A/N~ Let me start off by apologising and begging for forgiveness. I'm sorry it took so long for me to update, I don't know why but every time I tried to write this chapter I couldn't do it. Anyway. Chocolate nicotine is good to go once more and thank you to anyone who is still reading this. c:

That night Matt and Mello sat up trying to talk through everything that's happened between them.

"Matt, I am so sorry..." Mello offered when he finally calmed down and stopped crying.

"It's fine, Mells."

"It's not Matt, you don't deserve to be treated the way I treat you."

"Mello, I don't mind..." Matt reached his arm out to take Mello's hand, exposing the mess of his forearm to the blonde in front of him.

To say Mello was shocked was an understatement. Had he really neglected Matt so much that he hadn't even noticed he'd been doing this to himself? Not only was Mello very good at reading people, heck he was second at Wammy's, but Matt had been his best friend since the moment he got there. The fact he hadn't noticed made him feel terrible and the oh so real damage he'd caused was evident right in front of him. Mello's thoughts were interupted by an anxious Matt who had noticed Mello staring.

"Mel..." He said nervously, trying to get the other boys attention. "Mel, what is it?"

Still staring at the arm of the boy he was supposed to care about, he couldn't get the words out. He wasn't sure if it was because he was scared of what Matt might say or if he didn't feel worthy of even asking, since he could tell from some of the marks that this wasn't just a recent 'one off' event for the redhead. Instead he just followed his instinct and brought his arm up to meet his lips. He kissed Matt's palm, too worried about touching the scars on his arm just yet in case Matt didn't want him to. Since he gave no negative response to Mello's first gesture, he kissed Matt on the wrist being careful not to hurt him (any more than he already had). Matt shut his eyes tight, taking in the moment... It wasn't often that Mello showed affection for anyone so he wanted to cherish this moment more than anything.

"Matt..." he finally began. "This is all my fault, isn't it?" he asked, not taking his gaze from the marks that rested on Matt's arm. He sat there, stroking the older scars with his thumb refusing to look at the boy he'd hurt so much.

"Not all of them.." Matt tried, he didn't want Mello to feel bad or to pity him. He just wanted all of this in the past.

But it was in this moment right here that Mello really realised the full extent of what he had done to Matt. All the torment that Mello had been going through trying to fight this himself was nothing compared to the way he was taking it out on Matt. After all, it wasn't entirely the pretty little redheads fault that he couldn't look at him without his heart skipping a beat. It wasn't Matt's fault that his Mom would be dissapointed in him or that his dad would lay a hand on him. After all, as much as Mello hated his father for the way he treated him, he hadn't been acting much better himself towards the only person who had ever accepted him for who he is.

"Matt, stop it. I don't deserve for you to treat me so nicely... Just tell me how you really feel."

"Mello, please... It's fine-"

"No, it's not! Gosh, why am I the one getting mad at you? Yell at me Matt. Do something. Hit me again if you want. Please, Matt." Mello begged. He wasn't caring if he sounded ridiculous, he just wanted Matt to feel better even if that was at his expense.

"Mello. I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we just leave it behind us?" The last thing Matt wanted was to start talking about feelings again, he never thought straight when it came to feelings and Mello.

"Matt, I really feel awful... It doesn't matter what you say... I won't judge you. I deserve it all."

"Actually, Mello, you don't deserve it at all."

"Yes I do, Matt how can-"

"If you want me to talk about stuff, how about listening?" Mello was right, if they wanted to move on from this then they had to talk about everything and clear the air. I have to tell him how I feel.

Mello nodded. Boy is he cute when he's quiet. After a few moments Matt had completely forgotten whay he was going to say and he realised he was staring at Mello. But to his surprise, Mello hadn't said a word. He just sat there waiting for Matt to say something, a slight blush creeping it's way on to his cheeks as he caught Matt's gaze.

"Mello, even after everything, I still think you're beautiful." He said this looking away from the blonde in front of him. Matt knew he shouldn't be saying this. He was meant to be mad at him, but still he just couldn't help but want him. He knew Mello didn't feel the same but he needed to clear the air.

"Matt..." The blonde was a little surprised, but a part of him always knew there was something there. Matt had always been open about his sexuality and nobody took that much shit from someone they didn't care about. "Matt, I don't deserve this..."

"I know. I know more than anyone that you don't." He said gently, tucking the blonde locks hanging in Mello's face behind his ear. "But, I can't just make this feeling go away."

"You're the biggest idiot I've ever met, you know that?" Mello said, half-jokingly trying to lighten the mood.

"and you're the most hormonal, egotistic prick I've ever met." He laughed. "Mello... I have to ask."

He looked up at the younger boy. "Why do you do it? Why... Why do you treat me like this? Do.. Do you really hate me that much?"

"Matt, you idiot. I told you. I don't hate you. I don't fucking hate you at all. Fuck. Fucking fuck, fuck, fuck."

"Ah, yes." Matt nodded sarcastically not really understanding his friends outburst.

"You're not getting it, are you?" Mello questioned, he really hoped Matt would understand. He didn't want to have to say any more than was necessary.

Matt just sat there looking at Mello with that same, adorably confused look on his face like the first time he tried to read on of Mello's books written in German.

Mello leaned over on the bed where they were sat fearing nothing anymore. He had already hurt Matt enough, now was not the time to worry about anything else. He leaned in until he was face to face with Matt. The red haired boy felt a shiver run down his spine. Is this really happening?

His heart racing twice as fast, he knew he had to say it. Something he had been so afraid to do for so long, Mello was about to do and he wasn't sure how Matt might respond. Sure Matt liked him but would he really appreciate this right now? Mello didn't know but he knew he had to do this now or he never would.

"Matt, I love you."

A/N~ SO, Melly finally told Matt how he feels. What do we think? Is this there happy ending? Did Matt forgive him too soon or will he even decide to accept his feelings?

Review please? c:

again, I apologise for the length between updates. But I'm feeling good to go again and I have more to write so expect another update pretty soon.

Thanks to everyone who reads this story and to the following sweethearts for reviewing: YaoiXxFreak, CatatonicVanity, MikoUchiha, Noah of luck and that random guest. c: