I walked into the living room, seeing Kenya staring up at the old Christmas tree Alfred was going to take down tomorrow. I walked over, sitting down next to her. "Sup little K? Feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

Kenya looked up at Justin, a pout on her face, "You haven't talked to me since Christmas."

I smiled, "You mean when you and I waited up all night for Santa?"

"And you ate his cookies." Kenya pouted.

"I left him the milk!"

"Because you're allergic to it." Kenya snapped, holding jabberwocky closer.

I laughed, looking up at the lights on the tree, "Huh, yeah I guess that's the only reason why. Still, if I'm going to stay up all night, I've gotta have fuel."

Kenya giggled, "Dami was up on the roof, setting up cameras."

I shook my head sadly, "We never should have let him watch Rise of the Guardians. Now he's certain Santa is a Russian master of swordsmanship, and he needs to train with him."

"If Santa was real, would you fight with him?' Kenya asked.

I raised an eyebrow down at Kenya, ruffling her blonde hair, "What do you mean, if Santa was real? He's real kid, real fat, real red, and real friendly."

"Is he really Russian?" Damian asked, popping up out of no where.

I nodded, "Oh yeah, he's Russian."

"How do you know?" Kenya asked.

"Oh, that's easy." I smiled, "You may have fallen asleep when we stayed up to see Santa, but I didn't!"

Damian quickly sat on the other side of Justin, "Wait, you saw North? The swordsman of wonder?"

"Guardian of wonder Damian. Guardian of wonder." I said, smiling.

Kenya gasped, grabbing my shoulder, "Tell me Justy! Tell me!"

Ann walked into the room, Holding hands with Jay, "Tell you what?"

Damian shot a look at Ann, "If you must know, clone, Justin has come into contact with Santa Claus, the guardian of wonder, and she is about to tell the tale of how she met said swordsman of Russia."

Ann stared at me for a minute, before sitting down on the couch, "Oh, I've gotta hear this."

Jay nodded, "I'll get the popcorn!"

I rolled my eyes, "Oh brother."

Alfred popped up out of nowhere, "Well, I dare say that's a tale worth telling."

Dad smirked form the door, "I agree, let's all hear about the time my little sidekick met Santa Claus."

Mom rolled her eyes, sitting down in the lazyboy. "Oh come on Jason, I'm sure it really happened!"

I groaned, "Okay, do you people all want to hear the story, or not?"

"What story?" Tim asked, walking in with Dick behind him.

I face palmed, "What are you two even doing here? You don't live here anymore!"

Uncle Dick smiled, "Well, we're teaming up to take down a child slavery ring with Jay."

I glared at Jay as he came back in with the popcorn bowl, "I hate you Jay."

"Love you too kid." Jay said, sitting down beside Ann and slinging his arm over her shoulder. "Now on with the story!"

I rolled my eyes, standing up and crossing my arms, glaring at the camera in the corner of the room, "Hey gramps, you wanna come listen too?"

There was a moment or two of silence, until a voice echoed throughout the house, "I can hear fine from the cave, thanks."

I shook my head, "Something is definitely wrong with this family, okay, whatever! Here it goes: The Story of How I met North, a.k.a. Santa Claus, and Saved Christmas."

"It was a Christmas Eve like any other, Bruce was doing his Batman thing, Alfred was trying to stop Bruce from doing his Batman thing, just for the holidays, we had just stopped Two Face from carrying out a Christmas themed heist, and we were all settling down for the biggest holiday of the year-"

"We know this part!" Damian interrupted, "Skip to the part we don't know!"

"Alright!" I snapped, "Jesus Christ, I'm telling the story!"

"So, after all the sickeningly sweet holiday greets were exchanged, me and Kenya were staying up to try and see Santa Claus. Damian was on the roof, setting up cameras. To which I say: Really? The dude is magic, cameras can't catch him!"

"Todd!"

"Fine! Now pay attention, cause this is where the story gets… juicy."

"So, after everyone else went to bed, eventually Kenya fell asleep too. I stayed up, because I was trying to get black mail of Alfred putting presents under the tree."

"What?" Mom asked, fixing me in her warning glare.

"He's the only one I don't have anything on!" I explained, "And it's so hard to get black mail on the guy, he's a freaking ninja!"

Alfred chuckled, amused. "Indeed, I am, young Miss."

"See?" I asked, "So anyways, let's begin our story."

I yawned, keeping my camera at the ready, waiting for Alfred to walk in with the presents, when the chimney started shaking. The bricks moved form side to side, the mortar in between them looking more like putty that cement. It morphed, pulling itself apart, straight down the middle, until a big ball of white and red popped out.

I grabbed the sleeping form of Kenya, jumping with her behind the sofa. Remarkably, she was still asleep, so, not wanting to wake her up, I set her down under the coffee table, and pulled out a gun, pointing it at the tall figure as he bent beneath our Christmas tree.

"Ah." He said, "Let's see what we have here, Damian Wayne? Naughty! Kenya Todd, Nice! Let's see what I can give her… Ah, I remember I gave her a pink bunny two years ago, how can I follow that up? Oh no, I didn't get her the next year did I? Wasn't she in a hospital, a coma, right? Terrible. I'm going to have to make up for zat year! Oh, idea! I give her magic snow globe!"

"You move and I'll put a bullet in your brain, you psycho!" I snapped, jumping up onto the back of the couch, aiming at his head.

He acted like he didn't even hear me, reaching into his red sack, and pulling out a snow globe with a red bow on it.

"Hey, Saint Nick wanna be, do you want me to put lead in yer bowl full of jelly!?" I taunted, cocking my gun.

He froze, looking over his shoulder. His eyes widened, "You… can see me?"

"If I didn't, would I be able to point a gun at your head?" I sassed. "Hands in the air, nimrod."

He held his hands up, "You should not be able to see me, you are… Justine Todd?"

"It's-"

"Justin, I know, I know!" He interrupted, "Don't you know who I am?"

I glared at him, "A really fat guy who broke into my house?"

"I am Santa!" He protested, "Und you! You have never sent me a single Christmas wish list!"

"… Sorry, most of my Christmases involved me, in a closet, with a couple bullet wounds." I said, rolling my eyes.

Santa nodded, "Ah, I remember zat! I alvays vanted to get you a gift, but you never told me vat you vanted!"

I lowered my gun, "Uh… you're Russian?"

"Und so are you!" He declared, "But you are teenager! How can you still believe?"

I frowned, remembering the Rise of the Guardians movie I had seen with Kenya. "Uh, I don't! As far as I know."

He pondered this, stroking his beard, "Den something is very wrong… I feel it, in-"

"Your belly?" I Asked.

"No, in my beard!" He said, "Of course in my belly!"

"Well, hate to burst your bubble, but I'm fine." I told him, strapping my gun back into place, "And I'm awesome, how about you? Who, wait a sec." I felt a grin creep onto my face, "Am I one the naughty list?"

North opened his mouth to reply, but felt himself at a loss for words "I… don't know."

I raised an eyebrow, "Uh, isn't that your job?"

He shook his head, "Yes, zis does not make sense, you! You should be on ze list!"

He grabbed my shoulder, "We must speak to Manny, at once!"

"Wait a minute, Todd!" Damian protested.

"Ugh, what is it now demon child?" I had finally started to tell the story, why the hell does his keep interrupting?

"Why am I on the naughty list!?" He demanded, "I have devoted this past year to defending justice, and stopping villainy!"

"Yes Damian, but you've also killed people, and you're still a little douche." I snapped, "Santa thinks both of those things are naughty."

"You've killed people too." Tim pointed out.

I shrugged, "Well, maybe I'm on the naughty list too, only way to know is to finish the story, if I may?"

Kenya nodded, bouncing up and down with jabberwocky. "Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!" She jumped up on the coffee table, glaring at Damian and Tim, "No more interrupting! I. Wanna. Hear. The story!"

Tim and Damian quickly nodded, having never seen Kenya's bat glare before.

I smirked, "Continuing."

So, North used his magic snow globe to yank me to his workshop, and who would have guessed, Jack Frost was there, in all his troll face glory. What was our little mischief maker doing on Christmas Eve? Freezing elves for fun.

I laughed as one of the little elves fell to the ground, "Well, that's a healthy anger exercise if I've ever seen one!"

He looked up at me, leaning on his staff, "Huh, hey north, who's the chic?"

"I'm standing right here." I snapped, taking out my gun and flipping it around in my hand, "And I've got a loaded gun."

His eyes widened, "What the- what kind of spirit are you!? Carrying around guns? How is that going to help children!?"

"Well, they seem grateful when I shoot the people trying to abuse, kill, rape, and or maim them."

Jack paused, before breaking out into a grin, "So, you're like a ninja?"

"Ninja's ain't got nothin on me!" I said, smirking.

North cleared his throat, "Jack, zis is Justin Todd, from zat, er, special family I vas telling you about."

"You mean the crazy bat people?"

I rolled my eyes, "That's the best description of my family I've ever heard. Goes right up there with cocky bastards and juvenile delinquents."

Bruce's voice echoed through the speakers, "You revealed the family's secrets?"

"Bruce, Jack Frost works with Santa Clause." I said, rolling my eyes.

"So?"

"He's Santa Clause! He already knows, that's why he knows you're a goody two shoes that get's exactly what he wants for Christmas every year. More angst material."

Kenya stomped her foot impatiently, "More story, more story!"

Jack Frost laughed, "You're pretty cool, for a girl."

I cocked my gun, "Say that last part again?"

His eyes widened, "Uh… never mind."

"That's what I thought snow flake."

"What did you just call me?"

I smirked, "Snow flake, it's your new nickname."

He glared at me, "You're lucky you have a gun."

"Never leave home without it."

North suddenly spoke up, "I got it! Idea!"

I looked over at him, "What?"

He smiled, "You are not on either list, because you are neither naughty, nor nice! You do just as many good things, as you do bad!"

I nodded, "Yeah, that actually sounds believable."

Jack nodded, "So, what do we do about it?"

North shrugged, "She has to do someding nice to make up for it, in time to get a Christmas gift. Jack, you take her out! I must continue wid ze presents!"

Jack smiled at me, "Sounds… interesting."

Jack grabbed my shoulders, "Hold on tight, hero girl."

He suddenly took off into the sky, dragging me with him. I yelped, wrapping my arms around his chest, damn this guy was cold!

"So, long story short, he flew me back to Gotham, and after watching me knock some child slavers to and fro, he actually helped me a little. He'd freeze the ground so they'd fall, or throw snow balls. It was actually kind of fun." I admitted, "And of course, with all the sexual tension around the two of us after that, we ended up pulling a naughty on a roof top."

They all stared at me, and Dad's fingers tightened around his gun. "He did what to do?"

I smirked, "It's more, what I did to him."

Mom groaned, "Justin, I have no idea how you made your father want to kill a fictional character, but stop."

Kenya glared at Mom, "Jack Frost is real!"

Jay chuckled, picking Kenya up and pulling her onto his lap, "You aren't helping much Kenya."

Kenya turned back to me, "Well, what happened next?"

I smiled, "Glad you asked."

We went back to the workshop, walking past the Yetis. Jack reached over, gently pulling my jacket up to hide the hickey.

"Justin!"

"Alright, sorry mom."

"Jason, let go of your gun."

"Just give me a few minutes Kim."

North looked up at me, "Vell, I found you on ze list."

I smiled, "So, I'm on the Nice list, right?"

He pinched his lips together, trying to hide a laughed, "Err, no. You see, zere was a different reason behind your name not being on ze list."

"Well, what was it?" Jack asked.

North looked at me, "You remember, in Russia, you vent by a different name for a few years?"

My eyes widened, "Oh no."

He nodded, "Yes, zat is vhat name you are under."

Jack looked at me, "what was your name?"

I looked at North in a pleading way. "Please don't tell him, that name was awful."

Jack smiled mischievously, "You know, as a Guardian, I can simply request the info. We're entitled to know these things."

I glared at him.

He smiled, "Or you can just, tell me."

I sighed, "Alright, look. I had to choose a codename for awhile to be able to go on a long mission with my trainer, Dunya."

North spoke up, "Zat woman is high on Naughty list!"

"So, since the mission was in America, I was supposed to do research on it before choosing my name. While I was, I came across this popular series of spy movies, and I liked the lead actor's character name, so I bummed it off of him."

Jack stared at me, "You mean-"

"Yeah, I changed my name to Bond. Jamie Bond."

Jack laughed, "That's… that's kind of hot."

"If your father tried to shoot Reindeer with his Ak-47, it's your fault Justin!"

"I'll risk it."

I turned back to North, "So… am I on the naughty list?"

North laughed, "On Naughty List!? You beat Jack zis year. You hold new record!"

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face, "… I have been waiting for this moment my entire life." I cleared my throat, turning to all the Yeti who were glaring at me. Apparently they don't like people on the Naughty List. "I'd like to think my father, for teaching me that being a little punk is the greatest joy in the world. Nothing compares to seeing your handy work play out in the end. I'd also like to think my sort-of brother Damian for aiding me in my quest of getting to the top on the Naughty List."

Jack stared at me, "You… beat my record? My Naughty List record, you beat it. I… You are… the hottest girl I have ever met in over three hundred years."

I smirked, "You want another round snow flake?"

He smiled, "If you're game."

North broke in, "Both of your Naughty List records are going up."

I settled backing my chair, smiling at my family, "And that, my dear family, and several on my hate list, is how I, Justin Todd, got the coolest Christmas present ever."

Tim spoke up, "But, wait. You're on the Naughty List, you don't get presents."

"Not from North, but my lover boy gave me one awesome present." I said, grinning.

Dad cocked his gun, "I can't believe I want to pump Jack Frost full of lead."

Kenya looked up at me, "Justy, what's a hickey?"

"… Mom, how about you take this one?"

Damian jumped up, pointing a finger at me, "You! I demand you arrange a time where I may train with Saint Nicholas!"

I held up my hands, "Uh, Damian, he kind of isn't my biggest fan right now. How about the Easter Bunny?"

Damian snorted, "Do not be absurd. Easter is not Christmas."

Jay spoke up, "Well, even if Jack Frost isn't real, Justin, why do you have a hickey on your neck?"

I froze, my hand going to the small bruise on my neck, covering it, "Uh…"

Dad jumped up, "Justine Todd, I want a name, right now!"

"Jack Frost, I swear!"

Tim covered his eyes, "Justin, you're going to curse us with Daddy bat's again!"

Bruce suddenly appeared in the room, "Justin, answer your father before he throws a TV through my wall again."

I bit my lip, and grabbed my grappling line, "Uh, look at that window, it's not broken!"

I dashed to the window, jumping into it, shattering it and falling out, before I shot my grappling hook at a nearby tree, and swung off. I fell to the ground in a roll, standing up quickly. "Whew, close one."

Snow from the branches above me suddenly fell on my head, and I sprawled on the ground, laughing. "Don't be like that Jack."