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Girl & Boy Meet Confrontation

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PREVIOUSLY ON GIRL & BOY MEET CONFRONTATION:

"I feel like I'm on trial!" Lucas Friar.

"Then treat it like a trail, man. Fight fire with fire. She's being unreasonable so you should be unreasonable right back." Conner.

Lucas: How much?

Me: Can't say for sure. I was there for about ten minutes?

Me: Ten minutes sounds about right.

Lucas: Well?

"Maya Hart. I am here to act as an intermediary between conflicted parties. Lucas Friar has requested information, to be discussed momentarily, and prays for your compliance. Will you, Maya Hart, agreed to these terms and oblige to the request?" Conner.

"We both know what he wants." Maya Hart.

"Take this to Lucas Friar." Maya Hart.

"Ask her for permission to approach. See what she does." Lucas Friar.

"Supervised?" Lucas Friar.

"So… You've obviously heard enough to know where I stand, am I right?" Lucas Friar.

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Maya is staring at her feet. I instinctively stare at her feet too. The unnerving silence that is building up second by second is too much to bare simply watching her consider her response…. Which proves to be every bit as disappointing as I would have guessed.

"I know. And I'm bad for knowing." Her voice has significantly more cheer to it than her body language would lead anyone to believe. As I assess this information and try to compose a response I glance over at Conner who has both hands behind his back. I haven't seen him this way in a year. Even if he laughs at the uncomfortable situation I can see now that he's taking it as seriously as I am, and that he feels every bit as concerned as I do. He's truly a best friend.

"Maya, just tell me why you stayed and listened. If you give me nothing else, just give me that." I plead hesitantly. To ask for one thing is a risk, especially if you think you may change your mind. This feels like the important question right now, but later when I'm on my bed moping and groaning about this confrontation I'll be pissed off about not having asked her something else. But every heartbeat in my body is repeating the same question. Why did she stay when she knew she should have left?

"Because I'm a nosy, noser, noserton." Her attempts to distract form the fact that she was just not answering the question was bad, so incredibly bad that I can't even pretend that I don't see how desperately she just wants to say what she means. I suppose this should be good to see because this means that she's tired to fighting herself on the matter.

"That is completely… true, yes that's a true statement, Hart, but… that's not the answer that I…" I don't know when I start walking towards her, but now as I'm trying to finish my sentence and I facing her dead on. She has lifted her chin to meet my gaze. I glance down to her lips and then very slowly drag my focus back to her eyes… which are boring down on me to finish my thought, "…asked for."

She sneers at me and tries to turn away but I gently put my arm out and shake my head at her, "Just tell me the emotional motivation for staying."

"I just like to know things, Friar. I'm always trying to know things. It makes for good blackmail." She replies as plainly and smoothly as any individual possibly could. It's moments like these where I really wish I didn't know how good of a liar she was, it would allow me to accept her words as simply as she spoke them with a smile dressing her face. But I know better.

"Liar." I proclaim. Her body stiffens but I do not fear that she plans to flea our conversation so I drop my arm. I'm actually confident enough that she'll remain behind that I turn away from her and share a silent expression of exasperation with Conner. I take a brief second to appreciate him once more, knowing that his life is not dependent on my ability to work things out with Maya.

"Truth. Not completely truth, but truth." She deflects me. I want to punch a hole the window nearby out of irritation. It's not even at Maya. It's at the way she's been raised. It's at the way that she had to mislead others to cope with her life. It's that she still feels the need to lie to protect herself; it's just dishonesty as a whole. I am beyond aggravated for the moment but I refuse to let her see it, and thankfully she must not notice because she continues, "I did want to know things. In particular? I wanted to know what I had done to upset you so much."

I turn just in time to see her shrugging her shoulders and trying to look everyone in the room but at me. Each step I take nearer to her the harder she tries to not meet my eyes. When I am only inches away I challenge her sweetness with my own bitterness about the whole mess, "Why do you care?"

If it didn't sound like I hiss, then it must sound like a growl. It feels like a hiss or a growl when the words leave my mouth. The whole premise of using this tone of voice is to give a chilling effect, something that might even intimate Maya. This, of course, is a stupid idea because nothing scares her. Nothing weakens, or at least it would not seem that way, because she just looks at me with soft eyes and snarled lips.

"I care because I wasn't trying to get under your skin this time." She declares with a tone of voice that is alarmingly familiar. It's the voice that she used on those nights when I would yell at her about college, and graduation, and the ranch. It's the one that she used to remind me that I think for myself; the one that she used when she comforted Riley through relationship troubles; the one that guided Farkle through his first 'B' and 'C' papers. This was Maya's 'trust me' voice. There could be nothing more vulnerable and trustworthy than this.

I have no words to reply to her, though. At first I lift my arms to embrace her but I decide that this doesn't convey how I feel well enough. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I don't know how I feel anymore. This whole experience is confusing, especially as I start piecing all the times it was just me and Maya hanging out. Silly things like our seventh grade muffin business or our first school dance come back to my mind and…

The way I feel when I remember those things make me angry. It's not like I and pissed off that those moments happened or anything like that. I'm just mad that now I know that those feelings were special. Those feelings were exactly the way I felt right now when I looked at her. And yet somehow I'd gotten wrong. I had been physically attracted to Riley, which developed into a tense friendship. At some point I just sort of pieced the puzzle together and concluded that the strain between Riley and I was because we both wanted more. She had obviously wanted a relationship, and I did, too, at the time. So that's just what we did. It was a good time. Yet now as I reflect I mentally beat my own ass for not seeing sooner that I just pursued the wrong girl.

I cannot change this now. I cannot allow myself to be upset by any of this. Lingering on these sad thoughts will get me absolutely nowhere with Maya right now. Actually, I doubt it will ever get me anywhere with her. We struggle to see eye-to-eye when we're on the same page. It's like we have the same book but we see two different meanings in the words.

"Well you know why now, don't you, Maya?" The sigh jumps out form behind my teeth against my will. In direct violation of my mental order to not speak! I cannot be too upset, though, because bottling emotions has resulted in this moment. I don't need more of these so I just accept instantly that I've said it.

As I'm letting the air free from my best, unaware that I was even holding it in the first place, Maya's hand takes my own and kind of jerks me to the side. I sidestep and reposition myself to have a full view of Maya. Distress is apparent in her features. It reminds me of darker days and my hands dart up unconsciously to her face. I bite back the urge to lean in and kiss her squarely on the mouth.

Her eyes close as I continue touching her. The way it looks to me is that she's just melting into my touch. My mind asks a question that I refuse to acknowledge, Is this what falling in love looks like? To worry about whether or not this is 'love' would be to condemn whatever chance we might be able to conjure out of our reckless friendship. Before my mind can argue with me she replies, "I'm sorry."

Curiosity is pulling at my heart, now. Not unlike Maya – I also like to know things.

"Are you sorry enough to answer a second question?" With a scrunched nose on my face I try desperately to be cute and adorable to coax her into agreeing. When she sees my horrific expression, though, I know that she is completely unimpressed by my attempt. So I decide to just ask the question anyway, maybe she'll be irritated enough to answer just to clear her busy mind, "Could you maybe tell me if you were serious about what you said at the bonfire?"

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I agreed to the supervised conversation because I could try to take visual cues from Conner. He kept himself very composed most of the time, so I was hoping that he was going to give me at least something to go on. I glance over to him to see if he changes his expression at all when Lucas asks another question. His facial expression does not change at all. I chuckle and point at him accusingly.

"You knew he was going to just keep going, didn't you?" My voice declares in an irritated tone of absolutely no surprise at all. Nope, there was no surprise. I couldn't even fake my nonexistent shock. Conner just shrugs at me.

"I know a lot of things, ma'am." Conner then pretends to tip his hat at me the same way that Lucas used to do when he was trying to get under my skin. Secretly it was always one of those cute things that made me want to grab him by his shirt collar and just kiss him. But my extreme level of self control made sure that never, ever happened. Seeing Conner do it is not the same, though. He seems disinterred and basically brash. I grumble before turning my attention back to Lucas to answer the question.

"I am sorry enough to say that regardless of how serious I was when I said it – it won't actually matter." Succumbing to the truth and leveling with Lucas Friar was not nearly a dramatic and painful as I definitely expected it to be. The weight being lifted off my shoulders was pleasant, actually. Breathing comes to me a little easier as soon as I've finished my thought.

But I jump when Lucas nearly shouts right back at me.

"WHAT?" He looks at me innocently for a moment then turns his attention to Conner. In a manner not to different from my own, he jabs a finger into Conner's chest and calls him out too, "You knew that she was telling the truth, didn't you."

This is where Conner sort of becomes fed up, I think. He pushes Lucas back in front of me with a grim look on his face. I personally think that there's something more bothering him besides being caught in the middle of this. He gestures to both of us while he is speaking, "Like I said, I know a lot of things. It doesn't really matter what I know because you two need to work this out on your own. I'm staying here to be a good friend to both of you."

I decide to push Lucas on to the bed – IN A SITTING POSITION – so that we can speak calmly. Lucas takes a seat where I had been placed earlier and watches with patience once more. Even though I appreciate his presence, which I had asked for to begin with, I know that I need to stop looking to him for direction on this. It's only been a few days but to him it must feel like years. My head twists to face Lucas directly who is just rubbing his forehead.

"Maya, if you were being serious at the bonfire about not leaving – that changes everything. Not just for you and I, but for everyone. A decision like that would affect everyone." Lucas tells me exactly what I've known all along. And my response comes as naturally as blinking.

"Precisely why it doesn't matter."

Lucas grumbles and places his hand on my knee, "Please don't be like this. Not right now. Not over this."

Again, I don't even have to think about how I should reply, "Please don't make me." I begin to wonder if Lucas realizes that there are other people to consider. He obviously knows that everyone will have to adjust to the possibility of 'us.'

Oh my, that sure does give me chills. The possibilities of an 'us' even being attainable…

"This is ridiculous as you know it. We are overdramatizing something that is not written in stone yet. Why can't we just be open about being attracted to each other? Is it the end of the world and I don't know?" Lucas has this really attractive way of putting everything into perspective. When Riley would talk about it I just agreed submissively because it was completely true. Lucas was a no-fuss-no-muss kind of guy and we both obviously appreciated it... in exactly the same way, when it came right down to it.

"Isn't it?" Conner could be heard mumbling under his breath. Lucas changes his expression and tilts his head to Conner quickly. I watch him bite back a thought but I can't interrupt our serious conversation to ask what it is. Presumably it will come up eventually. Instead of letting it hang in the air I just start nodding my head.

"Fine, Lucas Friar, cowboy extraordinaire, we can be completely up front about our feelings. But we have to also be accepting of that fact that this can never go anywhere." Lucas starts shaking his head as I tell him this because he obviously disagrees, but I lift my hand and stop his movement. Shock defies his request, I can see, because a flash of nervousness glimmers in his eyes. I smack my lips for a second as I put my thoughts back together, "I know that's a strange concept for you, but I've already been doing this for a very long time so I can promise you that it gets easier with time. You'll square away with it all eventually."

For a second we lean closer together but instead Lucas just rests his forehead on mine. He makes it known that he is not going to kiss me, which is perfectly fine because I know that I wouldn't be able to handle it calmly. I would freak out and start saying foul things that I don't actually mean. I know it would happen that way so I just sit there and wait.

"How long?" Why is it the shortest sentences cause the most damage? The question scatters my brain so quickly I almost forgot that he had even asked it by the time a conclusion spontaneously pops into my brain. I choose to move away from Lucas now. I know that I won't want to stay after I say what I have been afraid to admit all these years. When I get into the doorway I grab the knob and look at Lucas over my shoulder.

"I never stopped, cowboy, not since day one." The truth lingers in the air very heavily. I watch helplessly as Lucas' jaw drops, Conner climbs from his spot, and as I drag the door shut behind me. The feeling is great but also daunting. Now that I've said how I feel and so has Lucas the remainder of the trip is sure to be eighteen millions kinds of uncomfortable and awkward. Hopefully Conner is willing to be present often to function as an intermediary. He's done so well already, why should he stop? I laugh at myself when I get to my room and throw myself onto the mattress with a grumpy yelp.

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My heart is going to explode. I don't have a question about it. Maya has just told me that she has liked me since that day in the subway when she pretended to be my girlfriend. Now I know she wasn't actually pretending. She was just using the only defense mechanism she knew to cope with how she felt. If I wasn't so distraught by the fact that she also told its too late to act on our feelings I might have been angry. I think I would be very, very upset.

"Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?" Conner lays down on the bed and waits for me to join him. I'm a little hesitant because my mind is elsewhere but I do eventually join him. When I do I just turn my head to look at him.

"It was never this complicated with Riley." Saying this aloud doesn't change anything. It's just a complaint that I felt like getting off of my chest. Conner nods silently. He agrees that when I was trying to get things starts with Riley I never had this many issues. Maya just doesn't want to put herself first, though, which is actually in character if you know her as well as I do. I make a weak fist and punch Conner's thigh softly, "Sorry, dude. I know that this is all very childish to you – especially after last year."

He doesn't want to acknowledge what happened. The one year anniversary is coming up and I'm curious how he will behave, or what he might do. All I can do is hope that he'll come to me if he starts to feel overwhelmed by the memories an sorrow. Healing is so hard but he's done it flawlessly and I can't help but worry if he did it too perfectly.

"No worries, Lucas. We have to embrace the beautiful things that we do still have… What you and Maya could have would be as perfect as things come, man. I'm just glad you guys thing I'm a good enough guy to help you work through whatever brand of crazy you guys have…" Even though he's participating in the conversation and sounds genuinely interested I can just see in the back of his mind he's reeling about his own problems. I make myself promise to put aside what's happening with Maya to help Conner through his own bad dream.

So very finally I just push it all away, "I just want to enjoy the last few days that we can all three hang out. Come what may, isn't that what your mother says?" I hear Conner gulp with force. I don't want to look at him right now even though he may need it, but I feel him shaking behind me. I know his mother says this when things are getting rough. We knock each other with our elbows to just accept whatever happens until Maya and I go back to New York.

A/N: Before anyone has a chance to ask about it - there's a chapter coming up that explores Conner's character a little bit more.

Author's Fun Fact:

When I originally wrote Conner into the story I was going to have Conner be the typical boy that makes the other boy jealous. I decided that was too, too predictable so as the story progressed I wanted to build Conner up a lot. So we're going to see more depth to him soon. Hopefully it touches you the way that I mean for it. I think we all have a friend who is like Conner :):)