Note: I forgot to mention it in the last chapter, but Keilan and Logan's confrontation was supposed to take place 2 days after Kili and Fili's conversation.
So, 2 days after Fili and Kili talked and a few hours later...
"Keilan, don't be a fool!"
His brother's words were unheeded as Keilan wheeled Torvin around, the screaming horse stomping its hooves around the Dwarves who scrambled out of the way. The burliest of the five, a balding, tattooed Dwarf who appeared to be the leader, grabbed Torvin's reins and held the stallion in place with surprising strength given his short stature.
"I will not be led in as a prisoner, Logan!"
His eyes flashing with vehemence, Keilan loosened his foot from the stirrup and viciously kicked out at the Dwarf's face. His boot was caught in an unrelenting grip, and for a moment he felt a glimmer of fear as he glimpsed in those eyes a fury surpassing his own. In a burst of panic Keilan wrenched his leg free, twisting off Torvin's saddle and tumbling to the ground. Before the Dwarves could close off his escape route he rolled to his feet, slapping the horse's side so that it reared up in confused pain and gave him a few crucial seconds to slip away from the throng.
Keilan did not wait long enough to gather his bearings or ensure the enemy was not following. He ran into the line of trees bordering the road, slipping into the darkness with the urgent stealth of a wolf fleeing the hunter. Logan was shouting his brother's name, looking frantically for Keilan even as he tried to rein his own horse under control.
More prominent in Keilan's mind was the pursuit of the Dwarves. Their tread was silent and deadly, their war cries ceasing as they sought to catch him unawares. They were swift on foot and knew the terrain, and on their own territory they stood a good chance of tracking down their quarry. Keilan was travelling lighter, however, and he had the advantage of endurance. He had hunted prey and predator alike, and although Jag no longer streaked alongside him, prepared to rip the throats out of their pursuers if necessary, Keilan knew how to conceal himself in the shadows and remain motionless until his presence was little more than a memory carried on the breeze. Immobile; invisible invulnerable; the falcon poised in silent grace to strike its prey from behind.
All he had to do now was wait for nightfall to catch the enemy unaware.
Not for many years had Thorin run with such urgency. There was no time to reply to the gawking onlookers he shoved past, nor mutter an apology to the vendor whose cart was overturned. Haste was imperative; there was no moment for delay.
Dis whirled in surprise when Thorin barged into the house, the door slamming behind him with enough force to knock her mug onto the floor. The shattering of pottery was like a thunderclap in the silence and Dis' eyebrows narrowed in baffled frustration at her brother's wild entrance.
"Thorin, what in Durin's name is going on?"
"Where are the boys?" Thorin did not wait for an answer, striding down the hall and inspecting every room. He swore explosively upon finding no sign of Fili or Kili.
"They both needed to get out of the house for a while. I gave them permission to head down to the training grounds earlier this morning," Dis replied, following after Thorin with no small amount of concern. "What is it, Thorin?"
"When did they leave?" Thorin rallied in response. He looped an axe in his belt and plucked up a hammer, wasting no further time than necessary to prepare.
"Thorin!" Dis caught his arm and wheeled him around, demanding crisply, "What. Is. Going. On?"
Thorin hesitated and released a slow breath, uncertain how much he should reveal to his sister. "We found the one responsible," he finally relented.
Dis sucked in a sharp breath, knowing instantly of whom Thorin spoke. "Did you...?"
"He evaded our grasp," Thorin rumbled, his anger held in check only for the dire situation before them. "Search parties are combing the forest as we speak."
Dis eyes flashed with understanding. "You think he is he has come to finish what he started."
The chilling blue fire in Thorin's gaze was answer enough. Dis' expression hardened and as Thorin turned away she darted to the side and grabbed a knife from the table. "Wait. I am going with you."
Thorin did not argue the point, giving his sister a sharp nod and leading the way out the door. His stride was measured and forceful and his blood boiled within his veins until his knuckles turned white from the fierce grip on his hammer. Should this Keilan dare to harm his nephews again, he would not live long enough to beg for mercy.
For hours Fili and Kili languidly passed the day. They clambered over rock walls and scrambled to escape when the owners of the property shouted after them for intruding, raced one another whenever Kili was seized by the desire to run freely after weeks of being cooped indoors, and spent the greater part of the time meandered through fields and small copses of trees, enjoying the peace and stillness of another day neither had expected to see.
Kili tired easily and they frequently stopped to rest, passing the time with light conversation or merely sitting and relishing the quiet. The matter of Keilan was never brought up, and yet it was ever foremost on Fili and Kili's minds. The concerns of the future brought a grim pallor to a morning that should have cheerful and carefree, but the relief of having his brother alive and whole at his side overshadowed his disappointment and Fili strove to enjoy the day.
It was not until mid-afternoon when they reached the archery training grounds as planned. Kili immediately flopped against a tree and closed his eyes, sighing in content and leaning his head back as though to prepare for an impromptu nap. Fili snorted lightly and rolled his eyes. He had vowed he would do anything Kili wanted on this day, but whittling a twig while waiting for his brother to wake up just in time to return home was not going to be permitted on that list.
"Kili," Fili called softly, casting his brother a dark look when Kili blew his bangs out of his face and refused to answer. The answer was clearly a 'Shut up and let me sleep,' but Fili was in no mood to placate his brother on this request.
"Enough lazying around," he teased, dropping a wrapped bundle onto Kili's lap. "You haven't even opened your present yet."
Kili peeked one eye open and examined the oilcloth parcel, his exhaustion vanishing as the gleam of curiosity lit his expression. He looked up to his brother with surprise and Fili grinned in return.
"Happy Birthday, Kili," he announced.
Kili flinched and a shadow passed over his face. He fingered the string securing the package and let it slip through his grasp, his gaze darkened with something that Fili could not read. Fili's heart fell and he slumped in disappointment. So long he had worked on the bow, envisioning the moment it was revealed, and now Kili would not even accept the gift. What had gone wrong, that his brother should be so upset?
"Of course," Fili relented as he swallowed with difficulty, "If you do not - "
"You actually remembered," Kili whispered. He traced his finger over the leather ties, a trace of a morose smile flitting across his expression.
Fili started, both confused and concerned by his brother's response. Kili had heard why he had been absent the morning of his birthday; Fili had passed on his tale soon after his brother was able to stay awake long enough to comprehend it. Had Kili still upheld the belief that he had intentionally forgotten him?
"I ... I didn't think it would matter anymore, after ... after what happened," Kili broached with a forced smile. "I thought everyone had moved on."
Fili's expression softened and he settled down beside his brother, meeting Kili's gaze with earnest compassion. "Do you really believe I would allow myself to forget you again - after everything that happened to us? Do you think that little of yourself, Kili?"
"It's not that," Kili hastily insisted. "I only thought that ... well, with the search for Keilan and both of us nearly dying... I figured it had slipped everyone's mind." He shrugged with false bravado and excused lightly, "There was too much at stake to make a fuss over the matter. I had moved on myself, in fact."
Fili slung an arm over his brother's shoulder and drew him into a one-sided hug. He shook his head in wonder at how little Kili anticipated from his family, when he seemed to expect no less than perfection from himself in return.
"Do you know how furious Mother was when she thought we had neglected your birthday again?" Fili thought back to that morning and smirked as he rubbed his ear in painful remembrance "I thought she would come close to murdering Uncle Thorin for being so late; it was that important to her that you were not forgotten."
Kili fiddled with the rawhide ties on his present and did not speak, but Fili could tell he was listening intently.
"The only reason Thorin is so caught up with the matter of Keilan is because of what happened to you on that day," Fili insisted. "We all wanted it to be special, and that made the blow twice as hard when you were hurt."
"You were, too," Kili broke in at once, his gaze reproachful as though he was annoyed that Fili was leaving his own injuries out of the story.
Fili nodded to appease his brother and concluded, "Which is why Thorin has not allowed the matter of the ambush to rest. None of us have forgotten you, Kili." With a sheepish grin Fili added, "In fact, as soon as this is over Mother intends to give you a surprise party to make up for it all. I was not supposed to tell you that so ... act surprised when it happens, all right?"
Kili ducked his head and chuckled, his eyes lit with the wonder of one who had expected nothing and was instead given a kingdom. "I never begrudged any of you," he swore with honest fervency. "It was never your fault for ... for what they did."
"I know," Fili answered with a somber nod. "But at least allow me to settle my own conscience, Kili. I wanted to ensure that day was memorable for you in a better way than it turned out. Even if you have moved on, I have been unable to. Now that I have a second chance, well ..." Fili sighed and gave up, unable to form the eloquent apology he felt his brother deserved. "At least open the present, will you?"
Glancing up with a twinkle in his eyes Kili questioned impishly, "Do I have to guess what it is first, or do I just rip it open and try not to break anything?"
"Just open it, you twit," Fili rolled his eyes, batting his palm against the base of Kili's skull. He knit his fingers behind his head and leaned back against the tree, tapping his foot somewhat nervously as he waited for his brother's reaction.
With eager haste Kili rapidly unknotted the ties holding the bundle together, tossing the rawhide string haphazardly to the side and flipping back the cloth holding the parcel together. He let out a soft breath of exclamation upon seeing the finished bow, running his finger over the grooves in the center and lifting it reverently to test the draw.
"Made it myself," Fili announced, grinning from ear to ear as he witnessed Kili's delight. He had copied the design of the bow from the one he had originally first purchased, changing the carvings in the center to the symbol his brother had inherited as a prince of the line of Durin.
It was a magnificent piece, and Fili allowed himself a minute to inwardly boast. As he watched Kili examine it with professional critique, approving and praising the graceful weapon, Fili was at last granted the peace of mind he had sought since the tragedy dealt on his brother's birthday. For this moment at least, all was right with the world.
"A pity you will have no chance to use it."
Kili drew in a startled breath and Fili whirled on his heels as a tall figure stepped from the underbrush. Both brothers scrambled to their feet, eliciting a dark chuckle from the Man wreathed in shadow. His drawn bow wavered between the two Dwarves, a jagged, polished arrow gleaming in the sunlight as the hunter determined his trophy.
"I must say, when dear brother dragged me here to apologize to you worthless scum, I never envisioned I would have an opportunity as brilliant as this." Keilan sneered coldly, eyeing his prey with calculative triumph.
Shields of bronze clashed with fiery sheets of ice and Fili stepped closer to his brother as he glowered at the enemy. "What is it you want?"
Unadulterated hate flashed across Keilan's expression before he announced chillingly, "You murdered the closest thing I had to a little brother. I am only returning the favor. Now, then: I have one arrow, and there are two of you. You can stand there like a good little corpse and let me shoot you, or you can have the half-breed go first and take your chance to escape with your life."
Fili snarled at the Man's derisive taunts. He might have attacked in spite of the promise of sure death had not Kili grabbed his arm and yanked him back a pace.
"You will not harm him!" Kili spat, darting forward to stand a little ways in front of his brother. Fili scowled at his show of daring bravado and moved to take the lead once more. If anyone was to die this day, it would not be his little brother.
Keilan shrugged callously and responded, "It matter little to me which of you dies, but make up your mind quickly; I lost my horse further up the trail and I would like to be able to find him again before dark."
His flinty gaze shifted between the brothers. "However... seeing as you appear to have the same foolish belief that you can prevent the other's unfortunate demise, I suppose it matters little which I shoot first."
Fili tensed at his brother's side, placing one hand protectively in front of Kili and passing him a sharp glare as though to say, If it is to be one of us, you will not sacrifice yourself for me.
Kili set his jaw and straightened his shoulders, determination glowing in his eyes like the embers of a forest fire as he deliberately looked away. Keilan sighed in exasperation and rolled his eyes.
"Really, are you two so stupidly devoted to one another that this should be a painstaking decision, or do you merely seek to waste my time?" The sunlight drew patterns of shadow across Keilan's face as his eyes narrowed in resolution. "Fine. I shall decide for you, but your blood be upon your own head." His voice rose to the shout, the sorrow and loathing birthed of tragedy ringing clear in his proclamation, "The murderer shall die first."
The gleaming tip of the arrow flashed in Fili's direction and for a moment he saw the years flit before his eyes. In that brief instant he experienced two sole thoughts; regret for what he was about to lose, and relief that at least now Kili might have the slimmest chanceto survive.
Suddenly a heavy weight collided with him and Fili was thrown to the side. He collapsed in a tangle of limbs, the breath whooshing from him in a rush just before his head struck a flat stone. For a moment the world pinwheeled into darkness, etching back into startling clarity just as Kili landed on top of him with a muffled grunt.
Before Fili could move his brother launched himself towards Keilan, an inarticulate yell of rage evoked from him as he knocked the hunter off balance and dragged him to the ground. Keilan whipped his bow across Kili's face, a red welt blossoming instantly as the Dwarf's head snapped back. Oblivious to all pain in the state of his rage, Kili slammed his fists into his tormentor's face, the rapid spat! spat! spat! of his blows accompanied by Keilan's shout of aggravation as he struggled to hold off the small yet fiercesome opponent while scrambling for a weapon at the same time.
Unable to reach his knife, Keilan threw up one arm to deflect Kili's punches and slammed his forehead against the Dwarf's. Had he known of Dwarven greetings he would have realized such a blow would only injure himself. Kili was unfazed by the attack, yelling a series of curses in Khuzdul as he grappled with the one who had tried to kill his brother. Keilan slammed the heel of his palm against Kili's ear and rolled away as the Dwarf went sprawling. Instantly he drew his knife and dove to his knees to finish the job.
Kili lashed both hands out and grabbed Keilan's wrist, his eyes never wavering from the descending blade as he held back Keilan's attack with alarming strength. Frustrated that his prey was proving so tedious to destroy, Keilan slammed his free hand into the Dwarf's stomach and kicked out at the same time to block the scrabbling boots which bruised his legs and torso.
Fili could barely discern which fighter was which, such was the animalistic frenzy of the scuffle. Kili was a blur of kicks and punches, aiming to destroy the enemy by any means possible. Keilan's movements were calculated and deadly, his lithe agility matching his opponent's superior strength and evening the odds in both their favor. The only matter which decided the course of the battle was the glittering blade of Keilan's knife. As soon as he saw his opening Fili stumbled to his feet and grasped the rock which had nearly catapulted him into oblivion. The forest whirled in a kaleidoscope of green, threatening to spill Fili back into the welcome embrace of the earth as he staggering forward to assist his brother.
Kili was weakening, his arms trembling from exertion as blood streamed from his nose and the corner of his mouth where Keilan had managed to land a blow. In turn Keilan had been forced to abandon his aimed strikes, both hands proving necessary to prevent the Dwarf from turning the jagged blade on its owner. Slowly but surely Kili's grip was failing him, however, and his face was bleached whiter than ash as sweat trickled down his brow and he gasped for breath. Keilan's grin widened and he raised his fist to finish the job, only to whirl to his feet as he glimpsed Fili descending upon him.
Instantly Kili rolled to his side and curled into himself, wrapping his arms tightly around his stomach. His face was drawn with exertion and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, panting for air that would not come. Nonetheless he managed a faint kick at Keilan's ankles, tripping him up just enough that the hunter's kick went wide and brushed Fili's braids instead of slamming into his jaw as was intended.
Fili's aim was true and the rock flew from his hand and slammed into Keilan's eye. An anguished howl was torn from the hunter as he instinctively slapped his hands over the injury. For an instant Fili glimpsed the same bloodlust of the black hound reflected in Keilan's gaze, before the hunter scooped up his saw-bladed knife and swept it underhand to drive under the line of Fili's jaw and deep into his throat.
Fili barely drew his head back in time, the sharp blade gashing his chin and grazing the tip of his nose. The bruises already forming around Keilan's brow gave him a rabid appearance as he brought the knife around for a killing strike.
"Keilan! Keilan, no!"
Galloping of hooves thundered into the clearing as a dark haired young man rode into the clearing, his eyes wide with horror as he leaped smoothly from the horse's back. Keilan did not even flinch at the distraction and Fili was forced to dodge to the side and fling out one arm to block the flashing blade. Blood streamed from his wrist as he deflected the knife from plunging into his side. Biting back a wince Fili jammed his elbow into Keilan's nose, smashing the cartilage like dried tinder. Then the trees spiraled in a wave of vertigo and the ground tilted towards him even as Fili staggered to maintain his footing.
"Keilan!"
The young hunter swiped blood from his mouth with the back of his hand, snarling in detest as he brought his leg around and clipped Fili's brow. His dark haired companion ran up behind him and grabbed Keilan's arm, yelping when the hunter lashed out as though possessed and sliced his hand. Grey dots swarmed Fili's vision as Keilan dropped to his knees and dragged the Dwarf back by his ankle, hissing vile curses as he raised his knife to finish the job.
With a look of petrified terror in his stricken blue eyes the other Man grabbed the rock Fili had thrown, hesitating for only one agonizing moment before slamming it into the back of Keilan's head. For an instant Keilan froze, his gaze confused and bewildered with shock, before his eyes rolled back in his head and he slumped to the ground before the one he had attempted to destroy.
Fili drew heaving gasps of breath, dazed to realize he was still alive. Darkness clouded his sight and he fought it back, stumbling to his hands and knees as he searched for his brother.
"K-Kili? Kili!" As the haze cleared from his vision Fili spotted his brother's crumpled form.
Suddenly he could no longer breathe.
No, no, not again. Not like this. It cannot be ... Only a dream ... Not now, not when he was just beginning to heal!
"Kili!" Crawling to his brother's side Fili collapsed beside him, gently lifting Kili's limp body into his arms. Kili was breathing shallowly, blood trickling from the corner of his mouth and streaming in a line of crimson down his cheek. Fili cried out when his brother's head lolled against his arm, shaking him fervently and shouting his name.
"Kili!" No, don't do this to me again! You're all right! You're all right, do you understand? You're not dying this time! Not when ..." A wave of anger encompassed his fear. He grasped his brother's shoulders and shook him roughly, choking out in fury, "You are not dying! Do you understand? Not when I have just gotten you back, Kili! I will not lose you again!"
A strangled keen was torn from his brother and Kili's expression twisted in agony. He tried to draw his knees up to his body and cried out weakly, dark blood spreading in a widening pool around his torso. Fili's gaze was drawn inescapably to the wound. A fist may well have sunk into his chest and crushed his heart, for he knew the sight would be etched into his memory for eternity.
A single arrow had plunged deeply into his little brother's chest. The shaft had been broken away during the struggle with Keilan, the remainder buried further into Kili's stomach until there was no chance of digging it free. Fili groaned in despair, horror suffocating him in a wave of nausea as he recalled each individual second when Keilan unleashed the arrow and Kili pushed him out of the way.
"Why, Kili?"
With a faint moan Kili forced his eyes open a crack, coughing wetly and letting his head fall back against Fili's shoulder. Fili wrapped his arms tighter around his brother, protecting him from an evil which he had already failed to prevent.
"W-as g'nn... kill you," Kili stuttered breathlessly. The light was already fading in his eyes and Fili shook his head in refusal.
"Kili ... stay with me, Kili!"
Kili shuddered as a wave of pain coursed through him, his face drawn in anguish as he cried out, "F-Fi-l-li!"
His right hand clawed at the intrusion tearing apart his insides and Fili grasped his brother's hand and held him tightly through the spasm, tears mingling with the blood slicking his hands as he realized his little brother was slowly dying in his arms.
"It-It will be all right," he choked, swallowing with difficulty and forcing a smile of encouragement. The smile dropped into a grimace and Fili whimpered in the back of his throat, pleading silently as mist clouded the bright obsidian of Kili's eyes. Please, Aulë, not him. Not my baby brother. Take me if one must die today, but spare Kili!
"F-ee...?" Kili whispered, his breathing so shallow it was almost indiscernable now. "D-dy-ing...?"
"No," Fili insisted fervently, clenching his brother's hand in his grip. "You're not going to die, Kili. Thorin will find us ... he can fetch Oin. Just hold on a little longer!"
Weakly Kili squeezed his hand back, blinking slowly and squinting as though his vision had begun to fade. "Y-you... 'kay?"
"I'm fine!" Fili exclaimed, desperately listening for the sound of Thorin crashing through the forest to appear at the last moment and save them all. "Stay with me, Kili!"
"K-keep Mum... s-stay..." Another spasm rippled through Kili and his shoulders arched, his eyes wrenched with torment as he begged, "Sta-ay?"
The realization of what his brother was asking smote Fili like a physical blow. Stay. Don't follow after me. Keep Mum safe. Don't ever leave her.
"I ... I promise," he vowed through a shimmering curtain of tears. Even if it I can never live again without you by my side, she will not be left alone.
The briefest smile twitched at the corner of Kili's mouth and for a fleeting second Fili glimpsed the impish cheek his brother was so well known for. Breathlessly Kili lisped, "L... love y'..."
Fili could not answer, his heart tearing in two as he saw the light dimming in his brother's eyes. "Kili..."
Like a candle snuffed out in a breeze the flame of his brother's eyes was slowly diminished until it winked out altogether. Suddenly Fili could feel nothing, a numbing horror grasping his soul in a prison cell of muted agony. Should the gates be unlocked Fili knew there would be no chasm in Middle Earth deep enough to measure his pain.
With a soft cry Fili pulled Kili close and pillowed his brother's head against his shoulder, tears running freely down his cheeks in a terrible mirror of that night when he found his brother barely alive on the washed out road. Gently he kissed the top of Kili's head, closing his brother's eyes and stroking back the tattered remains of his clipped hair as though to assure Kili that the enemy was vanquished and no one would ever have reason to torment him again. Fili knew deep down that no one would harm his brother now, for Aulë kept his children with far greater security than he could ever have hoped to offer. Kili's life was no longer his to protect, and the thought tore Fili's heart into a thousand irreparable shards.
"Keilan... Keilan, please ... I - I didn't ..." The other Man's wretched voice broke through Fili's own pain and he raised his eyes to see the dark clad stranger kneeling beside the still, wide-eyed corpse of Kili's murderer.
A tender, broken smile creased the other's face as he brushed Keilan's bangs away from his forehead, flexing his hands as though afraid to touch the still-warm body.
"I ... I didn't mean to," he whispered dejectedly, shaking his head with a stricken, bitter smile as though the scene before him was no more than a traumatic dream. "It was an accident!"
With a hoarse croak the Man dropped the blood streaked stone he had not realized was still in his hand. He raked his finger through his hair, backing away from the corpse and shaking his head fervently in disbelief. "It was an accident!" he repeated in near hysterics.
He stumbled to fall back against a tree and sank to the ground, raising his hand to his face and staring for a moment at the blood streaked across his palm. He clenched his hand into a fist and pressed it against his forehead, his eyes welded tightly shut and his jaw clenched. His shoulders trembling violently as he rocked back and forth, and Fili knew it was no mere acquaintance who had died this day.
"Your brother?" he questioned raggedly.
With an effort of will the stranger lifted his head, gasping in each breath as though he was drowning and knew not whether he would ever surface from this terrible sea he had been cast into. With the eerie calm of one who realizes they have lost all they had to live for by the stroke of their own hand, he posed, "Do you know ... how much I would have given ... if but for one moment I could know my brother cared for me with a fraction of the devotion your brother showed for you at the last?"
He shook his head, trapped in the plummeting waves of a tragedy he could not fathom. "I never understood him," he whispered. "I never ... never understood."
Fili had no comfort to offer, for there was none even for himself. Kili was dead. Nothing would ever bring him back; not Thorin, nor Oin; not even a wizard could reverse the deed which had been done.
His little brother was gone.
A sharp scream of denial shattered his thoughts and Fili looked up to see Dis running towards him. Thorin was right on her heels, failing to pull her back in time in order to warn her of what was ahead. Falling to her knees, Dis pushed Fili's hands away and gathered her youngest into her arms. Tenderly she stroked Kili's hair back, softly calling his name as raindrops of crystal streaked through the blood marring his face.
Thorin placed a hand on Dis' shoulder in comfort and she yelled and slapped him away. Her eyes were deadened like the cold ashes of a fire extinguished by the rain, and her voice quavered with the broken lilt of a child's lullaby as a piece of her world was taken from her. Fili buried his head in his hands, unable to bear the melancholy notes.
The wind swirled through the trees with song of liberty, and he could imagine that Kili's spirit matched its freedom with equal joy. No thought of Kili's happiness where he was could erase the knifing sorrow in Fili's own heart, however. His life had been given back to him at a cost too high, with the sacrifice of one too precious for him to ever be considered worthy of the exchange.
His brother was lost to him forever. For the first time in his life, Fili was truly alone.
15 years later...
The sun shone with dazzling magnificence upon the grass knoll, the warbling of birds accompanying the whisper of mystery carried on the rushing of the wind. The morning was peaceful and tranquil, with an aura of suspense as though all of creation listened with baited breath for the sound of laughter and voices which would never ring through the forest again.
It was only right that the sun should cascade in all its brilliance on this one day, after weeks of cloudbursts had driven away the thoughts of spring and cheerfulness from those who waited and endured. It was a small consolation for Fili, as he quietly sat carving a shaped block of cedar, that the weather at least would favor his brother on this one day that was most important of all.
The stone marker below the elm tree was not the tomb Thorin had envisioned for the resting place of his nephew. Such an architecture of remembrance would certainly have been prepared with a score of willing hearts had he but given the command, but Fili would not allow his brother to lie alone in the cold, pitch blackness of the mountains. Kili needed the sunlight and the freedom of the wind as desperately as he had once needed air to breathe, and Fili could not bear the thought of imprisoning him in a timeless, suffocating tomb.
The meadow overlooked their town was his chosen designation. It was quiet and restful, bordering an excellent viewpoint from which Fili could see home. Kili hated not knowing what was going on. Fili was certain his brother would have wanted this place himself, where he could look down and watch them all go about their business, assuring himself that his family was safe and well in his absence.
"Mother will be here later," Fili spoke softly, eyeing his carving with a critical air. "She never forgets; you know that. She meant to be here earlier, but ..." He smiled apologetically, the light of humor quenched in his gaze. "Well, Uncle has been holding council as of late, and she had a few words for him this morning."
Cedar shavings drifted to the grass, flitting across the meadow on the whim of the breeze. Hesitantly Fili broached the subject he had put off with whimsical conversation bits until now. "Thorin believes that now may be the time to reclaim Erabor. He says that if the signs have been interpreted correctly, then he and all who will follow after him must leave without delay. He ... he asked if I would be willing to accompany him."
Fili breathed deeply and tilted his head back with a ragged sigh. "I wish you were here, Kili; you would be ready to leap at a chance to go and prove yourself. I know nothing could have forced you to remain behind ..."
Wishes were futile and pointless in this life, but although his pleas would never return his brother it did not hinder Fili from voicing them. He sighed for the emptiness which had swallowed him fifteen years before and never been erased. Shaving a last blemish of wood from the head of the eagle, he blew the slivers away and set it beside its partner, a lone wolf mournfully seeking the pack which had left it behind.
Every year without fail, Fili had spent Kili's birthday sitting close by, braving every manner of weather as he crafted a new animal to leave at his brother's tombstone. When the first three carvings had disappeared he had been panicked and angered that someone had dared violate his brother's grave. By the fourth year Fili realized there was a manner of solace in the mysterious vanishings. He never found the real culprit and he never wished to, for in his mind's eye he could watch his kid brother running across the fields, his tangled mop of hair streaming behind him as he shouted,
"Fiwi! Fiwi, I foun' anothah one!"
Fourteen carvings Fili had left behind in the years before. Tears sparked his eyes as he imagined Kili parading the animals across the windowsill, his large eyes wide in wonder as he tilted his head and interpreted his own unspoken story.
Sniffing hard Fili wiped his sleeve across his eyes, a wistful glint in his eyes as he carefully arranged the wolf and the eagle on Kili's tombstone.
"One is for this birthday," he explained, indicating the eagle and then pointing out the wolf, "And the other is for next year. Just in case the quest keeps me away longer than expected."
Fili winced as a lancing pain gripped his heart and he added, "You understand, don't you? I have to go with Thorin. Erabor is our home - or, what should have been our home ... It's up to me as the Heir of Durin to get it back. I promise I will return as soon as it is over. I'll keep up my carvings while I am away ... as many as I can. You might have your own personal army in no time."
Yes, an army of rabbits and mice and lions and majestic eagles, all at his kid brother's beck and call. He could almost see the picture clearly; little Kili tramping through the fields with a determined, sullen gleam in his coal dark eyes, as though to ask if it was not perfectly normal for every hare, fox and bird of prey to follow after him like Durin the Deathless, ruler of the animal kingdom.
The thought was too much for Fili and he rose shakily to his feet, wiping his eyes and biting back the emotions that threatened to bury him alive.
"I promise, I'll tell you all about Erabor when I return," he assured. "I care little about the gold... I do not think any of it would matter to you, either, but it will be a good story to pass on to the little ones, don't you think? Perhaps... one day ... when this is all over, my own name will be passed down in the legends ... just like yours."
The sun broke over the horizon in a breathtaking curtain of gold, and for an instant all the meadow was hushed as the horizon payed homage to the remaining Heir of the Line of Durin.
Fili stood with his back to the sun, his shadow cast behind him like a towering warrior in the red tide of battle. By some trick of the light he almost thought he glimpsed a second shadow beside his own, a ragmop of tangled hair shifting in the wind as two inseparable brothers faced the darkness of their unknown future as one. On the ghost of the wind he heard his brother's laughter, and Fili blinked back tears as a genuine, tender smile broke through fifteen years of sorrow that weighed down upon his heart.
It was Kili's birthday today, and for this one, fleeting moment, Fili was no longer alone.
So close your eyes until tomorrow,
Childhood dreams are always new.
And if you are there I'll follow,
And believe that my whole life is you...
- Transiberian Orchestra, Time You Should Be Sleeping
Due to the number of reviewers who initially halted at this point, I feel obliged to mention, Read Chapter 12 Before Making Any Assumptions.
Thank you. ;)