A/N: Hey, everyone! Thanks for being patient while I take on so many writing projects. Hello to my new followers! *wave* BTW, some of you have PMs turned off, so I can't respond to your reviews or send you teasers. I'm not ignoring you, really!
I'm not a doctor/nurse, but I do work in the medical field, and I have had transfusions myself, so the information in this chapter should be fairly accurate.
Love and hugs to my pre-readers, Keye and Sandy, for their dedication and friendship.
A huge stash of Peter Petrelli and Damon Salvatore pOrn to Jess (jkane180), the fastest beta in the west. Mwah!
Chapter 11
~Wrapped in Angel Wings~
Playlist for this chapter:
Hemorrhage ~ Fuel
Broken ~ Seether (with Amy Lee)
Letting the Cables Sleep ~ Bush
Kiss from a Rose ~ SEAL
Haunted ~ Poe
~*Edward*~
"Izzy?" I pulled her close to my chest. "Izzy!" I yelled out hoarsely.
Her body hung limply in my arms, and she was so absent—more absent than I'd ever seen her. My chest raged with pain and anguish. I never even had time to revel in the fact that she'd finally said the three words I'd been waiting to hear.
Her pulse was thready, and she was completely gone. There was a difference between someone being asleep and being gone. Izzy wasn't there; my beautiful girl wasn't there at all.
"No, no, no. Please." I wasn't sure who I was begging for mercy.
Paul's head snapped in my direction. "Edward? Is she..." His face twisted in anguish.
"No, but... she's barely..." Raking a hand through my hair roughly, I refused to say the words. I looked down at her pale face and reached out a shaking hand to caress her skin.
"Do something, you stupid bloodsucker!" he screamed. "I didn't bring her all this way for her to die! If she dies, I'll fucking kill you!"
I flinched at the vitriol in his words. Despite the fact that Paul was lying there, possibly dying himself, his main concern seemed to be Izzy.
Fuck! After all we've been through, she just can't die! I did all this for her. I know she doesn't love me, but I don't think I can go on if she's not here. God, it was hard to bring her to him, but it was what she wanted. If he can't help her, so help me God, he's fucking dead for the second time.
I realized that underneath all the brawn and bullshit, Paul truly did love Izzy. He brought her to me, which definitely went against his grain; in fact, it must have been one of the hardest things he'd ever done.
"Paul, thank you for bringing her to me. I know this is hard for you, that your feelings for her are true. I love her, and I'll do anything to save her. If she dies, you won't have to chase me; I'll put my neck between your jaws."
"Deal!" Another spasm of pain hit Paul, and he writhed on the ground. "Fuck me!"
Izzy still had a lot of issues, but I thought the time may have come to change her. It didn't sound like she was going to make it otherwise. My arms tightened around her limp form, and I longed to see those beautiful, expressive eyes of hers. I wanted to see her defiant glare as she challenged me, the softness there when she was affectionate, the heat and desire when she wanted me... I gulped back a sob, bowing my head down to hers. "Come on, Izzy," I whispered. "Without you, I'm nothing."
Alice stood beside me, whimpering. "Edward, I can't see her because Paul is here. I'm scared. Jazz?"
Jasper stood from where he was crouched beside Paul and sauntered over. He knelt down beside me, his brow furrowed. He placed a hand on Izzy's cheek and touched it tenderly. I looked up at him in shock as he let a memory slip of helping Izzy with her addictions by giving her a 'false high.' I also saw the part where they agreed to keep it a secret from me.
"What the hell?"
"Not now, Edward." Jasper glared at me. "You need to keep yourself in check so I can feel her."
Jasper sat there for what seemed like an eternity but was probably only thirty seconds; time really seemed to slow when you were in dire circumstances. Jasper closed his eyes, and I could almost feel him blanketing his empathic ability over Izzy, trying to get back something.
The sound of crunching gravel spitting up beneath fast moving tires announced the arrival of Carlisle. He slammed on the brakes, skidding sideways, and ran from the car, leaving the driver door wide open.
"Edward! What's happening?" Carlisle's eyes were absorbing everything at once, cataloging the scene and taking stock.
"Paul is badly injured; he has a... hole in his side. I don't know what's wrong with Izzy, but I think... I think she may be... dying." This time, I couldn't bite back the aggrieved sob that ripped out of my chest.
Paul turned his head to look at Carlisle. "Listen, Doc, don't even think of coming near me. You take care of Izzy first!"
Carlisle nodded and came to kneel beside Jasper with his medical bag. He cocked his head, listening to Izzy's thready heart rate. "Not good," he said grimly.
"She's not there at all," Jasper said sadly. "There's just a... a void."
"I'm going to change her," I stated, starting to stand up.
"No, Edward!" Carlisle shook his head. "You can't."
"What do you mean I can't?"
"Her heart will never withstand the venom. If you start the change right now, she'll die."
"But she's already dying, Carlisle!" I yelled in his face.
I know, son. I'm sorry. He shook his head sadly.
"NO!" I roared. "I won't allow it! I just found her, Father! Please do something. Please."
I knew he was right; Izzy would never make it through the change right now. Then I listened closer. The whoosh of her blood didn't sound quite right, and my mind turned to all the blood that I saw mingled between Izzy and Paul as they arrived.
"Paul! Why was Izzy bleeding? Did James attack her?"
Paul's face scrunched up in consternation. "No, that's the weird thing. When I got there, James was holding her, but there was no blood on her. The strangest thing happened; he told her he was going to basically drain her dry while he, um, fucked her..." I hissed as the memory replayed in his head while he was telling us. "Then he told her once she was dead, he was going to bring her body to you, and while you were grieving over her, he was going to kill you. That seemed to make her really angry, and then... she just let out this inhuman scream, and she... she blew him back several yards. I know it sounds crazy, but somehow she did it. I attacked him, and we started fighting in the water. When he shoved his hand inside me, Izzy called out his name. I heard a pop and a sizzle, and then James was staggering back as he started to catch fire—she had a flare gun. When I got to her, there was blood pouring from her nose, but I didn't have time to think too much about it."
Carlisle and I looked at each other with dawning understanding.
"Her power, Carlisle!"
"It must have been too much for her. Powers like that weren't meant to reside in a human body. She must be hemorrhaging; that's why her blood sounds sluggish in her veins. We can try a transfusion. If we get it into her fast enough, and her heart holds out, she might make it."
"Power?" Paul echoed.
His question went unanswered when we heard the stampede of feet as other wolves headed our way. A few moments later, Sam Uley and Jacob Black burst out of the woods at a run, bare-chested, wearing only shorts.
"What the hell is going on here?" Sam barked at us, spotting Paul lying on the ground.
Paul spoke up immediately. "Sam—that son of a bitch that shoved his arm inside me down at First Beach was after Izzy. How's Leah? Is she okay?"
"Leah will be fine. The rest of the pack is back on the Res dealing with the aftermath of all... this," Sam said grimly.
Jacob ran up to me, falling to his knees. "Edward?" he whispered, his eyes full of questions and fear.
"I don't know, Jacob. She lost a great deal of blood; we're going to try a transfusion." Instinctively, I pulled Izzy in closer to me—her body temperature was cool, her skin clammy, and there was still no response from her; she was like a rag-doll in my arms.
"I'm so sorry. There's no way we could have known..." Jacob trailed off, the whole scene playing in his mind.
Leah sneered at them on the beach just before they heard the howls in the distance—a pack signal that their land had been breached by vampires. Leah leaped to her feet, phasing into her wolf form and whining as Jacob ordered her to protect Izzy while he joined the rest of the wolves.
Jacob phased mid-run, hurtling toward the woods, where the other wolves were already battling a number of vampires. They appeared to be newborns—extremely strong, but not very organized or strategic in battle. It was, however, a wonderful diversion plotted by a madman so he could get his hands on Izzy.
Leah's thoughts reached the pack before she was knocked unconscious.
Holy fuck! There's a leech walking right out of the fucking surf! I'm going after him. Stupid, blood sucking... Lights out.
I shook my head. "It's not your fault, Jacob. You did the best you could under the circumstances. That sick son of a bitch knew exactly what he was doing. He waited until she was on the Res to make his move, knowing full well I wouldn't be there."
Carlisle was examining the wound in Paul's side, which was still oozing blood. He looked over at us with a grave expression. "Paul isn't healing. My theory is that he lost too much blood when he was injured. He's going to need a transfusion, but I believe it will have to come from another shape-shifter. If we use human blood, it won't contain the properties needed for his body to fuel the healing."
Sam nodded. "That makes sense, Carlisle. What can we do?"
"I need to test any wolves that are willing to donate blood to see if they're a match for Paul. We can't bring him to the hospital, but I have a small lab in the basement where I can run the tests. We can do the transfusion right here."
"Okay. Whatever we have to do to save him. I appreciate your willingness to help."
"There is one issue." Carlisle hesitated as Sam looked over. "Izzy also needs medical attention and a CT scan rather urgently. I have to go to the hospital with her because there may be some anomalies in her results as well. My other daughter, Rose, has been to medical school; she would have to take care of Paul."
Sam looked uncomfortable, but he could see the problem we were facing. "Are you sure Rose will be able to do this?"
"Yes, and I'll be available by phone if there are any questions. I'm expecting her and Emmett home any moment, but I'm going to call them." Carlisle dialed his phone, talking in a fast whisper. It figures it was Rose that answered because he had to smooth over her objections. Once he explained the dilemma, that Izzy's life was hanging in the balance, she stopped arguing.
Within five minutes, Rose and Emmett were on the scene. I climbed into the back seat of Carlisle's car with Izzy cradled in my arms; we'd decided that it would be best to show up by car, even though it wasn't faster.
Alice and Jasper stood by the car door.
"I feel so useless!" Alice stamped her foot, her face twisted in pain. "I love Izzy like a sister, and I don't even know if she..."
I grabbed Alice's hand. "If there's any way, we're going to make it happen."
"I know."
Jasper leaned his tall frame down to meet my eyes. "If anyone can survive this, it's your Izzy. She loves you so much, Edward, and I know she'll fight as hard as she's able to."
"Thanks, Jazz." I swallowed thickly.
"We'll meet you over at the hospital!" Alice yelled out as we sped away.
Carlisle called in to the hospital on our way and arranged a private room. "My future daughter-in-law is coming in. I'm going to have a private nurse, and I'll handle the type and cross-match. She's going to need several units of blood transfused. I also need a private room." He listened for a moment. "Yes, that room is perfect. Thanks for all your help, Lisa; you're an angel!"
"Are we all set?" I asked nervously.
"As set as we can be, son. I've got a private room at the end of a hall, I'll run the blood myself, and I'm going to call Ginny—she's a private nurse I've used before. She's human, but she's very discreet; if she sees something a little out of the ordinary, she won't bat an eyelash." Carlisle called Ginny, who happened to be finishing a job at a nursing home nearby, and she agreed to meet us in the room with phlebotomy equipment.
I refused to let go of Izzy, so Carlisle took us through a back entrance, and we went up a maintenance elevator that let out fairly close to the private room. I knew Izzy's body was cooler because I was holding her in my arms, but I was worried about her core temperature being too low. Her heart beats were still shallow and thready, although they remained the same as back at the house, which I supposed was a good sign considering the dire circumstances.
When the elevator doors opened, Carlisle moved quickly, taking a right and another right at the corner of the hall. One more short hallway led to three private rooms, none of which were occupied. Izzy's was the last one at the end.
It was a generic hospital room graced with pale green walls, framed watercolor prints, press-board furniture, a hospital bed and a TV on a bendable metal arm. There was a bank of windows facing the woods, and light was streaming in, creating beams in the dust motes that were suspended in the air.
"Edward, get her undressed and into this." Carlisle handed me a hospital gown sealed in plastic.
There was a light knock on the door; Ginny had arrived. She was a plump, motherly-looking woman in her fifties with iron gray hair cut in a practical bob. Her twinkling blue eyes met mine for a moment, and I saw understanding dawn. "You must be Carlisle's son. I'm Ginny. And this must be your sweetheart." She patted me on the arm. "Don't you worry, kid. We're going to take good care of your girl."
I liked her immediately, and I could see why Carlisle called on her from time to time. If she found anything strange or inappropriate about the way we were handling things, she never let on. Her mind was focused on Izzy and what could be done for her. She bustled about getting ready to draw a blood sample so Carlisle could run the type and cross-match while I changed Izzy into the hospital gown.
Izzy still lay there unconscious and absent, and I had to set myself to the tasks at hand to keep from falling apart. At one point, I was just staring at the cuff on her wrist, rubbing my finger over the silver crest that matched my own.
"You love her so much, don't you?" Ginny's voice startled me.
"More than anything," I choked out.
"I have a feeling—I get them about patients from time to time—that your girl is a fighter. It's going to be close, but I won't be a bit surprised if she pulls through just fine."
"Thanks, Ginny, and thank you for agreeing to help us."
"You're welcome. Carlisle pays real well, and he's quiet the charmer," Ginny tittered, blushing. "Okay, I'm all set here." Pulling Izzy's arm out straight, Ginny tied a tourniquet around her upper arm and tapped in the fold of her arm until a vein stood out. Smoothly, she slid the needle in and let the tourniquet loose as blood filled the tube. Removing the needle, she detached the tube and handed it off to Carlisle.
"I'll be back in a few minutes, son. Ginny, can you go check on the CT machine on this floor and see when it'll be available?"
"Sure thing, Dr. C."
And then we were alone.
Izzy lay in the hospital bed, looking so fragile and lost—so colorless. Izzy was the most vibrant person I'd ever met, and it was strange to see her just a shell of herself. Anxiety filled me, and I realized how she might have felt when I punished her by becoming like stone, refusing to blink, move, touch, talk. It was almost too cruel of a punishment. Moving her over slightly, I lay next to her on the bed, putting my arms around her.
"Izzy, I need you," I whispered brokenly. "Please don't leave me. We've come so far, my love. I won't be able to go on without you; I don't want to. If you die on me, I'm going to follow you."
I placed a kiss on her temple. There were two tracks of dried blood running from her nose, and I wondered if I should clean her up. Moving to get off the bed, I heard an indrawn breath from Izzy, and her heart spiked slightly, although she didn't twitch a muscle. Could she hear me talking to her? Did she know on some level that I was with her? I fitted my body back alongside hers, and her heart calmed immediately. Stroking the pads of my fingers along her creamy skin, I kept talking to her.
"Please, Izzy. For me. Fight like you never have before. I don't know what this power you have did to your insides—Carlisle is working as fast as he can to find out—but I hope you can hear me somehow, that you know I'm here." My lips ghosted along the side of her face, and my eyes slipped closed. I let out a small chuckle at the thought of Rose having to touch the pack. "Paul's hanging on. Of all people, Rose is drawing the wolves' blood to see if anyone is a match for him. Paul isn't healing, and Carlisle's theory is that it's because he lost too much blood, so he's looking for a shape-shifter that can donate. Paul was so worried about you. He really—he really cares deeply for you."
I traced a path down the side of her neck and dipped my fingers inside the front of the hospital gown, flattening my hand until it hovered just over her heart. The feel of its beat was both comforting and fear-inducing because her heart was still beating, but it was not her normal rhythm. Every beat was a reminder that her heart might give out at any moment, and I would be left alone and lost without her.
Nuzzling my nose into her hair, I brought my lips against her ear. "Can you hear me, Izzy? Do you have any idea what this is doing to me? Knowing that I can't change you right now—that we have to get blood transfusions into you or..." I faltered, wondering if I should even be telling her all this, but I knew that Izzy would want to know the truth. "Izzy, fight... please. If we don't get some blood into you, you're not going to make it, and neither will I. I love you more than my own life. I wish I could trade places with you right now. I would do anything for you."
I felt and heard the change at the same time—under my fingers, Izzy's heart started beating harder, and she was breathing deeper, gasping breaths. Lifting my head, I looked down at her face, but there wasn't even a twitch.
Edward...
My eyes widened. "Izzy?" How could I have missed her lips moving?
Edward...
This time, I knew I heard her, and I didn't miss any movements because there were none. Somehow, I was hearing her thoughts. "I heard you. I don't know how, but I did."
I love you. I'm sorry.
Bringing my head back down, my lips rested against her ear. "I love you, too, Izzy. So much. What are you sorry for?"
For not listening to you. For leaving you. Forgive me.
"Leaving me? What are you talking about?"
I'm dying, Edward. I can feel myself fading.
"No! Just hold on. Carlisle will be back with the blood soon."
I don't know if I can. There's this light, and it looks so... warm. I feel drawn to it.
"Izzy, no! Don't leave me," I begged. "I'll never make it without you."
You will. Promise me you'll live for us both.
"No." I pulled her tighter against me as if I could force her to stay with me by wrapping her in my arms.
Fucking promise me, boyscout! If you love me, you'll promise.
I smelled fresh blood, and my head shot up off the pillow. Two new rivulets of blood trickled slowly from Izzy's nose, and a stab of fear lanced through me. "Izzy, stay calm. Whatever you're doing, it's making your nose bleed again. Please hold on—for me. I can't do this without you."
Have to stop talking to you. The effort to open my mind must be causing the bleeding. I'll try to hold on. Just know that no matter what happens, I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Bringing my lips to hers, I kissed her softly. I came away with some blood on my lips, and it was the bitterest taste that ever touched my tongue. Izzy's heart started to race, and her breathing grew shallow. Panic welled up in me. What was taking Carlisle so long? Was she dying right now? The thought struck me that she was probably scared to death trapped inside her body this way, and instinct told me to try what worked for her nightmares. Scooting in closer to her, I put my arm and leg over her body, burying my nose in her hair. "I'm right here; I've got you. I love you so much. I'll try my best—that's all I can promise you—but I'm not going to have to because you're going to make it. I'll be right here with you the whole time."
Izzy's heart slowed, and her breaths came slower and deeper. It was working.
The door opened a few minutes later, and Carlisle hurried in with several bags of blood and plasma. "How is she, son?"
"Hanging on. I heard her, Father—her mind. But more blood started coming from her nose, so I made her stop. She feels like she's... dying." The last part came out on a sob. "Do something. Please."
"I need to hang the blood, son. Can you get off the bed?"
"No. I won't leave her side. I have to have my hands on her."
Carlisle looked me in the eye. Is this really necessary, son?
I nodded.
"Izzy can hear us?" he asked.
"Yes."
"Okay, Izzy, I'm going to start a blood transfusion in each of your arms to get it into you faster. You'll feel a slight sting as the needles go in; then we just wait. The fact that you made it this far is a good sign. Hold on a little bit longer."
"You have a lot of blood there." I whispered low enough that Izzy wouldn't be able to hear.
Yes, son. Her hemoglobin was only four. She could have brain damage at this point. You said you could hear her mind—did she seem mentally intact?
That made me smirk, thinking of the way she cursed at me a few minutes ago. I nodded. "Oh, yeah, she's in there all right—trashy mouth and all."
Carlisle grinned. Good. We'll get these into her as fast as we can. Once she's stable, we'll do the CT scan.
Carlisle took her blood pressure before starting the transfusions, and he didn't look pleased. It's 90/0, Edward. I can't even get a diastolic pressure on her. His movements sped up as he pierced the skin of each arm with the needles and hung a bag of blood on an IV pole on each side of the bed.
There was a light tap on the door, and Ginny stuck her head in cautiously. "How's everything going in here? Do you need any help, Dr. C.?"
"I hung the blood, so we should be good for now. Maybe you can stay around in case I need you?"
"Sure thing. I'll be in the nurse's lounge right up the hall." Ginny looked over at me and winked. "Try not to worry too much, kid."
"I'll try. Thank you for your help." I offered her a small smile.
The only thing we could do was wait and hope enough blood got into her veins before her heart decided to quit or other organs were damaged due to lack of blood flow. I never even tried to move from the bed again; I sat on the edge, with my hip up against hers, and held her hands in mine. I couldn't lay down with her any longer because of the plastic tubing running from the bags of blood down to the needles in her arms, delivering life-saving sustenance to her body. The bags seemed to empty at an excruciatingly slow pace.
Pulling one hand away from hers, I ran my fingertips gently down her forearm, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. It comforted me to feel the patter of her pulse, and it seemed to be growing a little stronger as time passed.
My cell vibrated in my pocket; it was Alice.
"Hey, Alice."
"She's doing better." There was a smile in Alice's voice.
"Yes, a little. Have you seen..."
"She'll make it, Edward. She can't do that... thing anymore, though. Another huge burst like that will probably kill her on the spot. Carlisle's going to find hemorrhaging in her brain, but something about it will be odd. It gets fuzzy after that part, though. Sorry I can't tell you more."
I closed my eyes. Trying to force Izzy not to use her power would be like trying to stop a train that was moving at full speed. I'd just have to make sure she had no reason to use that power, at least until I could change her.
"Thank you, Alice. Izzy, Alice says you're going to make it. No more using that power, though; it's causing bleeding in your brain. The CT scan will show it."
Carlisle looked over at me. Is the CT still necessary then?
I nodded gravely and whispered, "Something out of the ordinary is going to show up, but Alice doesn't know what—it got fuzzy at that point."
"Where are you, Alice?"
"Jazz and I are downstairs in the coffee shop. I figured you'd want some time with Izzy, and we'd be available if you needed us."
"Thanks. How's Paul?"
Izzy's heart rate elevated slightly.
"Not sure yet. There was a lot of snarling—mostly from Rose—but she finally got a blood match for Paul from Seth. She's doing the transfusion now, but we just don't know if it will be enough because they can't take that many units from Seth."
"What about Leah? She's Seth's sister; she might be a match for Paul."
"Um, they can't find her."
"What do you mean?"
"She's gone. Apparently, she just took off, and unless she phases, Sam can't Alpha command her back or even figure out where she is."
"Has there been any change at all in Paul's condition?"
"He wasn't healing yet, but the bleeding's stopped. It's frustrating that I can't see them! So annoying."
"I know. I'll call Rose and check in on them in a while." I stroked Izzy's arm absently.
"You heard her," Alice said, sounding pleased.
"I did, but it's bittersweet because it caused more bleeding. At least I know she's in there, and she can hear me."
"She finally told you she loves you."
"The only thing in this world I want to hear more is that she's going to be okay—not just for today, but long enough to be ready..." I drifted off.
"You're going to change her." There was a certainty in Alice's voice that I found comforting.
"Yes."
"She'll be stunning, Edward."
"She already is."
"She is," Alice agreed.
My index finger skimmed Izzy's palm, and her fingers twitched in response, grabbing my attention. "Izzy?" I brought my fingertips to rest against hers lightly. "Can you do that again?"
Izzy's fingers curled slightly, rubbing against mine, and I felt as though my heart might restart in my chest. She wasn't fully awake yet, but she was coming around. The sound of the blood whooshing through her veins seemed healthier now, more plentiful, like a bubbling stream instead of the trickling of a nearly empty creek bed.
"I'll let you go." I could tell Alice was grinning from ear to ear.
"Talk to you later," I answered absently; the only thing holding my attention was Izzy.
Leaning forward, careful not to disturb the plastic tubing that ran from the IVs, I kissed her lips softly. "Come back to me, love. I can't wait to see those beautiful eyes," I murmured against her mouth, and her heart rate spiked.
Carlisle smirked at me, obviously hearing her heart pick up. Easy, son. You don't want to rile her up too much before we get that CT scan.
"When?" I asked him.
When these bags are finished, she should be stable. We'll take her to CT scan then. You can hear how much better her heart and blood flow sound already. I don't know what we'll find during the scan, but it appears she'll live, son.
"Thank you, Father." I bent close to Izzy's ear, smoothing back her hair. "As soon as the bags of blood are finished, we're going to bring you for a CT scan. I'll be with you the whole time; don't worry about anything."
~*O*~
When we reached radiology and entered the room where the CT scanner was, I found the sound of rushing air and humming equipment rather soothing, although I wasn't sure why. Ginny administered the contrast dye that would go through Izzy's bloodstream, highlighting everything and allowing us to see anything out of the ordinary.
Once Izzy was strapped down, Carlisle slid her inside the CT machine. Her heart started to race, so I put my hands on her legs, stroking them tenderly. "It's okay, love. I'll be right here the whole time. I promise I won't leave you."
As the machine made its clicks and whirs, I contemplated why Izzy still wasn't awake and moving. She knew I was there, she could hear me when I spoke to her, and yet, the only movement she'd made was a slight curling of her fingers. I couldn't help but worry, even though Alice said she would pull through. She had said something odd would show up on the CT scan.
After about an hour, Carlisle stepped into the room. You have to see this, Edward. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but it's most definitely not normal.
"What do you mean; you don't know what it is?"
The scan took extra long because things were happening even as I was scanning her. I'll need to show you the films, son.
"I can't leave her." I shook my head.
Let's get her back to her room. I'll bring the films in there. Carlisle turned toward the door.
"Father... is it bad?"
I don't know yet, son. It's... complex.
Of course it was.
~*Izzy*~
Edward. You have to take me to Edward... My voice echoed around inside my own mind.
Bring me to Edward.
Edward. You have to take me to Edward...
Paul snarling, hesitating with indecision.
Edward. You have to take me to Edward...
Blood poured from my nose, its metallic taste coating the back of my throat as I nearly choked on it. Strange images flooded my mind... were they real?
Edward's golden eyes filled with love...
Darkening eyes filled with lust...
His eyes black with anger over Riley... over James.
Edward leaning in and gripping my hips as he took me on the hood of his car.
Edward with angel's wings wrapping around me, so softly.
Edward watching me ride away on Jacob's bike.
And then he faded away, his lopsided smirk the last of the image to go.
No.
Edward. You have to take me to Edward...
Movement... that felt all wrong—like being jostled on the back of a horse face down. My fingers were curled into claws, but what was I holding? I wanted to open my hands, but they wouldn't obey my commands. I wanted to see Edward, but he wouldn't appear before me.
Bump. Bump. Shift. Bump.
I heard a pained whimper that wasn't mine. Where did it come from?
Bump. Bump. Shift. Bump.
The taste of more blood drained down my throat—Jesus, I was swallowing my own life force down. How much could roll down my throat before I gagged or died? I felt it trickling from my nose and down over my lips, too. Shit—was I bleeding out? I'd heard that term somewhere. The only thing I wanted was Edward.
Edward. You have to take me to Edward...
I never told him I loved him. Tears tried to fall, but they were dammed up inside me.
Edward needs to know I love him. My lips moved slightly, but no sound came out.
I tried harder.
"Edward needs to know... I... love him."
Who was I telling? The air? The cosmos?
Bump. Bump. Shift. Bump.
I heard another whimper and a snuffling sound.
Paul! I was on Paul's back! Was he taking me to Edward?
"Ed...ward..." My voice rasped as though in a desert with no water, but blood continued to pour down the back of my throat in a steady stream—shouldn't that lube things up? Why couldn't I talk right? My tongue felt too big in my mouth, swollen. "Edward..." This time it came out as a wisp of air that I could barely hear myself.
Suddenly, there was a halt in the stilted, but hypnotic, movement of the animal beneath me—Paul in his wolf form—and I could feel a blast of fetid, hot breath as he roared at me. I figured that meant he was taking me to Edward, wasn't happy about it, and wanted me to shut the fuck up. Frankly, there was nothing I could do in my present condition either way—I was trapped on the back of this beast, and I had no choice but to trust that he would bring me home. Edward was home now.
I slipped in and out of consciousness, unsure of what was real and what was in my mind as more visions of Edward floated by.
The day outside the school when Edward and I connected so strongly that I felt pulled to him like a magnet... the way he kissed me so tenderly, yet possessively, letting everyone know I was his—hand wrapped around the back of my neck as he pulled me in tight, the fingers of his other hand entwined with mine.
Edward licking my scars, the burn like acid, and then making sweet love to me.
The day Riley gave me the pearls, and Edward tied me down to the bed. The lost, insecure look in his eyes as he made love to me afterward.
Exchanging gifts and then making love under the soft light of the Christmas tree.
Bump. Bump. Shift. Bump.
The hypnotic movement of Paul's body beneath mine suddenly ceased, and I could feel him shifting as he started to topple. It was beyond me to do anything to stop myself from falling at that point, and my body slid in a sickening descent toward the ground.
Someone caught me, and even though I pried my eyes open, everything was in shadow. "Edward. I need Edward."
"I'm right here, baby. You're in my arms." Edward's concerned voice was a balm to my soul, and I was so relieved to be with him again. Although it had only been a matter of hours since I'd seen him, it felt like an eternity.
I reached a hand up, caressing his face, nuzzling my nose into the crook of his neck, and breathing him in. I whispered words against his fragrant skin—I'm not even sure what they were—and then the tears started to fall. I couldn't stop them, and I didn't try; the relief of being in Edward's arms was overwhelming.
Edward sank to the ground, his arms wrapped protectively around me. "It's okay; I've got you. I'm never letting you out of my sight again."
Oh, do you promise? Please, please never let go of me, my guardian angel.
I heard Paul screaming then, and I told Edward that I couldn't see him. Why couldn't I see him? I knew Edward and I were talking, but there was a roaring in my ears, and I wasn't even sure I was making any sense.
My body felt so cold; Edward's voice and Paul's screams sounded like they were coming from down a long tunnel. My fingers gripped his shirt reflexively, and I felt as though Edward was my lifeline—the only thing tethering me to this world—as a floaty feeling started to come over me, and my limbs started to feel numb.
From far away, I heard my voice speak, "I'm scared, Edward."
"Don't be scared, love. If I have to, I'll change you. I won't let anything happen to you; I promise."
Edward's love wrapped around me like the petals of a delicate flower, and suddenly the roaring in my ears diminished, and my vision returned. It was simply a moment of crystal clarity before I sank back into oblivion.
"You're so beautiful, Edward." I stroked his face, memorizing every angle and curve.
The roaring returned, and my vision was starting to grow dim. The long echoing tunnel stretched before me, and I knew my time on this earth might be limited. Before anything else could come between us, I had to tell Edward how I felt.
Grabbing his face between my hands with the last of my strength, I looked into his worried eyes. "I can't let this go on. You have to know the truth before something happens to me..."
"Izzy, calm down. Nothing is going to happen to -"
"Shut up, boyscout! I have something I need to say."
"What is it, love?"
As the light faded away, my last vision was of Edward's beautiful eyes. "Edward, I... love you."
~*O*~
I was floating... floating in a cocoon of care and softness, surrounded by angel wings, their downy feel wrapped around me like a blanket of love. I couldn't hear, speak, or even think, but I felt swaddled in love and a scent that seemed very familiar.
Every so often, something would echo down the long tunnel, but whenever I tried to tune into the sounds, they would bounce off the walls, overlapping each other and fading away. The harder I tried to grasp onto the vague tendrils of sound, the faster they seemed to slip out of my grasp.
Rather suddenly, the cocoon of downy feathers was removed—my cocoon was being ripped away, and I felt like I was falling into a black hole. A sound filled my ears—roaring mixed with a slamming sound—and dizziness overtook me to the degree that it seemed I was tumbling in the darkness. Panic welled up inside me; I had no idea where I was, and no coherent thoughts were being formed in my confused mind. Trying to reach out, to touch something solid, to grab onto something that might tether me to reality and stop my descent, I found no purchase as the feeling of dropping into a void picked up speed.
My free fall was stopped by softness as I felt the angel wings wrap around me once more, bringing me to a gentle stop. Awareness started to seep through my body and mind.
Cool lips touched my cheek.
Gentle fingers trailed lightly over my skin, coming to rest over my heart, the beating of which grew steadier and less drum-like in my ears as the sounds and smells around me came into sharper focus.
Edward. I could smell Edward's heavenly scent surrounding me, and I realized that he was the angel with the downy wings that had been protecting me. I heard the cadence of his voice, but not the words being spoken, and I struggled to listen harder. I was able to catch some of his words, and they were music to my ears.
"...and neither will I. I love you more than my own life. I wish I could trade places with you right now. I would do anything for you." His voice sounded so pained, so tortured.
I longed to comfort him, to let him know I was aware of his presence and could hear his words of love. I couldn't seem to locate my mouth—my essence seemed to be comprised of my mind and my heart, which was trying to beat its way into Edward's caring hand. Where was my mouth? Where were my eyes? Searching desperately for a way to communicate, I felt something flex inside my mind.
Edward.
"Izzy?" his incredulous voice answered back.
Okay, so I couldn't find my mouth, but somehow he heard me anyway. I tried again.
Edward. Pain lanced through my head, and I fought to hold onto that feeling of flexing that was allowing Edward to hear my thoughts.
"I heard you. I don't know how, but I did."
I love you. I'm sorry.
Everything was shifting, and in my mind, I could see a long, paved road with waves of heat rippling up into the air. To the side of the road was desert as far as the eye could see and a cerulean blue, cloudless sky. What the fuck did that have to do with the price of death and dying? If I was going to die, I wanted to see my Edward.
We were speaking, but it barely registered in my overheated mind—perhaps that was the symbolism of the hot black asphalt—my brain was frying like an egg and time was limited.
I'm dying, Edward. I can feel myself fading.
Edward was protesting, but I didn't hear the words.
Suddenly, I had a body, and I was standing in a semi-dark tunnel. One end held pitch darkness, the other a warm white light that pulsed. The light drew me like a magnet; there was an answering warmth blooming in the center of my chest, and the compulsion to be bathed in its glow was compelling. The mere desire to be near it caused me to glide its way—there was no need for feet here. As I drew closer, there was a mirror. When I looked into it, I was shocked.
The girl looking back at me had mahogany hair, softened features, and no viper bites or harsh make up. She gazed back at me and smiled tenderly. Reaching my hand out, I found that the mirror held no barriers, and I was able to touch her skin.
"Who are you?" I whispered.
"You."
The warm light pulsed out further, almost touching my skin, and I knew that once it was entered, there was no turning back. I hesitated. "What should I do?" I asked the girl in the mirror.
"Edward is begging you to hold on. You have to make a decision."
Edward.
But the light was so welcoming, and the rest of the tunnel was cold and dank.
I turned toward the light, moving closer.
Edward begged me not to leave him.
Promise me you'll live for us both.
"No." Edward's voice came through loud and clear. The angel wings wrapped tighter around me, and their comfort was starting to rival that of the white light which was beginning to fade.
"Make your decision," the girl in the mirror whispered.
Fucking promise me, boyscout! If you love me, you'll promise.
"Izzy, stay calm. Whatever you're doing, it's making your nose bleed again. Please hold on—for me. I can't do this without you."
How could I leave him? If there was any way for me to stay with him, I had to try.
The girl in the mirror smiled. "I knew you would make the right decision."
Have to stop talking to you. The effort to open my mind must be causing the bleeding. I'll try to hold on. Just know that no matter what happens, I love you. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
The pain seared through my head, and I was suddenly hyper-aware of my body, which was wrapped in Edward's arms. His lips touched against mine softly.
My consciousness had returned, and I could hear everything going on around me, but my eyes, mouth, arms, legs—none of them would obey me. More blood trickled down the back of my throat, and I decided to halt my efforts and just be grateful that I could hear and feel Edward.
When Carlisle returned with the blood, he asked Edward to get off the bed. The thought sent a wave of panic through me, but I needn't have worried.
"No. I won't leave her side. I have to have my hands on her."
Yes. Thank God Edward understood that I needed his touch to tether me here. I feared if he let go of me, I would simply float into the warm, beckoning light without my consent.
Carlisle explained what he was doing as he started the blood transfusion, and I was grateful that I could feel the prick of the needles as they pierced the skin of each of my arms. As the blood entered my system, I felt myself slowly gaining strength. Edward never left my side; his hands were always touching me tenderly.
When Alice called, Edward relayed to me that I should not use my power because it was causing hemorrhaging—I could have told him that—I could feel and taste my life draining away when I did. At the mention of Paul, my heart beat harder. I owed Paul a huge debt of gratitude; if not for him, I would be dead right now, and I never would've had the chance to tell Edward that I loved him.
I gathered from the side of the conversation I could hear that Paul was still alive, and they were doing what they could to help him.
"The only thing in this world I want to hear more is that she's going to be okay—not just for today, but long enough to be ready..." Edward's words touched me deeply; I had a feeling he was talking about changing me.
His finger trailed lightly across my palm, and my fingers finally obeyed me, twitching slightly.
"Izzy? Can you do that again?" Edward's voice was filled with delight, and when he brought his fingertips to rest against mine, it was easier this time to respond to his touch.
Ending his call with Alice, Edward's lips grazed mine. "Come back to me, love. I can't wait to see those beautiful eyes."
All too soon, the bed was moving as we headed for the CT scan. Edward's hand never left mine except when they had to strap me down and roll me into that fucking machine. I felt like such a pussy being afraid of a CT scan in a hospital after what I'd been through, but I couldn't control my heart rate as it spiked, giving me away.
"It's okay, love. I'll be right here the whole time. I promise I won't leave you." Edward stroked my legs, and the feel of his hands calmed me immediately.
Pussy, my inner banshee sneered at me.
For once, I was happy to hear her snarky voice—it meant that I was getting better.
"Hey, bitch," I greeted her.
Oh, don't tell me you missed me, you fucking pansy!
"Nah."
After the scan was over, I could hear Edward having a one-sided conversation with Carlisle, which alerted me to the fact that there was something Carlisle didn't want to say in front of me. Shit.
"I can't leave her," Edward said. Thank God.
After a brief pause, Edward said, "Father... is it bad?"
Fuck me.
On the ride back to my room, Edward held my hand, and I was able to curl my fingers against his lightly. My stomach rolled with nausea until the bed finally came to a rest. If I threw up right now, lying on my back without being able to move, would I just choke the fuck to death? I knew Edward wouldn't allow that, but if I was alone here, I'd totally die from choking on my own fucking puke. I was shocked it hadn't happened with the amount of my own blood I'd ingested today. Gross.
The needles slid back into my arms. More of this shit? How much blood had I lost?
"You're getting better, love. I can hear it in the strength of your heart and the sound of the blood in your veins. Once these two units of blood are in you, it's all finished. Now I just need you to come back to me." Edward's lips brushed against mine, and the familiar heated tingles raced through me.
There was a snapping sound nearby and the rasp of something sliding. "Edward, take a look," Carlisle said.
"What is that?" Edward asked. He kept his hand in contact with mine, but he was stretching slightly away from me.
After a brief pause, Edward said, "It's okay, Carlisle. Whatever it is, she'll want to know."
"See these areas here, here and here? Those are bleeds in various stages of healing. There's another over here that appears to be even older."
"Yes, but what does that mean?"
"Let me show you this image now." I could hear the films sliding against each other as he changed them. "What do you observe here, Edward?"
"It's worse. Those areas are bleeding freely. Are you telling me..."
"No, Edward. This is the first image I took; the one I showed you before was the last one."
"That makes no sense."
"I know."
What the fuck are these two talking about? How about some English? my inner banshee bitched.
"That means that she's... healing?"
"Yes. I would wager if we take another scan in a few hours, most of the bleeding will have stopped. These old ones were less severe; I'm guessing this one and this one are from when she knocked Jasper down. Has Izzy ever complained of nose bleeds?"
"No, never."
Yes. Shit! I thought it was the fucking blow.
"Um, Edward... this is a little bit awkward, but have the two of you been having... unprotected sex?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" Edward sounded a bit embarrassed.
"Have you?" Carlisle persisted. "It could be important."
It could?
"Yeah. I didn't think... I mean, vampires are sterile, so... did I do this, Father? Is it my fault that Izzy almost died?" Edward's hand tightened on mine, his voice horrified.
"No, son. Actually, just the opposite; I think it may have saved her life."
What?
~*O*~
A/N: Okay... so I'd love to hear your thoughts on everything. Also, I'll most likely be writing an outtake of this story for one of the FGB causes. Let your voice be heard—what would you like to see? So far, the most requested scene is Edward losing his V-card.
You can follow me on Twitter for all sorts of random musings, news and teaser info. (at) SaritaDreaming I also have a blog where I'll be posting all of my stories, special outtakes and teasers. Teasers are posted there first, and sometimes I post special little appeteasers that won't be offered anywhere else. No more than 2-3 messages per week. www . Saritadreaming . Wordpress . com
My upcoming projects:
On March 17th I'll be posting my Darkfest entry a J/B twisted tale called 'Inside You.'
On March 18th I'll be posting my FADV one-shot 'Remember When It Rained.' The link to the banner and teaser is on my profile.
In early April, I'll be posting the continuation of my collab with wmr1601 'Speak Now.' The prologue is up on my profile, so put it on alert if you're interested!
I'm writing an outtake of Betti Gefecht's story 'Little Green and EasyBella' for the FGB Autism cause.
I'm writing a one-shot based on a banner made by the talented Tkegl called 'Temptation' for the Fandom 4 Sexual Assault Awareness.
Further info and links are on my profile if you're interested.
The next story to be updated will be 'I Saw You Coming.'
Thanks for reading!