Summary: Children follow their own rules, the ones created through the innocence of youth. Will it help or harm Estel and Legolas?
Disclaimer: I do not own them for they would be covered in drool.
A/N: This fic is AU, not canon.
Chapter 11
Elladan sat in silence at the table. He and Elrohir had been eating alone now for two days, as their father refused meals, saying he was not hungry. Elladan knew it was because he yearned to see Estel.
"Is Ada coming down today?" Elrohir said, scooting the food around on his plate.
"Nay, he is locked in his room again. Glorfindel tried to get him to come out, but Ada would not even answer the door."
Elladan heard rather than noticed Elrohir's sniffle.
"Nothing is the same any longer. I miss Estel, Ada never speaks, and I heard Erestor weeping last night when I passed his door."
Elladan did not answer Elrohir and, when the sullen elf looked up, he saw tears streaming down his brother's face.
"Dan! What is wrong?" he said racing to his brother's side and leaning down next to his chair.
"It is Estel; I cannot accept that he is gone. We found no body, no proof. I can't let him go until I know, Ro. I just can't."
Elrohir wrapped his arms around the now-sobbing Elladan. He felt the same way, but in his heart he thought the small adan gone. Neither of them knew the elf upstairs also blamed himself. As they sat comforting each other, another elf sat alone, tears falling unchecked from his eyes -- a sight not seen in over three hundred years.
Erestor was always the most stoic person the twins knew. He did not flinch at the tedious hours of paperwork often given to him; he actually relished it. He was strict when it came to his duties, and he did not give an inch when it came to catching the twins when they were out of bed at night, but Estel had been different.
Estel, however, was different. His mind was filled with endless questions, and yet he adored learning everything Erestor taught him. He would sit for hours on end listening to the tales of the First Age. He even would ask for Erestor to tell him stories about his own childhood. Erestor had often been the one to chase away elflings that picked on Estel, telling them the adan had more character and heart than all of them put together.
When Elladan had asked Erestor to teach Estel to swim, Erestor had done it gladly. Estel was quick to learn the basics and, after learning them, spent the rest of the afternoon trying to dunk Erestor underneath the water. Erestor had scolded Estel for getting his hair drenching wet, but as soon as Estel had turned away, Erestor had dunked him.
Erestor sat holding one of Estel's handwriting sheets. He blamed himself. If he hadn't taught Estel to swim, then Lord Elrond would not have let the child go. How could he ever forgive himself for taking the one spark of light out of Imladris? His tears started up again, soaking the hem of the cloak. Erestor was not the only one crying, though.
Down the hall sat an elf older than any in the household. Elrond knew grief -- the grief of his brother choosing a mortal life and then seeing him die, as mortal men do; the Last Alliance, where many of his friends, men and elves alike died, fighting side by side with him, their bodies littering the battlefield; even his wife Celebrian was gone. True, she was waiting for him in Valinor, but it had been far too many years since last he gazed upon her beauty.
Elrond's only comfort was his sons and Arwen. His daughter had departed the Valley long ago, her heart broken when her mother left. She visited now and then, but it was not the same. The twins: Elrond loved more than his own life, but they were no longer elflings, and did not need him doting over them.
Estel, however, had grasped his hand the very first night he laid eyes on him. He ran to him in the middle of the night when storms or dreams frightened him, and he was the ray of light in Elrond's eyes. For days on end Elrond had sat in his room, remembering the little boy who lifted his heart from the darkness it had dwelled in before.
Deciding within himself, Elrond stood and exited his room. He walked past the twins' room and stopped at Erestor's. He knocked and went in, not waiting for a response. He did not stop until he reached the doors to the dining hall. Once there, he stopped and waited until he heard the footsteps of Erestor coming up behind him. He did not speak, not even at the worried look from his friend; he opened the doors and walked in.
"Ada! It is good to see you up," Elrohir said, running to his father and engulfing him in a hug.
Elrond returned the warm gesture, holding on for a bit longer even after Elrohir had let go. Wrapping his arm around Elrohir's shoulder, he led him to the table and took a seat.
"Ada?" Elladan questioned
Glorfindel, too, rushed into the room as he heard whispers from the servants that Elrond had left his room and wanted to see if they were true. Each of the other four sat waiting for Elrond to speak. He rose and cleared his throat, fighting back the urge to flee the room and stay locked behind his door forever.
"I know you are all wondering what I have to say so I will just come right out and say it. I am leaving Imladris and taking the next ship to the Undying Lands. My heart cannot be mended here. Perhaps the beauty of your mother's face will bring me peace, but here I shall never gain it."
"No, Ada you can't leave!" Elrohir sobbed.
"I must go, Elrohir. Your brother gave me hope for a better Arda. He is gone, and with him a piece of me is gone also. I can never truly be whole again."
"He's not gone, Ada. Estel will return to you. He will!" Elladan said, standing up, his face paler than normal.
Elrond's face contorted, trying to stem his tears, but they came nonetheless. "You must face it, Elladan; your brother is gone, and he is not coming back."
Elrohir was being comforted by Glorfindel, but Elladan was outraged. "We did not find his body! He is still alive. I won't believe otherwise until I find proof."
Elrond's legs went out from under him, and he found himself sinking to the floor. The thoughts of Estel's little body mangled by the wolves sent shivers through him. It made his stomach lurch, and Elrond broke into choking, gasping sobs.
"I cannot stay. Don't you know I would stay here if I could? The pain is too real, too fresh to bear, but I fear time will make it no easier."
Elladan and Elrohir wept openly. Glorfindel, who had been standing in silence the entire time, finally spoke up. "I have seen you fight Sauron himself and still remain; why now can you not stay, my friend?"
Elrond lifted his head, and the sight of him sobbing brought Glorfindel to his knees beside him.
"I have lived through too much. This is the thing that my heart cannot mend from. My son is gone. I would have left had it been any of my sons. Could you truly go on if it had been your child, my friend?"
Glorfindel could not answer that question; he just sat beside his friend and Lord and offered what comfort he could, until Elrond stood up again. Clearing his throat, he turned to his sons and opened his arms for them to come closer.
"I am leaving, but Arda still needs guidance; elves, a place of refuge, a haven against the evils of Sauron. Will you, Glorfindel, stay, and keep Imladris this place?"
Glorfindel nodded his head in assurance. "I will do as you wish."
Elladan pulled away from his father. "Ada, we can't leave Middle Earth. Who will look for Estel? Who will be here for when he comes home? Ada, I cannot go."
Elrond pleaded with Elladan, "Your brother is gone, Elladan. He is not coming back, no matter how much I pray to the Valar. Will you not come over the sea and see your mother?"
A fresh torrent of tears ran down the elf's face, "Tell Amme I love her and that I will see her soon, but I cannot go and leave Estel. He needs someone; he is so small..."
Elrond knew in his own heart the child was gone, but he could not dash the small hope Elladan had left. "Come to me when your search is over; I will be waiting for you."
That night the House of Elrond wept. They wept for loss, wept for Estel, and wept for Elrond, who would leave on the morrow, forever."
A/N: See you next Thursday!