Loud snoring tore Joker away from his flashback. Joker looked around. Harley was sound asleep in her chair, but she was still sitting up straight. Joker giggled. Harley was a very obedient child when properly persuaded. She wasn't making all of that noise, though. Joker looked at the floor. One of the Terry's was snoring away, a smile on his face. The Joker venom had apparently started to wear off. The other Terry, though, was still as still as stone.

Joker walked over to him and gave him another prod with his foot.

"Get up."

Terry didn't move.

Normally, death didn't upset Joker. He had dealt with it most of his life, or at least as long as he could remember.

Seeing this kid lie so still, though, started to bring back memories. This was how Bruce looked when he was buried. The kid looked a lot like Bruce.

Joker directed one of his henchmen to take the kid to a bed and let him lie there until they could determine if he was going to recover.

Just to punish himself a little more, Joker decided to go back to the bedroom and look at the ghastly sight. These things were usually pretty to him; he used to brag about his smiling corpses being works of art. There was nothing pretty about a dead Batman, though. Joker pushed away a memory of Bruce while looking at Terry.

Joker sat at the edge of the bed and checked Terry's pulse. Nothing. Dead, most likely.

He wasn't sure that Terry was dead yet. It was rare moments like these where he sort of wished he would have saved some of that anti-toxin Batman used to manufacture all of the time. He never kept antidotes for his poison because he almost never needed them for anything. The poison in the right concentration was meant to be a certain death sentence; that's the way it was supposed to work. It was never administered accidentally in the right hands.

The right hands...yeah right, what a joke.

Joker started having another flashback.

"That cloud over the city. It's Joker venom!"

"...but I didn't do it this time, Batman, you have to believe me."

"I don't believe he's telling the truth. I say we end him for all of the pain he's caused us and countless others, all of the lives he's taken!"

"Jason, put on a gas mask and see if you can find the source of this leak. I'll stay with the Joker and make sure he doesn't go anywhere."

"Honestly, Bruce, sometimes I think you love that clown more than me!"

Batman put his hands tightly around Joker's neck.

"Jason, I hate this man, and I'll snap his neck this time if I find out that he's responsible."

"Is that a promise?"

"Yes."

Joker quivered under Batman's iron grip.

"Bruce, please listen to me."

"You are scum, Joker. Every time I'm reminded of all of the atrocities you've committed, all of the lives you've taken, all of the pain and suffering you've caused I...I...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Batman's gas mask relaxed due to the tension his body was experiencing. This caused some of the gas to leak in.

"Well, that's a strange way to react, Bruce." Joker said.

Joker was still bristling from being accused of something he didn't do, and having Batman threaten to kill him was just infuriating right now.

"You know, even though it wasn't my joke, I kind of want to just let you die for what you almost did to me."

Batman didn't respond, he just kept laughing and laughing.

"On your feet, Bruce."

No response.

"Look, you need to get up. If you die right now, your little friends are going to think that I killed you, and I might be a mean untrustworthy dangerous mass murdering psychopathic killer, but I still don't play the game like this. This is so pedestrian and anti-climatic. I might as well have just tried to shoot you."

Joker grabbed Bruce by the hand.

"Come on."

Reluctantly, Bruce followed him, laughing all the way.

Joker sighed.

"Don't you have any of that anti-venom you usually carry?"

"ha ha...I...used...the...last...batch...I...had. Bat girl was exposed...to...the...poison...earlier."

Joker flashed a manic malicious grin.

"You wouldn't know the formula for it, would you?"

"ha ha...I'm...sorry...I...can't...give...that...to...you...and...I...think...you...know...why."

"Well, I'm the super villain clown chemist, and you're the one dying of one of my best jokes. Suit yourself, though."

"ha ha...you...really...are...a...monster...you...routinely...make...poisons...for...which...there...is...no...cure, leaving...the...burden...on...me. I...don't...know...how...many...of...your...hellish...concoctions...I've...had...to...reverse...engineer...do...you...really...think...I...would...trust...you...enough...to..."

Each word was labored and required a heavy gasp just so he had enough air to make sound.

"Okay, I get it, but Bruce, you really shouldn't be trying to give me lectures right now. You need to save your breath. The constant laughter won't allow you to breathe well. That's not what will kill you, though, not on this particular batch."

Bruce let out some more pathetic uncontrollable laughter. Joker rolled his eyes. At this point it just wasn't funny.

"Bruce, get one of your kids to go to Wayne Manor and make more antidote for you. You already have the formula."

"Owlman's...at...Wayne...Manor, but...I...sent...Nightwing...to...try...to...infiltrate...it..."

Joker slapped his forehead and cursed under his breath. Why did he ever trust Owlman? Here he was facing the prospect of having to say goodbye permanently to his favorite toy in the world, all because of that stupid owl. Plus, this death was just sad...not funny.

"Look, try to trust me for once. We're headed back to my hideout. I have a lab you can use there. Maybe you can synthesize your antidote there?"

"you...really...think...I...trust...you...enough...to...follow...you...to...your...hideout?"

"Look, bat breath, you're dying. What other choice do you have? I could have just left you, given my trademark flourish and crazy clown cackle, and bid you all adieu. You know me well enough, Bats. You know that I want this to end a different way."

"What...are...you...talking...about?"

"Oh, Bats..."

Joker sighed, leaned in, and gave Bruce a hug.

"Oh, Bats, I love you...or maybe I hate you...either way, I kind of need you, at least for now."

"normally...I...don't...need...you, Joker..."

"I think you do today, though."

Joker lead a very sick Bruce Wayne back to his hideout.

Bruce was constantly laughing and gasping for air. Soon, he was holding parts of his body due to muscle aches from not getting enough oxygen. Joker noticed Bruce holding his breath to try to keep from laughing.

"Don't be afraid to laugh, Bruce."

"what?"

Joker yawned.

"The laughter isn't what kills you, kiddo, although the pain that comes with it might make you wish you were dead. You should just let yourself laugh, because you still need to get as much air as you can. It's easier to breathe if you just let yourself laugh."

"I...thought...the...expression...was...die...laugh..."

Bruce started choking, coughing, and gasping.

"Shhhh...Bruce, don't say anything else."

Joker continued walking and then he realized what Bruce was trying to say.

"Yes, the expression is 'die laughing,' and that's essentially what happens, but the laughter still isn't what kills you...in fact, the poison could work without causing maniac laughter at all. It's just a nice touch for a clown, though, n'est pas?"

Bruce continued laughing and trying to walk. The cramps were getting worse.

"The killing agent is actually a neurotoxin. The victim finally suffers paralysis in some very important muscles, and they get that beautiful little trademark grin to take to the funeral home."

Joker let out a giggle.

"you're...sick..."

"Not as sick as you will be if you keep trying to talk. Stop already."

Bruce attempted to close his mouth and straighten his face, but of course the venom wouldn't allow that for long.

Joker almost burst out laughing watching Bruce try to control himself.

"You just aren't going to listen to me, are you? Let go. Stop fighting it. A little laughter never killed anyone, regardless of what the newspapers try to make you believe."

Joker smirked. Batman could tell that it was supposed to be a joke.

Bruce roared with laughter, presumably due to the venom.

"Well, at least you're laughing at something funny."

Bruce didn't respond but instead continued laughing.

"There now, isn't that better?"

"not...really..."

Joker leaned in and gave Bruce a kiss on the cheek.

"Something to remember me by, in case one of us doesn't make it."

Bruce stopped himself from taking his fist and punching the clown.

They arrived at one of Joker's warehouses. They were only a few blocks away to begin with, but with Joker venom pumping through his system, Batman felt like he had walked several miles.

Joker led Bruce to a chair, and Bruce let out some more laughter and started gasping for air.

"Breathe, Bruce."

Bruce carefully removed his gas mask and started gasping for air.

"That's it. Breathe, laugh...rinse, repeat."

Joker let out another giggle.

"Oh, and the lab's in this room, whenever you're ready."

Bruce attempted to get up and follow Joker into the room, but his legs just weren't working. He stumbled, fell, and let out more increasingly unpleasant laughter.

Joker rolled his eyes. The universe must hate me. The trick would have never worked on him had I played it. Joker thought.

"Do you need help, Batsy?" Joker asked.

Bruce didn't say anything, but he held out his hands. Joker grabbed him, pulled him up, and proceeded to drag him into his lab.

"Go on, make your cure." Joker said lazily.

Bruce stood over the lab table shaking. It looked like he was going to fall over again.

Joker let out another yawn.

Ooh...big strong Bats can't do anything for himself anymore. How pleasant for me and unpleasant for him that I finally find out he's human. I do like the show. I'll probably never forget this even if he does recover. Cute little Batsy not able to stand without support, gasping for air, and relying almost completely on his favorite killer clown. Awww...so sweet. This couldn't have been better if I planned it. Joker thought.

Joker let out another childish giggle.

Bruce blushed. Perhaps he somehow knew that was aimed toward him.

Joker continued to watch Batman standing over the lab table and shake like a leaf.

"I would offer you something to drink, but you aren't going to be able to do anything with it until the venom leaves your system. It would miss your throat and go straight to your lungs."

Suddenly, he passed out.

Joker walked over and prodded him with his feet.

Big strong Bats has fallen down, fallen down...Joker remembered when he had Batman penned a few years earlier and sung that silly little song. It sounded so hateful and inappropriate now for some reason, but he still started singing it. This time more slowly, maybe with more reverence so that it didn't exactly seem like he was mocking or happy about it.

Batman opened his eyes and scowled at Joker.

"Batsy, you're awake!"

The moment didn't last long, however, Batman started to fade really fast.

Joker recognized the paralysis starting to set in. Batman closed his eyes, and his whole body went limp.

"Bats, get up. Please, get up."

Joker pulled on Bruce's suit.

"At least say something, Bats."

Finally, Batman opened his eyes and let out a gasp and a moan.

"Bats, it's going to be okay, alright."

"I...can't...trust...you..." Batman's voice was almost a hoarse whisper at this point.

"Listen, I can help. Just give me the formula for the antidote, and I'll make it for you. It's totally out of character for me, I know. No one will ever believe I did it, et cetra...et cetra...et cetra...you get to be the big hero again, and I get to be the scary super villain. Just don't leave me like this."

A smile spread across Batman's face and he started laughing again. Joker wasn't sure if it was from the venom or from what he said.

"Go...get...a...pen...and..."

Joker ran and got a pen and piece of paper.

"Got it."

"The...chemical...formula...for...the...antidote...is..."

Batman took a long shallow breath and then his eyes closed again.

"Batman, this is Nightwing...I managed to get into Wayne Manor and get a sample of the Joker venom antidote. What's your location? Batman! Batman."

Joker sat and listened to the communicator go off for several minutes, hoping Batman would respond or something.

Finally, he decided he needed to do something before these stupid kids let their mentor and best person in the whole wide world die.

Joker shakily answered the communicator and put on the darkest sounding voice he could come up with. This was war.

"This isn't Batman, obviously, but he isn't looking that good. I'm leaving his body in a dumpster for you between Third and Main. Come get him, bat brats. I'm tired of this game."

Joker didn't even let out a chuckle. It was too much work to try to protect the people you love. This was proof.

Joker carefully dragged Batman to the dumpster behind his warehouse.

"I'm sorry for doing this to you, Bruce, I really am, but see they'll suspect a trap if I leave you in a convenient place and that will delay you getting your care."

Bruce let out a groan.

"thank...you..."

Joker was almost crying now. Normally, he could slit a man's throat and laugh about it, get almost euphoric over killing trainloads of men, women, and children, wax nostalgic over killing no-fun superheroes and sidekicks, but this was Batman...his creator and favorite playmate...dying...at someone else's hand. Owlman was going to pay dearly for this, even if Bruce did recover.

I need to leave...exit stage right. Night-wig and the others will be here soon.

Batman's conrads got there a lot sooner than Joker predicted. They met him as he was exiting the warehouse.

Joker wasn't using his usual tricks, because for once his mind wasn't on the game; it was on his friend.

In the doorway stood Nightwing, Red Hood, Batgirl, and Red Robin.

Joker took off running.

"Oh, no you don't." Nightwing growled.

"Look, you really need to see to Batman; he doesn't have much time left!"

Joker's tone was dripping with genuine concern, but the bat kids might have mistaken it for sarcasm.

"You see to Batman; I'll take care of the clown." Red Hood growled.

"Jason, how nice to see you again."

"Quiet."

Jason pulled out a revolver and stuck it to Joker's neck.

"You know, I shouldn't have listened to Bruce. I should have killed you when I had the chance. That way Bruce would still be alive."

Jason's voice was whiny and angry. Joker figured he had a right to be and didn't attempt to make any conversation. He hated these awkward moments when his victims finally got enough nerve to fight back.

"You're an infection, a disease, a plague that kills everything it touches." Jason was practically screaming the words. Joker thought he saw tears in his eyes.

Jason continued pressing the revolver to the clown.

You better hope I don't get out of this alive, Jason my boy, or else you are going to have to find another Lazarus pit. Joker thought.

Joker didn't care anymore. He knew Jason was angry, but he just lost his best friend. Being shot by this kid would be a relief right now.

"Speaking of plague. How did you stop the Joker venom cloud from spreading? I noticed the air was finally clear."

Jason scowled at Joker and punched him in the face.

"Wouldn't you like to know...yeah...I bet you would."

Yeah...I bet I would, too, dummy, I wouldn't have asked otherwise! Joker thought.

"I know how I can keep it from happening ever again."

Joker heard the gun click as Jason took the safety off.

"Do you really think killing me is going to solve anything, boy blunder?"

Jason smiled. It was an evil maniacal smile.

"Yeah, I do."

"BANG!"

Joker suddenly heard a loud bang, followed by the worst pain he had ever felt. Everything suddenly exploded and turned white then red, then white again. The pain was unbearable but it thankfully only lasted a few seconds.

That night, Joker awoke in a pool of blood and brain tissue. He had a splitting headache and a huge bruise where the bullet entered.

"What in Hades?"

Joker looked around, kind of taken aback. He didn't really expect those pills Owlman gave him a few days ago to be that powerful. The clown knew about Dionysium and even employed it to help him with some of his schemes, but this stuff the owl gave him held regenerative power that seemed almost capable of making people immortal. How was he ever going to kill this guy?

Joker wandered back to the garbage bin where he left his old friend. The body was still there. His kids didn't even come get it.

He didn't have any of Owlman's regeneration juice. It would have all gone to Bruce if he did.

Joker wandered back to Jason's crime scene. It was beautiful to him. The street lights illuminated the blood and fractured bone. The brain tissue was lying there in darker splotches. From the looks of it, his head exploded like a watermelon. He sure did have a bad headache.

Joker let out a little giggle as he traced something into the blood and brain tissue.

"Aha ha ha! The Joker's dead. I guess that's what they call poetic justice. Nice shot, Jason." Joker said as he looked at Batman's body expectantly.

Joker walked closer to the corpse and stared into the eyes that were hidden under the cowl.

"Get up, Bats! You can't fool me; you wouldn't miss one of my best performances. I bet you didn't know old Joker could do that."

"Bats!"

"Bats?"

The clown took one last look at the corpse before disappearing into the night. The look of that twisted smile on Bruce filled him with an emotion he didn't know how to express; Joker took another look at that smile. What once seemed so clever now seemed grotesque; the smile seemed to be mocking him, taunting him, daring him to play any more games, daring him to try to stop any more people from getting hurt.

Joker involuntarily shed more tears.

"Is this what you always felt, Bruce?"