the front door as I walked to the bedroom, feeling the pull of the bar downstairs. I walked quickly to the master bathroom and slammed the door, forcefully turning the knob for the hot water. I stripped off my pajamas as the water heated and steam began to fill the room.
I stepped into the hot spray, closing my eyes as the water soothed my tense muscles. Turning my face to the water, I let it pelt my face and hoped it might wash away the uneasy thoughts I was having. I heard the door open and turned to see Edward standing just beyond the textured glass. I watched as he slid his jeans off his hips and stepped out of them, opening the door and stepping into the humid space. He said nothing, just stepped forward and wrapped me in his arms. We stood together under the water and I laid my head on his chest.
"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have snapped at you." His voice seemed loud in the small space, more resonant somehow. His hand stroked a path up and down the length of my back. I looked up at him, his face a study in soft colors through the mist. His cheeks were flushed from the heat of the shower and his lips were slightly darker. His eyes were bright, standing out against the soft focus of the rest of him, framed by the dark hair plastered to his forehead. His eyes were such an unusual color, one I'd never seen before, one I knew I'd never forget. I could see the darker flecks of forest green around his pupils and I marveled again at how beautiful they were.
I still hadn't responded, but he didn't seem to mind. He slowly lowered his head to mine, keeping his eyes trained on me, as if asking for permission. I didn't turn my head this time. Maybe I was just being paranoid. If I couldn't trust Edward, then I couldn't trust anyone.
*****
"So when do I get to meet your wife?" I asked, leaning forward and planting my elbows on the small table. To my surprise, Jake and I had become friends in the last couple of weeks. It became habit to join him and a few others after the meeting for coffee. A few times a week, we would meet in the little coffee shop across the street from the church. Sometimes, Alice joined us. This time, however, it was just Jake and I. My sponsor, Stephenie, had to get home early to relieve the babysitter tonight, and the others had prior commitments.
"As soon as I get to meet your guy," he said with a knowing twinkle in his eye. I didn't like to speak about my personal life with anyone at AA, but it was hard not to talk about Edward, especially when we weren't talking about the program. He was a huge part of my life.
I knew they advised working on one step at a time, but it seemed to work better for me if I just jumped right in and tried to practice all twelve steps. Jake was against this and often made his views known. He said it was too overwhelming; I should master each step before going on to the next. For me, it was a matter of immersing myself in my recovery. It was all or nothing, just as it had been with my addiction.
Just as it was with Edward. I depended on him. He made me happy. For all the times I wished I had a drink, there were two more that made me wish for him.
It wasn't easy. Two days ago I'd nearly succumbed to the urges. I'd been journaling ever since the morning in Edward's office, and I was also working on passages that I eventually wanted to turn into a novel. But that afternoon, nothing would come. Not the journal entry, nor anything I could use for the book. I'd found myself sitting in my truck in front of a package liquor store, wanting so badly to go in. I was clutching the door handle, ready to pull it open, when my phone rang. Edward.
*****
"Just stay put, Bella, please. I'll be right there, okay?" he said.
"I'll just drive home on my own," I said, still staring at the front door of the liquor store. Relief was so close, I could taste it…
"I'm already on my way. Let me come get you. Just leave the phone on speaker, Baby. You don't have to talk; I'll just keep talking to you. I'm about five minutes away." He sounded so worried. I felt terrible that my weaknesses caused him pain. I was such a piece of shit and I didn't deserve him.
"I think I can sit here for five minutes," I said. I didn't know if it was a lie. I really wasn't sure. I shut my eyes for a second and took a deep breath.
"You can do it, Bella. I'm almost there…" I listened as he kept speaking, and I felt a tiny bit better at the sound of his voice. Keeping my eyes anywhere but the store in front of me, I grabbed my bag out of the passenger seat, frantically digging through it until I grasped cool metal. I pulled out his watch and slipped it on, staring at it as I listened to his voice in the background. A few minutes later, he appeared at the door of the truck and yanked it open. "Come on, let's go home," he said, helping me out of the truck.
"I'm sorry, Edward," I said, my voice cracking. Tears burned my eyes and I couldn't fight them back. Would this ever go away? He enveloped me in his arms and kissed the top of my head.
"You didn't do anything, Bella. You fought it. Now we just go on from here."
I may have fought it this time, but I knew I would have gone inside if he hadn't called. I could have called Stephenie, I had her card in my bag, but I didn't. I had no idea what would happen the next time…
*****
"Hello? Bella? Anyone home?" Jake laughed, waving his hand in front of my face. I blinked quickly and smiled.
"Sorry, Jake. Just thinking." We continued talking for a few more minutes. He walked me to my truck when we were finished.
"Wait! I have something for you," he said as I started to hop into the truck. I turned around and watched him pull a little gold box out of his messenger bag.
"Your wife is going to be awfully pissed if you're giving me jewelry," I said dryly. "And Edward will probably beat you within an inch of your life." Jake snorted, rolling his eyes.
"I don't think this qualifies as 'jewelry,' per se. Open it; you'll see what I mean."
I pulled the tiny lid off the box and studied the round, silver object nestled on a bed of cotton.
"It's a two-week medallion. Congratulations on two weeks of sobriety, Bella," he said sincerely.
"Thank you, Jake. It's wonderful," I said. "Thank you for thinking of me." I hugged him awkwardly, patting him on the back, when I heard Edward's voice.
"Bella." I spun around to see him, happiness surging through my veins at the sight of him leaning against his Volvo in his old leather jacket. I couldn't help the stupid grin that formed on my lips.
"Hi, Edward," I said, walking quickly to where he stood and slinging my arms around his neck. "What are you doing here?" I pulled back to see his face, but he was looking at Jake, and he didn't look very happy. He finally looked down at me and his expression didn't soften much. "What?"
"I thought some woman named Stephenie was your sponsor," he said, the crease between his brows deepening as he looked at me.
"She is. She couldn't make it because her babysitter needed to be home early." I turned, indicating Jake where he stood near my truck. "This is Jake. He usually leads the meetings," I said, trying to ignore the uneasy feeling Edward's strange mood was giving me.
Jake came over to where we stood and Edward pulled me into his side, his hand resting proprietarily on my hip. Was he jealous?
"You must be Edward," Jake said, sticking out his hand. "Jake Black. It's nice to meet you."
"Edward Cullen." He shook Jake's hand. "Nice to meet you, too." I stood there, observing the male posturing. Why didn't Edward just piss all over my leg and get it over with? It would have sent out just about the same signals.
"Bella's talked a lot about you." I gave Jake a grateful look; I appreciated his attempt to smooth any ruffled male feathers. Edward seemed to relax slightly.
"I tell them all sorts of awful things about you," I offered, smirking up at him. He finally smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. I could tell we needed to have a discussion about this when we got home, and it wasn't something I was looking forward to. How could he think I was interested in anyone else? I'd fought myself so hard to stay away from Edward in the beginning. I didn't want anyone else.
"She does. I hear you have quite the music collection," Jake said, laughing. Edward rolled his eyes.
"For the last time, Bella, I do not have OCD," he sighed.
"Okay, Edward," I said patronizingly, but I nodded my head at Jake at the same time.
"I'm going to get out of here. Leah will be wondering where I am if I don't get home soon. I'll see you tomorrow, Bella. Again, it's nice to meet you, Edward." Edward and I both waved and Jake turned, walking to his car. Edward watched him intently as the car pulled out of the lot.
"Edward, what are you doing here? Not that I'm not happy to see you, but you knew I was staying later tonight." He hesitated, looking as if he was searching for the right words. He looked at the ground before speaking.
"I thought you only had coffee with your sponsor," he said curtly.
"I usually do," I answered. "Jake and a few others are usually there too. No one else could make it tonight." I was starting to get angry with his questioning.
"So why didn't you just come home? You were gone longer than usual. I missed you."
"I don't know. It's become routine," I said. "I didn't think it would upset you."
"That didn't upset me, Bella. I saw him giving you something, and then you hugged him, and I…" he swallowed hard and sighed before continuing. "I didn't like it."
I put my hand on his arm, smiling. "Do you want to see what it is?" I asked. He nodded. "It's a two-week sobriety medallion." I handed him the box. "Open it."
He pulled out the little silver coin and laughed once, flipping it over in his hand. He ran his other hand through his hair in the nervous gesture I adored. He still wasn't completely relaxed, and that worried me.
"Is that all, Edward? You came over here because you missed me? It seems like something else is wrong."
"I was worried about you, okay? After what happened the other day, I was afraid." He sighed and an unsure expression flitted across his face. He opened his mouth to speak again several times, but he never said anything more.
"What, Edward? Just tell me!" I was getting more and more uncomfortable with each passing second. What if he thinks it's too much? Has he finally realized I'm not worth it and he can't find the way to tell me?
"I was here last night, too." He spoke so quietly I almost didn't hear the words. I wished I hadn't heard them, to be honest.
"So you're spying on me," I said flatly. "Why didn't you just come out and talk to me about this?"
"I didn't want you to think that I don't trust you," he said, reaching for my hand. I shoved both hands into my pockets.
"And what do you think this tells me?" I asked, unable to keep the growing ire out of my voice. I wasn't just pissed at him, I was pissed at myself. Here I was, expecting honesty from him, when I couldn't even return the favor. Although, after this little development, I wasn't exactly bursting to tell him my secrets. He was keeping things from me, and it hurt. I was such a hypocrite.
"I'm worried about you!" he said vehemently, looking around to make sure we weren't causing a scene.
"You already said that," I snapped. I was getting angrier by the second. Part of me knew I was being a little irrational about this, that Edward meant well, but it was outweighed by the part of me that needed to yell and scream and maybe break something. Was I just looking for a reason to cause a fight? I didn't know, but I needed to be angry. I needed to feel anything but this disappointment in Edward, and in myself.
"That doesn't make it any less true!" He stepped closer and I backed away.
"So what are you worried about? That I'll start drinking again, or that I'm fucking Jake?" He flinched as I spoke, but I kept going. "He's married, by the way. He has a wife and son!" My voice rose and the rational part of me grew more and more detached with each word. It was like I was watching myself fly out of control, and there was really nothing I could do to stop it. "How flattering that you think so little of me, Edward." I turned and began walking to my truck before this could escalate any further. I needed a break. Some time to think.
"Wait, Bella! Where are you going? I don't want to fight with you…" He sounded so weary, which made me sad, but I was still riding the inexplicable, irrational anger. He gripped my elbow and I whipped around.
"You should have thought of that before you spied on me, Edward," I shot back, yanking my elbow out of his grasp. "You know what?" I paused, breathing hard, knowing that what would come out of my mouth next was going to be bad, but I couldn't control it. "If you're that convinced that I'm going to drink, then why don't I just go ahead and make this easy for you? Maybe I'll get lucky and find some random guy to fuck while I'm drunk, and then you can be right on all counts!" I screamed, turning once again to stalk towards the truck. I heard the heavy footfalls of his boots behind me.
"Bella, don't trash your life because you're pissed at me!" he yelled. We were causing a full-fledged scene now, but there was no one around to watch, thank God. "And no, I didn't think you were fucking Jake, but I think I'm within reason to be worried you'll relapse." I clenched my teeth and stood at the truck, looking at the ground, taking deep breaths to try and calm myself. I was boiling, and the fact that he had the nerve to sound so rational, when I wanted to explode, just made it worse. He reached out with one hand to touch my cheek, and I let him, but gave no outward sign of acknowledgement. I shut my eyes to block him out. "Bella, please look at me."
I ignored him and yanked the door open with a loud creak. I pulled away from him and got in, tossing my bag into the passenger seat. He stepped in the way of the door so I couldn't shut it. I looked up at him with sullen eyes, because I didn't want to speak for fear of breaking.
He thrust the medallion at me. "Don't you want this? You should really take it if you're going to throw away your two weeks of sobriety," he said, a hard edge to his voice. "Maybe this will make you think twice, even if I can't." I knocked his hand away as hard as I could, the coin flying to the ground and hitting the pavement with a metallic clink. He grabbed my wrist and leaned into the truck. "Bella, don't do this."
"Why do you care, Edward? You think I'm so weak and such a slut that I'll sleep with anyone who gives me a little attention. You don't have any faith in me. Why should I try to be any different than what you think?" I laced my voice with as much venom as I could.
"I've never thought that. Never. Yes, I was jealous of Jake, all right? He has something in common with you that I can't even begin to touch. It was a knee-jerk reaction!" He suddenly brought both hands to my face, forcing me to look directly in his eyes. We were nearly nose to nose, and I couldn't look away. I didn't know if I wanted to look away. Oh, God, why did I have to act this way? Why couldn't I just be normal?
"Bella, I'm falling in love with you," he whispered. "Please don't do this." I squeezed my eyes shut against the tears that threatened to well up at his words.
Why did he have to go and say it? I knew how he felt, but as long as he didn't voice it I could ignore it. While I think I felt the same about him, I wasn't good enough. I wasn't normal, and I never would be. I could never be a wife and mother; I would always be the drunk that someone had to watch out for. The family member that everyone whispered about and not-so-secretly pitied. I needed to spare him the pain and make a clean break. It would be better for him that way. The last thing I wanted was to hurt him.
"You can't love me," I said, trying to make my voice as emotionless as possible. "Get out." I jerked my head out of his hands and threw my shoulder into his chest. He didn't budge. I hated being weak. Physically, emotionally, it didn't matter; I was weak on all fronts. I couldn't control the unnatural urges for alcohol, and I could never hope to overcome Edward in physical strength.
"Dammit, Bella! Don't tell me what I feel!" he said forcefully. "I think you're it for me! Don't fucking throw this away!"
"Don't waste your time, Edward. You'll be much better off without me." I bit the inside of my cheek to stave off any sign of emotion. The truck started with a rumble as I cranked the ignition. I double pumped the clutch and hit the gas, hoping the moving car would spur Edward to move out of the way. He stumbled backwards and I slammed the door, driving away as fast as I could, leaving the medallion and my love in the parking lot. It was fitting. I didn't deserve either one.
*****
Twenty minutes later I sat in a trendy bar in downtown Seattle, the familiar setup in front of me. The absinthe spoon rested squarely on top of the wide glass and the sugar cube was positioned perfectly over the holes. The little carafe of iced water sat directly to the side. I sat back against the leather backed booth, my arms crossed, staring at the glass in front of me. It was equally my salvation and my downfall. I could taste the bitter sweetness, the licorice essence of the absinthe; I could feel the euphoria of the absinthe intoxication.
With trembling fingers, I picked up the water and trickled it over the sugar cube and watched the drops hit the bright, clear green of the absinthe. The color that reminded me of the lightest flecks of green in Edward's eyes.
As I watched the water ripple the surface of the liquor and slowly spread outward, I was reminded of the first night I met him. That night, the spreading cloudiness of La Louche made me think of the cloudiness of my soul, the thickening wall that separated me from the rest of the world. Tonight, it reminded me of my feelings for Edward and how they'd begun at the surface. How those feelings had coated my skin and seeped inside, until they were interwoven with every part of me.
It didn't matter now. I'd ruined it, just like everything else I came in contact with.
The glass was opaque and shone with the slightest hint of green; I picked up the glass and inhaled through my nose, registering the astringent burn of the alcohol and the sweet tang of licorice. Excitement and trepidation battled in my gut. My brain told me to run as far away as I could get, as fast as I could. My body craved it. It was so close… my muscles screamed for the relaxation it would bring, my mouth watering at the aroma that perfumed the air, as the essential oils in the absinthe were amplified by the water.
I took a deep breath and parted my lips, setting the rim of the glass to my mouth.
*****
A/N: Oooh, that song title fooled you guys, didn't it? Do you hate me? Come on, you all knew things just couldn't go smoothly with these two.
So let me know what you thought. You all know I love reviews by now.
Now for a fic rec while I pound out the next chapter:
Before Her Last Breath by PerfectlyPersuasive
When they move back to Forks, Edward decides to follow in Carlisle's footsteps and become a doctor. As he becomes more and more frustrated with his monotonous life, Bella is admitted with a serious illness. Will he be able to resist? AU/EPOV
It's AU, vamp Edward. She does a really wonderful EPOV. It really captures the essence of the loneliness he experienced in the years before he met Bella. If you're an EPOV lover, you'll like this.
http://www(DOT)fanfiction(DOT)net/s/5044318/1/Before_Her_Last_Breath
Nominations are open for the Summer Bellies. Go nominate your favorite fics!
http://www(dot)thecatt(dot)