Jessica was outraged. She swore on her firstborn child that this… this… motel would go up in flames. But first, she had to get outside.
Jessica tried the window, but Pop was no fool. The window was bolted shut, along with the ventilation shaft and toilet. Dangit! It was like the whole world insisted on keeping her locked up forever.
Jessica tried karate-kicking the door, but she just ended up with a stubbed toe. She started bawling, but quickly stopped herself. Jessica's inner immaturity was acting up because of everything stressful that had occurred in the last few days, and she didn't want it ruining her progress. The only way to suppress the urge to have a temper tantrum was to meditate and eat lots of candy, but that might take days. She summoned all of her willpower and took the stance anyway. She had a few suckers in her boot for emergencies, and this was precisely the time.
But before Jessica could unwrap a single lollipop, she heard a loud banging on the front door. She knelt down and put her ear to the floor. Jessica made out something like:
"Dang igits! The C.E.O. has far too many big cheeses to spare!" Definitely Pop. Through her trained ears, she heard Pop take something out of his pocket. So it was The Big Cheeses that were banging on the door. This spelled trouble.
"Hello, Pop Hop! Glad to-"
"Skip your routine lines! This is an emergency!"
"Whatever, Mr. Bossy Pants." It was the teenage beauty queen Clerk Penny. Ordinarily, being a store clerk would be a major social takedown, but Penny claimed the money earned would be to help homeless toons. But based on the fact that every six toons were given an estate, most toons believed that the money really went toward clothes and jewelry.
Jessica heard the click of Trap Doors materializing on the floor. Just in time, too, for the The Big Cheeses broke down the door. One of them, by the sound of its voice it was a twelve, sneered. "Outada way, losers. This building, along with every one like it, is going up in flames."
Good news: If the cheeses succeeded, Jessica would get her wish. Bad news: If the cheeses succeeded, she would die.
But the cheeses failed to distinguish the Trap Doors from the rest of the wooden floor. Jessica recognized from the monotone screams that the twelve, along with every one of his lackeys, went down the set traps. Jessica looked out of the window and saw multiple cog suit parts cascading off of the roof and onto the street. So that was that.
Suddenly, certain parts of the cog suits shot out of the skin and came alive. Part collided with part, rebuilding itself, except that the new cog wasn't a cog at all, it was a skelecog. This was a version v2.0!
"Ooh, this look bad." Penny said as she and Pop walked cautiously outside. "Hate to leave you, but I have my gag shop to attend to. Bubye now!" Penny pulled out her Telehole, and like that, was gone.
"You're coming with us, bub." the v2.0 lv. 12 informed Pop. "Whether you like it or not."
Another one stepped up and complained, "But what about that other toon? Weren't we supposed to get it too?"
"Not until I get another suit."
"But we have direct orders from the-"
"THE SUIT COMES FIRST!!"
"Sir, your oil pressure."
"Right."
As Pop was dragged off, Jessica roared with maddening laughter. It couldn't have happened to anyone more deserving! But she quickly realized this was her II (inner immaturity) acting up, so she quickly covered up her mouth. She tried to think sad, but she was overcome with the giggles. The window was cracked, so she busted herself out and ran off in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
***
After he terminated the link, the C.E.O. rattled off all of the most foul, putrid swear words he knew, found the worst one, and yelled it so loud the room shook. "Curses! That guy'll be the death of me! I'll shove him into a cubicle so tight that he'll…" The C.E.O. chanted like this for a few hours, shouting all of the other swear words and insults in his hard drive. He wasn't in the best mood.
His dinner party was four days away. He was starting to worry if the escaped toon might spread the word of the torture chamber. That would be… unpleasant, to say the least.
The C.E.O, having recovered from his fit of rage, smoothed out his hair and checked his tracking device.
***
"Duh- doy- duh-duh uh wha huh-uh nuh…" Woody managed.
"Oh, real great impression, wise guy." Clancy scoffed
"N-No, look!"
Tightrope took Woody's sticker book away rather forcefully. As Woody picked himself off the ground, he said, "You know, I'm pretty sure it's in all our sticker books…"
Tightrope's eyes widened. "Way no…"
Lucy strained to read over Tightrope's tall shoulder. "What? What does it say?"
"It's not says it what… but is what it!"
"You're not to get any better unless you practice, Tightrope." Clancy and Woody said in unison.
Tightrope threw a glare toward Clancy and Woody and then took out his own sticker book. He opened it to a certain page, and then threw it on the ground. "Is bad this."
"Tightrope, grammar." Clancy reminded.
"Shut it."
"Good."
Lucy got out her own sticker book and opened it to the map page. She paled. "Oh, my lord. This is an atrocity!"
Woody started shaking. He was in shock. The safe haven of Chip and Dale was known far and wide for its color. The Sticker Co. tried to reflect that as best they could. But what could've happened to them? What was going to happen to the rest of Toontown?
Woody fell to his knees. "I have to go undercover. I have no idea what this force is, but it intends to steal my pendant. I have to keep its power safe from harm."
"Jean like in X-men." Tightrope commented.
"Except they failed to control her power, so Wolverine had to kill her before she destroyed the world."
"Gee, that's a pleasant thought." Woody remarked glumly.
Lucy stepped in. "I'll get you changed. You have to have a codename and whatnot. You need to find out what's going on. And remember: The forces you're dealing with have a lot more tricks up their sleeves than you do."
"Oh, it just gets better and better."
"Devilish plots. Diabolical schemes. Powerful weapons of mass destruction. Treachery without honor. Demonic-"
"Lucy, you're not helping!"
"Sorry."
The wielder of the pendant and friends walked down to change into something suitable for dealing with devilish plots, diabolical schemes, powerful weapons of mass destruction, treachery without honor, and demonic somethings.
***
"…It just gets better and better." –Woody Stockings