Chapter 10

Femme Fatale

A/N: Huge thanks to Mel for betaing. This chapter will leave you hanging so I promise to update ASAP. Thanks for reading.

Sara needed to clear her head, and she only knew of one place where she could accomplish such a task. She and Grissom had shared many memories on a hill top over looking Lake Meade. The hill was calling to her even more, as she sifted through the photographs in front of her. Helping with the case was her only option to sanity, she was glad Nick offered her the files willingly. She would hate to lose her job for breaking and entering, although at this moment nothing really mattered. What mattered the most was finding Grissom alive. Something in her heart told her that he would be found, but hearts can deceive.

At 3am she decided sneak out of the apartment while Greg slept like a baby on her fold out couch. After hours of searching files for answers, she believed she found a new clue. Before she could dare examine her hunch, she needed to clear her head.

The lake would be her refuge where she could briefly forget about her problems. She could at least reflect on the good memories before diving into the bad. As Sara locked the door behind her, she could hear the echoes of her feet on the linoleum hallway. For a second she could have sworn she heard Grissom's voice echo as well...Alas that was an uncertainty.

She wished she had more certainties in her life, not just presently but in the past. Perhaps then she would have been more optimistic. She knew he was alive, but she didn't know for how long. He could die at any moment and then she would lose him forever.

Damn those uncertainties.

XxxX

"Well what do you think?" Sarah asked as she looked away from Lake Mede and up at the mountains and hills above. It was one of her favorite places to go to as a child. "My mother used to take me here every summer as a child." She smirked as she watched Grissom's eyes glitter in amazement.

"It is beautiful." Grissom sighed, as he mind was tugging at something else. Something here was familiar and he couldn't put his finger on it. "Did we ever come here?" He wondered as he remained transfixed on a hill above.

"Not that I know of...I haven't been here since..." She trailed off far too late for her liking. Why was she here? This was a personal place that she avoided because it reminded her of her past;. the moments when she was the most happy, before her world turned upside down.

"Since when?" Grissom wondered as he drew his eyes away from the hill and into her pupils.

"Nothing." She locked her lips as tight as she could, as her mind tried to block the pain. It was too late, the sickening feeling in her stomach started to slowly rise and gather in her throat. The burning sensation resembled acid reflux but far more painful.

He wanted to know.

Could she even tell him without losing control? She didn't want to unleash her demons, not on him again. She had already done that and he almost ended up dead. There were parts of her she couldn't control, parts that seemed to hide when she was around him.

As he squeezed her hand tenderly, his eyes probed her for answers.

"Please tell me..." He softly asked, knowing it must be a sensitive topic from her hesitation.

"My mother died when I was ten." She coldly stated like a robot reading from a textbook.

"I'm sorry..."

"No don't be. That's what everyone told me, 'sorry.' Sorry doesn't hide the fact that I watched a man murder and rape my mother. All I could do was watch helplessly from under the bed. Sorry doesn't change the fact that I was too damn afraid to protect her. Sorry doesn't change all the things I have done because of it, I wish it could." She didn't mean to sound so angry, but all of her bottled emotions were finally coming loose. She had never told anyone how she felt until now. Sarah was glad he was the one to know.

He leaned in to kiss her and she didn't pull away like she thought. Instead she embraced his affection and hoped it would somehow heal her.

XxxX

As Sara drove her car up the road which led to the hill, she had an odd sensation creep over her. Something was wrong.

The feeling instinctively made her drive faster until she got up to the top. The feeling began to slowly fade as she got out of her car and walked slowly to the hill's overlook. She felt exhausted by the time she reached her destination. She was rewarded with the breathtaking sight of the lake below and the romantic glow of stars above. This was a moment she wished she could share with him. As she looked below, she noticed a couple laughing and kissing the worries away. She had no one.

As she looked below she heard a familiar voice laugh out loud and it caught her attention. She squinted her eyes to look closer. What was she doing? She was so desperate to find Grissom that she was looking for him in the form of another happy man in a relationship? She decided to enjoy the view for what it was. She was merely here to comfort herself before diving into the unknown. She had a hunch; she saw something in those photos, a commonality; one that no one had thought of, probably because of its insignificance.

What if the commonality leads her to Grissom?

Even if he was found dead, at least she could tell herself she tried everything she could to find him. She couldn't rest until she gave the case all of her energy, even if it in the end it killed her.

XxxX

As Grissom looked at Sarah he couldn't help but drift his attention periodically into the heavens. Three things at the moment were stunningly beautiful: 1) Sarah's hair gracefully blowing in the wind, 2) The way the stars seemed to light the entire Earth and 3...

On top of the hill is where he saw her.

A figure simply dressed in black caught his eye. His heart exploded with wonder as he stepped away from Sarah and drifted unknowingly towards the bottom of the hill for a better view. It seemed that the woman didn't even notice his gawking, she seemed to be in another place entirely as his eyes widened further.

His confusion deepened, as another quote randomly entered his mind.

"For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to receive it."

She was indeed beautiful, and somehow love did enter his mind as he continued to stare at her.

A faint feeling of anger filled Sarah's body as she watched Grissom being hypnotized by anther woman's beauty. How dare, he! She thought they had something, she knew they had something. Why is he making love to another merely by using his eyes? Before she could wonder who the woman was, she looked up on the hill and a name popped into her mind.

Sara Sidle.

The real love of Grissom's life was on top of the hill. What are the chances?

How could she compete with her if he ever found out about the truth?

Wait! He would never talk with her again if he remembered the truth...He would probably kill Sarah with his bare hands if he ever remembered.

It was different now though. She would never hurt him again. They had something and it was time that they used their love to do something. Now was the time to make him think about something else so he wouldn't remember. She tore him away with one sentence.

"It looks like its time to do it." She announced, making him snap out of his stare.

"Sorry?" Grissom wondered, still off balance.

"You told me that you wanted to pick your victims as soon as you got better." She plainly said, not having any emotion attached. She no longer cared for anyone other then their well being, and if it meant sacrificing a few lives to make him not remember, then that is the way she would have to play.

"I don't ever remember saying that. ...Sarah, I don't want to go back to that life." Grissom closed his lids and winced in regret at the victims he never victimized.

"Do you love me?" She asked, holding him closer.

The question was simple and from the feeling in his heart it should be. But why couldn't Grissom answer it. As he looked up at the hill once more and saw that the figure was gone he decided it must have been his imagination. He had suffered from enough head trauma. Besides, Sarah didn't seem to notice a mysterious woman on top of a hill.

"Yes." Grissom hoarsely confessed.

"Well then, let's do what you promised to do. You can't go back to forgetting who you are. If you stop now the police may get closer to finding you by not keeping busy...You don't want them to break us apart do you?" Sarah asked, genuinely worried at what his answer would be.

"Alright tomorrow we'll..." Grissom was immediately cut off by a worried Sarah. Tomorrow could be too late. What if he remembers tonight? It would all be over. It had to be done now.

"No it can't wait Grissom." She confessed, the desperate need in her eyes. She couldn't bear to say goodbye to him. Not now. Would he actually go through with it? Once he did, some of Grissom's innocence would be taken away once more. Could she live with herself after torturing him further, to selfishly have him longer?

"OK..." Grissom said, not being able to look her in the eye. He didn't know if he could do it. He didn't think of himself as a rapist or a murderer. Only time will tell to see if he would remember who he was. Maybe it would be for the best if he never remembered after all.

Please let me know what you thought of this. Reviews are motivation.