The Big Chill
"I Heard it Through the Grapevine," part LAST.
I begged off dinner. I told mom I had a headache, promised I would come to dinner the next night, and left with a bag of food anyway. I didn't think I was up to sitting at the table with grandma continuing to go on about Carlos' PDA. I didn't want to have to try and explain it to my mother, and grandma didn't believe me for a minute when I said that I hadn't thought of him in years.
She barely could control herself long enough for me to make a mad dash through the children's section for a book for Mary Alice. As soon as she was settled into the car, she started in on me.
"Stephanie, why didn't you introduce me to your young man? He certainly was a hottie. Where have you been hiding him all this time? And what will Joseph think about it?"
"I wouldn't mind having a peek at some more of his goods," she continued, unabashed at my non-response. My head was throbbing thirty ways by the time she was up the porch stairs, so my headache wasn't even a lie this time.
I grabbed the dinner bag and slammed the car door closed with my hip, balancing the bag, my pocket book and a box with a fabulous pair of gold lame' pumps I had purchased this morning, while I maneuvered through the double door into my apartment building. Stepping off the elevator moments later, I muttered home sweet home to myself, while propping my collection of bags against the wall to unlock the door.
Yeah, home sweet dorm room, I thought, taking a sad look at the pathetic excuse for decorating in front of me. Dirty towels tossed on the floor near the bathroom, all my shoes and sneakers scattered from the entry to the bedroom. Ugh. Cleaning day must be coming soon, I thought as I tossed the new crap on top of the old crap and brought dinner to the counter. I tapped on Rex's cage and he popped his head out for a nanosecond. Because I offered him nothing more than a wave (no carrots or grapes or food of any kind) he scooted right back to where he came from. "Love you too," I grumbled.
Damn. Why was I so out of sorts? I had just this afternoon had my face kissed off. Carlos was available. I was still drawn to him like a magnet. I should be walking on air. All these years, all this time that I had dreamt of him, why, it seems he had dreamt of me too!! Well damn! This was good, wasn't it?
So what was bothering me? I put the container into the microwave and saw my answering machine was blinking. I hit 30 seconds, high; and rewind, and grabbed a fork and a Corona. The first message was mom, wondering if we got lost. The second, someone selling vinyl siding. The third, Marylou.
"Steph, ohmygod. Tell me it isn't true? Have you lost your mind? Is what Annette Rabinsky told me true? You made out with a complete stranger in the bookstore?"
"Oh. FUCK. SHIT. Fuck fuck fuck." Beeeeep. Beeeeep. Yeah, I don't think dinner is on my mind any more.
I took another long swig of my beer, and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. I set the bottle down and promptly banged my head against the counter. Now I knew why I was so…. Off. Joe. Shit.
Well maybe he won't hear about it. Right. Sure. Eddie Gazarra shared a desk with Joe. And he was married to Shirley the Whiner, a distant cousin of mine. And she was the PTA co-chair with Annette Rabinsky's sister-in-law, Robin Locklear. Joe is going to hear about this. I just know it. DAMN.
Finally I gathered my wits about me enough to turn off the ringer on the phone. There was no way I was dealing with busybodies all night long. I plopped onto the couch and tucked my knees up under my chin. Damn it. I didn't see anyone I knew at the bookstore! Of course, I was distracted. I looked down at my hand, and I could feel his lips still, gently grazing along my fingers. I shivered, and closed my eyes.
That had been orgasmic, his touch. He looked good. Strong, in control. He seemed to be a good dad too. I wondered about that. He didn't want to talk about her at all, I recalled. That little girl, Julie, she would be a heartbreaker some day. She looked just like Carlos, in a miniature feminine package. He has an ex too. Oh, god, what do I do if he calls? What are Joe and I? Where are we, what is going to change?
These were overly deep thoughts for me after the day I'd had. I decided to go to bed. All the answers can be found there, I had long ago discovered. And if they can't well, at least sleep would overtake me and make all my problems go away.
Xxxxx
It didn't take me 5 minutes to locate Steph's address after I tucked Julie into bed. She lived in a not so spectacular part of Trenton, I noted. I forced myself to shut down my computer before running a complete search on her and her life, acquaintances, and job. It was second nature for me to do so, but it felt wrong this time. Since I had formed RangeMan last year I had access to the most invasive of government search programs, and I utilized them for everything. But never once had I entertained the idea of peeking into her life… it seemed like it would be a slippery slope once I started. I knew she was my secret obsession. And that was fine, in the arena of sleep, of dreams. But in my day-to-day life, I couldn't allow that distraction.
It was nearing midnight when I finally decided once and for all to just go ring the bell. I had been sitting outside in her parking lot for hours, staring at the lights in her unit. No movement. No one entered, or left. Good. No boyfriend at least. I hoped. I had pressed her name on my cell a hundred times, letting the call go through once, on my 60th attempt to call her. And her machine picked up.
I stood in front of her door for a long time. It was late, and ringing the bell seemed improper. I looked at the lock and made a decision. Shutting the door behind me without a sound, I let my eyes orient themselves to the darkness, making out pathways, finding doors. All the things that were trained into me; that I did without conscious thought or even acknowledgement. One bedroom apartment, nothing fancy. I glanced around once more. Well that was an understatement. Maybe she just moved in.
I knew my stealth capabilities would allow me to enter and leave without her knowledge, if that was what I chose to do. I hadn't decided yet if I would wake her, or just watch her sleep. I approached the hallway, and stopped suddenly when I heard a squeaking noise. Slowly turning my head, I zeroed in on the source. Huh. She owns a rat. He looked like he was aiming for an all night session on his wheel. I resumed my careful progress down the hall. I chose the second door as her bedroom, and placed my hand on the knob. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I hoped she wasn't a light sleeper. I was quiet; I knew that if I didn't want to be noticed I wouldn't be, but I didn't want her to freak out if she found me there either. Technically I did just B and all I needed was the cops tonight.
I stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame, watching her sleep for a long time. She filled the bed. She was sprawled out spread-eagled; and I was hard, staring at her tiny black lace panties, and the loose fitting white t-shirt that had ridden up around her breasts, leaving the flat expanse of stomach and belly button glowing in the moonlight. Her legs were as long as I remembered. My hand went to my crotch as I recalled the feel of her breasts in my hands; the way she had felt against me, standing in the surf that long ago summer day, her warm bare skin molded to my body.
I took two steps and found myself at the bed's edge without conscious effort. I cast a slight shadow on her face and as I got ready to carefully ease myself onto the edge of the bed, she stirred. She opened her eyes, and mumbled my name as she focused on my dark shape.
Her hand came up to rub her eyes. "Carlos," she stated again, but still without fear of my being here. Good. I sat down on the bed's edge, and reached out to caress her face. "Babe," I murmured.
"What are you doing here? What time is it?" She continued to rub her eyes and yawn and stretch her arms, which wasn't helping my situation at all. I saw her nipples pebble under her t-shirt and it took all my willpower to keep my hands to myself.
She sat up in the bed, continuing to pepper me with questions. "You ever hear of a phone? And how did you get in here?"
I laughed then. "Babe, my daughter could break into this apartment." At that, she stuck her tongue out at me and crossed her arms over her chest. Her tongue! I shook my head internally. Focus! "I called. Your machine picked up. It's past midnight. And I wanted to see you."
Xxxxxx
Now I was really aggravated. Why does it always happen this way? You are having the most wonderful of dreams, and the darned alarm clock is determined to break in and wake you! I reached over and smacked the blasted thing and pulled the cover tight. I wanted to go back to my dream! It had been wonderful and full of Carlos and me together. His arms had enveloped me, and we had kissed and his breath whispered through my hair and it was so incredibly good. It kept beeping, and I swatted ineffectually toward the nightstand again. Why didn't the damned thing stop?
"Babe," I heard then, and Carlos' hand reached out to grab mine. He sat up and reached for his cargos, and pulled out a phone. "Yo. I know. Ok, 20," and he closed it. It wasn't a dream?
I opened my eyes and I was presented with the extraordinary sight of Carlos' back. Wearing nothing but black silk boxers, he was running his hands through his long black hair. I knew how that felt. Oh, yeah. My eyes traveled up and back down his back. Muscle on muscle, incredibly smooth mocha skin--- Yum. I licked my lips and just stared. He turned then and leaned down to kiss my cheek. "See something you like?" He laughed lowly and kissed my nose, too. "I'm sorry, babe, work," he nodded toward his phone.
I scooted up and pulled the blanket with me. He pulled it back down and ran his finger along the neckline of my t-shirt. "Thank you for letting me stay." He tucked a curl around my ear and stood then, pulling on a fitted black shirt. Damn, I would have called it painted on if I hadn't just watched him dress!
"Babe, you're staring."
"You aren't a dream."
"No."
"Last night wasn't a dream?"
"No babe." He was laughing at me now, I just knew it; his eyes scrunched a tiny bit and his mouth barely curved.
"What time is it?" Profound. I'm just not that good in the morning; what can I tell you.
"6:15."
"AM?"
"Yeah, babe." Again with the laughing thing. I'm glad he finds me entertaining. By now he had dressed fully and was lacing his boots. He turned and kissed me again, and this time he made a real effort. I could barely breathe when he pulled away.
"Dinner tonight?"
"Huh? Uh, yeah. Umh, that would be nice."
"Great. No. Fuck, tonight's out. How about Friday? 7 PM?"
I nodded in agreement and he bent down to kiss me once more. "Friday babe."
As I heard the apartment door close, I realized my cell phone was vibrating. I reached over to find it in my jeans. Isn't sleep time sacred to anyone?
I looked at the read-out. Joe. Fuck. "What," I mumbled into my cell. "It's the middle of the night Joe."
Xxxxxx
"Cupcake, we need to talk." I glanced into the rearview mirror and hung a quick U-ie on the deserted pre-dawn street to get to Steph's apartment building.
"Now?"
"I'm pulling into your lot; yeah, now. My shift just ended."
"What? Why?"
"I heard some really interesting stories last night, Cupcake."
"Whatever. Let yourself in, I'm going back to sleep."
I snapped my phone shut and tossed it onto the seat next to me. Damn woman. What the fuck was going on, I wondered. I pulled into a parking spot near the dumpster and saw a late model black sports car back out of another spot and pull away. It was familiar but I couldn't place it. There certainly wasn't a senior in Trenton who drives something that rich!